- 20/04/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00La, la, la, la, la, la la!
00:30Ten in the halls with boughs of holly
00:42Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
00:45Merry Christmas, Jaxie.
00:47Merry Christmas.
00:47Merry Christmas, Miss Fahey.
00:49Merry Christmas, Theo.
00:53Tell me how I hear you.
00:54Morning, ladies.
00:55Merry Christmas, Theo.
00:56Merry Christmas, Gatchel.
00:57Merry Christmas, Garetti.
00:59Garetti.
01:00Tell the ancient Yule-tide carol
01:03La-la-la-la-la-la-la.
01:06Merry Christmas.
01:09Isn't he lovely, Feather?
01:12Lovely Hobbes.
01:13I made her meself.
01:18Merry Christmas, Father.
01:19Ah, Merry Christmas, Mrs. Gilhoelie.
01:22Merry Christmas, Father.
01:23Merry Christmas, uh...
01:25Garetti.
01:25Garetti.
01:27But it's a bit big, Larry.
01:28Try it in the corner.
01:29Right.
01:30Jesus.
01:31Oh, no.
01:32He's there already.
01:34Oh, very good.
01:35Yes, he is.
01:39Merry Christmas, Pa.
01:40Merry Christmas, Pa.
01:42I couldn't believe it.
01:44Oh, Pa.
01:46Oh, yourself, Mrs.
01:48Mrs.
01:55Merry Christmas, Dick.
01:57Merry Christmas, ladies.
01:59Oh, Dan.
02:01Merry Christmas.
02:02We're collecting for the poor of the parish.
02:04It would be more than I to collect the poor of this parish
02:06and send them on to some other parish like Bally or somewhere.
02:09Keep it down, will you?
02:12What did he say, miss?
02:14He said...
02:16He said, Merry Christmas.
02:21Where'd you get that?
02:22Off Sergeant Dick above in the station.
02:24I thought it was turkeys he was selling.
02:26It is a turkey.
02:27It's not a turkey.
02:28It is a turkey.
02:29It's not.
02:30It's a small turkey.
02:31They don't make turkeys that small.
02:33Maybe it's a chicken.
02:35It's even small for a chicken.
02:37It looks like a trush.
02:38It's a turkey.
02:39Could you not get a bigger one?
02:41I didn't want a bigger one.
02:42Is that your Christmas dinner?
02:43Of course it's my Christmas dinner.
02:44I should have got a turkey.
02:45Or a bigger chicken.
02:46Look, it's a turkey.
02:47And not long that, but it's a perfectly sized turkey for two people.
02:48And she was only myself and the sister Bridie.
02:49Anything bigger would have been a waste of money.
02:50Still, it's not much of a Christmas dinner, is it?
02:51Look, you look after your Christmas and I look after mine.
02:52Alright?
02:53Fine.
02:54Sweet.
02:55Ah, humbugs.
02:56Why did you get tasting sweets like emeralds?
02:57I thought you liked humbugs.
02:58I don't like humbugs.
02:59Humbugs.
03:00What's wrong with you, then?
03:01Christmas.
03:02That's what's wrong with me.
03:03It's only a shopping festival.
03:04Ah, then.
03:05And an excuse for fellas to go out and get drunk.
03:07Sure, you're drunk most nights.
03:08Look, I'm not drunk.
03:09You're drunk most nights.
03:10Look, I'm not drunk.
03:11I'm drunk.
03:12I'm drunk most nights.
03:13Look, I'm drunk.
03:14It's not much of a Christmas dinner, is it?
03:15It's not much of a Christmas dinner, is it?
03:16Look, you look after your Christmas, and I look after mine, alright?
03:18Fine.
03:21Sweet.
03:22Ah, humbugs.
03:23Why did you get tasting sweets like emeralds?
03:25I thought you liked humbugs.
03:26I don't like humbugs.
03:27Humbugs.
03:28Most nights.
03:29Look, if I had me way, every loser that walks around with Happy Christmas on his lips,
03:35should be biled with his own pudding.
03:37Here, keep an eye on that, otherwise I'll strain the spuds.
03:44Hello, Father.
03:45Father.
03:46God bless and, er, Merry Christmas.
