- 5/9/2025
Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 6 Episode 13 Dead Things
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TVTranscript
00:00I don't know why you can hit me, but I'm not a demon.
00:04So you three have what? Banded together to be pains in my ass?
00:09We're your arch nemesises.
00:12Dawn, you need to eat something.
00:14Thanks for your concern.
00:15Why is she taking it out on you?
00:18I don't think this is gonna work.
00:21Are you saying you're gonna leave me?
00:23Willow has a problem.
00:25No more spells. I'm finished.
00:28I'm in love with you.
00:29You're in love with pain.
00:31Are you afraid I'm gonna...
00:32Things have changed.
00:34The only thing that's different is that I'm disgusted with myself.
00:37Oh.
00:59I missed the bed again.
01:18Lucky for the bed.
01:21Is this a new rug?
01:29No.
01:30It just looks different when you're under it.
01:36You know, this place is okay for a hole in the ground.
01:40You fixed it up?
01:41Well, I ate a decorator once.
01:44Maybe something stuck.
01:48I've been thinking about doing something to my room.
01:50Yeah?
01:52Yeah.
01:53I think the new kids on the block posters are starting to date me.
01:56Well, if you want, I can...
01:59Are we having a conversation?
02:06What?
02:07No.
02:09No.
02:12Maybe.
02:14Hmm.
02:15Well, isn't this usually the part where you kick me in the head and run out or it's you fluttering?
02:24That's the plan.
02:26As soon as my legs start working.
02:29You were amazing.
02:40You got the job done yourself?
02:44I was just trying to keep up.
02:47The things you do.
02:51The way you make it hurt in all the wrong places.
02:54I've never been with such an animal.
02:56I'm not an animal.
03:01You want to see the bite, Mark?
03:06You know, it's late.
03:07I should get home before Don goes to sleep.
03:11And she's off.
03:12Have you seen my underwear?
03:18What is this to you?
03:20This thing we have?
03:22What?
03:22We don't have a thing.
03:24We have this.
03:27That's all.
03:32Do you even like me?
03:41Sometimes.
03:45But you like what I do to you.
03:47Do you trust me?
04:09Never.
04:09Never.
04:09How can I trust you not to touch my stuff?
04:18Actually, living with supervillains was not part of the deal.
04:21I'm the lame, moron.
04:23It's not like we have a choice.
04:25This sucks.
04:26Couldn't we have at least gotten a lair with a view?
04:29Stop whining.
04:31Get your shit crap out of the way.
04:33Hey, quit it!
04:34Don't you curse me.
04:36Hey!
04:37My bone!
04:39Ow!
04:39Ow!
04:40Ow!
04:41Ow!
04:41Ow!
04:42Ow!
04:43Ow!
04:43Ow!
04:43Ow!
04:46When you girls are done touching each other, the cerebral dampener is ready to be charged.
04:51Cool.
04:55Got this thing?
04:58Musk gland of a homjum leaf demon.
05:00Oh!
05:01Oh!
05:02Fresh.
05:07All right.
05:08Stand back.
05:16Doma.
05:18Lentatem.
05:19Libere.
05:21Cupidinem.
05:22Arumhe.
05:24Edinem.
05:25Exquita.
05:30Okay.
05:35Ow!
05:36Gentlemen, the cerebral dampener is online.
05:41Now, with this baby, we can make any woman we desire our willing sex slave.
05:50I don't know just where to start.
05:53I don't know just where to go.
06:04Take care.
06:15Bye!
06:17Bye!
06:17Bye!
06:18Bye!
06:20Bye!
06:21Bye!
06:21Bye!
07:21I have the sudden urge to dedicate my productive cooperation.
07:32Well, if you close your eyes and repeatedly smash yourself in the head with frozen meat, it'll go away.
07:40Eventually.
07:40I'm hoping.
07:45Thanks for coming by.
07:48Is it bad?
07:51I was sort of hoping you could tell me.
07:54I knew this was going to happen.
07:56What did Willow do now?
07:58Did she hurt anyone?
08:01What?
08:03No, no.
08:05Tara, this isn't about Willow.
08:07I thought that's why you didn't want to meet at the house.
08:14Oh, sorry.
08:15It's, um...
08:16Willow's fine.
08:18She's been doing really well.
