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  • 17/04/2025

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"CID" "CID New Season" 2024

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Transcription
00:00Can we talk?
00:02I'm pregnant.
00:03You've got a lot going on right now.
00:05Maybe take some time off, focus on things at home.
00:08Hold on. Are you firing her?
00:10Hey, George.
00:10What's up?
00:11George, you and I ran into a little problem at the border.
00:14What border?
00:15The Mexican one.
00:16We got arrested.
00:18What?
00:19Who is it?
00:22Arrested? What do you mean, arrested?
00:23I don't know. There's no problem with customs.
00:25What were they doing in Mexico?
00:26I don't know.
00:27Why didn't they tell us they were going?
00:28How many times have you got to say I don't know?
00:30All right. What do you know?
00:32Well, they're probably going to have to pay you some fine,
00:33and they're going to need cash.
00:34My son is going to be in jail overnight.
00:37What about your mother?
00:38Oh, she's been there before.
00:39Meemaw's in jail.
00:40No.
00:41Forget about it?
00:42Forget about it. Do I need to remind you I remember my birth?
00:45Go to your room.
00:46That was a rough day.
00:48A rough day for me?
00:55You see what I see?
00:57What?
00:57An open window.
01:00You want to make a run for it?
01:03You got a better plan?
01:04Yes.
01:04You shutting up!
01:07Son of a bitch.
01:08You shirp.
01:09Give me some seltzer, I can get that right out.
01:11Shh.
01:12Sorry.
01:13So, smuggling cigarettes.
01:15Your Honor, there was no smuggling.
01:18This is a misunderstanding.
01:20400 cartons of undeclared cigarettes.
01:22Was that over the limit?
01:24By 399.
01:25I told you not to talk.
01:27He told you not to talk.
01:28All right.
01:29Here's your options.
01:30Plead not guilty, post a bond, come back here for a trial, which you will lose, because you're guilty.
01:36Or?
01:36Plead guilty, pay a fine, and I'll never see your face again.
01:40Well, we get the cigarettes back, right?
01:43No.
01:44How much is the fine?
01:46Why don't we say $2,500?
01:48Let's say $500.
01:49This is not a negotiation.
01:50I hear you.
01:51$7.50.
01:52We're done.
01:53Leon, get these clowns out of here.
01:55Your Honor, please.
01:57I really need those cigarettes back.
01:58My girlfriend's going to have my baby, and I was going to sell them to help pay for the medical expenses.
02:02That's a touching story.
02:04Leon!
02:05Sorry, don't let you mind doing it.
02:08Take them back to holding.
02:12How about $1,000, and you can keep my grandson?
02:15What is happening to our family?
02:17I know.
02:17Georgie and Memo in jail?
02:18Mom getting kicked out of the church?
02:19Georgie having a baby out of wedlock?
02:22You know what this means, don't you?
02:24What?
02:25We really are white trash.
02:26Speak for yourself.
02:27I'm in college on a full ride.
02:29But I wish y'all luck.
02:33I really appreciate this, Dave.
02:35Smuggling cigarettes?
02:36What the hell was she thinking?
02:38It was Georgie's ID.
02:39Oh, that makes more sense.
02:41So, whose truck are we taking?
02:43You're coming?
02:44My ex-girlfriend?
02:45In jail at the Mexican border?
02:46I gotta take pictures.
02:49All right, I'll drive.
02:50But we gotta stop and get filmed.
02:55Who are you spying on?
02:56Memo's house.
02:56There's a strange woman loitering on her porch.
02:59Let me see.
03:02Should we call the police?
03:03Nah.
03:04She's too pretty to be a burglar.
03:06I don't think that's just how that works.
03:09Connie?
03:10Are you okay?
03:14All right, I'm coming in.
03:15Freeze, dirtbag.
03:18Who are you?
03:19No, no.
03:19We have the moral high ground here.
03:20Yeah, who are you?
03:22I'm a friend of the lady that lives here.
03:23I'm worried about her.
03:24That's no lady.
03:25That's her meemaw.
03:26Are you Georgie's brother and sister?
03:28Yeah.
03:28I'm Mandy.
03:30I'm Georgie's...
03:32I'm Mandy.
03:33Oh, really?
03:34Yeah, really.
03:35And I'm worried about your meemaw.
03:37Well, you don't have to be.
03:37She's fine.
03:39She is?
03:40Yes, Sheldon.
03:41She is.
03:41So she's not in jail?
03:43She's in jail?
03:44Well, I thought so, but maybe not.
03:45So why is Connie in jail?
03:52That's family business.
03:54Although, Mandy is carrying Georgie's baby,
03:55and Georgie's also in jail, so...
03:56Georgie's in jail?
03:57Why are you still talking?
03:59That is a valid question.
04:00It's past my bedtime.
04:00Good, go.
04:02Nice meeting you.
04:04So, what happened?
04:06All I know is they had a problem at the border.
04:07Something about smuggling cigarettes.
04:10What an idiot.
04:11Hey, he was trying to make money
04:12because you got pregnant.
04:13Oh, so this is my fault.
04:14He didn't make that baby on his own.
04:17Look, you're just a kid, okay?
04:18You don't understand what's going on here.
04:20I know my mom lost her job
04:21and got kicked out of the church
04:22because you won't marry my brother.
04:24I didn't know that.
04:26So, did I win this argument?
04:27Feels like I did.
04:30Okay, God.
04:31We need to talk.
04:32Are you testing me?
04:33Is this a test?
04:35Am I Mrs. Jobe?
04:37I try to be a good person,
04:38but lately it feels like you are
04:40smacking me down every chance you get.
04:42And I know that that might sound
04:43a little ungrateful right now
04:44as I load my new dishwasher that I love.
04:46But can't you pick on someone else for a while?
04:49Who are you talking to?
04:51God?
04:52To yourself, got it.
04:53And you think, like Job,
04:54God is testing your faith?
04:56Sure would explain all the bad things
04:58that have been happening.
04:59So believing in a God
04:59who's going out of his way to ruin your life
05:01is more comforting than believing
05:02there's no God at all?
05:02Isn't it past your bedtime?
05:05I know.
05:06Good night.
05:06Wait, where's your sister?
05:08At Meemaw's talking to Mandy.
05:09What?
05:10Why?
05:10Can we table this for tomorrow?
05:12I'm running on fumes.
05:12So instead of traveling around the country with me,
05:17she'd rather smuggle cigarettes
05:19than rot in jail.
05:20What the hell is that supposed to make me feel?
05:22I don't know.
05:23Bad?
05:23Damn right, bad.
05:25Treated that woman like a queen.
05:26Didn't you break up with her?
05:28That was a bluff.
05:29Never thought you'd call it.
05:31Well, you're coming to her rescue.
05:32Maybe that's the turn things around.
05:34Who said they want her back?
05:35Great, you don't want her back.
05:36Let's try.
05:36I will say one thing.
05:39I miss the sex.
05:40Oh, cool.
05:41She is vivacious.
05:42And not just for a woman her age.