03:50Merry Christmas, Father.
03:52Do you like a drink?
03:54Are you twisting my arm?
03:56A Christmas drink.
03:57On the hose.
03:58Alright, go on some.
03:59Thanks, Jacksy.
04:03There you are, lads.
04:04Your Christmas drink.
04:05Fair play.
04:06Thanks, Jacksy.
04:08You're going to have a word with Dan, Father.
04:11Really?
04:12Is it after turning into a right what you call it?
04:14Is that right?
04:15Oh, yeah.
04:16That's not good, is it, Father?
04:18Well, that depends, Timmy.
04:20Erm, what exactly is it, what you call it?
04:22Well, you know the fella in the Christmas story that's grumpy?
04:26Sorry?
04:27The fella in the Christmas story that's grumpy.
04:29Oh, yes, yes, yes.
04:30The innkeeper.
04:31Innkeeper?
04:32Yeah, you know.
04:33No room at the inn.
04:34No, no, no.
04:35I'm not talking about the innkeeper.
04:36I'm talking about the fella.
04:37That's grumpy.
04:38Grumpy?
04:39Yeah.
04:40In the film.
04:41Was he a dwarf?
04:42No, he wasn't a dwarf, you looter.
04:45The fella who hates Christmas in that Christmas story.
04:48If he hates Christmas, why would he be in a Christmas film?
04:54Scrooge.
04:55Scrooge, that's it.
04:56He's an awful Scrooge, this fella.
04:58What's his name?
04:59Scrooge.
05:00Oh.
05:01What about him?
05:02Well, Dan's after turning into him.
05:05Well, Christmas is a trying time for many people.
05:09Between you and me, I've never really, you know,
05:12I've got this whole Christmas thing myself.
05:15Oh, there's the man.
05:16Feral.
05:18Merry Christmas, Dan.
05:21Who's wrong, is it?
05:23Christmas drink.
05:24Jacksy.
05:25On the house.
05:26Thanks again, Jacksy.
05:28What am I?
05:29Oh, I didn't want to be boiled.
05:31What?
05:32What's this you said?
05:34Every looter who says Merry Christmas should be boiled with his own pudding.
05:38Is that it, sir?
05:40Fine.
05:41What are you after?
05:42Home.
05:43Ah, don't be daft, Dan.
05:45Daft, is it?
05:46I didn't come in here to be called daft.
05:48And I didn't come in here to be insulted, either.
05:51I was only missing, Dan.
05:52Here you are.
05:53And I didn't come in here to be the butt-end of everyone's joke as well.
05:56Dan!
05:57I've been coming in here for 30 years.
05:58Day in, day out.
05:59And I'll tell you something, Jacksy Walsh.
06:00You won't catch me in here again.
06:04Did you do the same last year?
06:05Yes.
06:06Or the year before.
06:07Isn't that gas?
06:08I don't know how the sister puts up with it.
06:09Wasn't off the ground he licked it.
06:10Aye, sure is old for it was the same.
06:11Grumpy, tight-fisted.
06:12Grumpy, tight-fisted.
06:13Was that a turkey he had?
06:14I don't know.
06:15I don't know how the sister puts up with it.
06:16Wasn't off the ground he licked it.
06:17Aye, sure is old for it was the same.
06:18Grumpy, tight-fisted.
06:19Was that a turkey he had?
06:20No!
06:21No!
06:22Alright, Phil, go with me.
06:24Looks good, Phil.
06:25được.
06:26Did you do the same last year?
06:27Yes.
06:28Or the year before?
06:29Isn't that gas.
06:30I don't know how the sister puts up with it.
06:31Wasn't off the ground he licked it.
06:32Aye, sure is old for it was the same.
06:34Grumpy, tight-fisted.
06:39Was that a turkey he had?
06:42No!
06:43No.
06:58What time is midnight mass, father?
07:00Eight o'clock.
07:01Then we'll have the raffle about half nine, so.
07:03Oh, I'll be back then, so.
07:05I needn't, brother, father.
07:06Timmy and meself have our eye on that board for months.
07:08That's right, Tim.
07:09The ticket's in me pocket.
07:11Where's me coat?
07:13What does it look like?
