Taskmaster (AU) Season 4 Episode 3
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00:00That's a shocking start.
00:04Tom!
00:12Yep, that's it.
00:14Where's Tom?
00:23No!
00:24I hate you.
00:27Let me out of here!
00:30Hello and welcome to Castmaster.
00:40It's our third episode and after my week-long cryogenic sleep,
00:44they've updated my moral source code with what's okay
00:47and what's not okay to joke about.
00:50Look out straight white men, I'm coming for you.
00:56Ah, let's meet the cast.
00:58The stinky and old Dave Hughes.
01:02The wonderful Emma Holland.
01:05The irreplaceable Lisa McKeown.
01:08The very cool and suave Takashi Pakasuki.
01:12And the stinky and getting old Tommy Little.
01:15Hello!
01:16And next to me, the boy who spends his weekend hanging out at the library telling people to shh and getting tingles in his naughty region at the brilliance of the Dewey Decimal System.
01:29It's Tom Cashman.
01:35How are you this week?
01:37I've been inspired this week.
01:38Yeah.
01:39Because we have a warm-up guy here on the show called Steve Philp.
01:42I've been trying to do something similar.
01:43Yep.
01:44I've been trying to become a warm guy.
01:47It is at warmth.
01:48It's an attempt at warmth.
01:49Okay.
01:50Okay, Princess, what's our first task for the show?
02:03Our first task is a prize task.
02:04And this week, our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the swankiest thing.
02:09All right.
02:10So, Waka.
02:11Yes.
02:12What do you have for me?
02:13I bought the birds.
02:16Birds and the crested birds.
02:19That's why I put my hair make like this.
02:23It takes so long.
02:24Lots of time and effort there.
02:26But this bird, when they wake up, already there.
02:31When it's rainy day, it's already there.
02:34That's the swankest things I ever think.
02:37It's naturally swankest.
02:39I must admit, it's a problem I can't really relate to.
02:43All right.
02:44Lisa, what did you bring in?
02:45Look, I brought a high tea.
02:46It's pretty and it's nice and everybody gets dressed up for it and partakes in it together.
02:52And there's conversation, polite conversation.
02:55As opposed to low tea, which is an issue I deal with.
02:58Yes.
02:59What does a low tea involve?
03:01A tea is short for testosterone.
03:03You really are lesser in every way, aren't you?
03:08Because apparently too much testosterone causes baldness.
03:13I'm just saying I'm locked and loaded.
03:15Is that true though?
03:16Or is that just something that they say to bald men to make them feel better about themselves?
03:20Yeah, it's just some annoying thing from science, Husey.
03:23But you enjoy your full head of hair and your one sperm cell rattling around your empty nuts.
03:27You'll be fine.
03:28See, I've had a vasectomy anyway, so I don't...
03:30All right.
03:32So they can't get out whether they're there or not.
03:35Hey, Huse.
03:36When you've had a vasectomy, does it just go like...
03:43Mate, I'll show you later.
03:45All right.
03:46So, Emma, what's the swankiest thing you brought in?
03:51I brought in something I made.
03:53It's a golden statue of Hilary Swank.
03:58And it looks exactly like her.
04:05Are you a massive Hilary Swank fan?
04:07Oh, absolutely.
04:08I love all of her work.
04:10Including what?
04:11Oh, just the movies, you know.
04:14All the cinema that she's in.
04:16You know, a real fan wouldn't pick a favourite.
04:20Tommy, what did you bring in that you thought was swanky?
04:23I brought in an invitation I got from the, at the time, royals.
04:28From Harry and Meghan.
04:30And I RSVP'd and then forgot.
04:36They didn't do a follow-up check.
04:38So I think it's a bit on them, Tom.
04:41So you needed not just a royal invite, you needed a royal reminder.
04:45Yes.
04:47Okay, Dave, what's the swankiest thing that you've brought in?
04:50An electric foot masseuse.
04:53So you put your feet on it and it, underneath the things come up and make you feel like you're a king or a queen or, you know, whatever gender neutral term you have for royalty.
05:04Um, yeah.
05:05So, how much does that cost, you reckon, Husey?
05:07Oh, I got it for free.
05:08But, uh, I reckon if you bought it, I've no idea.
05:11What do you reckon?
05:12Yeah, like what, $49.99?
05:15Like, it sounds affordable.
05:17Oh, yeah, I'm not an elitist.
05:19Uh, it's anyone...
05:20Well, for this prize task, you're supposed to be.
05:23Oh, right.
05:24Yeah, because this seems very affordable and something that anyone could get.
05:27Yeah, right.
05:28Which doesn't feel swanky at all to me.
05:29Anyway, I'm already starting to score.
05:30One.
05:36I don't even want to hear your defence of it.
05:39I'm going to go two points for Lisa.
05:40I appreciate what you're trying to do.
05:41Yeah.
05:42But it's not quite as special as a fancy bird, so I'm going to give three points to Waka.
05:48I feel like I'm going to give four points to Tommy Little because that's a very swanky invitation.
05:52But for all the effort, I mean, Hilary's swanky.
05:54You can't get more swanky than Hilary.
05:56Five points to Emma.
06:01Okay, let's get into a task.
06:03Like someone who purchased the hit single Don't Stop Believin' and was unsatisfied,
06:07it's time to return Journey.
06:12Come in.
06:23Hey, Tom.
06:24Hi, Waka.
06:25Hi.
06:26Hi, Dave.
06:27How are you?
06:28I'm a good.
06:29A little kiss?
06:30Sure.
06:31Who's doing who?
06:33Cheek.
06:36Second for good measure.