05:45Oh, look, a hitchhiker.
05:46Let's pick him up.
05:47Maybe he'll kill me.
05:48Do you hate Georgie?
05:50No.
05:50No, Georgie's a good guy.
05:52Anything I hate myself for making bad decisions.
05:55Like having sex before marriage.
05:57Like having tequila before sex.
05:59Hey.
06:00What's going on here?
06:01Mandy, what you're telling me how she got pregnant?
06:03No, no.
06:04But you said no.
06:05No.
06:06Uh, are Georgie and Connie okay?
06:09Uh, I hope so.
06:11My husband just went down there to get them out.
06:13Okay.
06:14That's good.
06:16Okay, I'll guess I'll get going.
06:19It was nice seeing you.
06:23I'm sorry about your troubles with the church.
06:26What did you tell her?
06:27Just the highlights.
06:28Oh, I forgot I punched out a kid in Sunday school.
06:30You don't have to tell her all that.
06:32Maybe she'll feel guilty and marry Georgie.
06:33No.
06:34No.
06:34How you held up?
06:42Not so good.
06:44Kid ain't even born yet and I'm already a terrible father.
06:46You're not terrible.
06:48A terrible father would have walked away.
06:50Thank you.
06:53Was my dad real pissed off?
06:54No.
06:55He was positively giddy about having to drive eight hours down to the border to bail your ass out.
07:00Your ass too?
07:01Yeah, but I like it when he's pissed at me.
07:03This will be a cool story to tell my kid someday.
07:08Sure.
07:09Oh, you know what would be awesome?
07:10If it was a boy, we named him Winston.
07:12You know, like the cigarettes?
07:13And if it's a girl, we could name her Virginia.
07:16Virginia Slims.
07:19Okay.
07:20I think that's enough of you for now.
07:21Evening, Mary.
07:35Evening.
07:37How come George ain't taking out the garbage?
07:41He's, uh, I am perfectly capable of taking the trash cans out.
07:45Of course.
07:46You are woman.
07:47Hear you roar.
07:48I sure hope we're still going to see y'all in church tomorrow.
07:54Thank you.
07:55Um, I'll think about it.
07:59How's Georgie and his young lady friend?
08:02Great.
08:02They're great.
08:04Has anything changed vis-a-vis their nuptials?
08:06Nope.
08:07Baby's going to be a bastard.
08:08That's what you're implying, isn't it?
08:09Not a word I like to use, but most important, happy, healthy.
08:14Bastard.
08:15What you said.
08:16Good night, Pastor.
08:17God bless.
08:33Yeah?
08:33I can't sleep.
08:34Me neither.
08:35This whole Mandy thing is a mess.
08:37If you mean the nomenclature, I agree.
08:39Norman who?
08:40Nomenclature.
08:40The system of devising or choosing names for things.
08:42For example, if Mandy and Georgie were married, she'd be our sister-in-law.
08:45But they're not.
08:46Exactly.
08:47So we need a term for the unmarried mother of our future niece or nephew.
08:50How about Mandy?
08:51Follow me.
08:52If we knew the sex of the baby and it was a boy, I was thinking we could call Mandy
08:55nep-uterus because she'd be having a nephew in her uterus.
08:57However, niece-uterus just doesn't hit the ear right.
09:00I still think Mandy works.
09:01Now, there is a gender neutral term coined by linguist Samuel Martin in the 1950s, which
09:04takes the inn from niece or niece or nephew with sibling to get nibbling.
09:07So she'd be our nibbling?
09:09No, the baby's the nibbling.
09:10Mandy would be either the nibbling guess or the nibblinger.
09:12Or, in a sort of more traditional German suffixes, nibblingo.
09:15That one.
09:16Oh yeah, that one's the winner.
09:18Sadly, nibblingo never quite caught on.
09:20But that doesn't stop me from using it in Scrabble.
09:22This is going to be my Christmas card.
09:25What the hell?
09:26What are you doing here?
09:28I'm saving you.
09:29You think I got that kind of cash laying around?
09:30He doesn't.
09:31That's why I'm saving you.
09:32Well, damn.
09:34Georgie, come on.
09:35I have more minutes.
09:36Now.
09:37Okay.
09:37Okay.
09:38Find some paint.
09:39Let's go.
09:40I'm really sorry about this, Dad.
09:42Talk about it in the car.
09:45That's just you and me.
09:46Great.
09:47Yeah, it is.
09:48Because I'm saving you.
09:52I know I messed up.
09:58Mm-hmm.
10:00And I'm going to pay you back.
10:01Every penny.
10:02Mm-hmm.
10:04You get that I was doing this for the baby, right?
10:07I do.
10:09Which one you think about it, could be a reason to be proud of me.
10:14Takes time.
10:15Think about it.
10:19When I get the pictures developed, you want copies?
10:22No.
10:24Jail's made you cranky.
10:28Still haven't heard.
10:29Thank you.
10:30Thank you.
10:32Those are the words, but just not feeling it.
10:35I'm tired.
10:36I'm sore.
10:37I'm embarrassed.
10:38Could we just...
10:40Please not.
10:43Sorry.
10:44Do you have to join any gangs when you're in there?
10:51Can I ask you something?
10:52What?
10:54Were you scared when Mom got pregnant with me?
10:56I was terrified.
10:59What, you scared?
11:01Yeah.
11:02Good.
11:03Be a fool if you weren't.
11:04I don't know what I'm doing.
11:06I don't know what's expected of me.
11:07At least you and Mom got married and we're a team.
11:09Yeah, you got it rougher than me.
11:12Does it ever stop being scary?
11:14I got a call from the Mexican border.
11:15My son was in jail.
11:16What do you think?
11:18Fair point.
11:18Sorry.
11:21It's not all scary.
11:22There's fun parts.
11:23Like what?
11:25We went to the beach once.
11:26That wasn't bad.
11:27Well, regardless, it's happening.
11:28I'm going to be a dad.
11:30Yes, you are.
11:31I hope I'm as good a dad as you are.
11:35Don't try to butter me up.
11:36You saw that, huh?
11:37Yeah, I saw it.
11:38Boy, you are smart.
11:41Just to be clear, I'm going to pay you back every cent.
11:43Don't worry about it.
11:45I am worrying about it.
11:46Well, take you the money as a gift
11:48that I'm going to be holding over your head.
11:50Well, that doesn't work for me.
11:53How about when we get home,
11:56I make it up to you?
11:57Now, hold on.
12:01You want to wipe out a $2,500 debt
12:04with one roll in the hay?
12:05Are you saying I'm not worth it?
12:07I'm saying it's a lot of money.
12:08Yeah, we're not.
12:08Offer's off the table.
12:09No, no, no, wait a minute.
12:10Hang on.
12:10Too late.
12:11Too late.
12:12Yeah, I was thinking a fair price
12:13would be $500 a roll.
12:15Well, isn't that what a girl wants to hear?
12:19Seems very mean.
12:21Do you think Georgia got a tattoo in jail?
12:23No.
