- 4/13/2025
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Short filmTranscript
00:00No!
00:23Touching creep!
00:25Hey, hold on.
00:38Vodka. Neat. Please.
00:43Thank you. I miss having a man around to take her out the trash.
00:48You got dumped?
00:54Yeah.
00:56Sucks.
01:01Did you love her?
01:03Not sure it mattered.
01:05Her 50,000 followers loved her, and that's all she cared about.
01:08Well, if she's too busy counting likes to see you, she doesn't know you.
01:13And her opinion is shit.
01:18Okay, it is time for our lovely wild shackles to get up and wag those tails.
01:25Come on, wag them!
01:26Yeah!
01:28Oh, dude, this is what I was telling you about!
01:31We're not trying to run...
01:34Just to fly harder only, But we, Just to fly…
01:57�-!!!
01:58But we are looking for Gopping.
01:59You can love that woman.
02:00How about a game of pool?
02:13Bet you 300, I'll win.
02:26You're enjoying this.
02:27Come on, get over here.
02:31Show me how it's done.
02:33Yes ma'am.
02:37There we go.
02:42Okay.
02:45And then, fire!
02:49How old are you?
02:50Never mind, don't answer that.
02:54I love your accent.
02:56Australian?
02:57Sort of.
02:58My mom moved to Adelaide when I was a baby.
03:01And then we moved back when I was 16.
03:04Eight ball, corner pocket.
03:06Boom!
03:14My Benjamins, please.
03:20You carry that much gash?
03:23Yeah.
03:24But that was sus.
03:25I feel like I've been hustled.
03:26That was sus.
03:27I feel like I've been hustled.
03:29No.
03:30No.
03:31You're a wonderful teacher.
03:33I wish I got his number.
03:47I wish I got his number.
04:01My name.
04:02My name.
04:04Class.
04:09We have class.
04:10Dakota, honey wake up, it's our first day.
04:13Already made coffee.
04:14Best daughter in the world.
04:18Ugh, Mom, you need a shower.
04:23Mm, yeah, I do.
04:40Oh!
04:42Oh no, this is humiliating.
04:45I can't go in there looking like I bled all over myself.
04:50Not to mention I'm nearly twice people's ages.
04:54Mom, I must have closed my jetpack on the end of-
05:01Mom, yes!
05:03How'd you get to be so awesome?
05:09Alright, I love you. I gotta get you a glass.
05:11Alright, bye.
05:15Hello?
05:20Hi, Caitlin. This is Helen Brooks.
05:24Who's Brooks? Uh, hello?
05:26You weren't, you got my notice, I hope.
05:28Of course, yes.
05:30Now you quit in order to pursue a degree at Warren University, correct?
05:34Yeah, that's right.
05:35I would like to employ your matchmaking skills.
05:38I'll continue your weekly assistant wage.
05:40I'm sure you could use some money.
05:42Oh, well I definitely could, but-
05:44My son, Julien, is attending graduate school.
05:47Need to keep him away from gold digging and slutty bar types.
05:50And steer him back to his charming ex-girlfriend, Gabriella Warren.
05:55Now it's very important. Our livelihood depends on it.
05:59Sounds easy enough.
06:00Excellent.
06:01And if you can secure an engagement with Gabriella, you can expect a year's wages bonus on top of it.
06:09Oh, wow.
06:11You can count on me, Ms. Brooks.
06:13Sending you his contact card now. Good luck.
06:19That's a $40,000 bonus.
06:25I can't see this photo at all.
06:43Get this kid any worse?
06:53Well, if everyone could just sign in using the QR code before we dive in, please.
07:05No, damn it. No, no, no, no.
07:08Of course I would forget to plug in my phone last night.
07:13Excuse me, sir. Do you have a paper sign in? My phone died.
07:28It's you.
07:32It's you.
07:34Oh, really nice, um, to see you.
07:40So, moist?
07:44Hmm.
07:45Okay. You're a baby.
07:47How are you, professor?
07:49I'm a TA, actually. I'm a grad student.
07:52So, why don't you put your name, email, and phone number down here?
07:57Uh, Caitlin.
07:58Why don't you take a seat, up front? I want a good view.
08:12I want a good view.
08:13I want a good view.
08:26All right. Into the snake pit.
08:28Good move.
08:30Good move.