06:37Oh, sorry.
06:38So rude.
06:39Might as well go third.
06:42Oh, yep.
06:43Okay.
06:44That was too soon.
06:45That was a bit wet, that one.
06:46I'm so sorry.
06:47I'll just...
06:51Make this exercise ball go as far away as possible from you and have it come back.
06:57Once the exercise ball has left you...
07:00You may not take a step without forfeiting an attempt.
07:03Furthest return Journey wins.
07:06You have 15 minutes.
07:08Your time starts now.
07:12Alright, I love that.
07:14How can I do this?
07:16Yes.
07:17So I can have as multiple attempts.
07:18Yep.
07:19Do whatever I like.
07:20Alright.
07:21Well, not whatever.
07:22Well, within reason.
07:23Do whatever you like.
07:24I can't do whatever I like.
07:25I can do...
07:26There's certain rules.
07:27Yeah, there's rules.
07:28You've told me the rules.
07:29Morality.
07:30Yeah, absolutely.
07:31Morality?
07:32Did you say morality?
07:33Yeah, there's kind of moral boundaries that are kind of limiting your behaviour currently.
07:34Well, I suppose they aren't.
07:35I'm not even thinking about it.
07:36That's subconscious, isn't it?
07:37So, Lisa Tom, what moral boundaries are holding you back from doing what you actually want
07:46to do?
07:47Tax fraud.
07:48That's your first go-to.
07:51I don't think you have to pay tax if you earn under $18,000.
07:55Oh!
07:56I love this.
08:01I feel like this is nerd on nerd action.
08:04I love it.
08:06So, I've got to say, Lesser Tom, Tommy, was this the beginning of something?
08:10I hoped it was.
08:12Were you looking for favourable treatment?
08:14No, Tom just hadn't had some action in a long time.
08:18Jock on nerd action.
08:23Okay, who's first?
08:24First to have a ball while they throw a ball at the wall.
08:27It's two people whose names I really wish rhymed with ball.
08:30It's Lisa and Waka.
08:31I just put this and I can come back without moving.
08:41Wow.
08:44Oh no.
08:48It's not too bad.
08:49That's pretty good.
08:50I'm going to look for another way now.
08:51I have to trust my tape.
08:52Hold on.
08:53Alright.
08:54I know it's strange.
08:55But...
08:56Okay.
08:5790 seconds.
08:58I'm going to try and use gravity.
08:59How many minutes have I got left?
09:00We've got one minute and 57 seconds.
09:04Oh my god.
09:05That was pretty good.
09:06That was pretty good.
09:07That was pretty good.
09:08That was pretty good.
09:09That was pretty good.
09:10That was pretty good.
09:11Yes.
09:12You moved.
09:13I'm sorry.
09:1415 seconds.
09:15I'm just going to throw it back just in case by magic it comes back.
09:18Oh.
09:19Fingers crossed.
09:20Yep.
09:21Stop.
09:22I'm just going to throw it back just in case by magic it comes back.
09:24Oh my god.
09:25That was pretty good.
09:26That was pretty good.
09:27Yes.
09:28You moved.
09:29I'm sorry.
09:3015 seconds.
09:31I'm just going to throw it back just in case by magic it comes back.
09:36Oh.
09:37Fingers crossed.
09:39Yep.
09:4012 seconds.
09:49Maybe if I wish hard enough it might come back.
09:52I think potentially at this point we may have to give up her.
09:59I liked your approach there Lisa where you thought you'd just throw it in the air because
10:03you've got nothing to lose and hope that by magic it'll just come back.
10:06You just never know.
10:07Yeah.
10:08You know like sometimes things just change and it might have kind of come back.
10:13Like there's magic in the world.
10:14I believe in magic.
10:15Yes.
10:16Okay.
10:17Waka.
10:18You had mixed results with the string.
10:19You had a bit of a shit sticky tape situation.
10:21Yeah.
10:22Once you made decision and it didn't work well your brains got panic.
10:27Yes.
10:28That's why.
10:29Yeah.
10:30I used taille.
10:33That was the second best option.
10:35Okay.
10:36Because at that point you're in a panic.
10:37You don't have much time to go so you just thought I'll just fling it at shit.
10:40Yeah.
10:41I know.
10:42I did the best job but I saw that.
10:43That looks so bad.
10:48Okay.
10:49Well I feel like we need to know the measurements now.
10:50Well Waka by throwing it at a stack of tyres when there was an extremely flat wall right
10:53behind him.
10:54That was bad.
10:55I know.
10:56Your result was 7.42 metres.
10:57Lisa's reliance on golf then gravity then God but ultimately with the string got 14.2 metres.
11:07It's not bad.
11:08Okay.
11:09Well it's time for an ad break.
11:10So just like a big red ball with Lisa casting spells behind it, we hope you come back.
11:20Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster.
11:34Give us a recap my little chap.
11:37Our contestants are sending exercise balls away and hoping they come back and the furthest
11:41return journey without taking a step wins.
11:43Next up, one's a boomer, the other one likes meringues.
11:46Let's put them together and watch them boomerang.
11:48It's Dave and Emma.
11:50Alright, let's go for his safety.
11:52Alright, that's coming back.
11:57No steps.
11:58That's a keeper.
11:59Okay.
12:00Do you have any remote controlled cars?
12:01I think there's one in the shed.
12:03If I deflate this and then use a drone, I think I can get this done.
12:07Do you come here often?
12:08Yeah.
12:09Yeah.
12:10Yeah, heaps.
12:11Go find me a drone.
12:12Go.
12:13Go find a drone.
12:14Go.