12:24Do you think Meemaw did?
12:26Probably.
12:27Are we going to church?
12:29I'm going.
12:30After everything that happened?
12:31Isn't that weird?
12:33Doesn't matter.
12:34I need to.
12:36I'll go with you.
12:38You don't have to.
12:39I want to.
12:47What?
12:47This isn't where I sit.
13:06It's all right.
13:07All right?
13:08This is nowhere near the acoustic sweet spot.
13:09Shush.
13:10And I'm sitting behind what may be the largest man in Texas.
13:12Shush.
13:14Dear friends, let us love one another.
13:18Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
13:22It means that we are responsible for sharing that love with all those around us.
13:28Now let's join hands and pray.
13:30Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for gathering us here today to join together in worship.
13:35I've had enough.
13:35Let's go.
13:36Sure.
13:36Please give us the strength to reflect your abundant love out into the world.
13:41Thank you for bringing us here today to join together in worship.
13:45Excuse me.
13:46Am I the only one struck by the incredible hypocrisy of this sermon?
13:49You go on and on about loving one another and how God is love, but not when it comes to
13:52my mother and our family?
13:53And why?
13:54Because my brother impregnated a woman 11 years older than him, which one could argue
13:57was an act of love?
13:58Shilton.
13:58At least on his part.
13:59She doesn't seem to care for him.
14:00Also, earlier you said Nebuchadnezzar.
14:02In Hebrew, we pronounce Nebuchadnezzar.
14:04More in the back of the throat.
14:05Ha.
14:05Ha.
14:05Shilton?
14:06Bye.
14:06Or in Hebrew, shalom, which also means hello and peace.
14:08Ha.
14:09Ha.
14:16How's mom?
14:17Pretty upset.
14:18Even after that excellent speech I made?
14:20For once, I don't think you're the problem.
14:22Good for me.
14:24I'm reading.
14:30Hi there, Missy.
14:32May I help you?
14:34I was hoping to talk to your mom.
14:36Is she around?
14:36I'm not sure.
14:37Let me see if she's available.
14:39What's going on?
14:40She's available.
14:43Hello?
14:44Mary, I am so sorry about today.
14:46I understand why you're upset, but the church is still your family.
14:50I just hate to see you walk away from the Lord.
14:54It feels like he's walking away from me.
14:59Mary Cooper, I want to sex you up.
15:15I have good news.
15:18I could use it.
15:19I got a job at the Bowling Alley.
15:22Work with Brenda?
15:23Every day.
15:24I am so sorry about today.
15:26I just hate to see you walk away from the Lord.
15:28Feels like he's walking away from me.
15:30What is that?
15:38Hamburger helper?
15:39It's official.
15:39We're poor.
15:40We're not poor.
15:41There's hamburger in there.
15:43There's hamburger in there, right?
15:44I like hamburger helper.
15:45It really does help your hamburger make a great meal.
15:47Well, it's a good thing you like it, because you're definitely poor.
15:49Like us.
15:50We're fine.
15:51Actually.
15:51Just eat.
15:52Do we still say grace?
15:53Why not?
15:54Mom's been taking a break from the church.
15:56Mom?
15:57Well, I hadn't really thought about it.
15:58We can if you want to.
15:59Let's not.
16:00As meaningless as it is, I do find the ritual comforting.
16:02Well, somebody make a decision.
16:04That's life's getting cold.
16:05No, it's good cold or hot.
16:06Like grape nuts.
16:07Ooh, can I say it?
16:08Sure.
16:11Bless us, Laura, for the food we were about to receive,
16:13and bless the hands we prepared in.
16:15And let me have a good hair day for school pictures later this week.
16:18Let's see what else do I want.
16:19Wrap it up.
16:19And please let my dad find a full-time job before we lose cable.
16:22Amen.
16:22Amen.
16:23Nobody else is stronger than I am.
16:26Yesterday I moved a mountain.
16:28How did I be your hero?
16:30I am a mighty little man.
16:32I am a mighty little man.
16:43So, how's it going with this whole no-church thing?
16:46It's a little weird, but I'm figuring it out.
16:50Think you might go back?
16:52I don't know yet.
16:53Maybe you'll find a different church?
16:55I don't know, George.
16:58Go and get a beer.
17:00You, uh, care to join me like the good old days?
17:03Just because I'm not going to church doesn't mean I'm suddenly a drinker.
17:05Okay, well, then I guess me and my friends will say goodnight.
17:11We need to talk.
17:12About what?
17:12You do their taxes.
17:14How bad off are we?
17:15Based on their part-time income, we're going to run out of money by the end of the year.
17:18Before or after Christmas?
17:19Before.
17:19Not what I wanted to hear.
17:23Anything we can do to help?
17:24Perhaps we could sell our stuff.
17:26But I like my stuff.
17:27I like my stuff, too.
17:28Let's keep thinking.
17:28Hello?
17:35Connie, Grant Linkletter.
17:37Hello, Grant.
17:38What can I do for you?
17:39Well, I looked at my calendar and realized it's been six weeks since I last asked you out,
17:42so I thought I'd give it another shot.
17:44You ask me out every six weeks?
17:46Used to be nine, but I'm not getting any younger.
17:49I'll tell you what.
17:51Fine.
17:52Really?
17:52Why not?
17:53Oh, excellent.
17:54But I want to be clear.
17:55This is just one of those, whatchacallit, platonic things.
17:59We're just having dinner.
18:00I'll take it.
18:01Now, would you prefer a restaurant or some good home cooking?
18:03I make seven kinds of soup.
18:05I think I'll just stick with the restaurant.
18:06Fair enough.
18:07But one day you'll try my mushroom barley and your taste buds will swoon.
18:10Good night, Grant.
18:11The secret is how long I cook the onions.
18:19Chicken coop, now.
18:25Hi.
18:25What are we doing?
18:27What are you doing?
18:28You hired Mary to work at the bowling alley.
18:31She needed a job.
18:32I was being nice.
18:33Well, you don't think it's a little weird?
18:35This, right here, it's all weird.
18:38Are you drunk?
18:39Not nearly enough.
18:41You and Mary working together is a bad idea, considering, you know, you and me.
18:45We haven't done anything, George.
18:47But there was considering.
18:48You know there was.
18:49What do you want me to do?
18:50You want me to fire her?
18:51No.
18:52No.
18:52That'll be weird.
18:53Which is exactly where we started.
18:55Good night.
19:01You understand what I'm saying.
19:04Okay.
19:05So what are you good at?
19:06I'm popular.
19:07That is not a skill.
19:08You can't do it.
19:09Fine.
19:10Oh, you could go on Jeopardy?
19:11Never.
19:12I don't like answers in the form of questions.
19:13I like my answers in the form of answers and my questions in the form of questions.
19:16Thank you.
19:17Ooh, perhaps I could sell story ideas to TV shows like Star Trek.
19:19Do you really think they'd listen to a kid?
19:21My voice has gotten deeper.
19:22The other day I answered the phone and they didn't mistake me for mom.
