- 5/15/2025
Johnny's the top high-school football player and many colleges want him. His girlfriend, coach and best friend want him in the college, serving themselves most.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00You
00:00:30Dear Lord, we pray that we may win this game today. We ask that you give us the strength and the courage
00:00:37to win our second straight state championship.
00:00:42We ask, Lord, that nobody on our side is seriously injured.
00:00:49We know in our hearts, Lord, that we are the best team.
00:00:56We ask that you allow us to win this game.
00:01:05The Lord wants you to put your foot on their balls and believe in it.
00:01:10Because that's what wins football games.
00:01:13Not jumping off sides like a bunch of wimps and faggots.
00:01:18All right, lift your heads, boys. Prayer's over. I talk to God. I'm through talking to God.
00:01:23Now I'm talking to you.
00:01:25You're going to be out there in front of your families, student body.
00:01:29Every girl you ever had a heart on for is going to be out there today,
00:01:32but you will not be going to no sock hop tonight, boys.
00:01:35You will not get no honey on your stinger tonight if you don't go out there and bust your ass.
00:01:42Because this is it.
00:01:45This is the big one.
00:01:49This is the big one.
00:01:53I want you to taste it.
00:01:56I want you to smell it, son.
00:02:02There's winners and there's nothing else.
00:02:06I don't give a shit what those pinkos over in Russia say.
00:02:09You want to be a loser, you go live in Russia.
00:02:12I'm not a loser. I'm a winner.
00:02:15I'm an American.
00:02:17Who wants to be John Wayne? Who wants to go out there and grab a root and hang on?
00:02:22Who wants to get a mean on?
00:02:24Get a mean on, son.
00:02:26Let me see you get a mean on, son.
00:02:29Now who wants it? I want to know.
00:02:31Who wants this? Who wants to get a mean on right now?
00:02:34Who wants it? I want it! I want it!
00:02:47I want it!
00:03:06Oh, boy!
00:03:08Good job, man!
00:03:10The bride of Ashcroft High, Jani Walker!
00:03:17Ah!
00:03:22I got to play football now!
00:03:24Yes, sir!
00:03:25Couch, it's the last game of the season.
00:03:27You could maybe get in for a couple minutes?
00:03:29You want to play?
00:03:31Yes, please.
00:03:33No, you don't.
00:03:36Hey! Hey!
00:03:48Hey!
00:03:53That's Wysock and Walker's 40th TV Pass this season!
00:03:57A new state record!
00:04:00Wy... Wysock!
00:04:06Penetrate! Come on, penetrate, Martin!
00:04:08Find a hole!
00:04:13Yeah, just give him a punt sign, will you?
00:04:18Dude!
00:04:20Walker, kick the ball! Kick it!
00:04:36Another record for Walker!
00:04:38This is what I'm looking for.
00:04:40Five-second hang time?
00:04:47And he has got it, fellas!
00:04:49Are you...
00:04:53Ah!
00:05:0011.35, Gibson's out of his car and into the stadium.
00:05:04Out of the... Ah!
00:05:07Here's the shovel, will you?
00:05:09Thanks.
00:05:11Coach...
00:05:13That offer still stands.
00:05:15My answer's still no.
00:05:17Do it for us, for the singles!
00:05:19We're calling the plays here, Walker!
00:05:21I think the score's 52-0.
00:05:24What can we do to get Gash in the game?
00:05:26I got it. Let's lose five!
00:05:28Hey! Hey!
00:05:32Push it in! I want another score! Let's go!
00:05:34Let's go!
00:05:41Oh, it's the leg!
00:05:44What's he doing? What's Walker doing?
00:05:46Uh-oh! I think I broke my dick!
00:05:49Ah!
00:05:50Oh, no, not his George!
00:05:52Now, Walker's on me.
00:05:54Gash! Gash! Give me Gash!
00:05:56Get in the game, Gash! Put it in the end zone!
00:05:58First time!
00:06:00What's the matter, son?
00:06:01I broke my dick, coach.
00:06:02Rub some dirt on it and get back in there.
00:06:04It's broken, fellas.
00:06:06You go left. You go right.
00:06:08I'll run.
00:06:14Oh, all wrong.
00:06:17Oh, shit!
00:06:19Gash! Throw your navel in the ground, will ya?
00:06:22Hey, Juicy.
00:06:24Hi, Johnny.
00:06:26Would you mind taking off your underpants real quick and go stand over there?
00:06:28Sure. Anything for you.
00:06:33235, cheerleader taking her yellow panties off.
00:06:36Thank you. Over and out.
00:06:38Hey, guys, Juicy Dorfman isn't wearing any underpants.
00:06:41Whoo!
00:06:46So?
00:06:48Left, 46, on the first sound.
00:06:51Ready?
00:06:53Break!
00:07:00Oh, I see.
00:07:02That girl's not wearing any underwear.
00:07:04What?
00:07:06What?
00:07:08Hey, check it out.
00:07:18All wrong.
00:07:26I see the hole. I see the hole.
00:07:36Oh, yeah!
00:07:38Come on.
00:07:41And Rock High has just won
00:07:43their second consecutive state football championship!
00:07:46Congratulations to Coach Wayne Hisler
00:07:49and especially to everyone,
00:07:51high school All-American Johnny Walker!
00:07:55Whoo!
00:08:00Yeah!
00:08:07Oh, yeah!
00:08:09Move, move!
00:08:11Yeah!
00:08:18Hello?
00:08:20Hey, Johnny, glad I could get to you.
00:08:22This is Howard Kosak.
00:08:24You were just tremendous out there today.
00:08:27I've never seen a better performance at the high school level.
00:08:30You should go to an Ivy League school
00:08:34by the name of Yale University,
00:08:36in my opinion, young man.
00:08:38Have you thought about such a thing?
00:08:40Is this really you, Howard?
00:08:42Howard.
00:08:44Is this Howard Kosak?
00:08:46Does anybody in America like you?
00:08:48Huh?
00:08:50Oh!
00:08:52Sorry!
00:08:54My boys, my boys, all right.
00:08:57It's worth a victory, huh?
00:08:59It's worth a victory.
00:09:04Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, listen to me, man.
00:09:06Sign with me, I will make you a star.
00:09:08Now, ignore all these other guys, man.
00:09:10They're a bunch of athletic pimps.
00:09:12Trust me, athletic pimps. Look at the way they dress, man.
00:09:14Write your own ticket. I'll give you anything you want.
00:09:16Spring break, huh, Puerto Rico?
00:09:18Johnny, Johnny, just tell me what you want,
00:09:20and I'll get you two of them. What do you like?
00:09:22You like girls? I like the haze.
00:09:24You got it. What else? Ice cream?
00:09:26Cultural pursuit?
00:09:28I gotta have you, Johnny.
00:09:30The TV coverage.
00:09:32The TV, every single Saturday.
00:09:34No, no, no.
00:09:36I got what you want.
00:09:38If you get right in there and start an offense, boy,
00:09:40you can start right away, right away.
00:09:42If that's what you want to do, play football, right, boy?
00:09:54Hold on. Smurfs.
00:09:56Smurf patrol.
00:09:58Hi. Thank you.
00:10:00Uh, my feet. Watch the toes.
00:10:02Okay. Don't I know your mom?
00:10:04What's it like being king of the 12-year-olds?
00:10:06Georgia. What?
00:10:08Say that again? What's it like being king of the 12-year-olds?
00:10:10Let me tell you something.
00:10:12These girls are gonna be beautiful, grown women
00:10:14in about two minutes. You shouldn't really say that.
00:10:16Freeze! Move away from my daughter, Walker.
00:10:18You tell me you're still pissed off
00:10:20because I brought you home a day late.
00:10:22Don't tell me that.
00:10:24Is that what happened?
00:10:26Huh? Huh?
00:10:28What? What was it?
00:10:30You can't really cover those up at all.
00:10:34What?
00:10:36Let's give him one.
00:10:42Get your mouth off her, Walker.
00:10:44Let's go, Georgia.
00:10:46Now!