08:31I bet it was really hard for you to see from the back.
08:34Wow. Respect your elders.
08:38I like your shirt. You are so brave.
08:42Hi.
08:45It's my daughter's. I did not plan on wearing this today.
08:48How old is your daughter?
08:5018. She's actually a student here, too.
08:54Shut up.
08:55So, what are you like? 50?
09:00Caitlin.
09:02I'm Mallory. You look really good for 50.
09:05Gabriella. Gabriella Warren.
09:09And that's her? Julian's ex? Seems awful. What would Helen want with her?
09:15Oh, how funny. Warren liked the school.
09:19Yeah, my dad donated a hundred mil, so they named the whole school after him.
09:26Wow. Wow.
09:31Okay. That's what Helen sees in her.
09:34Gabs, you're totally gonna ace this class. Look at that poor TA.
09:39He's totally still simping over you.
09:41You know, I heard that he rebounded with some bar whore last night.
09:55Whatever. Now that he's slumming it, he'll miss me more.
10:01Welcome to microeconomics, everyone.
10:06Uh...
10:11Professor Nelson will be back next class, but, uh, in the meantime, we're gonna take a quick poll, so could everyone hit that link, please?
10:22Maybe for two.
10:48See you, Gabby?
10:50Yeah.
10:52Thanks. You saved me.
11:00You can keep him if you want.
11:02Oh, no. I couldn't.
11:04I insist.
11:06As mine is yours.
11:09I need to pee.
11:12Caitlin, wait.
11:13Wait.
11:14I can't stop thinking about you.
11:17And now you're in my class.
11:19It's gotta be fate, right?
11:21Crisis agenda's playing next week.
11:23They are my favorite.
11:25Come with me.
11:27As my girlfriend.
11:28I...
11:29I...
11:30I really gotta go.
11:31I'll...
11:32I'll be right back.
11:34It's...
11:37Helen Brooks' son?
11:39Why would he be calling me?
11:41You better come back.
11:42You'd better come back.
11:47Holy hell, that is Julian Brooks.
11:55Fuck! You hooked up with Helen Brooks' son.
11:59How am I supposed to take this job now?
12:02He is young.
12:04But he's beautiful.
12:06Smart.
12:08Rich.
12:10You think she meant to be together?
12:13Stop it!
12:16It's too messy working for Helen.
12:19I think I want to give Julian a chance.
12:23I don't like this.
12:27I don't like this.
12:31Wake up, Caitlyn. Julian's an entitled rich child with no idea who or what he wants.
12:40He's nothing more than a payday.
12:42Mission Warren Brooks accepted.
12:54Make it rain Cupid's fucking arrows.
13:13Hey there.
13:15You are a sight for sore eyes.
13:17Hi, Bobby.
13:19Come here, come here, come here.
13:20I want to see my little money magnet.
13:22Come on, come on, come on.
13:24You know, for an old broad, you really do know how to shake that tail and reel that dough in.
13:29Wow, thanks, Bobby. That means a lot.
13:31You did some really great sales last night, baby.
13:34Real great.
13:35But I got a question.
13:36When were you planning on cutting me in?
13:37What?
13:41Security camera.
13:42Oh, hey there.
13:43Yeah.
13:46Yeah, I saw you.
13:47I saw that John gave you a wad of cash and then you fucked on my pool table.
13:53Shit!
13:54Totally forgot about the cameras.
13:56Julian empties my brain.
13:59Baby, baby, baby, don't be ashamed.
14:01That was some hot stuff.
14:03I watched it a few times.
14:04No, you've got it drunk.
14:05This is what we're going to do.
14:07I'm going to drum up some jaunts for you and then we'll split it 50-50.
14:11No, Bobby.
14:12He would never pay for sex.
14:13I would never do that.
14:14It was a bet.
14:15I'm not a goddamn moron, Katie.
14:18Now, come on, you don't like this deal?
14:20We're gonna rip a dayshade.
14:21That means you owe me that two weeks advance I gave you.
14:24This is crazy, Bobby.
14:26That advance went towards my rent.
14:28I am absolutely not a hooker.
14:31Oh, yeah.
14:32And my balls taste like bubble gum.
14:35Ugh.
14:36You know,
14:38there are plenty of ways to earn it, baby.
14:42Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
14:46Hey, we're closed.
14:47Get out of here.