19:25Star Trek's not going to buy your stupid ideas.
19:26We'll see about that.
19:27I have one where the Enterprise falls into a time tunnel and Worf becomes a Worf from 12 minutes
19:30in the future.
19:31We could let people punch you for a buck?
19:33No.
19:34All our profit would just go to medical expenses.
19:40Hey, Brenda.
19:42I was trying to do the books for the quarter and I was having a little trouble making sense of it.
19:45You know, Mary, if it's too big of a mess and you'd rather work somewhere else, I'd understand.
19:50No.
19:51I'll figure it out.
19:52Great.
19:54So happy you're here.
19:59Hey there.
20:01Oh.
20:02Hi, Mary.
20:04Finally found an eight-pounder that's not pink.
20:06I didn't know you bowled.
20:08I didn't know you did either.
20:10Actually, I work here now.
20:12Oh.
20:13Sure, okay.
20:16I'm so sorry about how things went down at church.
20:20It helps it all the place has gone to heck since you left.
20:23Good.
20:26I sure do miss working with you.
20:28Well, we can still be friends, even if we don't work together.
20:33I'd like that.
20:34You find a kitty ball yet?
20:35It's not about to wait.
20:37Just have small fingers.
20:39Oh, uh, Mary, this is Shannon.
20:41Shannon, this is Mary Cooper.
20:42Hi.
20:43Who used to be Mary Tucker?
20:45Not in a long time.
20:47You remember me?
20:48Sorry, no.
20:49Shannon Dixon.
20:50You used to babysit me.
20:53Is that so?
20:54So great.
20:55She would let me stay up late and watch TV when she would make out with her boyfriend.
20:58Oh.
20:58I don't remember any of that.
21:01Well, I'm not surprised.
21:02You used to hit my dad's liquor cabinet pretty hard.
21:03Well, Mary Cooper.
21:05I was young and had found the Lord.
21:07You two have a great time.
21:09Here's that invoice.
21:17Oh, great.
21:19I see Pastor Rob's here again.
21:20Oh, does, uh, does he come here rocking?
21:24Not with that one.
21:25She's new.
21:27Well, good for him.
21:29Single, good-looking pastor.
21:31In a small town like this, he might as well be Roger Stavatt.
21:35Oh, my God, the Dallas Cowboys.
21:37Oh, sure.
21:38Of course.
21:38Um, hey, if you need me, I'm going to be in the office doing office things.
21:48What are you doing here?
21:49I ran out of beer at home.
21:51Didn't feel like driving to the store.
21:52So you just waltz in and help yourself?
21:54That sums it up.
21:56I'm changing the lock.
21:58Cheers.
22:02So how's my daughter doing?
22:04Yeah, she seems okay.
22:05Still trying to figure things out.
22:06I got to be honest.
22:08I'm not exactly upset about less religion in the house.
22:10I hear you.
22:12Although Jesus making her forgive me has come in handy more than a few times.
22:15Yeah, I played that card, too.
22:16Then again, I remember Mary before God got his mitts on her, and she was pretty wild.
22:23Don't have to tell me I was the person she was wild with.
22:26Oh, she was wild long before she ever met you.
22:28What do you mean?
22:30Did you think that you were the first person she was wild with?
22:34Well, yeah.
22:35And just when the Enterprise is about to be assimilated by the Borg, another ship appears
22:43piloted by Wesley Crusher.
22:45Uh-huh.
22:46It's surprising because Wesley Crusher left the show years ago, so it's a big deal.
22:49If you say so.
22:50I have more.
22:51Commander, data.
22:51I'd like a reservation for dinner.
22:53Yes, I'll hold.
22:54You want to do this over dinner?
22:55Okay.
22:56I'm taking your grandmother out tonight.
22:58She didn't mention it to me.
22:59Maybe because it doesn't concern you.
23:01My meemaw, my professor.
23:02Who's in the middle of that Venn diagram?
23:03Yes, two people at eight o'clock.
23:06Eight's a little late for meemaw.
23:07What time does she like to eat?
23:09Well, she's old like you, so 6.30 at the latest.
23:11Can we make that 6.30?
23:12Wonderful.
23:13Hold on.
23:14Does she like French food?
23:15I'll call you back.
23:18Anyway, Commander, data.
23:19Let me ask you a question.
23:20If this Commander, data, were taking her meemaw out for dinner, where would they go?
23:23Almost certainly the holodeck.
23:25Sounds trendy.
23:26Is that in Houston?
23:30Hello.
23:32What's up?
23:32I saw your Hope Wanted sign.
23:34I'd like to help, please.
23:35How old are you?
23:36How old do I need to be?
23:37Fourteen.
23:38Do I not look fourteen?
23:40I don't care.
23:41Perfect.
23:41So when do I start?
23:43Hold on.
23:43Do you even like comic books?
23:45Yeah.
23:45What's your favorite?
23:48Um...
23:48And the cool thing about the X-Men is not just that they have superpowers.
23:51They act as a metaphor for outsiders trying to find their place in society.
23:54Who's your favorite?
23:56All of them.
23:58Mine, too.
23:59And I got the job.
23:59You can't work at the comic book store.
24:01If anyone should work at the comic book store, it should be me.
24:03Sorry.
24:03We're not hiring.
24:04Do I at least get a discount?
24:05I do.
24:05Oh, hey.
24:13Hi.
24:15You okay?
24:17Not really.
24:18It's been a rough couple of days.
24:21I'm sorry.
24:22Thank you.
24:23Makes you feel better.
24:24I've had a pretty good couple of days, and I'm still gonna get drunk.
24:26You want to join me?
24:30Yes.
24:31That would be nice.
24:33More sad than nice.
24:34But let's go.
24:35Okay.
24:35So, this is unexpected.
24:41Well, I know you like margaritas, so my first thought was a Mexican restaurant.
24:44Good thought.
24:45But I assumed other men had come to that same conclusion.
24:47They have.
24:48Which led me to Polynesian Fair.
24:50I like to think of the Mai Tai as the margarita of the South Pacific.
24:54You don't do anything on a whim, do you?
24:56Did once.
24:57Didn't like it.
24:57I have an idea for a Star Trek episode I'd like to present to you.
25:03Why me?
25:04Because I'm hoping to sell it, and since it's going to be broadcast television, I want to
25:06make sure the common man can understand it.
25:09Yeah, I understand how Justin solved it.
25:10Excellent.
25:11I came to the right common man.
25:12We start on a gas giant in the vicinity of Rigel IV.
25:15Then, see a shuttlecraft, a dot of silver against the inky blackness of space.
25:19Inside the shuttlecraft, we see Lieutenant Warp struggling to breathe.
25:22He's been infected by a vicious, intelligent fungus.
25:24Where are you going?
25:25I'm listening.
25:26Cough.
25:27Cough.
25:27Worf is choking on spores, but not just your everyday spores.
25:30These are spores with their own evil agenda.
25:32Uh-huh.
25:32And as he sinks into a coma, a mysterious figure in a spacesuit approaches.
