Workout Fails
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FunTranscript
00:00I was talking to my mom. They came over to our house and my mom said that she started working
00:05out. My mom is, I feel like, just like the average person, right? So it's like you get in these kicks
00:12where you want to work out and you want to be healthy and you want to lose weight and then it's
00:14like, eh, I'm going to take a break and the break turns into like a year. So mom walks all the time
00:21but she's like, you know, I'm going to start working out. I can diet, that's easy for me, but I'm really
00:24going to start working out. So she goes on Pinterest or whatever and she sees this like
00:29diagram where the showing you doing the lunges, doing the crunches, doing the jumping jacks and
00:35it gives you how many reps you got to do. And so she does it and she feels pretty good. And she's
00:41that when she starts scrolling, it says, take a one minute break and repeat three times. And she's
00:45like, oh, well, no, three times. I will do the one. So she ended up doing two. She came over to our
00:57house for my nephew's birthday. And as she's talking to me, she's drinking a white claw and
01:01says, I'm going to go home and do more reps when I get home. I'm like, mom, you can't drink
01:07in between your reps. That's not very important. So my dad hears us having the conversation and says,
01:17yeah, we'll see how long this lasts for. Because, you know, did you remember, did you ever tell you
01:21about the time she did her yoga kick? And I was like, I never knew mom did yoga. He said one time
01:27he woke up at five o'clock in the morning and he saw at the end of the bed, just her head like doing
01:31the whole like curler. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he said, what the hell are you doing? She said yoga
01:37that lasted just like a day or two. Um, when she said she was going to start running, uh, my dad's
01:44like, this is great. I'll get you a treadmill. He bought her a treadmill. She got shin splints
01:47the first day, never got, never stepped foot back on the treadmill. Yeah. So I do the same thing
01:53though. Right now I am in a bike kick, but I ride the bike. You do kill it. I mean, I don't know how
01:58you pull that off, man. It's so hot. Oh my God. You're doing it in your garage. Yeah. It's 172
02:04degrees in there. It is so, so hot. It's brutal. Yeah. But I feel like, I don't know. I don't know
02:09how to stick with it. My husband is such a, uh, fitness, like he loves working out all the time. I
02:15know. Instagram knows too. And it irritates me. His reel is just a picture of him getting massive. I mean, man,
02:21he is eye candy. Let me tell you. Good for you. Eye candy. I know. Well, poor for him though. He's like,
02:26can you please do something? Put the white down, ma'am. 702-597-1027. Your workout fail. We all try.
02:35And it's just a miserable experience. Like I, okay. So I just wrote like, I'm going through my
02:40childhood here. Uh, always like a little bit of a chunky kid. I started going to the gym when I was
02:4416. I was in public access at the public access show. I, um, I ended up going to the gym and I was
02:51eating a power bar on my way into the gym. Remember the power bars? I loved vanilla power bars.
02:56It was RIP. They were phenomenal. So I do that walking into the Bally's workout facility. And
03:01wouldn't you know, almost immediately the next day, there is a call into a public access show
03:07saying, Hey, I saw Sean from that other show eating a Snickers bar on the track at the gym. So
03:14that's, that's how my workout life has gone. That's hysterical. Remember stacker two? I think so.
03:20That was like that little, like, Hey, you take this helps you burn fat. Oh yeah. It helps
03:24your heart burst out of your chest. Wow. Terrible. I went to LVAC. Okay. So I have a collection
03:31of all of the key chains for all of the gyms I have at one point been connected to. I've,
03:36I've, I've, three of them in town. Yeah. Yeah. One of them in particular, I go and I'm like,
03:41you know what? I'm going to treat myself to a personal trainer. Yeah. I said to the personal
03:45trainer, I'm worked out in a bit. So take it a little easy on me. This guy must have had a
03:50terrible day. It made you have a terrible day. I swear when I tell you, I could not get up from
03:58the floor. I believe it. I could not. It's the worst. I had to sit in my car for 45 minutes
04:03to gain the leg strength to push the gas down. It was unbelievable. I got sucked into LVAC when I was
04:13driving past. And again, I was in a one, like five minute health kick and I saw women joined free
04:20ladies and I was like, Oh yeah, I'm going in. I'm a woman. It's going to be free. Yeah. I go in
04:27to LVAC. I said, I want to join for free. They're like, cool. This is great. Uh, do you want a personal
04:34trainer? Sure. Towel service. Yeah. Water service. Why not? It's free. I'm not kidding. What an idiot I
04:42am. Yes, yes, I did. I, so I, they asked for my car, my credit card. I was like, weird, but okay.
04:52Give him my card. Never go to the gym. Not one time did I go to LVAC and I kept looking at it. I was
05:01getting charged like 80 bucks or something. It was crazy. And I'm like, I thought it was free. I called
05:07them and tried to get out of this two year contract every month. They're like, no. And there, I said,
05:11I moved where told him, like, I picked all these ads. It didn't matter. They're like, as long as
05:18there's an LVAC a hundred miles from your home, you have to keep paying this. I was like, can I get a
05:23medical release? Time to move to Carson city for government. Oh man, we've all been there. You
05:29know, my LVAC, I, you know, I got the most out of discounts at the tropical smoothie. I killed it
05:35there. Good for that.