07:14It looks brown.
07:16Dan put on a brown coat before he left.
07:32Jimmy!
07:33Jackson!
07:43Bloody lights!
07:44Well?
07:45Ah!
07:46You're frightened the life out of me!
07:49What's that?
07:50The electricity bill.
07:51Well?
07:52I didn't pay it.
07:53It seemed a bit high, so I said I'd give him a ring.
07:56The phone's cut off.
07:57I didn't pay that either.
07:58You're even worse than daddy was.
07:59And he was as tight as a duck's.
08:00I got the turkey.
08:01It's her chicken!
08:02It's her chicken!
08:03It's her chicken!
08:04It's her chicken!
08:05It's her chicken!
08:07I got the turkey!
08:08It's her chicken!
08:09I got the turkey!
08:10I got the turkey!
08:11It's her chicken!
08:12I got the turkey!
08:13It's her chicken!
08:14Dad!
08:15Dad!
08:16It's her chicken!
08:17I got the turkey!
08:18It's her chicken!
08:19Dad!
08:20I got the turkey!
08:21You can't do it!
08:22It's her chicken!
08:25It's her chicken!
08:27You're even worse than Daddy was.
08:30And he was as tight as a duck's!
08:32I got the turkey!
08:34It's her chicken!
08:35Dad!
08:37Dad!
08:38Luder!
08:39What are you doing here?
08:41Should I live here?
08:42What are you...
08:43You're dead.
08:44You're a ghost.
08:45Oh, stop the lights, Bunny.
08:46Little Danny got a question right.
08:47What do you want?
08:48Want?
08:49I don't want anything.
08:50If I wanted something, would I come here on Christmas Eve, would I?
08:51What do you mean?
08:52Of all the years I was alive, you never once bought me a Christmas present.
08:54Nothing.
08:55Not so much as a pair of socks.
08:56A tie.
08:57A tie.
08:58A tie.
08:59A tie.
09:00A tie.
09:01A tie.
09:02A tie.
09:03A tie.
09:04A tie.
09:05Yeah, well, you never got me anything either.
09:06Huh?
09:07Christmas is for babies.
09:08Well, why are you here?
09:09When I was young, I was a spiteful, tight-fisted, miserly skinflint.
09:10Sure, even at school, I was so mean I wouldn't even pay attention.
09:11I came here to warn you, so you wouldn't run out like me.
09:12Go out and live a little.
09:13Spend a little.
09:14Pay for a drink on occasion.
09:15And buy a turkey, for God's sake.
09:16I did buy a turkey.
09:17I did buy a turkey.
09:18I did buy a turkey.
09:19I did buy a turkey.
09:20I did buy a turkey.
09:21I didn't buy a turkey.
09:22I didn't buy a turkey.
09:23I didn't buy a turkey.
09:24I didn't buy a turkey.
09:25I didn't buy a turkey.
09:26I didn't buy a turkey.
09:27I didn't buy a turkey.
09:28I didn't buy a turkey.
09:29I didn't buy a turkey.
09:30I didn't buy a turkey.
09:31I knew a little.
09:32I was a little.
09:33I would love to see you.
09:34Go out and live a little.
09:35Spend a little.
09:36Pay for a drink on occasion.
09:37And buy a turkey for God's sake.
09:38I did buy a turkey.
09:39That's a chicken.
09:40And if I don't?
09:41Go on.
09:42Beat a loser like that if you want to be.
09:43And you'll wind up like me, traps around the place, with no rest.
09:45Sure haven't had a drink for 7 years.
09:46Mother of God.
09:47Eh?
09:48I try but sure, it keeps running through me.
09:49Are you in heaven or hell?
09:50The Tibertshire keeps running through me.
09:53Are you in heaven or hell?
09:55I don't know.
09:57Where you are, what's it like?
09:59It's like faggot on a wet Tuesday with no money.
10:03Hell.
10:04Right.
10:06I messed me up.
10:07God.
10:09You're in chains.
10:10Aye.
10:11Oh.
10:12No, I have the bike outside.
10:14I nearly forgot.
10:16You'll be visited by three spirits.
10:18Really?
10:18Yeah, I'd rather not.