12:15Go.
12:16Go find a drone.
12:17Go.
12:18Go find a drone.
12:19Really need that to stay in there.
12:20This is going to protect me when the drone brings it back to me.
12:26Is it coming backwards?
12:27It's coming backwards.
12:28Okay.
12:29From wherever it's stopped there.
12:30Nice.
12:31You're going to have another go?
12:32How much time do I have?
12:33Two minutes and 27 seconds.
12:34Okay.
12:35Send the drone.
12:36Ball, fly away.
12:37Come on, ball, come on.
12:38Come on, ball.
12:39Come on, ball.
12:40Come on, ball.
12:41Come on, ball.
12:42Come on, ball.
12:43Come on.
12:44Come on, ball.
12:45Come on.
12:46Come on, ball.
12:47Come on.
12:48Come on.
12:49Come on.
12:50Come on, ball.
12:51Come on.
12:52Come on, ball.
12:53Come on.
12:54Come on, ball.
12:55Come on, ball.
12:56Come on.
12:57Go, ball.
12:58Please go away from me.
13:00Make me a winner.
13:04That seems to be a long way.
13:06I think this is a win if you can come back.
13:08I think you can come back now.
13:10Or keep going if you like.
13:12You decide.
13:13Time?
13:14One minute.
13:15Please come back.
13:16Stay in the air.
13:17Stay up.
13:18I want you back.
13:20Where did you go?
13:21You're not going to turn back?
13:22You're crazy.
13:23What time?
13:2443 seconds.
13:25All right.
13:26Come back, ball.
13:27I think it's landed itself.
13:28Come back.
13:29I think it can't handle the weight.
13:31She's struggling.
13:33Oh, no.
13:3420 seconds.
13:35You're running out of power.
13:36I'm running out of time.
13:38It's so close.
13:39Please come back.
13:41Oh, yes.
13:42Come on.
13:43Six seconds.
13:46God damn you.
13:49It had the vibe of such victory.
13:51Yeah, it did.
13:52Why did you go so far away?
13:54We bit off more than we could chew.
13:56God damn it.
14:04So, Emma, you must have been very proud of your first attempt there.
14:07Yeah.
14:08I was happy it came back to me.
14:09I'm more concerned about the fact that this is not the first time Husey and I have thought
14:12of the same thing.
14:15I don't know.
14:16I'm not comfortable with that.
14:20So, you're pretty happy with the remote controlled car?
14:22That worked really well.
14:23Would have you liked it if the editors didn't include your second attempt?
14:26I think that...
14:27You could have looked like a real chap.
14:29That would have been awesome, but they didn't do that, did they?
14:32So, Dave, just to be clear, you were controlling the drone by yelling at it?
14:36Ah, look, let's not get into that.
14:39The fact is, it was my...
14:41The drone was my idea.
14:42No one else thought of a drone.
14:43It was a brilliant idea.
14:45And it was almost probably the best task ever in the history of this show.
14:50Ah, so I'm guessing Emma's first attempt was the winner.
14:54Emma's first attempt was a successful return distance of 49.05 metres.
15:01OK, so that was quite a distance round the back of the house.
15:04And then Dave's drone distance would have been 51.2 if it came back,
15:09but of course it didn't, which means we'd go with his safety of...
15:12Waka, you'll remember that, the wall behind.
15:1515.6 metres.
15:16All right.
15:17OK.
15:18So there's still a score there.
15:20All right, well, give us another then.
15:21Whilst I may not exactly have consented to his kiss on the lips,
15:24I consent to him being next.
15:25It's Tommy Little.
15:27Hey, is there keys in that car?
15:29That's actually been a bit of an issue recently, but...
15:31What do you mean?
15:32Nothing.
15:33Let's check the car.
15:34OK.
15:35So, I'm going to need you to drive.
15:37OK.
15:38I'm just going to put the ball in the passenger seat.
15:40OK.
15:41And then drive it as far as you can.
15:42OK.
15:43And then come back.
15:44OK.
15:45And go!
15:48OK.
15:49I have no faith in this van coming back.
15:58So, yeah.
16:02Pretty lonely way of doing things.
16:06Come on.
16:07Yeah!
16:08Hi, Tommy.
16:09You've got 15 seconds.
16:11No worries.
16:12Thanks, Tommy.
16:13You did wonderful.
16:15You did too.
16:17Tommy, did you just do something clever?
16:18It was very...
16:19It was...
16:20I'm saying...
16:21It was very disorienting.
16:22I was expecting you to deflate the ball, shove it up your arse or put it in your pants.
16:31To see you actually do something clever.
16:32I think it really threw all of us, didn't it?
16:33Is that within the rules that this time we can just do something?
16:34Have you also instructed someone to take yours away?
16:35Have you also instructed someone to take yours away?
16:36OK, well, how did he do?
16:37The total thing is...
16:38It was very...
16:39It was very...
16:40It was...
16:41I'm saying...
16:42It was very disorienting.
16:43I was expecting you to deflate the ball, shove it up your arse or put it in your pants.
16:48To see you actually do something clever, I think it really threw all of us, didn't it?
16:52Is that within the rules that this time we can just do something?
16:55Dave, you also instructed someone to take yours away.
16:58LAUGHTER
17:03OK, well, how did he do?
17:05The total distance, including the 19-point turn I had to do to turn the van around, was 774 metres.
17:16So that means one point goes to Wacker, Lisa gets two, Dave gets three, Emma gets four,
17:20but the winner of the task with the driving is Tommy with five points!
17:23CHEERING
17:25And then for the overall episode scores, we've got three fours at the bottom
17:29and two nines at the top, with Emma and Tommy leading so far!