00:10:52I'll see you later.
00:10:54Very good.
00:11:00Can't say anything but thank you.
00:11:12Excuse me.
00:11:14I'm sorry. I can't talk right now.
00:11:16Watch the jacket, please.
00:11:18We'll talk later. Okay.
00:11:20Less of the lies.
00:11:22More of the pride.
00:11:24From the black corner.
00:11:26Back off!
00:11:30You think these recruiters
00:11:32would all want you as much if
00:11:34they knew you're afraid of the dark?
00:11:36I'm not afraid of the dark.
00:11:38Well, I mean, it's okay. I'm not gonna spill the beans
00:11:40that you sleep with a nightlight.
00:11:42I don't need a nightlight.
00:11:44Come on. Yes, you do.
00:11:46It's okay. You're a punk. Accept it.
00:11:48All right, I accept it.
00:11:50So what?
00:11:52So?
00:11:54Yeah, hit me again.
00:11:56Ow.
00:11:58Right here.
00:12:02I feel good now.
00:12:04Leo, it's time you and me
00:12:06moved on to big time, pal.
00:12:08Big time scholarships.
00:12:10Big time contacts.
00:12:12Big deals.
00:12:14UCC is the place for you.
00:12:16Did I ever tell you about Cochise's wife?
00:12:18No. UCC only has a set of chihuahuas.
00:12:20Can someone sneak in
00:12:22around the corner?
00:12:24Could that someone
00:12:26be my neighbor?
00:12:30There's a tugboat
00:12:32down by the river,
00:12:34don't you know?
00:12:36Well, since I've seen that there,
00:12:38just a-droopin' all down.
00:12:42You're getting really good, Wayne.
00:12:44I just love your singing.
00:12:46Thank you, baby.
00:12:48You know, I was reading at the market today
00:12:50that we all come from another world,
00:12:52and we choose, in that world,
00:12:54who we want to be in this world,
00:12:56and we're all connected
00:12:58by a common cosmic thread.
00:13:00That's right, honey, that's true.
00:13:02What time are you going to work?
00:13:04After I make dinner for you and clean up.
00:13:06Do you realize that we're living
00:13:08nine lives simultaneously?
00:13:10Of course.
00:13:12Listen, sweet cake.
00:13:14Yes?
00:13:16On your way back from work,
00:13:18why don't you, uh, pick up my yellow suit
00:13:20for the cleaners?
00:13:22Okay, no problem.
00:13:24It's near that bakery that makes
00:13:26that black mundle bread you love so much.
00:13:38Hello, Coach Isler's house?
00:13:40Is he in?
00:13:42I think so.
00:13:44May I?
00:13:46Just follow the sound of the music.
00:13:58Chancellor, how are you?
00:14:00Good to see you again, sir.
00:14:02How about that game today, huh?
00:14:04Nice. Walker was everything you said he was.
00:14:06Yes.
00:14:08What do I do to get him to go to Pyrmont?
00:14:10I just want you to sit down and relax, enjoy my home.
00:14:12You're going to have dinner with us, aren't you?
00:14:14I've got enough salmon patties waiting.
00:14:18What the heck?
00:14:20Break out the fish sticks, honey.
00:14:22Oh, okay.
00:14:24Darling, some of that
00:14:26sparkling fruit wine.
00:14:28Have a seat, please, Chancellor.
00:14:30Look, Coach,
00:14:32I didn't get to become president
00:14:34of Pyrmont University by mincing words.
00:14:36My backers are getting impatient.
00:14:38They want success this year.
00:14:40They want to win.
00:14:42I want Walker.
00:14:44I'm the key to Walker, obviously.
00:14:46Obviously you are.
00:14:48What is it you want?
00:14:50Name your price.
00:14:52I want to be the new head coach
00:14:54at Pyrmont University. Is that all?
00:14:56No, I want a five-year no-cut contract,
00:14:58weekly television show, membership in the country club,
00:15:00et cetera, all the usual perks.
00:15:02The main thing
00:15:04is that Walker is going to go where I tell him to go,
00:15:06or he's not going anywhere.
00:15:08That's a fact.
00:15:10You can guarantee that?
00:15:12Kid loves me.
00:15:14You know, it's...
00:15:16I'm like a father to him, really.
00:15:18This was such an asshole.
00:15:22Johnny,
00:15:24I'm having all these twisted visions lately.
00:15:28What's the lay with, honey?
00:15:30Well, I was thinking
00:15:32about developing, like, a deep personal relationship
00:15:34with a psychiatrist, you know,
00:15:36very tight, and then one day,
00:15:38just while he's complimenting me
00:15:40on all the headway progress I'm making
00:15:42in the area of my obsessive fear of torque wrenches,
00:15:44just cut him off mid-sentence
00:15:46and say, hey!
00:15:48Why am I angry at you today?
00:15:50He gets all dramatic on me
00:15:52and goes, well, I think
00:15:54that it stems from nothing.
00:15:56That's a trick question.
00:15:58I take this Ph.D. off the wall
00:16:00and beat him about the head and shoulders with it
00:16:02for about an hour, and then I whisper softly
00:16:04in his ear,
00:16:06I have to pay for my next 20 visits in advance.
00:16:18Johnny!
00:16:20Johnny, he's still on fire!
00:16:26Johnny, be all you can be.
00:16:28For $81.50 a month after taxes?
00:16:30Exactly.
00:16:32No, I don't think so. Thank you, though.
00:16:34Father, how you doing?
00:16:36Father, aren't you gonna be late for a mass or something?
00:16:38Oh, you're right. I'm sorry.
00:16:40Alabama is the bomb. Alabama's where you should be.
00:16:42Penn State is always in the top ten.
00:16:44We kicked Alabama's butt last year.
00:16:46That was one game. It's freezing in Penn State.
00:16:48It's a normal climate.
00:16:50Normal? Normal if you're a seal or an Eskimo!
00:16:52It's good to see the seasons change.
00:16:54It's good to see the seasons change!
00:17:00Leo, my school has a buddy system.
00:17:02When Johnny goes there, all of his buddies get to go there, too.
00:17:04First class.
00:17:06Boy buddies, girl buddies, everybody.
00:17:08I'm ready for college and corruption.
00:17:10My school doesn't do that, Leo.
00:17:12It just exists in your imagination.
00:17:14Well, I have a grand imagination.
00:17:16How about ten grand?
00:17:26Leo, more chicken?
00:17:28I'll just get the rest to go, please.
00:17:30Anything, Johnny, anything!
00:17:32I love you!
00:17:34Let's set a time!
00:17:36I'm free tonight!
00:17:40I can't believe the bald guy is still here.
00:17:42It's crazy out there.
00:17:44Come here, honey.
00:17:46Well, it's crazy in here, too.
00:17:48But I like it.
00:17:50My lures are selling like hotcakes.
00:17:52Especially like my walleye gibbler.
00:17:54This is exciting.
00:17:56Honey, I'm proud of you.
00:17:58I really am.
00:18:00You've worked hard for this for a long time.
00:18:02Thank you, Mom.
00:18:04You know I couldn't have done it without you.
00:18:06Yeah.
00:18:08I'm glad you know it, because it's true.
00:18:10That's why one day very soon I'm going to work hard enough
00:18:12and you're not going to have to work again, Mom.
00:18:14I don't mind working, Johnny.
00:18:16It's a decent way to make a living.
00:18:18Well, I know you don't mind.
00:18:20That's why I do.
00:18:22Where's Georgia today?
00:18:24Yeah, where is she?
00:18:26Why?
00:18:28For knowing me?
00:18:30Yes, I can understand that.
00:18:32Oh, you're popping off, Ma, huh?
00:18:34Ready for a little pee in the head, Ma?
00:18:36Will you stop?
00:18:38You want another one?
00:18:40Oh, he's going to eat alive.
00:18:42Don't you dare.
00:18:44All right, that's it.
00:18:46No dessert.
00:18:48What can I do?
00:18:50So, Ray, what did you think of the game?
00:18:52You looked goofy.
00:18:54What?