10:20One is enough, thanks.
10:22Look at you, Luther.
10:24It's your last chance to learn something.
10:26So pay attention.
10:30Dad?
10:32Dad?
10:33Where's he gone?
10:37I must have got a bad pint.
10:38That's what it is.
10:43Hey, man.
10:45Cool place.
10:46It's sort of retro something.
10:50Who are you?
10:51Huh?
10:52Who are you?
10:56Ghost of Christmas past, man.
11:00Got any food?
11:01No, just call Turkey.
11:03Oh.
11:04Aren't we supposed to go on a trip?
11:06Hey, on a trip, man.
11:09You're my kind of brother.
11:12Where are we going?
11:13Search me.
11:15I find it works best if you just relax and go with it, man.
11:24Well, shouldn't we just go?
11:26We should go.
11:27He knows his case.
11:35Wow.
11:36Nice colors.
11:37Fuck a mock, man.
11:39I know what I like to do.
11:40That's Nula, I agree.
11:42Wow.
11:43Cool threads.
11:45Nula!
11:45Be relaxed, man.
11:48She can't hear you or see you.
11:51The chick ain't real, man.
11:53What we're experiencing is a sort of out-of-body experience.
12:00Who's that nula with?
12:01I think I'll go and hug a tree.
12:04Off.
12:05Off.
12:07Engagement.
12:08What do you think, you dog?
12:10Mother of God.
12:11I'll give you back the ring.
12:13But you never bought me one.
12:16Rings are expensive.
12:17All you care about now is money.
12:20That's not true.
12:21It is.
12:22We cycled six miles to a dance in Faggarton.
12:26And stood outside all night.
12:29The hall was jammed.
12:31It was a pound to go in.
12:33And you wouldn't pay it.
12:36That was a rip-off.
12:37Anywhere we could hear him grand from outside.
12:39You spent the night drinking cider with Tom and Jerry.
12:43Timmy and Jimmy.
12:46Is that it, so?
12:49Willie asked me out.
12:51Willie Power?
12:52Yes.
12:54Loser.
12:55We are going to the Dogs in Bali on Saturday.
12:58Here, I've heard enough of this.
12:59Wait.
13:00Willie has a car.
13:02Mother of God.
13:03Why are you talking to me like this?
13:04Shh.
13:07What kind of car?
13:09A Ford Capri.
13:10Leather seats that go down flat.
13:13And a radio.
13:15You've been in it.
13:17No.
13:18You have.
13:20Oh, Dan.
13:22It's over.
13:23So you're going to throw away four years, just like that?
13:26We have been engaged for seven years.
13:30Goodbye, Dan.
13:35Wait.
13:37Is there anything I could have done over the last seven years that made a difference?
13:40You could have kissed me.
13:43You really used to it bigger, didn't you, man?
13:54I never let a finger on it.
13:56Groovy.
13:58Come on.
13:59Shh.
14:00I think I'm coming down or something.
14:02Yeah, man.
14:03I think I'm coming down, too.
14:05Hey, Milly.
14:16Ha.
14:17Big deal.
14:18Ford Capri.
14:20Nancy buys care.
14:22To Mrs. Willie Power.
14:23The former new Le Hagerty.
14:30Ha!
14:33Senta!
14:34You don't believe in Santa, bud.
14:36Who are you, then?
14:37The ghost of Grissom is present-head.
14:41That's not much good, is it?
14:43There is much in the present that you don't understand, bud.
14:46Come on.
14:50I hate this.
14:53Welcome to my humble abode.
14:56What are these two looners doing here?
14:58Why is Timmy on crutches?
15:00He followed you from the pub last night and tripped on the footpath.
15:04Well, old Timmy, I was worried about his friends.
15:06Oh, no, no.
15:07Timmy, you sit here.
15:09He wasn't worried about you.
15:10Shall you have this coat?
15:11Now, my little patient, you sit down there, all right?
15:18Under the mistletoe.
15:22Dinner's nearly ready.
15:23Thanks for this, ma'am.
15:24I'm sure it's no problem.
15:26What is it happening to your dinner again?
15:28We were due to win the turkey at Jaxi's raffle.
15:30Oh, you sound very sure about that.