17:32CHEERING
17:37OK, lad, another task, please!
17:39Yeah, we could, or maybe let's bloody head to the pub.
17:42LAUGHTER
17:43Down some brewskis and watch the footy, or have an arm wrestle, or...
17:48This will make more sense when you watch the task.
17:50LAUGHTER
18:08Hi, Emma.
18:09Hi, Tom.
18:11LAUGHTER
18:12That's a shitter.
18:14Oh.
18:15Oh, oh.
18:16The art department wins an award or someone gets arrested, mate.
18:19Because that's not right.
18:22Oh!
18:23Can I pee, or...?
18:24No, thank you.
18:26Oh, goodness.
18:28I feel like this should play into my strengths.
18:31I feel like it's the only task so far where I've walked out and gone,
18:35comfortable.
18:36Tommy?
18:37I think you're going to be right.
18:38You do?
18:39LAUGHTER
18:41Be a man.
18:42Manliest man wins.
18:44You have 30 minutes.
18:46Your time starts now.
18:4930 minutes?
18:50That's right.
18:52Yeah.
18:53So how do I be a man?
18:54I've got to be a man.
18:55What do men like?
18:56Would you like to know my f... thoughts?
18:58Initially, it was just lift up the toilet and throw it off the balcony.
19:02Men like Quentin Tarantino.
19:05What if I make a Quentin Tarantino-style film about pissing standing up?
19:10A lot of foot shots.
19:11Yeah.
19:12You know what the most manly thing to be is?
19:14Hmm?
19:15To show your vulnerability.
19:18Maybe I might do a day in the life of a man.
19:22Oh, wow.
19:23Yeah.
19:24We're going to be the man?
19:25Oh, actually, no, that's actually a good point.
19:26I could get you to be the man and I could direct you.
19:28Oh.
19:29Oh, that's good.
19:30I think what makes a man manly is always women.
19:37So you think what makes a man manly is women?
19:40Yeah.
19:41Protect women.
19:42Are you trying to use this show as a vehicle to impress women?
19:45So I have to ask, why was there a shit in Hughesy's toilet and no one else's?
19:58Because none of the others had one in there.
20:01Oh, no.
20:02Did you do something early on?
20:03I didn't shit in the toilet.
20:04Do you think I was going to eat it or something?
20:08Why?
20:09What?
20:10Out of all the steps, why was that the next one?
20:13And also, just to be clear, Hughesy, it's very manly to own up to something.
20:18I didn't shit in the toilet.
20:22Oh, well, they've got their promo.
20:27OK, which man are we getting to see first?
20:38Being a manly man in the style of every man's favourite man, it's Emma Holland.
20:42Really?
20:44Oh, well, you know.
20:45Good job, Bobby.
20:46itten in
20:52Can I get you a drink?
21:22Emma, the crowd loved it.
21:43So just to be clear, did you piss all over the seat and then put the seat up after that?
21:48Yeah, and then I flushed and then did a shit and gave it to you too.
21:52I feel like this came from a real place though, have you had to sit through a lot of men banging
21:59on about how great Quentin Tarantino is?
22:02Yeah, I've met men.
22:03Yeah.
22:04He is great.
22:06Yeah, of course you would love that Feeney McFreak.
22:11It was quite satirical and it was making fun of men, but it was so accurate that men in
22:17the crowd were going, oh cool Quentin Tarantino.
22:19Yeah.
22:20Yeah.
22:21And what is being a man if not oblivious?
22:26Alright, time for something else manly.
22:32Trying to coerce society into making decisions against their wishes through power and influence.
22:37Their ad breaks.
22:38Back soon.
22:40Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster where we're playing for something Dave Hughes' bunion-y
22:57feet have been in.
22:59Connect some dots, Lester Tom.
23:00Our contestants are trying to be really, really manly, or to me, normal.
23:07Next up, of our cast he has the most tattoos and if you think that makes him a bad boy,
23:11oh baby, you've got no idea.
23:14It's Tommy Little.
23:15I think I need to say something.
23:17Something manly.
23:18What we do in this life echoes to eternity.
23:21Ooh.
23:22That's beautiful.
23:24Should I also do a gladiator quote?
23:26I got it!
23:27Gah!
23:28Gah!
23:29Gah!
23:30Gah!
23:31Gah!
23:32Gah!
23:33Gah!
23:34Gah!
23:35Gah!
23:36Gah!
23:37Gah!
23:38Gah!
23:39Gah!
23:40Gah!
23:41Gah!
23:42Gah!
23:43Gah!
23:44Gah!
23:45Gah!
23:46Gah!
23:47Gah!
23:48Gah!
23:49Gah!
23:50Gah!
23:51Gah!
23:52Gah!
23:53Are you not entertained?!
23:57That was good.
23:58That was beautiful.
24:00You think you did well on this one?
24:03Are you kidding?
24:05This could be one of my prouder moments.
24:10Tommy, thanks for that example of toxic masculinity.
24:14Any time, Tom.
24:15Oh, it was very powerful.
24:17It was so fun.
24:18It worked.
24:19I mean, it was very manly.
24:20You had to lift it.
24:21That was heavy.
24:22Yeah, it was heavy.
24:23It was dumb.
24:24Yeah.
24:25It was...
24:26It was fun.
24:27Yeah.
24:28And there was a reference to gladiator.
24:29Yeah!
24:30It's up the Tarantino into the spectrum.
24:32Yeah!
24:33And then afterwards, I went and found Hussie's toy and took a shit in it!
24:36Yes!
24:37Yes!
