The highs and lows of online dating according to Wolverhampton folk.

Express & Star

We asked people in Wolverhampton Centre about there experience of online dating, here is what they had to say.....

Transcript

00:00Yeah, we're here. Wayne, you said, obviously you got a door to it as well. You originally started on online dating on Yahoo?

00:08It wasn't a dating site, it was a chat room.

00:11It was a chat room, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah. So I mean, once you take an online dating, obviously it turns out successful for you, wasn't it?

00:15It wasn't intended to be a dating thing, it was just a general chat.

00:21And yeah, so we got to private message each other and that's where it all started really.

00:28Fantastic.

00:29She was from Bridgewater, Somerset. I was 18. I was 18 and I met her on her 16th birthday.

00:40That's when we first actually went down, met. And it just went from there.

00:47When she was about 19, she decided to move to Wolverhampton and got married, started to have kids.

00:56Five kids down the line. Five kids down the line, that's it.

01:00So not quite a dating site, but the same premise, isn't it?

01:05It wasn't for intention.

01:07But yeah, once we got chatting, got to know each other a bit better, sent each other pictures.

01:12And it was all bypassed, the pictures and stuff like that, because the facilities wasn't there then.

01:18Do all the scanning and stuff like that. So yeah, I think it was Windows 95 or something, kind of what I was using at the time.

01:28And the computer was, if I remember right, it's called the Biglen.

01:31Biglen. I'm not sure if I'm actually about anymore, so...

01:35Yeah, tell me what's a general take on dating apps now?

01:38You know, you get stuff like Tinder and that sort of thing.

01:40What's a general take on dating apps?

01:42A bit worrying, but...

01:48A bit worrying for the kids?

01:50A bit worrying for the kids, I think.

01:51Yeah, you hear a lot of bad stories on it.

01:55Yeah, yeah.

01:56But I'm not sure whether it is just bad stories and it kind of puts you off.

02:02You know, you read a lot in the news about bad things, what happens.

02:06But, like we were saying, you don't hear about the success stories as often, so...

02:11Yeah, exactly, yeah.

02:12So let me put this into the...

02:14Because what, like, a lot of...

02:16What we've got is we've got figures that are showing that, like, middle-aged people, boomers.

02:20Like, the baby boom.

02:21The baby boom generation.

02:22Yes.

02:23They're most likely to get scammed by online dating as well.

02:26Yes.

02:27I mean, like, constant worry, isn't it?

02:29I couldn't imagine it's anything that you've got to worry about with your own children.

02:32But, I mean, like, what do you say?

02:33You reckon that's something people should be scared about online scamming?

02:36Because it could be quite common.

02:37I mean, there was a whole documentary series about it.

02:39Was that on Netflix?

02:40I think it was.

02:41I think for generations above me, yes.

02:42Yeah.

02:43Because I don't think them as used to technology as what we were growing up.

02:47Yeah.

02:48And I think, yeah, it can easily be scammed.

02:50And I don't think them as aware, if you like, about it than we are.

02:55Yeah, yeah.

02:56Are you worried about your own kids going on dating sites if you ever do?

03:00I'll always worry about my kids.

03:02No matter what.

03:03Even if I met somebody on the outside, it's just the father's instinct.

03:07I think you're always going to worry.

03:09More of my daughters than my lads, if I'm being honest.

03:11Yeah.

03:12I suppose that's just nature though, isn't it?

03:13Yes.

03:14Yes.

03:15If my daughter said that she met somebody online, I would screw to the eyes.

03:20Yeah.

03:21And go into it.

03:22I wonder if your wife's parents felt the same way.

03:25I met this guy on Yahoo.

03:26Believe it or not, they were very laid back.

03:29Was they?

03:30Yes.

03:31I mean, her dad was a farmer, so he was at the house 18 hours a day.

03:36So, never saw him that much.

03:38We got on with him really well.

03:41It was nervous to meet her at the first time.

03:43We met at the train station in Bridgewater.

03:45So, yeah, it was nervous at the time, but it worked out well for us.

03:50Oh, fantastic.

03:51Well, there we go.

03:52I mean, not quite a dating app, not quite a dating website.

03:54But still an online dating success.

03:56It was a chat forum and it turned into, yeah, something good, didn't it, Greg?

04:01Yeah.

04:02Yeah, yeah.

04:03So, we're here with John.

04:05John, you said, obviously, you're married, aren't you?

04:07Yeah.

04:08But you said, so, I mean, like, what are the worries about online dating?

04:11Because, obviously, with the babe-booming generation being one of the most susceptible,

04:15I mean, you know, it's always a scary thing.

04:17Do you reckon people have to be a bit cautious online?

04:20I wouldn't be cautious.

04:21I just wouldn't be interested in doing it that way.

04:23Yeah, yeah.

04:24I prefer to go to a dance or meet them in the pub or whatever.

04:27So, you've got a harder chance of being scammed if you actually meet people face-to-face, haven't you?

04:30It's that, yeah.

04:31Yeah, yeah.

04:32How long have you been married for?

04:33Quite a while.

04:3445 years.

04:3545 years.

04:36Ah, brilliant.

04:37You didn't meet your wife online dating, did you?

04:38No, no.

04:39I suppose it wasn't a thing back then, was it?

04:40No.

04:41Now, where'd you meet?

04:42Or was it down the pub?

04:43Was it down the pub?

04:44At the dances?

04:45Anything like that?

04:46It was in a pub, actually.

04:47Yeah, yeah.

04:48I mean, like, do you think it's a better way to meet people than just face-to-face instead

04:51of doing it on you?