25:35He lowers the visor on his helmet, revealing, future Worf, are you hooked?
25:38Oh, yeah.
25:40Main titles.
25:41Cue theme song and the soothing voice of Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard says.
25:46Space.
25:48The final frontier.
25:50Who's Patrick Stewart?
25:54Feeling better?
25:55I'm fine.
25:55I'm just having a little moment.
25:57I'm just having a little moment earlier.
25:58All right.
26:00Hmm.
26:03Seems like running to Pastor Rob kind of rattled you a little bit.
26:07Oh.
26:08Well, I was asked to leave the church, and he's still there, so it's still a little fresh.
26:15I get that.
26:17Seems like a nice guy, though.
26:18Oh, yeah.
26:19He's great.
26:19Cute as a button.
26:22I guess.
26:23I prefer a bigger man.
26:26Like George.
26:27Oh, yeah.
26:28Bigger the better.
26:30Deep within the Enterprise's control room, future Worf says,
26:32I willingly sacrifice myself for the good of this mission.
26:35Then throws himself into the warp core.
26:36There's an explosion of tachyons.
26:38The Enterprise blasts free of the gigantic field of fungus.
26:41Fade out.
26:42Written by Sheldon Lee Cooper.
26:43What do you think?
26:47If this Worf fellow was infected on the shuttles,
26:50why would he come back to the Enterprise and put everyone else in danger?
26:53Well.
26:54My father found a flaw in my story.
26:57My sister had a job I envied.
26:58It was a big day for the common man.
27:00But then I had an idea that, like Future Worf, was ahead of its time.
27:05Missy.
27:05What?
27:06Why is a dollar worth a dollar?
27:08Sheldon, I'm busy.
27:09Me too.
27:10I've solved all of our money problems.
27:11I'm going to invent my own digital currency.
27:13Like printing your own?
27:14No.
27:14First we assign value to difficult-to-find numbers and store them in a computer database.
27:17Then we create an algorithm to mine the numbers.
27:19Then we encourage people to switch from currencies that are government-backed to ours.
27:23It's brilliant.
27:23I'm going to be rich.
27:25Speaking of, did you know Batman is also secretly a rich dude?
27:28Or he lives in a rich dude's basement.
27:30I'm still figuring it out.
27:34Oh, thank you, Tiki Woman.
27:36So, what's going on at work?
27:38I don't want to bore you with science talk.
27:40No, no, I'm interested.
27:41Excellent.
27:42We're in a race with the finish team to see if you can correct the unification of the leptons.
27:45As you can imagine, the world waits anxiously, while we see who crosses the finish line first.
27:49So the finish may be at the finish line.
27:53Oh, you're witty too.
27:55More cheese to bait the trap.
27:57Maybe we should order dinner.
27:59Nonsense.
27:59There's food right here.
28:00Pineapple.
28:01Prickly on the outside, but beautiful inside.
28:04Just like you.
28:06And you know that Shannon girl with Pastor Ross?
28:11She was a bedwetter.
28:14Ten years old.
28:15That's not normal.
28:16Maybe he'll get a fun little surprise on their honeymoon.
28:18Oh, no.
28:19They're not getting married.
28:20Well, how do you know?
28:22I don't.
28:22I just think he can do better.
28:25Mary Cooper.
28:27Are you sweet-looking?
28:28No.
28:29What?
28:29I am a married woman.
28:32Happily.
28:33Well, I was married once too, didn't stop me from looking.
28:35Well, I'm not looking.
28:36Where are you going?
28:39To dance.
28:39I didn't think you Baptists did that.
28:41We don't drink, neither.
28:44Oh, wow.
28:46I'm pretty good.
28:48Are you familiar with the phrase, you need money to make money?
28:51No.
28:51Well, it's a phrase.
28:52And my clever twist on it is, I'm going to make money to make money.
28:55Mm-hmm.
28:56Now, when I say make money, you might think that I'm talking about counterfeiting.
28:59But no.
28:59I'm talking about creating a unique, decentralized digital currency that people can pay to own.
29:03Sounds like a scam.
29:04No.
29:04It's an open-source currency that has value due to mathematical scarcity.
29:07Sounds pretty scammy.
29:08You don't understand.
29:09I do.
29:10You say a bunch of fancy jibber-jabber.
29:12People don't want to admit they're too stupid to understand.
29:14Then they give you their money.
29:14Well, um, sort of.
29:17Love it.
29:18How do we get started?
29:19Well, all we need is a mainframe computer.
29:21How much is that?
29:21New, about half a million dollars, but I'm hoping to find something slightly used.
29:25Time will prove me right.
29:28You're not going to believe this, but I don't go on a lot of dates.
29:31No.
29:32It's true.
29:33Sure, I did okay as a younger man, but there was a war on, and most of the able-bodied men
29:37were elsewhere.
29:38So you said some oats.
29:39I get it.
29:39A whole field of them.
29:40I was a Johnny Appleseed of oats.
29:42Okay.
29:43But here's the thing.
29:44Once you put off matrimony past a certain point, women start to think of you as, what's
29:49the word?
29:49Creepy.
29:50There it is.
29:51And then along comes you, my little Texas firecracker, playing the game of life by her
29:55own set of rules.
29:56I'm a firecracker, I'm a pineapple.
29:59Good for me.
30:00Could I ask you a personal question?
30:01Oh, I wish you wouldn't.
30:02How would you like to make love to a man who shook the hand of Albert Einstein?
30:06And you did.
30:07This one right here.
30:09I didn't watch it for a week.
30:10Not a selling point.
30:12Excuse me for a moment.
30:14I have to toss my cookies.
30:21Hey, where you been?
30:23Brenda and I went dancing.
30:25You went dancing?
30:27Yeah, and I'm darn good at it.
30:29Okay.
30:31The kids asleep?
30:32Yep.
30:33You want to fool around?
30:36Are you messing with me?
30:37I'm hoping to.
30:40You have to get it done.
30:46Welcome to King Kong Comics.
30:47I'm Missy.
30:48If you have any questions, please let me know.
30:49I don't have any questions.
30:50I know more about comic books than you do.
30:52Okay.
30:53What you may not know is the new Green Lantern just came in.
30:55Also, if you like green things, I recommend Green Arrow and, of course, the Hulk.
30:58His skin is green.
30:59I know that.
30:59Everyone knows that.
31:00Uh-oh.
31:01Are you going to smash things?
31:02That's the thing the Hulk does when he gets upset.
31:04I'm not upset.
31:05Cool.
31:05If you need something, I'll be at the front counter.
31:07Where I work.
31:07Previously on Young Show.
31:15Mary Cooper, I want to sex you up.
31:20I have good news.
31:22I could use it.
31:22I got a job at the bowling alley.
31:26Work with Brenda?
31:27Every day.
31:28I am so sorry about today.
31:30I just hate to see you walk away from the Lord.
31:32Feels like he's walking away from me.
31:37What is that?
31:42Hamburger Helper.
31:43It's official.
31:43We're poor.