08:21You'd be proud of her.
08:24Good.
08:25That's good.
08:26So, so what do you want to talk about?
08:33It's Spike.
08:37He can hurt me.
08:43Without his head exploding.
08:45Oh, my God.
08:47His chip stopped working?
08:49No.
08:50It still works.
08:53Just not on me.
08:57I need to know about the spell.
09:00The one that brought me back.
09:05I'd ask Willow, but...
09:08You think it's you?
09:09I don't know.
09:15I feel...
09:18different.
09:20There are things that...
09:25I think...
09:28maybe...
09:29I came back wrong.
09:31No, Buffy.
09:33That's not...
09:35No.
09:36You didn't.
09:39Can you check out the spell?
09:41Just see if there's something that...
09:45Could you just check?
09:47Please.
09:55Right there.
09:56That's got it.
09:57Mad Dog 2 to Mad Dog 1.
10:00Well, I thought I was Mad Dog 2.
10:05Mad Dog 3 to Mad Dog 1.
10:08Simple's coming in strong and clear.
10:10Over.
10:11Roger that.
10:12Beginning preliminary sweep.
10:20Yeah.
10:28Kimmy potatoes peeled for the Slayer.
10:30I don't want any surprises.
10:33We can really have anyone we want.
10:35It's like candy.
10:38Juicy pulsating candy.
10:41Oh.
10:41Oh, the one with the neck.
10:43Put the whammy on the neck.
10:44No.
10:45The redhead.
10:45I want the redhead.
10:47The redhead's too tall.
10:48Look at this.
10:49No, no, help.
10:51Get off of me.
10:52Sure.
10:53Take it back.
10:55Target acquired.
10:57What?
10:58Initiating contact.
11:00The brunette?
11:01Oh, she's kind of cute.
11:03Ow!
11:04Oh, no.
11:05Go for the leather skirt.
11:07Oh.
11:07Bazoombas.
11:08Yeah, go for the one with the Bazoombas.
11:10Go for the Bazoombas.
11:12Bazoombas.
11:12Bazoombas.
11:13Bazoombas.
11:14Bazoombas.
11:14Bazoombas.
11:14Bazoombas.
11:14so how did you get so beautiful
11:20okay does that line usually work
11:24what the hell are you doing here it's nice to see you again too katrina
11:32yeah it's the seeing you part that's throwing me here warren because i thought i was pretty
11:37clear with the never wanting that to happen again that was a long time maybe apparently not long
11:43enough well you're not so sorry about that thing are you what thing would that be exactly
11:52but the wind-up slut you tinker together or when little miss nuts and bolts try to choke me to death
11:59okay so i've made a few mistakes no no i did forever lowering myself to be with a jerk like you
12:09no don't say that well what did you expect just waltz in here and sweep me off my feet with your
12:17cheesy lines and fancy suit no i just thought we could talk i thought maybe we could work things out
12:26there is nothing to work out what you did was sick and just looking at you makes me want to vomit
12:33you sure about that yes god yes i'm sure
12:45i love you master i love you too baby
12:49i'm home who wants to help scrape the grease off my is there singing are we singing again no just the
13:02dancing or teaching dawn perfectly synchronized dance steps for the wedding reception
13:08want to go for a spin oh i think i'm heading more towards an ungainly collapse oh rough day
13:18kind of you've been going at it too hard buffy we hardly ever see you
13:22what was slinging the double meat and pounding the big evil hey you are looking a little pounded
13:28just around the eyes hey we're thinking of heading to the bronze later want to come get all unwindy
13:39tall glasses of frosty relaxation on me nectar of the working men no thanks i think i'll stay here
13:47with dawn curl up on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn and listen to the chorus honk where are you
13:54going um sleeping over at janice's and i'm falling for that again because of the surprise lobotomy
14:03it's okay i checked it out janice's mom is picking her up
14:10oh i didn't think you'd care you're never home so
14:15i know i know i'm sorry you know but i i'm here now all visible and everything
14:29couldn't you just stay at janice's another night her mom's cooking mexican she's gonna teach me how to
14:35make real tortillas not like i knew you'd be around
14:56frosty nectar now please
14:59thank you baby my pleasure master that is so cool i really could have used one of these in high
15:10school gentlemen to crime crime
15:15crime
15:21crime tastes funny wow
15:27i still think i would have gone with the bazumbas but
15:34wow yeah she's really cute cute
15:40look at her man
15:48the shape of her lips
15:52smooth silky skin
15:56the way her nose the way her nose crinkles when she laughs
16:02she's perfect