00:18:56Goofy.
00:18:58You didn't look in the mirror today, you know why?
00:19:00Because you don't have any teeth,
00:19:02so when you get some front teeth,
00:19:04then you can tell me how goofy I look.
00:19:06Until that moment comes along,
00:19:08you can't say anything, okay?
00:19:10Okay? Do you hear me?
00:19:12Say, I hear you, Johnny.
00:19:14Say, I hear you, big brother.
00:19:16Say, you are my man.
00:19:18You are my man.
00:19:20No, she just ate.
00:19:22All right, thank you.
00:19:24Once I got the right direction going, right?
00:19:26Why don't you ever eat at your house, Leo?
00:19:28Why?
00:19:30Well, I think it's basically
00:19:32because my parents hate me,
00:19:34and they've accused me of carrying
00:19:36an ammonia-filled tentacle around with me,
00:19:38which, of course, I do not.
00:19:40What is this, the funny farm?
00:19:46I can understand why they hate you.
00:19:48Johnny, my boy, you know,
00:19:50listen.
00:19:52You've got to get organized, you know.
00:19:54Now, you've had calls from Michigan,
00:19:56UCC, Pyrmont,
00:19:58and Old Tex, LSU,
00:20:00and Kansas, eh, and Cornell.
00:20:02What do you think, Mom?
00:20:04Do I call these people back?
00:20:06Well, superstar,
00:20:08you can start by clearing the table
00:20:10and helping me with the dishes.
00:20:12Nice little reality break
00:20:14from Mom there, huh? Isn't that nice?
00:20:16You're home now, son.
00:20:18Listen, I'm a hooker,
00:20:20and you are...
00:20:22not gonna catch a single monkfish
00:20:24if you had to.
00:20:26See you later. Have a ball.
00:20:28A fish.
00:20:48Fish.
00:20:54Fish.
00:21:08Fish.
00:21:18Fish.
00:21:34Family's really nice.
00:21:36Your mom's a terrible cook.
00:21:42Where are we going now?
00:21:44Georgia's.
00:21:46I'm on ground again.
00:21:48All right.
00:21:58Freeze, boy.
00:22:00Up.
00:22:02See?
00:22:04There's got to be a rottweiler.
00:22:06There's no mistaking this.
00:22:08That's no chihuahua.
00:22:12I thought it pertained to you.
00:22:14It must be embarrassing.
00:22:16She digs me.
00:22:18Her father's the one I have problems with.
00:22:20She'll come around.
00:22:22Mrs. Elkins.
00:22:24Good evening.
00:22:26Is Georgia home?
00:22:28Yes.
00:22:30And that's where she's going to stay.
00:22:34I just felt the love beam.
00:22:36She loves me.
00:22:44Freeze, dirtbags!
00:22:46I don't want you sniffing around my daughter, walker.
00:22:48What's shaking, chief?
00:22:50Chief, how the hell is patrol?
00:22:52You're in big trouble, walker.
00:22:54Chief, you can't keep me away from your daughter.
00:22:56I'm going to keep you away from her forever.
00:22:58How are you going to do that, chief?
00:23:00We're going to settle this thing once and for all.
00:23:02I can't just beat the shit out of you.
00:23:04So we're going to have us a little game of football.
00:23:06And I'm going to hurt you.
00:23:08I'm going to play with these two men right here.
00:23:10And I'm going to hurt you.
00:23:12I'm going to play with these two men right here.
00:23:14These men right here?
00:23:16Okay, hold on.
00:23:18Let me get a head count for a second here.
00:23:20You got one, two, three, four.
00:23:22Oh, that's a little unfair, isn't it, chief?
00:23:24Well, then you can play with the big cheese.
00:23:26Oh, no, I like it.
00:23:28Chief, one last thing.
00:23:30Once we kick your butt, Georgia's mine.
00:23:32Well, then, just to make it fair,
00:23:34you're going to get to play with one hand behind your back.
00:23:36Isn't that cute?
00:23:38Chief, you don't play with one hand, do you?
00:23:43Let's bless the ball.
00:23:45Ah, a little pooper for the troopers.
00:23:47Ah, a little pooper for the troopers.
00:24:00Rotten little pissheads.
00:24:08Cheerleaders?
00:24:10Cheerleaders?
00:24:12Cheerleaders?
00:24:16I got him, I got him!
00:24:18Woo-hoo!
00:24:34Guess what, trooper trooper?
00:24:36That's what!
00:24:40That's what!
00:24:46All right, guys, get to my game, please.
00:24:53Nice catch, pooper.
00:24:58Here he is!
00:25:00Get the ball!
00:25:02Oh, my God!
00:25:05Hut!
00:25:09Hey, fat man, get out of here!
00:25:11I'm out of here.
00:25:13I'm out of here.
00:25:15I'm out of here.
00:25:17I'm out of here.
00:25:19I'm out of here.
00:25:21Look at him go. Look at the cheese.
00:25:23Wait a second. That's a $20 ball.
00:25:25It's game time.
00:25:27Let's get him.
00:25:35It started last weekend
00:25:40At the alehouse
00:25:421038, this movie is shit.
00:25:45Girl, I saw your beaver flash
00:25:49I'll never be the same
00:25:54Oh, no
00:25:58You gave me a soul kiss
00:26:05Boy, it sure was grand
00:26:10Johnny, now that I'm homeless,
00:26:13What do you plan to do with me?
00:26:15I'm gonna love you.
00:26:18And I'm gonna marry you.
00:26:21And that should take care of about 60 years.
00:26:26Is that a threat or a promise?
00:26:28That's a threat.
00:26:31I'm getting old, though.
00:26:33Yeah, real old, Johnny.
00:26:35I'm serious.
00:26:37Next thing you know, I'll be on the beach,
00:26:40With that big belly,
00:26:42Sporting a bikini underwear,
00:26:44Just walking.
00:26:47Then comes gray hair.
00:26:50Comes a year of hair coming out of my ears.
00:26:53Then comes white hair.
00:26:54Then comes no hair.
00:26:55Then comes no teeth.
00:26:57Then, boom, you're 70 years old.
00:27:00Or 80.
00:27:03Nature.
00:27:05I'll be there.
00:27:19You kids having a good time?
00:27:23Hey, john.
00:27:25Johnny ball game.
00:27:27All right.
00:27:28Now, I don't mean to interrupt you.
00:27:30I just want you to know, john,
00:27:32There's a lot of phony hype with all these schools.
00:27:35Now, I know you better than you know yourself.
00:27:37And right now,
00:27:39The best situation for you is pyrmo.
00:27:41Oh, yeah, coach?
00:27:43Really?
00:27:44Yeah.
00:27:45Can I tell them you'll come down for a visit this weekend?
00:27:48Coach.
00:27:50You'd be my horse if you never even ran a race.
00:27:54Okay?
00:27:55I'll be there.
00:27:56Johnny ball game.
00:27:58Okay.
00:27:59I'll have them send you a plane ticket.
00:28:01Yeah.
00:28:02You know I've always been fond of you, kid.
00:28:05Thank you, coach.
00:28:06I'm fond of your pacer.
00:28:09I'm most fond of that.
00:28:11Hey, you could have one of these someday.
00:28:14Don't tease me, coach.
00:28:18Last damn school I've ever visited in my life.
00:28:21Johnny, why are you visiting all these schools?
00:28:25I thought we planned to go to state.
00:28:29To be together.
00:28:31I can't just ignore the opportunity to go see schools,
00:28:35See the country.
00:28:38You wouldn't want that.
00:28:41Mm-mm.
00:28:42Come on.
00:28:44If you get that look on your face, let me get a kiss, please.
00:28:47Like you get a georgia fish kiss.
00:28:50Come get it.
00:28:54Come get it?
00:28:57Come on.
00:29:00Ooh.
00:29:05What's the way to travel, ain't it, soldier?
00:29:08You see the country here, first-class bucket seats.
00:29:13Price is right, too, huh?
00:29:16Yeah.
00:29:17You know what?
00:29:18Let's go.