31:44We're not poor.
31:45There's hamburger in there.
31:47There's hamburger in there, right?
31:48I like Hamburger Helper.
31:49It really does help your hamburger make a great meal.
31:51Well, it's a good thing you like it, because you're definitely poor.
31:53Like us.
31:54We're fine.
31:55Actually.
31:55Just eat.
31:56Do we still say grace?
31:57Why not?
31:58Mom's been taking a break from the church.
32:00Mom?
32:00Well, I hadn't really thought about it.
32:02We can if you ought to.
32:03Let's not.
32:04As meaningless as it is, I do find the ritual comforting.
32:06Well, somebody make a decision.
32:07That slop's getting cold.
32:09No, it's good cold or hot.
32:10Like grape nuts.
32:11Ooh, can I say it?
32:12Sure.
32:15Bless us, Laura, for the food we were about to receive, and bless the hands we prepared
32:18it.
32:18And let me have a good hair day for school pictures later this week.
32:21Let's see what else I want.
32:23Wrap it up.
32:24And please let my dad find a full-time job before we lose cable.
32:26Amen.
32:26Amen.
32:26Amen.
32:26So, how's it going with this whole no-church thing?
32:50It's a little weird, but I'm figuring it out.
32:54Think you might go back?
32:56I don't know yet.
32:57Maybe find a different church?
32:58I don't know, George.
33:02Go and get a beer.
33:03You, uh, care to join me like the good old days?
33:07Just because I'm not going to church doesn't mean I'm suddenly a drinker.
33:09Okay, well, then I guess me and my friends will say goodnight.
33:15We need to talk.
33:16About what?
33:16You do their taxes.
33:18How about how far are we?
33:19Based on their part-time income, we're going to run out of money by the end of the year.
33:22Before or after Christmas?
33:23Before.
33:23Not what I wanted to hear.
33:27Anything we can do to help?
33:28Perhaps we could sell our stuff.
33:29But I like my stuff.
33:31I like my stuff, too.
33:32Let's keep thinking.
33:38Hello?
33:39Connie.
33:40Grant Linkletter.
33:41Hello, Grant.
33:42What can I do for you?
33:43Well, I looked at my calendar and realized it's been six weeks since I last asked you out,
33:46so I thought I'd give it another shot.
33:48You ask me out every six weeks?
33:50Used to be nine, but we're not getting any younger.
33:53I'll tell you what.
33:55Fine.
33:55Really?
33:56Why not?
33:57Oh, excellent.
33:58But I want to be clear.
33:59This is just one of those, what you call it, platonic things.
34:02We're just having dinner.
34:04I'll take it.
34:05Now, would you prefer a restaurant or some good home cooking?
34:07I make seven kinds of soup.
34:09I think I'll just stick with the restaurant.
34:10Fair enough.
34:11But one day you'll try my mushroom barley and your taste buds will swoon.
34:14Good night, Grant.
34:15The secret is how long I cook the onions.
34:16Chicken coop, now.
34:28Hi.
34:29What are we doing?
34:31What are you doing?
34:32You hired Mary to work at the bowling alley.
34:34She needed a job.
34:36I was being nice.
34:37Well, you don't think it's a little weird?
34:38Oh, wait, this, right here, it's all weird.
34:42Are you drunk?
34:43Not nearly enough.
34:45You and Mary working together is a bad idea, considering, you know, you and me.
34:49We haven't done anything, George.
34:51But there was considering.
34:51You know there was.
34:53What do you want me to do?
34:54You want me to fire her?
34:55No.
34:56No.
34:56That'll be weird.
34:57Which is exactly where we started.
34:59Good night.
35:04You understand what I'm saying.
35:08Okay, so what are you good at?
35:10I'm popular.
35:11That is not a skill.
35:12You can't do it.
35:13Fine.
35:14Oh, you could go on Jeopardy.
35:15Never.
35:16I don't like answers in the form of questions.
35:17I like my answers in the form of answers and my questions in the form of questions.
35:20Thank you.
35:21Ooh, perhaps I could sell story ideas to TV shows like Star Trek.
35:23You really think they'd listen to a kid?
35:25My voice has gotten deeper.
35:26The other day I answered the phone and they didn't mistake me for Mom.
35:28Star Trek's not going to buy your stupid ideas.
35:30We'll see about that.
35:31I have one where the Enterprise falls to a time tunnel and Worf becomes a Worf from 12 minutes in the future.
35:36We could let people punch you for a buck?
35:37No.
35:38All our profit would just go to medical expenses.
35:44Hey, Prenta.
35:45I was trying to do the books for the quarter and I was having a little trouble making sense of it.
35:49You know, Mary, if it's too big of a mess and you'd rather work somewhere else, I'd understand.
35:54No.
35:55I'll figure it out.
35:56Great.
35:57So happy you're here.
36:03Hey there.
36:04Oh.
36:06Hi, Mary.
36:08Finally found an eight-pounder that's not pink.
36:10I didn't know you bowled.
36:12I didn't know you did either.
36:13Actually, I, um, I work here now.
36:16Oh.
36:17Sure, okay.
36:20I'm so sorry about how things went down at church.
36:24If it helps, it all the place has gone to heck since you left.
36:26Good.
36:27I sure do miss working with you.
36:32Well, we can still be friends even if we don't work together.
36:35I'd like that.
36:37You find a kitty ball yet?
36:39It's not about the weight.
36:40I have small fingers.
36:42Oh, uh, Mary, this is Shannon.
36:45Shannon, this is Mary Cooper.
36:47Hi.
36:47Who used to be Mary Tucker?
36:49Not in a long time.
36:51You remember me?
36:52Sorry, no.
36:53Shannon Dixon.
36:54He used to babysit me.
36:57Is that so?
36:58She was so great.
36:59She would let me stay up late and watch TV.
37:00He wants you to make out with her boyfriend.
37:03I don't remember any of that.
37:05Well, I'm not surprised.
37:06You used to hit my dad's liquor cabinet pretty hard.
37:07Well, Mary Cooper.
37:09I was young and had family lured.
37:11You two have a great time.
37:20Here's that invoice.
37:21Oh, great.
37:22See, Pastor Rob's here again.
37:24Oh, does, uh, does he come here, Rob?
37:28Not with that one.
37:29She's new.
37:31Well, good for him.
37:33Single, good-looking pastor.
37:35In a small town like this, you might as well be Roger Stavik.
37:39Oh, my God, the Dallas Cowboys.
37:41Oh, sure, of course.
37:43Um, hey, if you need me, I'm going to be in the office doing office things.
37:47What are you doing here?
37:53I ran out of beer at home.
37:54Didn't feel like driving to the store.
37:56So you just waltz in and help yourself.
37:58About sums it up.
38:00I'm changing the lock.
38:02Cheers.
38:03So how's my daughter doing?
38:08Yeah, she seems okay.
38:09Still trying to figure things out.
38:11I got to be honest, I'm not exactly upset about less religion in the house.
38:14I hear you.