16:02yeah she's totally hot
16:12so are you master
16:15you think so
16:17oh yes master
16:21okay so
16:24how do we
16:26yeah i mean you know
16:28who gets to
16:29i do
16:29that's not fair
16:31that's not fair
16:32dude you didn't call it
16:33oh i don't have to call it sparky
16:35she's mine
16:37but don't worry
16:38you play with her all you want
16:42after i'm done with her
16:55i miss you so much
17:06you never should have left me
17:11say it
17:12i never should have left you master
17:19tell me you love me
17:20i love you master
17:27again
17:28i love you master
17:32i love you too baby
17:35get on your knees
17:37yes foreign
17:41wait what'd you just say
17:44i said yes
17:45what
17:53what the
17:55what did you do to me
17:57get the dampener
17:59who the hell are you
18:01um your master
18:03my what
18:04where'd you put it
18:05you had it last
18:06are you kidding me
18:07get the dampener
18:08you were gonna share me with these two dorks
18:11hey
18:11we're super villains
18:15call us master
18:17wait
18:22oh crap
18:24is that a juice
18:25is that what you used to think
18:28oh my god
18:29first a skank bot
18:30now this
18:32what is wrong with you
18:33i just wanted us to be together
18:35there is no us warren
18:37get that through your big meaty head
18:39i am not your girlfriend anymore
18:41she's your ex
18:42dude that is messed up
18:45oh you think
18:46you bunch of little boys playing at being men
18:49well this is not some fantasy
18:51it's not a game you freaks
18:54it's rape
18:56what
18:57no
18:58we didn't
18:59you're all sick
19:01and i'm gonna make sure you get locked up for this
19:04and then we'll see how you like getting raped
19:07stop her
19:07get off me
19:32charge your cerebral dampener
19:37well i can charge the dampener
19:42andrew
19:44get her up
19:47we'll give her another dose
19:50strong one
19:53everything's all right everything's
19:55you're gonna be all right
19:58i don't think so
19:59i don't think so
20:03she's dead
20:18oh god
20:19oh god
20:20oh god
20:20oh god
20:21oh god
20:22oh god
20:22oh god
20:23oh god
20:24oh god
20:25no that's
20:27not
20:31this isn't happening
20:32i just i gotta
20:35i gotta i gotta let me think
20:37what did you do
20:38what the hell did you do
20:44we did this me and andrew and you it's on all of us
20:52shut up
20:52uh we uh we have to get
20:58we have to get rid of it
21:01how
21:01um
21:03i mean maybe a spell can can you teleport it out of here
21:06no
21:08she's
21:13it's too big
21:16andrew
21:19andrew
21:20what
21:23is there any
21:24thing that you can uh summon something that
21:27something that can devour that much
21:35maybe a jar of linen flesh eater but
21:38they're hard to control
21:41it'd go for us too
21:45oh that's it man
21:48we're screwed
21:49no we just have to stay calm
21:50you tell that to your girlfriend
21:52ex-girlfriend
21:53it doesn't matter
21:55there's a link
21:56you knew her so there's a link
21:59you don't think baffer will be able to put that together
22:02that's what she does she'll figure it out
22:04it was an accident
22:06maybe we could turn ourselves in
22:08no
22:08she's right okay if we go to the police
22:10no i am not going to jail
22:12we can't hide this
22:15sooner or later the slayer's gonna find out she's dead
22:20well then maybe it should be sooner
22:25are you insane listen to me
22:26no listen
22:29we have two problems
22:31the body and the slayer
22:34well what if there was a way that we could take care of them both
22:38with one big stone
22:39what are they doing
22:55we're not gonna have to do that at the wedding are we
22:58because there's this last thread of dignity i've been desperately clinging to
23:04you're still doing okay right
23:06yeah you know some days are harder than the really hard days
23:12it's easier like this though and i'm not alone
23:17i'm sorry i haven't been around that much
23:19oh no that's not
23:22it's okay we we know you've been all tied up
23:26what
23:27with your job and the slang
23:30hey i see sydney where there should be dancing
23:33come share in the joy of our groove thing
23:35and despite that i succumbed to the beat
23:40i think i'll catch the next whole train out
23:43you sure oh yeah you know glass all the way empty
23:49more nectar required cool well i'll shimmy on out when you're done lubricating
24:02oh
24:07oh
24:13oh
24:15oh
24:19oh
24:23oh
24:25oh
24:27oh
24:32You see, you try to be with them,
24:58but you always end up in the dark with me.