00:29:19Let's go.
00:29:20Let's go.
00:29:21Let's go.
00:29:22Let's go.
00:29:23Let's go.
00:29:24Let's go.
00:29:25Let's go.
00:29:26Let's go.
00:29:27Let's go.
00:29:28Let's go.
00:29:29Let's go.
00:29:30Let's go.
00:29:31Let's go.
00:29:32Price is right, too, huh?
00:29:37What are you, a private?
00:29:39Hey, I'm trying to eat.
00:29:41Do you mind?
00:29:42Hey, this is a family bus here.
00:29:45Hey, slim.
00:29:46Hey, I'm trying to eat.
00:29:47Hey, slim.
00:29:48Hey, knock it off, will you?
00:30:03I wonder if that's the old Tex plane.
00:30:05Have you seen a lot of commercial airlines
00:30:07that look like a flying horny toad?
00:30:09No.
00:30:20Get off that.
00:30:21No.
00:30:22Please.
00:30:27Hi, how y'all doing?
00:30:28How you doing?
00:30:29Good to see you.
00:30:30My name's Tex Wade.
00:30:31I'm going to be your host for the weekend.
00:30:33I'm going to make sure you get everything you want
00:30:35from your visit to old Tex.
00:30:37Well, thank you, Tex.
00:30:39You got a lot of style, Tex.
00:30:40How about a little something to blur your vision, Johnny?
00:30:44No thanks, Tex.
00:30:45Well, then hop in.
00:30:46OK.
00:30:47Bye, Georgia.
00:30:48Johnny, be good.
00:30:54Come on in, Tex.
00:30:57Georgia, can you see his boots?
00:31:01See you, Georgia.
00:31:04Ah!
00:31:05Let's get him, Tex.
00:31:06Get him.
00:31:07Ah!
00:31:08Damn.
00:31:21Where is that punk?
00:31:23Excuse me?
00:31:25I'm not talking to you, lady.
00:31:27What a jerk.
00:31:32I think his time's more valuable than mine, I guess.
00:31:37Probably stroking his muskrat somewhere.
00:31:44Sit down, coach.
00:31:45Oh, thank you.
00:31:49You're late.
00:31:51Where's the kid?
00:31:52Ah.
00:31:53They sprung a math test on him.
00:31:55Can you believe that?
00:31:56Now, he'll be flying down a little later.
00:31:58Actually, I should give him a little call.
00:32:00Use the phone back there, please.
00:32:03Yeah.
00:32:04Wish you'd have seen that airport.
00:32:05What a madhouse.
00:32:08It's a beautiful office, Chancellor.
00:32:11Not too shabby.
00:32:14John, how are you?
00:32:17What's the matter?
00:32:18Oh, that's terrible.
00:32:20Listen, don't worry about a thing.
00:32:22We'll just reschedule the meeting, OK?
00:32:24I know.
00:32:25I know you want to come here with me.
00:32:27It's all right.
00:32:28You haven't hurt your chances.
00:32:30Now, look, as soon as I get off the airplane,
00:32:32I'm coming right over to see you.
00:32:34All right.
00:32:35I love you, too, son.
00:32:36Bye-bye.
00:32:39He's a great kid.
00:32:40Hi.
00:32:41You having fun?
00:32:42Oh, Jack, I'm enjoying myself.
00:32:43I just thought I'd take a little break.
00:32:44Go on.
00:32:45Be with your lovely people, OK?
00:32:46Let's go on a little thôi.
00:32:47It's all right, son.
00:32:48I just finished a little talk.
00:32:49I'm going to be there with you.
00:32:50I'll stop by脱.
00:32:51See you around, Jack.
00:32:52I'll be calling you.
00:32:53Goodbye, John.
00:32:54Goodbye.
00:32:55Goodbye.
00:32:57Bye-bye.
00:32:58Bye-bye.
00:33:00I really love you.
00:33:01Don't forget me, too.
00:33:02Oh, you know, I love you, Pat.
00:33:03I love you.
00:33:04I love you.
00:33:05I love you.
00:33:06I like you.
00:33:07I like you.
00:33:08I want you to feel right at home, like family.
00:33:12Like this was your very own ranch.
00:33:15Look, this comes straight from my heart, Johnny.
00:33:18Everybody here loves you.
00:33:20See these long-stemmed American beauties here?
00:33:22They're all for you. They're yours.
00:33:24That grass is yours. This whole shindig is yours.
00:33:26Them trees are yours. Hell, that lake is yours.
00:33:29Is this part of the campus, Tex?
00:33:31You can call it part of the campus, Johnny.
00:33:33Hell, you come to Old Tex, you can call it anything you want.
00:33:36I love Old Tex.
00:33:37Margarita, Mr. Wade?
00:33:39Don't mind if we do, darling. Here you go.
00:33:41I'll have one of these.
00:33:43Shit, everybody drinks margaritas at Old Tex.
00:33:47Feisty little filly, ain't she?
00:33:49My wife says they're medicinal.
00:33:51All right, let's start it. He's out of the chute.
00:33:54Get back there! Leave me!
00:33:56Leave me! What's shaking? Come on, break yourself loose here.
00:33:59Say hi to Johnny Walker. Johnny, captain of the team Bad Breath Banister.
00:34:03Tough duty, B.B. That boy's breath will gag a maggot.
00:34:06I know it, Tex, but he's got to be hot.
00:34:08Hi, ladies and gents.
00:34:11Can I have your attention for one minute?
00:34:14I want to introduce to you
00:34:17five of the most sought-after football players
00:34:20in the entire country.
00:34:23Boys, come on down. Step up here.
00:34:26Come on.
00:34:29We want you! We want you!
00:34:32We want you! We want you!
00:34:35And you're gonna get them. This here is Flick Weaver,
00:34:38Pete Andropolis, Benny Fay,
00:34:41and that humped-to-Mexican Samoan man-flesh,
00:34:44Jose Mambuco,
00:34:47and last but not least, Johnny Rock and R. Walker.
00:34:51We want you! We want you!
00:34:54Hail on to old Tex
00:34:57Let the spirit lead
00:35:01Hail on to old Tex
00:35:04On to victory
00:35:08Our minds and hearts are with you
00:35:12With a hollow heart we praise
00:35:16Hail on to old Tex
00:35:20On to victory
00:35:33On to victory
00:35:41Old Tex is great.
00:35:43They can't come close to the money.
00:35:46Man, we need that junk bond bullshit.
00:35:48I'm splitting. Where you going?
00:35:51I'm going to get some Chinese.
00:35:53Ain't you full yet, brother?
00:35:55I'm not talking about food.
00:35:57I told Tex I'd only come to visit
00:35:59if he got me two Chinese girls.
00:36:01Yo, Flick!
00:36:03We're gonna show you a real good time.
00:36:09How you doing? I'm glad to see you.
00:36:11Ralph, what's up with you, man?
00:36:13How's it feeling, man?
00:36:15Stocks you down, huh?
00:36:17How's your wife, man?
00:36:19All fair. I need a partner.
00:36:21Still picking pockets, man?
00:36:23Yeah.
00:36:25She's a lovely woman
00:36:28And she makes you smile
00:36:31I'm here to tell you that it is my responsibility
00:36:34to welcome you to the fold of old Tex.
00:36:37Sort of like a queen bee with a hive.
00:36:41And I never miss.
00:36:43I got me a player in every class.
00:36:49In order to prepare you for tonight's experience,
00:36:52we need to do a little hot-heart exercise.
00:36:55That's gonna send you some energy.
00:36:58Do you feel it? Do you feel it?
00:37:01I feel it. I feel it.
00:37:03Do you feel heat? I feel heat.
00:37:05Okay, okay. I feel it, too.
00:37:08Okay, now, how'd you like to go visit our campus?
00:37:12Where the hell is our campus, by the way?
00:37:15Well, I'm glad you asked,
00:37:17because I'm gonna take you there right now.
00:37:20Thank you, ma'am.
00:37:22Well, let us grab our drinks and our moves.
00:37:26Numero uno.