14:50Get the fuck away from here.
14:52I wasn't gonna look for you.
14:54Wait a minute.
14:55You're the guy.
14:56Huh?
14:57You're the John from the video?
14:58video what the hell are you talking about oh let me go you pretty boy that seems like you can't do
15:04much from there i got you both on videos america's sluttiest home videos that's just gonna fuck up
15:10her life but i'll gladly put you down to her shit pile too yeah it's messed up she got us
15:16listen you don't have the balls to off me i know that so this is what we're gonna do give you
15:23ten thousand dollars and that video it disappears okay i think you underestimate my connections
15:28you're going to destroy that hard drive and apologize to caitlin or else i make a call
15:39you got me you're pretty good you know what the price just went up about twenty thousand dollars
15:51now no need julian we're good
15:55you slutty little thief you know bobby a few nights ago you partied with some very young girls with
16:10very bad fake ids i wonder if that's on here i dictate the terms now this comes home with me
16:18i'm sure your tech challenged ass didn't think to make copies i am going to leave here keep my money
16:27and never have to see your nasty face or balls ever again now you can suck it scumbag i quit
16:39holy shit that was amazing you were amazing how did you know that i was about to
16:50so
17:04you
17:09it's really in a
17:11I need you
17:31Now
17:32Get in the car
17:33Your wish is my command
17:41What?
17:54What's wrong?
17:59What's this room?
18:05Shit, I never told him I had a kid
18:07Now I quit my job
18:08And his mom's money is the only thing I have
18:10Caitlin
18:11Are you okay?
18:13Fuck
18:13I need to get out of my own way
18:15And focus on paying rent
18:16Uh, this was a mistake
18:18No, no, no, no, it's not
18:20What's going on?
18:22That scar
18:22It's from my C-section
18:25I have a daughter
18:27Dakota
18:29She's
18:30Also a freshman at Warren and shared
18:33I know, it's a lot to take in
18:37I'm sorry
18:38Wait, wait, wait
18:39Are you married?
18:41What?
18:42No
18:42Look, I
18:45I can't deny that I feel something for you
18:49But
18:49It's never going to work between us
18:53I'm
18:53I'm too old for you
18:56It's
18:58Embarrassing
19:00For both of us
19:01Embarrassing?
19:08Thank you for your help today
19:14Thank you for your help today
19:14Um
19:15Okay, eyes on the prize
19:27Forget about Julian
19:36Focus on Gabriela
19:38She broke up with him
19:39All I need to do is convince her to take him back
19:41Do you mind?
19:51Yes, we do mind
19:52I brought cookies
19:56Yes, leaves
19:58And suddenly I'm all amped up for economics
20:24Mm, he is the whole meal
20:28I know
20:28Damn, they're not kidding
20:30Hello, all you beautiful people
20:32It's nice to see you
20:33I am Professor Nelson
20:34Back from my conference
20:36Apologies about missing the first day
20:38I guess you could say
20:39The demand for me was a bit bigger than my supply
20:41Sorry, just hitting you with a little economics humor
20:46Huey thinks it's a joke
20:47Katelyn?
20:55Um
20:57Katelyn West?
20:58Is that you?
20:59Yes
21:01Hi
21:02Oh, I'm sorry
21:06I might not be West anymore
21:08It's still West
21:09Or I made my way
21:11Back out West
21:12Oh, yikes
21:15You, uh
21:15You don't remember me, do you?
21:17Ross
21:18My roommate dated yours
21:19Freshman year at Yale
21:21You went to Yale?
21:23Oh, he's the scrawny guy
21:24He was always asking me
21:26If I dumped Frank yet
21:27Ross?
21:29Yeah, I didn't even recognize you
21:32Wow, you look so different
21:34Yeah, late bloomer
21:36So, um
21:40Did you dump Frank?
21:44Nice
21:45Let's, uh
21:47Let's catch up after class, yeah?
21:58Okay, what gives?
22:00Yale?
22:01Are you a low-key genius?