04:52Oh, without any shadow of doubt.

04:54Yeah, yeah.

04:55You get to know the person a bit better first meeting, you know, you've got no chance

05:00of being scammed online.

05:01No.

05:02That sort of thing.

05:03I mean, like, what are you like online at the moment?

05:04Are you quite cautious?

05:05The world's worst.

05:06Yeah.

05:07I'm not very good with technology.

05:08Yeah, yeah.

05:09Do you reckon that's sort of like not being very good with technology?

05:12I don't use it.

05:13I've got a jump phone.

05:14I haven't got a smartphone.

05:15In fact, the only person I know hasn't got a smartphone.

05:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.

05:17Yeah.

05:18But this does make it.

05:19If they want to get any touch of your candy coming in.

05:20Yeah.

05:21So it makes the older generation a bit more susceptible than it to being scammed, if they're

05:25not quite handy with tech.

05:27Well, we're a lot less, actually, because we don't get caught up in these things.

05:31Oh, you think you're less likely to see.

05:33The youngsters have got real problems.

05:35You've got all these weirdos trying to get any touchy and all that.

05:37Oh, that's a, yeah, yeah.

05:39It's not very good for them, is it?

05:41The cold callers and that, yeah.

05:42Well, people say they can't stop it, but I think they could, actually.

05:45Yeah, yeah.

05:46Because some could go for it.

05:47The youngsters, I'm talking about youngsters, under 18.

05:50It's not really good.

05:52You're new to try to get any touchy, are you?

05:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.

05:55No, I don't like it at all.

05:57I mean, like, you know, you said you had a friend, Uber, who's honest on the dating apps.

06:00What's your opinion on dating apps?

06:02Obviously, Grindr, Tinder, the whole lot.

06:03I think they're a little bit awkward, too.

06:05A little bit awkward?

06:06I know that it's like, it's harder to go out and date than I think now.

06:10But, like, getting on a dating app and sort of talk to someone that you don't know.

06:15And you don't know if they're real or not.

06:17Yeah.

06:18Do you reckon it's a bit, like, do you reckon it's a bit impersonal?

06:20Like, you're not really, you're not really knowing that person, do you reckon?

06:23I think, as well, for a first-time relationship, using a dating app is not the way to go.

06:29Yeah.

06:30Because I think it becomes a bit of a different section.

06:33Yeah.

06:34Yeah.

06:35You reckon it's sort of like a quantity over quality sort of thing, you reckon?

06:38Yeah.

06:39Yeah, because that's what our friend's situation is.

06:42It's her first real experience with dating, and then it doesn't go right.

06:48And then it's like, oh, dating's the worst thing ever.

06:51Yeah, but is it like you're basing it off that one thing, though, instead of, like, meeting people face to face?

06:55Yeah.

06:56Yeah.

06:57Do you reckon there's a bit of a fear about online dating as well?

06:59Yeah.

07:00Do you reckon you actually know who you're talking to?

07:01I wouldn't personally use it.

07:03No, I don't think I would either.

07:05It's just sort of like, if you're taking a risk, if it's a dodgy person.

07:09Yeah.

07:10That's the thing, you've got catfishes on you.

07:11Yeah.

07:12But I mean, they're getting worse, though, because they're trying to steal your money as well.

07:14So it's like, you know, it's...

07:16Do you reckon...

07:17Well, I'm not...

07:18Do you reckon the sort of older generation are more susceptible to it?

07:21Or do you reckon the younger generation are more susceptible to it?

07:23I'd say it's probably the older generation that's more susceptible to it.

07:26But it's...

07:27There's a lot of scam warnings out there now as well, so it's like...

07:30Yeah, yeah.

07:31Depends what ages they put in the apps as well.

07:33I think they should stick to their own age group.

07:35Yeah.

07:36Do you reckon it's the quality of app?

07:38Because obviously Tinder's a bit of a...

07:39Bit of a landmine, innit?

07:40You know, it's a bit of a...

07:41It's a bit hit and miss.

07:42But...

07:43There's so much that you can pay for because our friend was on my bar going to pay for it.

07:47Yeah.

07:48Don't do that.

07:49Don't do that.

07:50And it's like where the girl talks messages first.

07:52Yeah, yeah.

07:53So it's like...

07:54Now she has to pay for it.

07:57What?!

07:58Yeah.

07:59How what?!

08:00It's like quality of app, isn't it?

08:01You know, you get ones like Tinder and it's always free.

08:04And you get ones that are like...

08:05There's plenty of...

08:06Plenty of Frischia is like paid for, innit?

08:07And that's more of like a CD-based service.

08:08Yeah.

08:09I mean, I don't know if this means...

08:10Are there younger people on Plenty of Frischia?

08:12I don't...

08:13You've never heard of that one.

08:14No.

08:15That answers the question, doesn't it?

08:16Yeah.

08:17Personally, you'd never use it.

08:18You would use it.

08:19You wouldn't use it for your first relationship.

08:20I wouldn't use it for my first.

08:22Yep.

08:23Honestly...

08:24It's for a relationship!

08:26I don't really like the idea of it.

08:28It's like you're putting a picture of yourself and...

08:31You kind of just want to meet in person.

08:33And I think that's the problem with our generation.

08:36Yeah.

08:37We don't meet in person.

08:39Because I feel like we're both in university and that's kind of our last dating pool.

08:44Yeah.

08:45Yeah.

08:46And then we're in real life and looking for work and have real life problems to deal with.

08:52Fantastic!

08:53Yeah.

08:54Don't you say this is good?

08:55No!

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