Which Chris Would You Bang?

4/23/2025

Pratt, Hemsworth, Pine, or Evans

Transcript

00:00All right, other stories.

00:02Chris Pratt is claiming that he has won the latest round in the annual Battle of the Hollywood Chris's.

00:08The Guardians of the Galaxy star hit up social media Monday to share his victory in a charity fantasy football league competition

00:13in which he does battle with Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth.

00:17He said, my fantasy football team, AGBO, fantasy football league, if you've been following, I made it into the finals.

00:26He said, I'm in the finals. How did this happen?

00:29He earned $80,000 for his charity of choice, Special Olympics Washington.

00:35Well, you know why that is because, so Kathy, on the battle of them all, just on looks basis, Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, or...

00:44Oh, I need like a whole side-by-side.

00:46Okay. All right.

00:47All the Chris's.

00:48So, I know you don't care, but my wife is not a fan of Chris Pratt because she doesn't get it.

00:56She just, she looks at, she, all right, and she's going to build me up.

01:00Oh, my God, they did it.

01:01I'm going to tell you, she says that I could be Chris Pratt.

01:07That she's like, she's like, I don't get it.

01:09She's like, you, I look at...

01:10She sees you in a different light than the rest of us.

01:12I love you.

01:13I know.

01:13But like, she is so good for my ego.

01:15I think you could be Chris Pratt.

01:16She is really, really good for my ego.

01:20I see you there fiddling with the thermostat.

01:23You're my thermostat, Pat.

01:25Pat.

01:26All right.

01:26So, wait.

01:27All right.

01:27So, top left is Chris Pratt.

01:29Chris Pratt.

01:30Who's to the right?

01:31Is Chris Hemsworth?

01:32Yep.

01:32Lower left is Chris Pine.

01:34Lower right is Chris Evans.

01:35I'm going Hemsworth.

01:36Yeah.

01:37Hemsworth.

01:37Okay.

01:38Yeah, me too.

01:38Me too.

01:39Me three.

01:40Listen, I think I'd go with Chris Evans.

01:43I don't know why.

01:44Something about him.

01:44He's magical.

01:45All right.

01:46So, let me help you guys reset.

01:51You're bent over a warm table.

01:53Yeah.

01:53He's behind you.

01:54Candles?

01:55Candles.

01:56Yep.

01:56Okay.

01:57Yeah.

01:57The smell of cinnamon.

01:59Right.

02:00In the air.

02:01Cinnamon?

02:01Because something's being baked.

02:03It's delightful.

02:03Oh.

02:04I like vanilla.

02:05Vanilla then.

02:05That would get me in the mood better.

02:08Whose midsection do you want to feel slapping against your ass?

02:11Wow.

02:12Hemsworth.

02:13Wow.

02:13Really?

02:14Okay.

02:14Yeah.

02:14No questions.

02:15Nah, I think he might hurt me.

02:16I'm going to go with Evans.

02:17I just want to hear that Aussie accent in my ear.

02:20You like that?

02:21Yeah.

02:22You like that, don't you?

02:23Oh, no.

02:24I don't like it.

02:26It's my hammer.

02:28I could go in complete order.

02:30So, I would go Hemsworth, Evans, Pine, Pratt.

02:35Oh.

02:35Okay.

02:36Pratt comes in last.

02:37Last.

02:38So, she's with Diane.

02:39She's with Diane.

02:40Pat, we're going to add me to this mix here.

02:44Now, do I come in last or do I come above Pratt?

02:47Jesus Christ.

02:48Hey, I'd love to talk about this all morning.

02:49I come above Pratt, right?

02:50We've got things to do.

02:51Yeah.

02:52There are movies that are open, too.

02:53Later on, we've got to get to.

02:54Or would Pratt come above you?

02:57Well, definitely would.

02:58Definitely would.

02:59Just move your head.

03:00Okay.

03:00We're moving on.

03:07We're moving on.

03:22We're moving on.

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