38:15Although, Jesus making her forgive me has come in handy more than a few times.
38:19Yeah, I played that card, too.
38:21Then again, I remember Mary before God got his mitts on her, and she was pretty wild.
38:27Don't have to tell me I was the person she was wild with.
38:29Oh, she was wild long before she ever met you.
38:32What do you mean?
38:34Did you think that you were the first person she was wild with?
38:37Well, yeah.
38:39And just when the Enterprise is about to be assimilated by the Borg, another ship appears
38:47piloted by Wesley Crusher.
38:49Uh-huh.
38:50It's surprising, because Wesley Crusher left the show years ago, so it's a big deal.
38:53If you say so.
38:54I have more.
38:55Commander Data.
38:55I'd like a reservation for dinner.
38:57Yes, I'll hold.
38:58You want to do this over dinner?
38:59Okay.
39:00I'm taking your grandmother out tonight.
39:02She didn't mention it to me.
39:03Maybe because it doesn't concern you.
39:04My meemaw, my professor, who's in the middle of that Venn diagram?
39:07Yes, two people at eight o'clock?
39:09Eight's a little late for meemaw.
39:11What time does she like to eat?
39:12Well, she's old like you, so 6.30 at the latest.
39:15Can we make that 6.30?
39:16Wonderful.
39:17Hold on.
39:18Does she like French food?
39:19I'll call you back.
39:22Anyway, Commander Data.
39:23Let me ask you a question.
39:24If this Commander Data were taking her meemaw out for dinner, where would they go?
39:27Almost certainly the holodeck.
39:29Sounds trendy.
39:30Is that in Houston?
39:34Hello.
39:36What's up?
39:36I saw your Hope Wanted sign.
39:38I'd like to help, please.
39:39How old are you?
39:40How old do I need to be?
39:41Fourteen.
39:42Do I not look fourteen?
39:44I don't care.
39:45Perfect.
39:45So when do I start?
39:46Hold on.
39:47Do you even like comic books?
39:48Yeah.
39:49What's your favorite?
39:52Um...
39:52And the cool thing about the X-Men is not just that they have superpowers.
39:55They act as a metaphor for outsiders trying to find their place in society.
39:58Who's your favorite?
40:00All of them.
40:02Mine, too.
40:03And I got the job.
40:04You can't work at the comic book store.
40:05If anyone should work at the comic book store, it should be me.
40:07Sorry.
40:07We're not hiring.
40:08Do I at least get a discount?
40:09I do.
40:16Oh, hey.
40:17Hi.
40:17You okay?
40:20Not really.
40:22It's been a rough couple of days.
40:25I'm sorry.
40:26Thank you.
40:27Makes you feel better.
40:28I've had a pretty good couple of days, and I'm still gonna get drunk.
40:32You wanna join me?
40:34Yes.
40:35That would be nice.
40:36More sad than nice.
40:37But let's go.
40:38So, this is unexpected.
40:45Well, I know you like margaritas, so my first thought was a Mexican restaurant.
40:48Good thought.
40:49But I assumed other men had come to that same conclusion.
40:51They have.
40:52Which led me to Polynesian Fair.
40:54I like to think of the Mai Tai as the margarita of the South Pacific.
40:58You don't do anything on a whim, do you?
41:00Did once.
41:01Didn't like it.
41:01I have an idea for a Star Trek episode I'd like to present to you.
41:07Why me?
41:08Because I'm hoping to sell it, and since it's going to be broadcast television, I want to
41:10make sure the common man can understand it.
41:13Well, I understand how Justin solved it.
41:14Excellent.
41:14I came to the right common man.
41:16We start on a gas giant in the vicinity of Rigel 4.
41:19Then, see a shuttlecraft, a dot of silver against the inky blackness of space.
41:23Inside the shuttlecraft, we see Lieutenant Warp struggling to breathe.
41:26He's been infected by a vicious, intelligent fungus.
41:28Where are you going?
41:29I'm listening.
41:30Cough.
41:31Cough.
41:31Worf is choking on spores, but not just your everyday spores.
41:34These are spores with their own evil agenda.
41:36Uh-huh.
41:36And as he sinks into a coma, a mysterious figure in a spacesuit approaches.
41:39He lowers the visor on his helmet, revealing, future Worf, are you hooked?
41:42Oh, yeah.
41:44Main titles.
41:45Cue theme song and the soothing voice of Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard says.
41:49Space.
41:52The final frontier.
41:54Who's Patrick Stewart?
41:58Feeling better?
41:59I'm fine.
41:59I'm just having a little moment earlier.
42:01All right.
42:02All right.
42:04Hmm.
42:07Seems like running to Pastor Rob kind of rattled you a little bit.
42:11Oh.
42:12Well, I was asked to leave the church, and he's still there, so it's still a little fresh.
42:18I get that.
42:21Seems like a nice guy, though.
42:22Oh, yeah.
42:23He's great.
42:24Cute as a button.
42:26I guess.
42:27I prefer a bigger man.
42:29Like George.
42:31Oh, yeah.
42:32Bigger the better.
42:34Deep within the Enterprise's control room, Future Worf says,
42:36I willingly sacrifice myself for the good of this mission.
42:39Then throws himself into the warp core.
42:40There's an explosion of tachyons.
42:42The Enterprise blasts free of the gigantic field of fungus.
42:44Fade out.
42:46Written by Sheldon Lee Cooper.
42:47What do you think?
42:51If this war fellow was infected on the shuttles, why would he come back to Enterprise and put
42:55everyone else in danger?
42:56Well.
42:57My father found a flaw in my story.
43:00My sister had a job I envied.
43:02It was a big day for the common man.
43:04But then I had an idea that, like Future Worf, was ahead of its time.
43:09Missy.
43:09What?
43:11Why is a dollar worth a dollar?
43:12Sheldon, I'm busy.
43:13Me too.
43:14I've solved all of our money problems.
43:15I'm going to invent my own digital currency.
43:17Like printing your own?
43:18No.
43:18First, we assign value to difficult-to-find numbers and store them in a computer database.
43:21Then we create an algorithm to mine the numbers.
43:23Then we encourage people to switch from currencies that are government-backed to ours.
43:27It's brilliant.
43:27I'm going to be rich.
43:28Speaking of, did you know Batman is also secretly a rich dude?
43:32Or he lives in a rich dude's basement.
43:34I'm still figuring it out.
43:38Oh, thank you, Tiki Woman.
43:40So, what's going on at work?
43:42I don't want to bore you with science talk.
43:44No, no, I'm interested.
43:45Excellent.
43:46We're in a race with the finish team to see if you can correct the unification of the leptons.
43:49As you can imagine, the world waits anxiously while we see who crosses the finish line first.
43:53So the finish may be at the finish line.
43:57Oh, you're witty, too.
43:59More cheese to bait the trap.
44:01Maybe we should order dinner.
44:02Nonsense.
44:03There's food right here.
44:04Pineapple.
44:05Prickly on the outside, but beautiful inside.
44:08Just like you.