15:32Well, 15 is my lucky number.
15:34It's his IQ.
15:36And 15 was the number we had.
15:38And, sure enough, 15 was the winning ticket.
15:42And?
15:43Well, Dan made off with Timmy's jacket.
15:46And the ticket.
15:4615.
15:4715.
15:50Lundered.
15:51Still, it's an ill wind.
15:54You're here now, Timmy, hmm?
15:56Isn't that right?
15:58What?
15:58What was that?
15:59Smoke alarm.
16:01Dinner's ready.
16:05We're getting out of here.
16:06It'll be grand.
16:08You're not the one sitting under the mistletoe.
16:10What's that?
16:15Nut roast.
16:17Is there no turkey?
16:18Good God, no.
16:19I'm a vegetarian.
16:21Now, tuck in.
16:23After this, we'll play spin the bottle.
16:28God bless us, everyone.
16:32Hi, spirit.
16:34Hi, spirit.
16:36Will Timmy have a walk again?
16:37When I look, I see an empty stool.
16:40Well, and clutch is abandoned there, boy.
16:42What does that mean?
16:44How do I know I'm a ghost, not a fortune tell our head?
16:47Come on.
16:48Where are we going?
16:50Home.
16:50The night's not over yet, bro.
16:56Oh, bling down!
17:05Ah, we're running out of spirits.
17:10Merry Christmas.
17:19Let me guess.
17:20You're the ghost of Christmas yet to come.
17:23Where are we off to this time?
17:27Fair enough.
17:28The strong, silent type.
17:31Do you know of all the ghosts tonight?
17:32You're the one I fear the most.
17:33Right, well, let's get this over with.
17:42I love this bit.
17:43He tells this lovely.
17:44White Christmas is from Holiday Inn.
17:461942.
17:47Black and white.
17:50Black and white.
17:52A hundred minutes.
17:53Ben Crosby and Fred Astaire.
17:56Luder.
17:57Jaxie.
17:58So there's no chance of a pint?
18:00None.
18:00You only left a fire for the drinks after the funeral.
18:03So that's one cup of coffee each
18:04and a pink snack between the two of you.
18:07One of the smallest funerals I ever did.
18:09What do you expect, Father?
18:10He was a tight-fisted, crotchety old bugger
18:13that nobody liked.
18:14Jaxie.
18:15It's not fair to speak ill of the dead.
18:19I'm sorry, Father.
18:19But he was a tight-fisted, crotchety old bugger.
18:27Who are they talking about?
18:29What sort of misery loo that wouldn't live a decent few bob
18:31for his own wake?
18:35Smallest funeral, shortest wake.
18:40This is a barrel of laughs.
18:41Where are we off to next?
18:42Next.
18:49Hello, ma'am.
18:52Hello, Pear.
18:54That's the sister Bridie.
18:55What's she doing here?
18:57Hope she's not wasting her fucking money on Christmas trees.
18:59Sorry to hear about myself, ma'am.
19:01Thanks, Pear.
19:02I'm sorry I couldn't make a note.
19:03What do you want?
19:04Sure I didn't go myself.
19:06It was a bit cold.
19:08True love, ma'am.
19:09True love.
19:09What can I do you for?
19:11How much will you leave me for this?
19:16One euro, ma'am.
19:18One fifty.
19:18What is he?
19:20Done.
19:21That's my hat.
19:23That's my feckin' hat.
19:24There you go, ma'am.
19:27Hold it, ma'am.
19:29He doesn't catch it, did he?
19:31No.
19:32Unless menace is contagious.
19:36She's not talking about me.
19:38Is she?
19:39Is she talking about me?
19:44Poor Timmy.
19:45I can't help thinking if he hadn't been on them crutches, he might have gotten away.
19:50True.
19:50Then again, if you hadn't left the gate open, the bull wouldn't have got out.
19:54Yeah.
19:55But it was Dan's fault he was in the crutches to begin with.
19:57Which was running after Dan, Timmy was.
20:00Do you remember this time last year?
20:02What Timmy said?
20:03God bless us, everyone.
20:05Oh, we must always remember tiny Timmy.
20:11How patient and simple he was, despite everything.
20:15Come on now, Jimmy.