24:38Yes!
24:39Yes!
24:40Yes!
24:41Yes!
24:42Yes!
24:43Yes!
24:44Yes!
24:45Yes!
24:46I didn't realise we had such a budget we could throw toilets off balconies.
24:49No, I think there was only one.
24:51No, we had to replace it.
24:52It cost $370.
24:53All right.
24:54Um, the only issue is it was very manly.
24:59You had to lift it up.
25:00You threw it off the balcony.
25:01It smashed.
25:02Yes!
25:03You yelled out a gladiator quote.
25:04Yes!
25:05Yes!
25:06But there was just...
25:07We've got a photo of what your face looked like after you let go of the toilet.
25:10Yes.
25:11This will be manly.
25:12Yeah.
25:13All right.
25:14Can I owe me another bloke, please?
25:19Being the manliest man by showing his feminine side, it's Dave Hughes.
25:23You know what I don't do often enough?
25:26I don't cry, man.
25:28I need to cry more.
25:29I need you to lie on the ground.
25:31Okay.
25:32I need you to just tap one leg.
25:35I need you to growl just a little bit.
25:40Just go...
25:41Just do it.
25:42It's okay, buddy.
25:45Each time my mum is we had together.
25:48Me and you.
25:49You are my best friend.
25:51Our family loved you, man.
25:54We miss you, man.
25:57Doggy door, mate.
25:58Never worked it out, did you?
25:59Letting ears.
26:00Barking outside.
26:01Let me in.
26:02It was a way to let yourself in.
26:03It was on hinges.
26:04You idiot.
26:05But that was all right.
26:06We didn't mind.
26:07Because we loved you, man.
26:08I'm going to hug you, man.
26:09I'm going to hug you, man.
26:10I'm going to hug you, man.
26:11I'm going to hug you, mate.
26:12I love you, Barkley.
26:13I love you, Barkley.
26:14All right.
26:15I think I'm done.
26:16I just had an emotional moment with my dog.
26:20I'm going to go now.
26:22I mean, the very first thing you brought in was your dog's ashes.
26:51This is a light entertainment show.
26:54It's supposed to be comedy.
26:55I know, but Tom really turned into him.
26:58That is one of the most uncomfortable moments of my life, I reckon.
27:03Yeah, I appreciate what you did.
27:04And you go above and beyond the call of duty many times.
27:07But being my dog is something I'll never forget.
27:10Aww.
27:11So if you ever want to come round to my house, I'd love to put a lead on you and walk around.
27:18All right.
27:20Test me with some more testosterone, please.
27:23If you remove one of the C's, her full name is legitimately an anagram for the word masculine,
27:28which means her whole name is an anagram for C masculine.
27:31Let's C masculine with Lisa McHugh.
27:33Unbelievable.
27:34So this first scene, you're just waking up in the morning.
27:39Okay.
27:40And then I'm going to...
27:41I've got YouTube open.
27:43Okay, so you kind of know where we're going, okay?
27:45Oh, all right.
27:46Okay.
27:47It's not working.
28:00That's what I'm trying to get, okay?
28:02Yeah, so just roll over and we'll keep playing.
28:04Okay.
28:09It's not that one.
28:18That one's stuck.
28:19It's a steak.
28:24Okay, here we go.
28:27So we're asleep.
28:32Okay, here we go.
28:52Oh, here we go.
28:57Tom.
29:02I'm getting up.
29:03I can't...
29:04Okay.
29:05I know it doesn't worry you, but...
29:08Oh.
29:09I apologise.
29:10And that is being a man.
29:19Oh, thank God.
29:21I was stuck.
29:22And you don't have YouTube premium.
29:27And I didn't have my glasses and I couldn't see the button.
29:30It was just a disaster.
29:31But you accidentally really honed in on something.
29:34Which was?
29:35Something very manly.
29:36I mean, how many times have you watched a middle-aged man fumble their way through YouTube?
29:42Because they've got no idea what they're doing.
29:45Okay, great.
29:46That was actually what I'm...
29:48It was totally what we were getting at.
29:50All right, it's time for a break.
29:51Have you checked your prostate lately?
29:53Back with more Man Chat soon.
29:57Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster, where we've just been hanging out with our wangs out.
30:15Yes, that's right.
30:16We've had four versions of a man.
30:18Now here's an attempt at Superman.
30:19It's Takashi Wakasugi.
30:21Thank you so much for coming, Tomasina.
30:24You are so beautiful.
30:25My heart's burning like a global warming.
30:27I'm so hot.
30:28You are so hot.
30:29What, you want to drink anything?
30:30A bit early, but let's have a few cocktails.
30:32Cocktails?
30:33Any time.
30:34Very beautiful with cocktails.
30:36She's a bitch.
30:38She betrayed me and she stole my money.
30:42I'm gonna kill her.
30:44I can feel something.
30:46Someone watching.
30:47There!
30:48See you in hell.
30:51Stop!
30:52Tomasina!
30:59Wakas!
31:00You are so beautiful.
31:01I love you.
31:02Oh!
31:05Wakas!
31:06No!
31:07You don't look okay.
31:31Sorry for the wait.
31:33Let's talk about your dream.
31:37Cheers for.
31:38Our.
31:39Future.
31:48So, Wakas, what was you thinking here?
31:52I'm strong, protect, and still make the promise.
31:57Bring the cocktails.
31:58Yeah?
31:59You took a bullet as well?
32:01Yep.
32:02Yeah, between the eyes.
32:03Yeah.
32:04I like the way you dive through the air,
32:06and you took all the bullets in your chest,
32:08and then you turned around and it was in your head.