44:12And you know that Shannon girl with Pastor Ross?
44:15She was a bedwetter.
44:18Ten years old.
44:19That's not normal.
44:20Maybe you'll get a fun little surprise on their honeymoon.
44:22Oh, no.
44:23They're not getting married.
44:24Well, how do you know?
44:25I don't.
44:26I just think he can do better.
44:29Mary Cooper.
44:31Are you sweet on him?
44:32No.
44:33What?
44:34I am a married woman.
44:36Peppily.
44:37Well, I was married once, too, to stop me from looking.
44:39Well, I'm not looking.
44:42Where are you going?
44:42To dance.
44:43I didn't think you Baptists did that.
44:45We don't drink, neither.
44:47Oh, wow.
44:48I'm pretty good.
44:52Are you familiar with the phrase, you need money to make money?
44:55No.
44:55Well, it's a phrase.
44:56And my clever twist on it is, I'm going to make money to make money.
44:59Mm-hmm.
45:00Now, when I say make money, you might think that I'm talking about counterfeiting.
45:02But no.
45:03I'm talking about creating a unique, decentralized digital currency that people can pay to own.
45:07Sounds like a scam.
45:07No, it's an open-source currency that has value due to mathematical scarcity.
45:11Sounds pretty scammy.
45:12You don't understand.
45:13I do.
45:14You say a bunch of fancy jibber-jabber, people don't want to admit they're too stupid to understand,
45:17then they give you their money.
45:18Well, um, sort of.
45:21Love it.
45:21How do we get started?
45:22Well, all we need is a mainframe computer.
45:24How much is that?
45:25New, about half a million dollars, but I'm hoping to find something slightly used.
45:29Time will prove me right.
45:32You're not going to believe this, but I don't go on a lot of dates.
45:35No.
45:36It's true.
45:37Sure, I did okay as a younger man, but there was a war on, and most of the able-bodied men
45:41where else were.
45:42So you sowed some oats.
45:43I get it.
45:43A whole field of them.
45:44I was the Johnny Appleseed of oats.
45:46Okay.
45:47But here's the thing.
45:48Once you put off matrimony past a certain point, women start to think of you as, what's
45:53the word?
45:53Creepy.
45:54There it is.
45:55And then along comes you, my little Texas firecracker, playing the game of life by her
45:59own set of rules.
46:00I'm a firecracker.
46:01I'm a pineapple.
46:03Good for me.
46:04Could I ask you a personal question?
46:05Oh, I wish you wouldn't.
46:06How would you like to make love to a man who shook the hand of Albert Einstein?
46:09And you did.
46:11This one right here.
46:13I didn't wash it for a week.
46:14Not a selling point.
46:16Excuse me for a moment.
46:19I have to toss my cookies.
46:20Hey, where you been?
46:27Brenda and I went dancing.
46:29You went dancing?
46:30Yeah, and I'm darn good at it.
46:33Okay.
46:34The kids asleep?
46:36Yep.
46:37You want to fool around?
46:40Are you messing with me?
46:42I'm hoping to.
46:42You're a half-diggity dog.
46:45You're a half-diggity dog.
46:46Previously on, Young Sheldon.
46:47Why do you look like you're gonna cry?
46:48A year ago, I was a TV weather girl in San Antonio, and now I'm living in a garage with
46:52a 17-year-old who got me pregnant.
46:54I'll be 18 before you know it.
46:55But not before you're a father.
46:57You're gonna be okay.
46:57Is it?
47:01I did in the sink last night.
47:03Trust me, I'll fix this.
47:05Make yourself at home.
47:06Thank you so much.
47:08It's only temporary, I promise.
47:09Oh, no problem.
47:11Stay as long as you need.
47:12Bathroom's right down the hall.
47:13I'll boil a bathroom.
47:16Here you go.
47:18Scrambled eggs, bacon, biscuits, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
47:22Thank you.
47:23That's amazing.
47:24Where's mine?
47:25You're not pregnant.
47:25She is.
47:26I like to think we're pregnant.
47:28Really?
47:29Are your ankles swollen?
47:31Did you throw up this morning?
47:32Are you constipated?
47:33No, dear.
47:34Stop calling me dear.
47:35I'm not your dear.
47:36You want breakfast?
47:37Eggs are here, stove is there.
47:38Knock yourself out.
47:39I get she's pregnant.
47:40I don't know why you're so moody.
47:41On the count of three.
47:42I'm leaving, I'm leaving.
47:44Have a good day, Mama.
47:45Ugh, Mama.
47:56I love you, baby.
47:57I love you, baby.
47:58I love you, baby.
48:01Since losing his job, one of the few upsides for my dad was having the house to himself to enjoy some peace and quiet.
48:07Billy!
48:08Stop feeding the chickens, Cap'n Crunch!
48:10But they like it.
48:11We've been over this.
48:12You don't eat their food, they don't eat yours.
48:14Everybody okay over there?
48:16Yeah.
48:17Doesn't sound okay.
48:18Oh, you don't want to know.
48:20Tell me.
48:23He's failing math, and they might hold him back.
48:26That's rough.
48:27I try helping him, but math was never my strong suit.
48:29Yeah, I hear you.
48:30And when you do try to help them, they realize how dumb you are.
48:33You think Sheldon would help Billy?
48:36I'm not sure helping others is where he shines.
48:38Pissing him off, he's got that down cold.
48:41Well, then I'm screwed.
48:43I can't afford a tutor.
48:45Let me talk to Sheldon.
48:46See what I can do.
48:47Appreciate it.
48:48Mom, look.
48:50That chicken is not a hat.
48:53Hurry.
48:57Hey, how was school?
48:58Sucked.
48:59Language.
49:00You asked, and it did.
49:01What happened?
49:01I don't want to talk about it.
49:03Are you sure?
49:03I'm a pretty good listener.
49:05Then why didn't you hear me say I don't want to talk about it?
49:07Is this about boys?
49:08Mom.
49:09I do have some experience on the subject.
49:11Please, only two boys you have experience with are Dad and Jesus.
49:14I'm going to go talk to me, Mom.
49:16I know other boys.
49:18And then he walked right on by me like I wasn't there.
49:20Does he even know you like him?
49:22I don't know.
49:22I've ignored him, been mean to him.
49:24What else can I do?
49:25Sounds like you've tried everything.
49:28Okay.
49:29I've got an idea.
49:30Why don't you just tell him?
49:31But what if he doesn't like me back?
49:33I would die.
49:33You will not die.
49:35Oh, yes, I will.
49:35I will be dead, and he will be sad at my funeral.
49:37How about this?
49:38Why don't you get one of your girlfriends to find out how he feels about you?
49:41Why?
49:41Because then you don't have to put yourself on the spot.
49:44Okay.
49:45And if he doesn't like me back, I'll just keep being mean to him until he...
49:47I'm out of here.
49:47I'll just keep being mean to him.
49:48I'm out of here.
49:49I'm out of here.
49:50I'm out of here.
49:50I'm out of here.
49:52I'm out of here.