20:17Try to cheer up.
20:19It is Christmas.
20:21Oh, no!
20:22Come on.
20:24Give us a kiss.
20:25Fuck off.
20:26Oh, come on.
20:27Spirit, tell me one thing.
20:31Are these the shadow of the way things will be, or the shadow of the way things may be?
20:34Don't you touch me!
20:38You're some bloody help.
20:41How about a game of spin the bottle?
20:49This better be the last visit.
20:51I'm knackered.
20:52Whose grave is that?
20:54Not Timmy's.
20:55Than Clancy's.
20:59Here lies Clancy in the ground.
21:01Who refused no drink.
21:02Who bought no round.
21:05Blackheart.
21:07That was me.
21:10Smallest funeral shot this week.
21:14I can change, Spirit.
21:16Please, just give me a chance.
21:18Just give me a chance, Spirit.
21:20I've never listened.
21:22Just let me.
21:23Just let me wipe off the words.
21:24Please, Spirit.
21:26Please, Spirit.
21:28Please.
21:29I can change.
21:30Where is he?
21:32Please.
21:34I'll change.
21:35I'll change.
21:36I'll change.
21:37I'll change.
21:38I promise I'll change.
21:40I'll change.
21:41I'll change.
21:42I'll change.
21:43I'll change.
21:44I'll change.
21:46You'd want to change.
21:48You look a mess.
21:50And you smell like a distillery.
21:55Long night, was it?
21:57What day is it?
21:58What?
21:59What day is it?
22:00What day is it?
22:01What do you mean, what day is it?
22:03What day is it?
22:03Josie.
22:08Josie.
22:09What day is it, Josie?
22:10Christmas Day.
22:11Yes.
22:13Merry Christmas, Josie.
22:17Merry Christmas, baby.
22:23Oh.
22:23Yay!
22:25Yes!
22:27Oh, God!
22:33Yes! Yes!
22:35Yes!
22:49Hurry, Inspector!
22:51Are you all right?
22:53Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you going down to the station?
22:55Will you tell Dick to drop down to Jacksys and click the turkey for me?
22:57And drop it around to North Baloney's house.
22:59Jimmy and Jimmy are around there having nut roasts.
23:01God help us.
23:03Right.
23:07By the way, Merry Christmas!
23:13Merry Christmas, Pa.
23:15Merry Christmas, then.
23:17Any Christmas trees left?
23:19The tree's here, boss. Let him treat it. He's there.
23:21Throw him up to the house as quick as you can.
23:23Don't spare the horses.
23:25Right here, boss.
23:31Ah, Father, Merry Christmas to you.
23:33Merry Christmas to you too, Dad.
23:35I understand you're collecting for the poor of the parrot.
23:39Yep. It's the last carrot before Christmas dinner.
23:41Well, allow me.
23:47Good girl. Merry Christmas to you.
23:51Merry Christmas, Dad.
23:53What?
23:55Merry Christmas, Jacksy. Can I buy you a Christmas drink?
23:57No.
23:59Sergeant Dick was here already and not supposed to be open.
24:01Did he get a turkey?
24:03Yes.
24:04Excellent.
24:05Can I come in? It's only myself.
24:07I'm not risking me license just for you.
24:09Come back with a crowd.
24:11How's your wish to come in?
24:13Holy God!
24:15Are you sure about this?
24:17It's Christmas.
24:18Now we'll have 13 Corks, 3 Fanta's and 17 packets of crisps.
24:21Who's gonna pay for this?
24:22What?
24:23Have you no money?
24:24No.
24:25No.
24:26No.
24:27No.
24:28No.
24:29No.
24:30No.
24:31No.
24:32No.
24:33No.
24:34No.
24:35No.
24:36No.
24:37No.
24:38No.
24:39No.
24:40No.
24:41No.
24:42No.
24:43No.
24:44No.
24:45No.
24:46No.
24:47No.
24:48Only one packet Maine we don't want to inspire you with you.
24:49Will we sing another carrot?
24:50Yeah.
24:51Away in our nature.
24:55Oh.
25:00Oh.
25:42Merry Christmas!
26:12Merry Christmas!
26:42Merry Christmas!
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