32:11Lots of things going on, yeah.
32:13Yeah.
32:14And also now I understand why you guys kiss each other.
32:18Tom is very attractive.
32:20Attractive.
32:21I must say, this is one of the hardest tasks I've ever had to score.
32:28Mm.
32:29Because they're all very, very manly.
32:30But I'm going to give one point to Tommy.
32:32Okay.
32:33But that's just, that's where we're at.
32:34That's the base manly level, is smashing a toilet and yelling out a gladiator quote.
32:38That's where we're at.
32:39I'm really happy to take his one.
32:41I don't think one is very good.
32:42No.
32:43I'll take you one.
32:44A man would never let you.
32:45Okay.
32:46All right.
32:47Very good.
32:48Well, I'm going to give two points to Lisa, because fumbling through YouTube was still very
32:52manly, despite that being a mistake.
32:54Three points to Emma for the Tarantino film, because it was great.
32:58Oh, unpopular opinion.
33:00Maybe you haven't watched this show, Emma.
33:03I don't give a shit what they think.
33:06That's been firmly established.
33:08And if you are on Reddit at the moment, you can all go f*** yourselves.
33:13I'm going to give four points to Hughesy, because being honest with your emotions, it's
33:17a lot.
33:18But I'm going to give five points to Waka, because I mean, that was just a bloodthirsty,
33:23entertaining look at manliness.
33:27All right.
33:28Slice me up a fresh task, please, and lesser Tom.
33:32Sure.
33:33Like Joseph taking his wife to the beach, this one's about to get Mary Shelley.
33:52Tommy.
33:53Hi, Dave.
33:54How are you?
33:55I'm okay.
33:56It's good.
33:57Mm-mm.
34:00Oopsie.
34:02Dress as Frankenstein, then video call someone in your contacts.
34:06If they allude to how you're dressed.
34:08You must end your phone call immediately.
34:11If you tell them not to mention how you're dressed, you will be disqualified.
34:14Best dress Frankenstein wins.
34:17All other people will be scored based on who has the longest video call.
34:21You have 15 minutes to dress.
34:22Then five minutes to begin your video call.
34:25Your time starts now.
34:27All right.
34:28Frankenstein.
34:29Frankenstein.
34:30I'm going to go and get dressed as Frankenstein.
34:31I'm going to go and get dressed as Frankenstein.
34:35Okay, great.
34:36So a simple one.
34:37But just to be clear, they don't have to mention that they're Frankenstein.
34:39No.
34:40They just cannot talk about their appearance.
34:41Any mention of the contestant's appearance, they need to hang up immediately and that's
34:43the end of the call.
34:44And that's it.
34:45All right.
34:46Who are we going to see first?
34:47Calling their family.
34:48It's Tommy and Emma.
34:49Yeah.
34:50I'm going to get some stuff.
34:51What does Frankenstein look like?
34:52How long have we got?
34:5312 minutes and 18 seconds.
34:54Okay.
34:56Okay.
34:57I'm ready.
35:02Okay.
35:03I'm going to try my little sister.
35:04I've got an ace up my sleeve.
35:05My dad, he's pretty blind.
35:09I think I'm just going to talk at her.
35:11Okay.
35:12Not let her have a word in.
35:13Oh my God.
35:14I look so green.
35:18Are you busy?
35:19Yeah.
35:20Oh my God.
35:21I have to tell you a story.
35:22Frankenstein is a frame story written in epistolary form.
35:26Set in the 18th century, it documents a fictional correspondence between Captain Robert Walton
35:31and his sister Margaret Walton Seville.
35:34Hello, Pa.
35:35How are you?
35:37I'm good.
35:38How are you?
35:39Yeah, I'm pretty good.
35:40I'm pretty good.
35:41After departing from Archangel, the ship is trapped by pack ice on the journey across the Arctic Ocean.
35:46He sees in Walton the same obsession that he has destroyed him and recounts the story of his life's miniserie.
35:54And family.
35:55Are you busy?
35:56No.
35:57Okay, great.
35:58From a young age, Victor has a strong desire to understand the world.
36:00Hey, are the mighty pies going to win tonight?
36:02Well, nobody thinks they are.
36:04I think, uh...
36:05He thinks it's a bunk call.
36:06Honestly, it's just a video of his neck.
36:07Tomorrow?
36:08He's actually having...
36:09Well, we can talk about something else if you want to.
36:13You know what?
36:14Now I'm going to keep reading this to you.
36:15Victor buries himself in his experiments to deal with the grief.
36:17I'm around next weekend.
36:18Are you up for a break of you or something like that?
36:21This is just a personal call.
36:23Can I hang up soon?
36:25Whatever you want.
36:26Oh, thanks for calling.
36:27Love you.
36:28Miss you.
36:29And I'll see you, um...
36:30I'll see you next weekend.
36:31Okay.
36:32Will do.
36:33Okay, bye.
36:34Bye.
36:36Do you have anything else to say?
36:38Anything to comment on?
36:39Um, are you dressed like Frankenstein?
36:41Oh.
36:44Sorry for swearing.
36:46He just thought it was a phone call.
36:48The video was on his ear the whole time.
36:50Except, did you see right at the end?
36:53He's just seen a green man that he's just been chatting to.
36:59With a panicked look on his face.
37:01I'm just like, oh, shit.
37:03He's on to me.
37:05I reckon that went okay.
37:06It felt like a long call.
37:08Surely I'm going to win this one.
37:15You made a really good point, Tommy.
37:16Let's just have a look at the moment that Tommy's dad hung up.
37:19And Tommy's dad hung up on him.