00:37:28I am gonna show you, you lucky boy,
00:37:31why they call us the horny toads.
00:37:34Why, darling, this is far more than a football field.
00:37:38Armadillo.
00:37:40We have a very fine medical program
00:37:42in which many operators have come out successful.
00:37:45Is that right?
00:37:46Well, you understand the word...
00:37:48Not at all.
00:37:49Was that your hand?
00:37:50That was yours.
00:37:51Oh, well, that was my hand, darling.
00:37:53I thought it was a pillow,
00:37:55but I could see I was mistaken.
00:37:57Oh, that's okay.
00:37:59And as you can see, we have a very fine library.
00:38:02Right.
00:38:03Well, we'll see the library next.
00:38:08Excuse me.
00:38:15Listen, if you're not interested in her,
00:38:18I may know something a little more your speed.
00:38:26Now, darling,
00:38:28I thought this would be a more intimate place to dine.
00:38:33A little more spacious.
00:38:35I can't believe the size of the campus.
00:38:37It's huge.
00:38:38Well, you better...
00:38:39They're all gonna be saying it.
00:38:41Go, Johnny, go.
00:38:42In the fall, 80,000 people will be cheering you on, darling.
00:38:46Johnny Walker!
00:38:48And I can guarantee you something, sweetheart.
00:38:51It will be nothing like the performance I am about to give.
00:38:56Oh, no.
00:38:58No, no, no.
00:39:00No.
00:39:01Yes.
00:39:02Oh, ouch.
00:39:03Oh, boink.
00:39:04Thank you so much.
00:39:06As a matter of fact, I should start abusing that term.
00:39:10Because it would get me in and out of more situations
00:39:13with smooth sincerity.
00:39:16Absolutely the best thing I could say is thank you right now.
00:39:20Thank you and, well, thank you.
00:39:23Darling, you talk too much.
00:39:25Wait a minute. No, thank you.
00:39:26See, I'm not the type of guy who thinks...
00:39:28Joe Bob!
00:39:29Joe!
00:39:30Tell them about the old Tex baby dolls
00:39:33and how they like to sneak in the locker room at halftime.
00:39:36Lordy mercy, boys.
00:39:38We spend $20,000 a month on these pretty little fillies
00:39:41just for the football program alone.
00:39:44You're going to like it here.
00:39:46Please stop. Stop.
00:39:48Thank you very much.
00:39:49Look, thank you enough.
00:39:51You're making this hard enough.
00:39:53Please, stop.
00:39:55Jose, come on down here, boy.
00:39:57I want to show you your picture.
00:39:59Speaking of luxury, if my eyes don't deceive me,
00:40:02that's a boy getting his knob polished
00:40:04right there on the 50-yard line.
00:40:06Say what?
00:40:07Guys, I got to go.
00:40:09Watch out.
00:40:10I got a little business.
00:40:12Don't leave.
00:40:13Don't leave.
00:40:14Stop. Stop.
00:40:15Let me go.
00:40:16Oh, I got to put this up on the scoreboard,
00:40:18see it a little clearer.
00:40:28My God, I'll be dipped in dog shit.
00:40:31Hey, Walker.
00:40:32What the shit?
00:40:34That's my wife.
00:40:36Tim, I'm not your wife.
00:40:37Who said that?
00:40:38Wait a minute.
00:40:39Please, you have a husband.
00:40:40I'm getting out of here now.
00:40:41This is it, and I'm out.
00:40:42And put those tits away.
00:40:43This was no med school.
00:40:44This was not a library.
00:40:46I have to go.
00:40:47Goodbye.
00:40:48Get back here.
00:40:50Come back here, you little boy.
00:40:52I got to go.
00:40:53Come back here.
00:40:54Come back here.
00:40:55I'm going to make you feel good.
00:41:02Get in this car, boy.
00:41:04Let's go.
00:41:05Come on, let's go.
00:41:06Let's go.
00:41:07Get in.
00:41:08Whoo.
00:41:09We're here.
00:41:10Hey, hey, hey.
00:41:11Hey, don't scratch the plane.
00:41:12Take it off my feet.
00:41:13Don't do that.
00:41:14Don't do that.
00:41:15Get in.
00:41:16Come on.
00:41:17Whoo-hoo.
00:41:23Oh, so this is a medical school.
00:41:27Oh, yeah.
00:41:43Hey, boys, come on down here.
00:41:45Got the entire front row for y'all.
00:41:57Oh, my gosh.
00:41:59Just look at that.
00:42:00It's grand.
00:42:01We're all in it.
00:42:02Let's go.
00:42:03No.
00:42:04No.
00:42:05No.
00:42:06No.
00:42:07No.
00:42:08No.
00:42:10No.
00:42:11No.
00:42:12No.
00:42:13No.
00:42:14No.
00:42:15No.
00:42:16No.
00:42:17No.
00:42:18No.
00:42:19No.
00:42:20No.
00:42:21No.
00:42:22No.
00:42:23No.
00:42:24You know that.
00:42:27I've been pretty sick.
00:42:31And you know that.
00:42:33Some nice little tech let us use his car.
00:42:35God damn, and it was a nice help to give him his wife.
00:42:39You know I've got a...
00:42:41Hey, do you want some beer, yo?
00:42:42Yes sir, beer.
00:42:43Hey.
00:42:45I'll give you ten for an hour, maybe two.
00:42:48How you doing?
00:42:49Doing good, how you doing?
00:42:51Good, good.
00:42:52Uh, you, uh, going to play football at Old Tex?
00:42:56Oh, I don't know yet.
00:42:58You know, I used to be a football player.
00:43:01They said I would've been All-American
00:43:03if I hadn't hurt my leg.
00:43:07What happened?
00:43:09Did you go to Old Tex?
00:43:11I was going to, but I really got the chance.
00:43:16After they took my scholarship away, I had to quit school.
00:43:19But Old Tex took care of me, got me this job.
00:43:27I ain't complaining.
00:43:28Yeah!
00:43:29Yeah!
00:43:29Yeah!
00:43:30Yeah!
00:43:46What's this stuff, man?
00:43:49Come on.
00:43:49Yeah!
00:43:50Whee!
00:43:51Yee-hoo!
00:43:52What is it?
00:43:53Yeah!
00:43:57It's Texas sushi, boy.
00:43:59Woo!
00:44:00Get you, man.
00:44:04Woo!
00:44:05Woo!
00:44:06Come on, let's get out of here.
00:44:07Woo!
00:44:08Let's do it!
00:44:09Yeah!
00:44:10Woo-hoo-hoo!
00:44:10Woo!
00:44:20Tell me what you're gonna do!
00:44:22I'm gonna kill you!
00:44:28Hurry up!
00:44:29Johnny!
00:44:30Johnny!
00:44:31Come on, man.
00:44:32I need silence.
00:44:33I need silence.
00:44:34Take me up on that.
00:44:35I don't know.
00:44:36Come on.
00:44:37You're smarter than that, Johnny.
00:44:38I don't know.
00:44:39Until you sign your letter.
00:44:40I don't know.
00:44:41I don't know.
00:44:42Nothing else means squat.
00:44:43I don't know.
00:44:44Talk to me.
00:44:45I don't know.
00:44:47Hey.
00:44:49Hi, honey.
00:44:51How was the campus?
00:44:53The campus?
00:44:54Hi.
00:44:55Um, it was nice, Mom.
00:44:57Yeah, it was nice.
00:44:58It really was a nice campus.
00:44:59Well, you think of old Texas just a football school, right?
00:45:02And in actuality, they have the finest pre-med school
00:45:06in the country.
00:45:07Really, just a fierce.
00:45:09It was a beautiful setup.
00:45:11Yeah, it was nice.
00:45:12It really was.
00:45:13Listen, something wonderful happened while you were away.
00:45:17This fella calls up on the telephone, see?
00:45:20And he orders 10,000 wall-eyed gibblers.
00:45:23Yeah.
00:45:24Apparently, he gives them away on his late-night television show,
00:45:27like those Vegematics or those spiffy little fishing rods
00:45:30that turn into can openers.