25:14What would they think of you if they found out all the things you've done, if they knew
25:27who you really were?
25:34Don't...
25:39Stop me.
25:49No, don't close your eyes.
25:56Look at them.
26:03That's not your world.
26:11You belong in the shadows.
26:18With me.
26:20Look at your friends and tell me you don't love getting away with this.
26:26Right under their noses.
26:33Oh, I think I pulled the jive muscle last night.
26:40The funky monkey claims another victim.
26:46Kara, what are you doing here?
26:47I mean, it's okay for you to be here if you have things that you have to be here for?
26:53Yeah, I'm gonna go bring Anya up to speed on that monkey situation.
27:00That there's a monkey problem?
27:01Only if you don't stretch first.
27:07The Birkenkrieg grimoire?
27:10That there's a monkey problem?
27:12Only if you don't stretch first.
27:15The Birkenkrieg grimoire?
27:30Light reading?
27:32Yeah, I was just...
27:35No, it's okay.
27:38I didn't expect you to stop doing magic just because...
27:44You don't have to hide it.
27:47I'm not...
27:50I'm doing better.
27:52No spells for 32 days.
27:55I can even go to the magic shop now.
27:59As long as someone's with me at all times.
28:03But, uh...
28:05But it's better now.
28:07It really is.
28:09You know, if you were checking on me.
28:12No, I wouldn't.
28:15I was just looking for Buffy.
28:18Well, I haven't seen her since last night.
28:23She's not around much these days.
28:26We kind of miss her.
28:30I'm sure she feels the same way.
28:33If you see her, can...
28:35Can you tell her that I need to talk to her?
28:37It's important.
28:39Yeah.
28:40Of course I will.
28:41Thanks.
28:47Will?
28:50I'm...
28:51I'm glad you're doing better.
28:58Hello.
28:59From...
29:03When we die, we go into the palms of those...
29:05When we die, we go into the arms of those
29:27Remember us, we are home now
29:36Out of our heads, out of our minds
29:45Out of this world, out of this time
29:57Oh, you're drowning or waving
30:04Just want you to save me
30:10Should we try to get along
30:16Just try to get along
30:22So we know
30:25We change by the speed of the choices that remain
30:34And the barriers
30:40Of our self-made
30:44Don't think about the evil blood-sucking fiend
30:51Focus on anything but the evil blood-sucking fiend
30:54Thank you
30:58It's okay
31:21I'm going to get you out of here
31:23Can you walk?
31:26Are you hurt?
31:27Yes
31:29What did you do what you do
31:32What did you do
31:34What did you do
31:38Bloody hell, what did you do that for?
31:44Spike
31:44Bobby!
31:59Spike, what's happening?
32:02So you thought you could just slip away then?
32:06Vampire, remember?
32:08I could feel you.
32:14Oh! Bloody hell, what'd you do that for?
32:44Buffy!
32:51Buffy!
32:53Buffy!
32:59Buffy!
33:13Buffy!
33:16Buffy!
33:18Buffy!
33:20Buffy!
33:22Buffy!
33:36Buffy!
33:37Buffy!
33:38Buffy!
33:39Buffy!
33:40Buffy!
33:41Buffy!
33:42Buffy!
33:43Buffy!
33:44Buffy!
33:45Buffy!
33:46Buffy!
33:47Buffy!
33:48Buffy!
33:49Buffy!
33:50Buffy!
33:52Buffy!
33:53Buffy!
33:54Buffy!
33:55Buffy!
33:56Buffy!
33:58Buffy!
33:59Buffy!
34:00Buffy!
34:01Buffy!
34:02Buffy!
34:03Buffy!
34:04Buffy!