37:26It does look like he saw your green face for the first time.
37:29Oh, I still don't think he knows.
37:31Because we had to get a release form to sign.
37:34And I thought, Dad's going to have some questions about why I filmed his phone call.
37:38And I said, Dad, can you sign this?
37:40And all he said was, when am I going to be on TV?
37:48But you really lucked onto something.
37:50Because he answered a video call as an audio call.
37:52Yes.
37:53So he wasn't looking at you the whole time.
37:55Now, did it feel like a long phone call?
37:57It was the longest phone call I've ever had with my dad.
38:00Okay.
38:01So it took a task for you to bond with your dad.
38:04Yeah, I don't think that's unusual.
38:07Okay, well, Emma, great strategy.
38:09You justified your appearance straight away.
38:11And then you just barreled into a really long story that your sister didn't want to hear.
38:14I pulled out the Wikipedia page for Frankenstein and just read from top to bottom.
38:19You just kept reading the whole thing, just kept barrelling through.
38:21I feel like you've got the kooky, confident sister vibes from the way that she was putting up with you.
38:27I don't think it's the weirdest phone call we've ever had.
38:31Well, I feel like we need to know how long those phone calls went for.
38:34The longest call Tommy's ever had with his dad?
38:37Five minutes and 57 seconds.
38:39Emma's wicky feet, on the other hand, went for 13 minutes and 26 seconds.
38:49Alright.
38:50Who's our next cold, covered in makeup caller?
38:53Calling their son and their friend respectively, and hopefully also respectfully, it's Lisa and Rucker.
38:59I didn't worry about the bottom half, because I kind of figure that it's kind of...
39:03But then I'm going to see the bottom half.
39:07Two questions?
39:08Okay.
39:09It's a bit dangerous to put glue to my body, skin.
39:14What's happening in your neck?
39:15That's...
39:16Frankenstein had the neck cut off.
39:18Just had to put it back on.
39:19Oh, okay.
39:20I'm going to call my son.
39:22Not my mum, not my mum.
39:24My mum.
39:25Scary.
39:26Hi, June.
39:27My comedian friend.
39:32Hi mate, how are you?
39:33Are you good?
39:34Hey, I was just ringing to see, is the shower still leaking?
39:37Hey.
39:38Hello.
39:39Hurry.
39:40What the ****?
39:41How are you?
39:42How are you going?
39:43How are you?
39:44How's your gig?
39:45The Melbourne chain of time things.
39:46Do you have a haircut?
39:47Do I have a haircut?
39:48I've just...
39:49Oh!
39:53Why do you look like that?
39:54How many people there?
39:56Why do you look like that?
40:07It wasn't very long was it?
40:08I didn't say anything.
40:09I didn't say anything.
40:10He said, why do you look like that?
40:11Of course!
40:14If he didn't say anything, he's...
40:17an idiot.
40:24Waka, who did you ring up?
40:25Hari.
40:26Hari Jun, my comedian friend.
40:27Oh, he's a comedian?
40:28Yep, he's very funny.
40:29Oh, okay.
40:30Did you just show off that you're on Taskmaster?
40:31No.
40:32No, he's a nice guy and...
40:35Sad, the result, but I'm happy.
40:37Hari's a normal guy.
40:40Oh, so...
40:42You were relieved that your friend was normal?
40:44Yeah.
40:45He didn't ask me.
40:46That's...
40:47his problem.
40:48So, Lisa, you tried to engage your teenage son with a chat about a leaky shower head.
40:53Yeah, look, I thought Oliver would have played ball a little better than he did.
40:56But then, I think I may have overdone it with the hair.
40:58If I had just done the face, he might have just thought,
41:00my mum's got a face mask on, and he might have kept going.
41:03I know now, it's about getting the balance right,
41:05because I don't look great in the morning.
41:07And I think that that's probably...
41:09He kind of is used to seeing a certain decay.
41:13Alright, I think we need to look at the times.
41:14Walker's phone call with his very normal friend lasted 14 seconds.
41:21Yep, but he's normal.
41:23Lisa's phone call with her very normal son lasted 13 seconds.
41:31Alright, sit back and keep your eyes glued to these advertisements.
41:34Unless you're Tommy's dad, then get up close and put your ear to them.
41:37Back soon.
41:38Hello, welcome back to a collection of carefully arranged pixels and sound waves, otherwise known as Taskmaster.
41:58What's happening?
41:59Our contestants are dressing as Frankenstein and trying to have the longest video call they can before someone mentions their appearance.
42:05Next up, he loves an energy drink, but can he become a monster? It's Dave Hughes.
42:09Have you read the book Frankenstein?
42:12I would have, yeah, absolutely I would have, but years ago.
42:15But I know Frankenstein is a monster created by Dr Frankenstein.
42:22Oh, dressed as Frankenstein.
42:24Oh, dressed as Frankenstein.
42:25Frankenstein is not the monster.
42:27Frankenstein's the doctor.
42:30I've already cracked the code here.
42:32Best dressed Frankenstein wins.
42:35So I've got to dress like a doctor.
42:41Alright.
42:45Who are you going to call?
42:46What about Andy Lee?
42:47I'm just going to talk about stuff, yeah?
42:52Hey buddy, how are you going?
42:54Where are you?
42:55Where am I?
42:56I'm just cruising.
42:57Where are you man?
42:58What are you doing?
42:59I'm grilled, I'm about to have a burger.
43:01You're going to have a burger and grilled?
43:03That's cool man.
43:04What sort of burger are you going to have?
43:07What's going on?
43:08So, yeah, you're going...