00:45:33We could make a small fortune on this deal, you know?
00:45:37That's excellent, Grant.
00:45:39Yeah.
00:45:40Yeah, so he called, huh?
00:45:41The fella says so long as they sell,
00:45:44the orders will just keep coming in.
00:45:47You know, we could maybe buy a larger house.
00:45:50That'll really catch a lot of fish.
00:45:52Hi, Johnny.
00:45:53Hey, Monica.
00:45:54You bruised those tomatoes now.
00:46:00You folks tried those biscuits?
00:46:01They're delicious.
00:46:02What did he say?
00:46:03Pick of school yet, Johnny?
00:46:05Baby love.
00:46:07Hey.
00:46:09How was it?
00:46:10It was cool.
00:46:11It was good.
00:46:13Had a good time?
00:46:15Yeah.
00:46:17How were the girls?
00:46:18Hmm?
00:46:19The girls.
00:46:21How were the girls?
00:46:24Well, they were, um, very short, very fat,
00:46:32and kind of weird-looking.
00:46:34What was her name?
00:46:35Huh?
00:46:36What was her name?
00:46:38The woman I had dinner with was Luanda.
00:46:40Yeah, I was Tex's wife.
00:46:42Luanda?
00:46:43Very old chick, very fat woman, and very funny-looking.
00:46:47She took me to dinner, and, you know,
00:46:50what do you think of Texas?
00:46:52And, you know, I love it.
00:46:54You know, a lot of small talk.
00:46:56And, um, yeah, I didn't, you know, I didn't do anything.
00:47:00No one touched her.
00:47:02What are you thinking about?
00:47:06I think you're an asshole.
00:47:22This boy-girl shit hurts, man.
00:47:25Oh, no, enough.
00:47:27This boy-girl shit hurts, man.
00:47:30Oh, no, Pete, none of that.
00:47:33It's Bob's product, it's a payoff.
00:47:35No self-respecting fish would go near her while I give her.
00:47:38Hey, Leo, read my lips.
00:47:40Joe Bob promised my grandfather
00:47:42he'd buy 10,000 of the things, okay?
00:47:44Yeah, you're confused, you're repeating yourself.
00:47:47Maybe you're wrong.
00:47:49I couldn't break his heart like that,
00:47:51did you understand?
00:47:53Well, can't commit to old Tex.
00:47:55Tell you something, Leo, I had such a groove in Texas,
00:47:57I vomited margaritas the whole way home.
00:47:59It was beautiful, I'm telling you.
00:48:01You'll spew forth the drink of every school you visit.
00:48:04I like that, I'll keep it in mind.
00:48:06Give me a hand.
00:48:07Hey, howdy, chief!
00:48:08Dirtbags!
00:48:10UCC, UCC, UCC.
00:48:15What's shaking, coach?
00:48:17I didn't know you'd show.
00:48:19Coach, how do you feel?
00:48:21John, you promised me
00:48:23you weren't going to visit Pyrmont.
00:48:25He's not going to Pyrmont.
00:48:27You get it? Got it?
00:48:29Goose yourself.
00:48:31If I want any shit out of you, Leo,
00:48:33I'll squeeze your head.
00:48:38You better listen to me, son.
00:48:41You're on the verge of destroying your entire career.
00:48:44I'm not going to let it happen.
00:48:47I'm going to do whatever it takes
00:48:49to make sure you do the right thing.
00:48:54If you keep playing games with me,
00:48:56you're going to end up waiting on tables with this guy.
00:48:59That was cold-blooded, coach.
00:49:01Coach, where's your shoes?
00:49:03I got those shoes, coach.
00:49:05Are you sure Tom won't want to order more of my lures?
00:49:09We haven't sold one in three years.
00:49:13Well, Harvey, you tell him
00:49:15that a big deal like this
00:49:17is going to happen to him.
00:49:19We haven't sold one in three years.
00:49:22Well, Harvey, you tell him
00:49:24that a big shot down in Texas
00:49:26just ordered 10,000 of them.
00:49:28Reckon the fish in that state
00:49:30are going to be safe for a while.
00:49:50Grandpa Walker, have a word with you?
00:49:53Sure, coach. Sit down.
00:49:55That's bad news.
00:49:57You know Tom, Norman.
00:49:59He owns this shop, a fishing buddy.
00:50:01What's happened?
00:50:03Apparently, he's very connected
00:50:05with some of the alumni from Pyrmont.
00:50:07Tom tells me that if Johnny doesn't go to Pyrmont,
00:50:10he's going to have to cut off your credit here.
00:50:13Hey, I hear you're flunking English.
00:50:15Ouch!
00:50:17John, you need that English, son.
00:50:26You did your term paper
00:50:28on the American hardware store, huh?
00:50:30Maybe you deserve that ad.
00:50:32I don't want to hear anything about it.
00:50:34It's a very legitimate topic.
00:50:36Yes, it is, and I must read it.
00:50:38I know you wanted to.
00:50:40So, Leo, I think you know why we're here today.
00:50:43I think you do.
00:50:45I've been messing with my grandfather.
00:50:48I've been messing with my little brother,
00:50:50my little sister.
00:50:53I've been messing with my mom, Leo.
00:50:55I've been talking to her,
00:50:57messing with her.
00:50:59And now,
00:51:01we're going to mess with him, Leo.
00:51:03Are you with me?
00:51:05No!
00:51:07I'm going to ruin his life, man.
00:51:09I'm going to ruin it good.
00:51:11I'm going to do the wrong thing
00:51:13like I thought I could.
00:51:15Oh, Leo, vengeance is mine.
00:51:17You made all the calls, didn't you, my friend?
00:51:19All comes together now.
00:51:21I thought I wouldn't wait
00:51:23to see these chihuahuas.
00:51:25But, but, but...
00:51:27Panicky boy.
00:51:29John, I'm glad you boys came by.
00:51:31Thanks.
00:51:33The wife has a Tupperware party,
00:51:35but we can talk in the den if you like.
00:51:37I'd appreciate that.
00:51:39Come on right in, please.
00:51:41It has green.
00:51:43It has blue.
00:51:45It has, um, purple.
00:51:47Is that purple tea?
00:51:49You boys have met my children before,
00:51:51Sugar and Honey.
00:51:53Coach, I've been giving a lot of thought
00:51:55to what you told me about Pierremont.
00:51:57I really have.
00:51:59Except I'm having a little problem
00:52:01with my English grade.
00:52:03Really?
00:52:05Yeah, I thought you could help.
00:52:07I might be able to help you out with that.
00:52:09Oops.
00:52:11Thanks.
00:52:13Stick with me, Johnny.
00:52:15Don't get up, pumpkin.
00:52:17Keep selling your cookies.
00:52:19Pizza delivery for Hitler.
00:52:21Hitler?
00:52:23Hissler.
00:52:25Where are you going?
00:52:27Wait a minute, fellas.
00:52:29I didn't order any pizza.
00:52:31It'll be $283.
00:52:33I didn't order any pizza.
00:52:35You order pizza, we bring you pizza.
00:52:37What are you doing to pizza?
00:52:43What are you doing?
00:52:45Can't you take a joke, mister?
00:52:51Honey, I'm coming.
00:52:53Can I have the rest of the pizza?
00:53:03It's for me?
00:53:05It's for nobody. Get out of here now.
00:53:15Wait a minute. Where are you going?
00:53:17I'm from DOA Exterminator.
00:53:19Here you got a problem with ropes.
00:53:21I got no rope.
00:53:23I'm going to take care of my own rope.
00:53:31Coach, we're even now.
00:53:33Johnny, turn this thing off.
00:53:35Come on.
00:54:03Come on.
00:54:19Hey, buddy.
00:54:29Come on.
00:54:33Yeah.
00:54:39Definitely want to see it.
00:54:41Fast like Homer Jones. Remember Homer?
00:54:43Yeah, yeah.
00:54:45Tackled a student.
00:54:4795 average. That's great.
00:54:49Let's have dinner next Tuesday.