34:05what happened there's nothing you can do now we have to go before someone sees you
34:12what did i do we have to go now
34:18all right listen to me puffy puffy she's dead it was an accident
34:32i killed her i'm gonna get you home no i'm gonna get you home and you're gonna crawl in your warm
34:41comfy bed and stay there when i saw this out trust me
34:47two problems one stone
35:07nice job she totally bought it
35:12yeah
35:17some of my best work um what happens now
35:26i'm a nice young gotta be some more girls we could kill we stick to the plan
35:34what if you think she killed katrina what's her problem now
35:47it's all right love
36:00don't worry don't be hard like a secret
36:17do you trust me
36:47don't worry
36:54don't worry
37:00don't worry
37:10don't worry
37:41Hey.
37:46What time is it?
37:50It's late.
37:52I just want to...
37:57I love you.
38:02You know that, right?
38:09What's wrong?
38:11I know I haven't been everything I should be.
38:19Everything Mom was.
38:23But I love you.
38:26I always will.
38:27Oh, why are you talking like this?
38:34Luffy?
38:35There was an accident in the woods.
38:43There was a girl.
38:48She was hurt.
38:52I hurt someone.
38:56Oh, my God.
38:59Is she all right?
39:01I'm sorry.
39:03No.
39:07I'm sorry.
39:17There's something I have to do.
39:19I have to tell what I did.
39:27I have to go to the police.
39:31The police?
39:35Donnie, I have to.
39:36But what's going to happen?
39:46I don't know.
39:51They'll take you away, won't they?
39:54I'm sorry.
39:55I'm sorry.
40:01No, you're not.
40:04You're never here.
40:07You can't even stand to be around me.
40:11That is not true.
40:12You don't want to be here with me.
40:15You didn't want to come back.
40:19I know that.
40:22You were happier where you were.
40:27You want to go away again.
40:29Don.
40:31Then go.
40:32You're not really here anyway.
40:34What do you think you're doing?
40:56The right thing.
40:57I don't know.
41:04Sorry, love.
41:09Can't let you do that.
41:11I have to tell them what happened.
41:14Nothing happened.
41:16I killed that girl.
41:19Demons in the woods?
41:21Time going wonky?
41:22They won't believe you.
41:24I'll show them.
41:25Show them what?
41:31What did you do?
41:32I took care of it.
41:36What did you do?
41:38What I had to.
41:40I went back and I took care of it.
41:43It doesn't matter now.
41:44No one will ever find her.
41:46Where'd they find her?
41:48The river.
41:49She washed up half a mile from the cemetery.
41:54Shit.
42:02There still isn't anything to connect this to you.
42:09It doesn't matter.
42:10It wasn't your fault.
42:12I killed her.
42:14It was an accident.
42:16It just happened.
42:17Nothing just happens.
42:20You are not going anywhere.
42:23I have to do this.
42:25Just let me go.
42:27I can't.
42:27I love you.
42:32No, you don't.
42:35You think I haven't tried not to?
42:44Try harder.
42:45You are not throwing your life away over this.
42:58It's not your choice.
43:00Why are you doing this to yourself?
43:03A girl is dead because of me.
43:06And how many people are alive because of you?
43:09How many have you saved?
43:11One dead girl doesn't tip the scale.
43:13That's all it is to you, isn't it?
43:16Just another body.
43:19A fiend.
43:22You can't understand why this is killing me, can you?
43:26Why don't you explain it?
43:30Nutset.
43:31Put it on me.
43:32Put it all on me.
43:34That's my girl.
43:36I am not your girl.
43:38You don't have a soul.
43:47There is nothing good or clean in you.
43:50You are dead inside.
43:54You can't feel anything real.
43:58I could never be your girl.
44:01You've always hurt the one you love, babe.
44:23Buffy.
44:30Buffy.
44:40Buffy.
44:41Buffy.
44:41No, no statements.
45:00Not until I get confirmation.
45:03Excuse me.
45:04I'll be with you in a sec.
45:07Sunnydale PD.
45:08Yeah, the phone's ringing off the hook here.
45:12Listen, you got an idea on that body yet?
45:16Yeah?
45:18Okay, shoot.
45:20Trina Silver, S-I-L-P-E-R.
45:27Lauren, just tell her to go away.
45:29I can't.
45:30You're keeping secrets from me.
45:32Other girls and who knows what else.
45:34Trina, shut up.