43:10Well, the Blues are having a good year, aren't they mate?
43:13So, yeah.
43:14Are you...
43:15Are you...
43:16Are you hoping I can skip out?
43:21I'm pretty good.
43:26Well, I had many predictions about you before this show, Husey,
43:29and one of them was not you being across classical literature.
43:32I'm more well read than I look like I am.
43:35So, yeah.
43:36And that was...
43:37I'm so, you dickheads!
43:42I was so impressed.
43:43That...
43:44I found out then.
43:47Can I point out that even Emma didn't realise
43:49that Frankenstein described the Doctor,
43:51and she read the entire Wikipedia page.
44:01Just to be clear, so whoever was the best Frankenstein
44:03just gets five points.
44:04That's right.
44:05And we don't judge them by the length of the phone call.
44:06That's right.
44:07But Husey's on five.
44:08Yes.
44:09And then one point goes to Lisa,
44:10because she had the shortest phone call.
44:11Then we have Wacka with two points,
44:13Tommy with three, Emma with four,
44:14but Dave Hughes wins the task with five points.
44:16APPLAUSE
44:19All right, you little Frankensteins.
44:21Up on the stage for the last task of the show.
44:24All right, who's doing the honours this time, squirt?
44:31Dave Hughes will read the task.
44:33Choose an item to place in the vessel
44:36to raise the water level.
44:38Once an item has been touched,
44:40it must go in the jar.
44:42If you cause the jar to overflow,
44:45you are eliminated.
44:47Last person standing wins.
44:50Lisa, please select an item.
44:52I'm going to start off really, really conservatively.
44:56You know, just to kind of get us going.
44:58Wacka.
44:59Nice.
45:01Oh, okay.
45:02I'm going to put Star Fishing back home.
45:04I'm going to write my own story.
45:07Are you the doctor or the monster?
45:09I'm going with Tommy Little.
45:12That's in.
45:22Dave, did you just touch an item?
45:27You have to put that item in when it's your turn.
45:31Dave, you must select the poker chips.
45:33I was hoping one would drop off.
45:34It's touching liquid.
45:35Oh.
45:36There we go.
45:37Oh, look at that.
45:38What's he doing?
45:39Some of it's touching liquid.
45:40No way.
45:41It's touching liquid.
45:42I don't know what I'm doing.
45:43I'm just going to try this.
45:44Oh.
45:46There we go.
45:47Oh, look at that.
45:49What's he doing?
45:52Some of it's touching liquid.
45:53No way.
45:54It's touching liquid.
45:55I don't know what I'm doing.
45:56I'm just going to try this.
45:57Oh.
45:58It's touching liquid.
45:59I don't know what I'm doing.
46:00Just going to try this.
46:03Oh!
46:06That was overflow.
46:07See you later, guys.
46:12Mm, that was not a ping pong ball.
46:14That is a ping pong ball filled with concrete.
46:19I don't see any overflow.
46:26It's in.
46:29Oh!
46:32It's in.
46:36It's in.
46:39It's in.
46:40Oh.
46:41It is a weighted ducky.
46:48There's overflow.
46:49Dave Hughes has been eliminated.
46:52OK.
46:53Tommy, please select an item.
46:55Little dog.
46:56All right.
46:57That jar is certainly more than half full, but I'm optimistic we will find a winner.
47:11See you after the break.
47:12Whoo!
47:13Whoo!
47:14Whoo!
47:15Whoo!
47:16Whoo!
47:17Whoo!
47:18Whoo!
47:19Whoo!
47:20Whoo!
47:21Whoo!
47:22Whoo!
47:23Whoo!
47:24Whoo!
47:25Whoo!
47:26Whoo!
47:37Welcome back to Taskmaster.
47:38We've had blokes jokes and things that don't float, but we're not done yet.
47:42That's right.
47:43We're in the middle of a live task.
47:44We're down to the final two.
47:45The person who overflows this receptacle will be eliminated.
47:49Emma, please select an item.
47:50It's in.
47:51It's in.
47:52Oh, no.
47:53It's real cheap.
47:54Emma Holland is the winner.
47:55Oh, thank you.
47:56Well done.
47:57Well done.
47:58Well done.
47:59Well done.
48:00Well done.
48:01Well done.
48:02Well done.
48:03Well done.
48:04All right, mop up the stage so we can mop up the scores and find a winner.
48:18All right, so how do we hand out the scores there?
48:23Well, Lisa gets one point, Dave on two, Micah three, Tommy gets four points, but Emma wins
48:28in task with five points.
48:31Okay, before we get our episode winner, how's the series looking after three episodes?
48:36Well, Lisa, Tommy, Waka and Dave are all bumping shoulders in the pack, but a length ahead is Emma on 54 points.
48:47So who's the episode winner?
48:49Lisa's in last place with eight points.
48:50Then we've got Waka with 14, Dave with 15, Tommy with 17, but winning a second episode is Emma with 21 points.
48:56All right, congratulations, Emma.
48:59Go up on stage and claim your swanky crack.
49:04So what have we learned?
49:05Well, Husey taught everyone that Frankenstein is the doctor because, incredibly, he's read the book.
49:11But more importantly, he's learning right now that, in Murder on the Orient Express style, it was all of us who crapped in his dunning.
49:22Once more, well done, Emma, and well done to all of us for another cracker of an episode.
49:26Ninety-nine!
49:27No one ever thinks about what it's like to be a taskmaster when you have to deal with all this shit.
49:47Don't talk to me.
49:54Oh my God!
49:56Just gotta be honest, I don't know what the is going on.
49:59What's going on?
50:00What's going on?