00:54:51I got to go. Next Tuesday, okay?
00:54:53I really have to go. Bye-bye.
00:54:55Let me see you, Coach.
00:54:57How do you feel?
00:54:59Would you mind removing your feet
00:55:01from my desk, please?
00:55:05So I came here to do some business
00:55:07with you today, sir.
00:55:09I just got back from Ultex.
00:55:11They're ready to cut a very sweet
00:55:13nuclear deal with me,
00:55:15except the thing of it is,
00:55:17I want to play here.
00:55:19I want to come to State.
00:55:21Johnny, we don't give out deals here.
00:55:23What?
00:55:25We give the usual scholarship,
00:55:27room and board,
00:55:29a good education.
00:55:31Everyone has to actually
00:55:33go to class here.
00:55:35And I like to believe that we offer
00:55:37a good background in football.
00:55:39You know, we have a lot of players
00:55:41going to pro ball.
00:55:43That's nice, Coach, but, uh,
00:55:45you're losing the top high school
00:55:47athletes every year for a reason.
00:55:49What's that?
00:55:53Well, you're not giving them anything.
00:55:55You got to show them something.
00:55:57Get something with cash,
00:55:59cars, apartments, money.
00:56:01Hookups, you know what I mean?
00:56:03We're looking for benefits
00:56:05these days, Coach.
00:56:07Look, Johnny, I like you.
00:56:09So I'm not gonna BS you.
00:56:11You're a good athlete.
00:56:13You have a lot of talent
00:56:15and a lot of energy.
00:56:17So I'm warning you.
00:56:19You're getting into something
00:56:21that you don't understand.
00:56:23See, when word goes out that a kid
00:56:25like yourself is looking for a deal,
00:56:27well, believe me,
00:56:29that deal's gonna have to be a lot stronger
00:56:31than that kid ever bargained for.
00:56:33Be careful.
00:56:35Keep clean with fire.
00:56:55♪
00:57:07Are you crazy?
00:57:09My father
00:57:11sleeps with his gun.
00:57:15I heard you visited State.
00:57:21Does this mean the lobotomy's worn off?
00:57:26Well,
00:57:28since you're not going to speak,
00:57:30you will rub my feet.
00:57:36I mean, far be it for me
00:57:38to ask you to apologize
00:57:40when you have behaved
00:57:42like a complete son of a bitch,
00:57:44but, um...
00:57:56Oh.
00:58:08Flowers that fester
00:58:10smell far worse than weeds.
00:58:13That means
00:58:15you stink.
00:58:20But it was sweet.
00:58:22I guess I am still sweet on you.
00:58:25I'll cut it in ten minutes.
00:58:27You're a bombshell.
00:58:37Go to the text.
00:58:39No, I'm not!
00:58:41Go to the text!
00:58:43Go to the text!
00:58:45Go!
00:58:47Go!
00:58:49Go!
00:58:52No real shots!
00:58:59You wouldn't really use that.
00:59:01Yes, I would.
00:59:05Leo.
00:59:07What?
00:59:09What do you really want out of life, huh?
00:59:12I want Johnny Walker to go to California.
00:59:18All right, I'll go.
00:59:20Really? Yeah.
00:59:22Cool.
00:59:50Come on.
01:00:05Hey, how you doing, Johnny?
01:00:07Lou Landers, ICA.
01:00:09It's good to see you. Welcome to California.
01:00:11We got a fine time plan for you, buddy.
01:00:13Listen, Lou. I'm here to meet the money man.
01:00:15I'm here on business, not pleasure.
01:00:17Well, I am the money man, Johnny.
01:00:19I'm gonna take you to meet the best quarterback in the country a close personal friend of mine. Give me five John never touch
01:00:44Jim McMahon wears adidas
01:00:49I
01:00:58Either I wear adidas or I wear nothing
01:01:03Almost nothing
01:01:12Don't know how you do it Jimmy every time back to the golf course again rest of the day
01:01:19Hey, thanks a lot, man
01:01:24Jimmy how you doing? Listen, I want you to meet Johnny Walker
01:01:28Hey, don't I
01:01:30Glad to see you're coming to UCC. Well, I really mean in my mind yet, but uh
01:01:35Damn glad to meet you. Hey, Jimmy. Listen, I'm having a little party from a man tonight
01:01:39Why don't you stop by the house? Huh? Well, I'd love to but you know, I promised my wife
01:01:44I wouldn't show up at your place anymore
01:01:47Ha what a kid around I love you Jimmy. Hey, maybe next time my babe
01:01:54Hey
01:01:56You notice how he had his hair done up like that. Yeah, it's good
01:01:58It's like my like you planned it for me. I think almost you don't mean John
01:02:01Let me tell you something serious, huh? You play your cards, right? You could be the next Adidas man someday
01:02:08145 Walker receives jacket from the land
01:02:16I
01:02:18Know I may I may talk 90% of the time Johnny, but believe me I only take 10% of the action
01:02:25Hey, don't knock terrific. Well terrific
01:02:31Louie yeah, my mother's medicine counter was never like this
01:02:36Don't worry about it Johnny you're not in Ashcroft anymore. He was only the finest steroids available. Oh
01:02:41Oh
01:02:43We have only one mindset here with you see Johnny and that is that our boys are winners. Isn't that right boys?
01:02:49I love these guys like my own kids Johnny because of that I take better care of them than their own mommies do
01:02:55Isn't that right boys?
01:02:58We have the best training facilities in the country Johnny college or pro
01:03:01I mean, I'm better appreciated for the fine pieces of machinery that they are
01:03:05So it's late hey
01:03:07See play here. No, no, no, he just pisses for the players. So they pass their drug test. I think they'd a pisser
01:03:13Okay, let's get you some threads for the party
01:03:35I
01:03:43Text way to look for Johnny Walker. Oh, well, he hasn't got back from UCC yet
01:03:48The hell's he doing at UCC isn't he committed to old Tex?
01:03:53Far as I know he hasn't committed himself anywhere
01:03:57Well, I hate to be the one in lightening grandpa
01:04:00But you did not get that order for them 10,000 wall-eyed jibblers because they catch fish
01:04:08What are you saying mister you figure it out grandpa
01:04:12Oh
01:04:28It's gonna be home. Thanks everybody. Thank you
01:04:35Johnny Walker, I stand accused the social climber
01:04:42Oh
01:04:48This is a nice ride, this is all right, where'd you get it?
01:04:51Anyway, my dad got for me kind of a graduation present type thing. I thought I knew your father hated you
01:04:57Well, he used to but we're real tight now. I'm just kind of
01:05:01Woke up one morning. We had breakfast and now you know real solid things are real good. I
01:05:07Look cleaner than the Board of Health
01:05:10I look like a combo Liberace meets princess mom
01:05:19Concede there is no second
01:05:27Done
01:05:29Right now
01:05:35It's happening chief
01:05:37Where did you finally decide to go to college clown school?
01:05:41You know what you are chief. You're an officer of love not of law of love you are
01:05:53Do you dig it so look
01:05:59I
01:06:29Just lost his mind
01:06:41Thank
01:06:44Mom I gotta tell you about the school
01:06:46UCC has some pre-med program absolutely blows old techs away not even in the running anymore
01:06:51It's because you know why I'm gonna give up three times the lab time. I had it old techs
01:06:56Johnny
01:06:58What has happened to you?
01:07:00Me, I'm great. Don't I look great. I feel great mom
01:07:03I really do UCC is a football factory Johnny only about half the players there even graduate. What about your education?