45:39Warren.
45:40Thanks.
45:42Now, what's the problem, miss?
45:48Is this what you saw?
45:51Yeah, that's it.
45:52Oh.
45:53Rassundi.
45:55Very rare.
45:56It's presence in our dimension causes a sort of localized temporal disturbance.
46:04So that's why time went all David Lynch?
46:07Right.
46:08Human perception is based on a linear chronology.
46:12Being exposed to the Rassundi for more than a few seconds can cause vivid hallucinations.
46:18And a slight, tingly scalp.
46:20So that's it?
46:23These things just made you think you killed her?
46:26She was probably dead long before you stumbled across her.
46:31It wasn't the demon.
46:33It was Warren.
46:35He knew Katrina.
46:36He had something to do with it.
46:37I know it.
46:38How can you be sure?
46:41You always hurt the one you love.
46:43Does this mean you're not going away?
46:51Yeah.
46:52I'm not going anywhere.
47:02We need to find Warren and the others.
47:05Whatever they've done, they're not going to get away with it.
47:07We're going to get away with it.
47:11Injuries consistent with the fall.
47:13Karno's rooming it as suicide.
47:16What about Buffy?
47:19Well, it wasn't that hard messing her game up.
47:21If she figures it out, we'll take care of her.
47:26We really got away with murder.
47:30That's kind of cool.
47:34Yeah.
47:44Cool.
47:46Are you sure?
47:48I've double-checked everything.
47:50There's nothing wrong with you.
47:53And why can Spike hurt me?
47:57Well, I said that there was nothing wrong with you, but...
48:01You are different.
48:02It's shifting you out of...
48:05From where you were.
48:08Funneling your essence back into your body.
48:11It altered you on a basic molecular level.
48:16Probably just enough to confuse the sensors or whatever in Spike's chip.
48:22But it's all just surface-y physical stuff.
48:25It wouldn't have any more effect than...
48:27...bad sunburn.
48:28I didn't come back wrong.
48:37No, you're the same Buffy.
48:39With a deep, tropical cellular tan.
48:43You must have missed something.
48:46Will you check again?
48:50Buffy, I promise there's nothing wrong with you.
48:53There has to be.
48:54This can't be me.
48:58It isn't me.
49:01Why do I feel like this?
49:05Why do I let Spike do those things to me?
49:10You mean hit you.
49:11Oh.
49:19Oh.
49:23Oh.
49:25Really.
49:30He's everything I hate.
49:34He's everything that...
49:36...that I'm supposed to be against.
49:38But the only time that I ever feel anything is when...
49:46Don't tell anyone, please.
49:51I won't.
49:53Oh, the way they would look at me, I...
49:55I just couldn't.
49:57I won't tell anyone.
50:00I wouldn't do that.
50:01Why can't I stop?
50:08Why do I keep letting him in?
50:14Do you love him?
50:18It's okay if you do.
50:20He's done a lot of good, and he does love you.
50:23And, Buffy, it's okay if you don't.
50:30You're going through a really hard time, and you're...
50:34What?
50:37Using him?
50:39What's okay about that?
50:43It's not that simple.
50:45It is.
50:46It's wrong.
50:47I'm wrong.
50:50Tell me that I'm wrong.
50:52Please.
50:54Please don't forgive me.
50:57Please.
50:59God, please don't.
51:03Please don't forgive me.
51:13Please don't.
51:14Please don't.
51:17Please don't forgive me.
51:18Please don't forgive me.
51:19Please don't forgive me.
51:20Please don't forgive me.
51:21Please don't forgive me.
51:22Please don't forgive me.
51:23Please don't forgive me.
51:24Please don't forgive me.
51:25Please don't forgive me.
51:26Please don't forgive me.
51:27Please don't forgive me.
51:28Please don't forgive me.
51:29Please don't forgive me.
51:30Please don't forgive me.
51:31Please don't forgive me.
51:32Please don't forgive me.
51:33Please don't forgive me.
51:34Please don't forgive me.
51:35Please don't forgive me.
51:36Please don't forgive me.
51:37Please don't forgive me.
51:38Please don't forgive me.
51:39Please don't forgive me.
51:40Please don't forgive me.
51:41Please don't forgive me.
51:42Please don't forgive me.
51:43Grr. Arrgh.
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