01:07:11My education, please. Okay, just please step off with that. Okay, I want to tell you something
01:07:16I have a much better deal here at UCC
01:07:19They're working out a sweeter deal and they're gonna take care of everything guys
01:07:22The way old techs took care of me
01:07:25I
01:07:27Look everyone looks nauseous here now. I
01:07:30Won't explain to you. Okay, UCC has a better deal for me. They're gonna hook us up
01:07:35Mom, you'll have a bigger house. I don't want a bigger house Johnny
01:07:39I want you to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about what's right and about your family
01:07:44We're the people who love you or maybe you've been too busy leered jetting around. Remember that
01:07:49Tommy look at you purple and gold. You look ridiculous. I
01:07:55Don't know how this could have happened
01:07:59Maybe it was just too important a decision to leave up to you
01:08:13Come on Gramps, isn't this what you wanted? I
01:08:16I wanted to sell my lures not my grandson
01:08:25Grant grant
01:08:36What do you think Randy come on, what's up, I'm gonna go do my homework and take a reality break
01:08:45I
01:08:58Johnny I've had a deep revelatory vision and I think you should drop this whole ridiculous college ball thing and do what?
01:09:04Become a professional waiter. I develop a reputation as a bistros most courteous server
01:09:10Of course you're waiting for one night when the manager's relatives come in
01:09:14Seat them you serve them you wind them you dine them you read them the specials
01:09:18I take the last of their orders and then you say actually it's the fish
01:09:25First at this point, they're all jamming for the door like wild you tackle down around the ankles
01:09:29You get him down on the ground. You found him in the spine
01:09:32You say what are you trying to stick me on the gratuity? Yeah, Bob
01:09:35You see is your only move you think she is your ever most cool
01:09:42Excuse me. We're new in town and we've never had sex before
01:09:47Would you give us a hand?
01:09:51Up don't follow the dames
01:09:54Don't follow the dames
01:09:56Don't follow the dames
01:09:58I
01:10:01Started dating this Nancy girl specifically because she was a virgin
01:10:06well
01:10:08Milliseconds before initial penetration. I just shut up in bed like a reverse domino
01:10:14And I just said hey, hey, hey, there'll be none of this. What kind of boy do you think I am?
01:10:19I will hardly pop you without having met your father get him on the horn
01:10:23The things that make life worth so much. It's so worthwhile
01:10:29There are things that we have to look up at a lot of times clouds and stars
01:10:34Children by the way, where is the can I have to take an awful putrid asparagus piss
01:10:41He says down the hall to the left. Well, that just really ticked me off
01:10:45So I got up and I said just a goddamn minute that won't do
01:10:48I run right up to the family drapes and proceed to write my surname on them in urine
01:10:53Well mom bolts out of the lazy boy chair and comes over and delivers me a flurry flurry of slaps
01:10:58So I retaliate with a series of blows to her midriff and midsection that I usually reserve only for those times when I actually do
01:11:05Cigarette, I'm a winner
01:11:09So all these big money men, you know off me this this this and this, you know
01:11:13Cuz I came home wearing like heels and gold and my mother sat me down and she told me what the deal was
01:11:20Spoke her mind and I've been I've been acting crazy. I really have
01:11:31Let her go it's been an hour look I seem to have lockjaw of the arm
01:11:42Love is verb and I wish I wish I just get to it a lot more
01:11:47Cuz I feel good when I do say are we gonna have sex or not?
01:11:52This is too good to be true for who you're going to the joint forever
01:12:22What are you looking at weirdo ouch
01:12:30You gotta get out
01:12:34Look Lou Landers can get us out of here, right?
01:12:41You know
01:12:43Of course you think my dad bought me that cheap
01:12:46King blue landers bought me the cheap UCC got it for me. Try to get you to go to their school
01:12:53You set me up
01:12:56No, I didn't set you up. I just pushed you in a direction
01:13:00Trying to do the right thing for you. You set me up. He didn't tell me
01:13:03well, if I told you you would have said no and then
01:13:06Well, then I still wouldn't have been setting you up. I just you know
01:13:11Which made her stay got
01:13:17Selfish
01:13:20Me too
01:13:22Oh
01:13:30This is terrible, this is this is awful
01:13:33This is really awful. This is a serious mess
01:13:37Does the phrase bail us out immediately mean anything to you bail?
01:13:43There's your bail
01:13:45It should take it out of here right there
01:13:48All he has to do is sign with Pyrmont. You're on the street
01:13:51Otherwise boys you're looking at 20 years in the slammer with all the butt pirates
01:13:56And they say they're waiting for you up there Johnny want to give you a little hiney poke up there
01:14:01Coach I know I'm a man. Okay, my assholes exit only and
01:14:06We really didn't do anything wrong. You want sympathy Leo you look between shit and syphilis in the dictionary. I
01:14:13Don't know you're gonna like it you're gonna love it on the road gang out there with the cons cutting that grass. Oh
01:14:21All the pretty girls be going by the convertibles, you know on spring break
01:14:25Drinking beer. They'll be waving at you. Hi, Johnny, Johnny
01:14:30It's up to you John
01:14:33Put your foot in the chain gang or you can put your foot in the cash register
01:14:39You let me know
01:14:43Don't drop the soap boys
01:14:50Hello everyone, I'm Gary Dillon today throughout the country hundreds of boys will be signing their national letters of intent
01:14:56Now these letters are commitments by high school seniors to play for the college of their choice
01:15:01Today, there's no place across the country that has more media coverage and more attention than right here Ashcroft High School
01:15:07We're here at Ashcroft High School
01:15:08It's signing day now
01:15:10Johnny Walker has just arrived to sign his national letter of intent in just a very few short moments the entire country
01:15:16Will know where Johnny Walker has decided to play his college football
01:15:20Glad to see you boys could be here for the announcement. Sure. Hope none of us are disappointed. I'm sure don't smell, right?
01:15:36To have been asked ladies and gentlemen to introduce Johnny Walker here today, and I am so happy to announce
01:15:44That John and I are going to be together for another four years. I'm the new head coach at Pyrmont University
01:15:51You know what really makes me proud is that John could have gone anywhere in America and he chose to be with me
01:15:59Now we've also landed four of the top blue chip prospects in this country and are all here today. Come on up
01:16:15This is not about me I'm only as good as my players believe me ladies and gentlemen
01:16:20Let me introduce the man of the hour Johnny Walker
01:16:41Throughout this recruitment
01:16:44I've acted like an idiot
01:16:46I completely embarrassed my mother my family my girlfriend my friends
01:16:54Mostly I just embarrassed myself
01:16:59Because I thought I had something
01:17:02I lost
01:17:04If this is what it takes to play college football
01:17:07And I don't even want to play at all
01:17:11Just because I know how to
01:17:13remember to throw a ball
01:17:16Doesn't mean I should forget my life
01:17:20Or anyone else's
01:17:23Therefore I'm not gonna sign any letters to any schools
01:17:35Go I don't go
01:17:39Here my university honor all its commitments. I promise you that
01:17:47Who are you my name is Floyd Gondoli
01:17:50I am the NCAA recruitment investigator and I have followed the recruitment of Johnny Walker since day one
01:17:57and I am now calling for a complete investigation of
01:18:01UCC old text and
01:18:04specifically
01:18:05Piedmont, we didn't do anything wrong. You're all framing a kid for rape. Not wrong
01:18:10Oh, you're both history. It's not both finished. Oh, this is
01:18:32Nobody and I mean nobody makes a schmuck out of me fish. Nobody has to
01:18:40You made a big mistake
01:19:10Oh
01:19:13Thank you much man good move
01:19:30Down
01:19:40I
01:19:42I
01:20:10Want an education
01:20:13I saw the news conference last night Johnny. Yeah
01:20:21What'd you think
01:20:25So the type of character that we like in our students I like that
01:20:31Does this mean
01:20:34You want me to come play ball here
01:20:40You bet I do
01:20:42I
01:21:12I
01:21:42I
01:21:55Johnny Walker recruitment scandal widened today with the announcement that
01:22:01UCC and old text have each been placed on one-year probation
01:22:07Well, Joe Bob, thank God basketball season's right around the corner. Yeah
01:22:13No football ain't been good to us this year at all
01:22:22In a still further development
01:22:26Landers has been bought from
01:22:29participating in the UCC
01:22:31Football program for life you get one out. We'll take care of it for you
01:22:42Oh
01:23:12Oh
01:23:42You
01:24:12You
01:24:42Oh
01:25:12Oh
01:25:42You
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