22:03Oh, it's not much of a story
22:05I went to school there for a semester for dance
22:08But I dropped out because I got pregnant
22:10You got accepted to Yale for dance
22:13You're my hero
22:15Yeah, and you were mad pulling a sexy professor
22:18I mean, look at him
22:19Caitlin, you're on a mission
22:23Oh, you know, you and Julian looked mighty cozy yesterday
22:27You two would make a really cute couple
22:30Yeah, they totes were a super cute couple
22:33It got stale
22:35I broke things off to spice things up
22:38Might be time again, though
22:41Poor guy looks miserable
22:43You should invite him to the Crisis Agenda concert
22:46I overheard him saying how much he wants to go
22:50That's such a good idea
22:52I'd just make a little fire
23:02Yeah, that'd be great
23:03I want to work on BIP ticket team
23:05One more free caps
23:07BIP
23:08Uh, Caitlin
23:11Caitlin
23:15I am so sorry for acting so weird the other day
23:22I understand
23:22That was a lot to take in
23:25Look, we made the right choice
23:27No, you didn't give me a choice
23:29None of that stuff matters to me
23:31I need someone more my age, Julian
23:33It matters to me
23:35What's going on here?
23:38Feels like I walked into something
23:39Homework stuff
23:40Julian marked my paper about Furbies
23:42He is too young to remember that fiasco
23:45And I was just telling her that
23:48Since homework grades aren't recorded
23:50It doesn't matter
23:52Well, sounds like it's all settled
23:55Now, Caitlin
23:56I have a bone to pick with you
23:57Oh, to you?
23:59Yes, you were about to leave
24:00Before I could get the chance to ask you out
24:03For a coffee
24:07You know, to catch up as old friends
24:08I would never date a student
24:10That would be unethical
24:12Don't let me stand the way of our union
24:18Great
24:25Another hot guy you aren't allowed to date, Caitlin
24:28Aw, he really does seem into me
24:33And that shirt
24:35Rolled up sleeves
24:37My kryptonite
24:39Okay, he's my professor
24:41But coffee is harmless
24:44Right?
24:47Coffee would be nice
24:48Great
24:49I can't wait
24:50Put your number in my phone
24:55Yeah
24:55Oh, shoot
24:58I think I locked it
24:59Sorry, I'm bad with androids
25:01See you later
25:11Good day
25:22Yes, I love dance
25:24Well, I hate to harsh your buzz
25:27But I had to quit my night job
25:30Oh, thank God
25:31That place gave me the creeps
25:32But
25:33I got a new offer
25:34It's strange, though
25:36It's not a strip club, is it?
25:38No
25:39But it is with my old boss, Helen Brooks
25:42She wants me to play matchmaker
25:45To her son, Julian
25:46What?
25:47That's weird
25:48Yep
25:49It's with his ex, Gabriela Warren
25:52Her dad is a client
25:53And he's loaded
25:54So I'm sure she wants to keep him
25:56Cody?
26:10You okay?
26:12I'm fine
26:12Gabriela's in my dance class
26:14Hmm
26:15I could help you
26:17I want to help you
26:18I could get close to her
26:20Yeah
26:22Yeah
26:23Yeah
26:24How about upgrading that coffee
26:31To a nightcap?
26:32Tempting
26:33But I really need to catch up
26:35On sleep
26:35Coffee next Saturday?
26:38Six reasons
26:39You should reconsider
26:40Hmm
26:42Yo
26:47Caitlin
26:48What?
26:50I'm sorry
26:50I have an idea
26:51So
26:52It's clear that Gabriela
26:54Has no dance training
26:54It shows
26:55I was thinking maybe
26:56We could
26:58Ask if she wanted a coach
26:59We could get close to her
27:01Gain her trust
27:02Make Julian look good
27:04Whatever
27:04Hmm
27:06Not that Julian needs
27:09In that department
27:10Mom
27:15Sorry
27:17I got distracted
27:18Sound good?
27:19That sounds like
27:20A great idea love
27:21Dope
27:25Making it happen
27:27Julian you need to move on
27:29This is inappropriate
27:30No means no
27:31Please don't
27:36Seriously chat
27:40Am I cooked?
27:42This hurts like a mother
27:43Nothing worth having comes easy
27:45Gabs
27:46You got this
27:47You're slaying
27:49But you do need both of your hands
27:52Fine
27:54Keep it a hundred hotties
27:56Remind me of Julian
28:04He was telling me to get off my phone
28:08I don't think it gets me
28:10Yet somehow he can read my mind
28:13You two probably have more in common
28:19Than you realize
28:20You do need to stay present
28:23To get to know somebody
28:24You know what I don't get?
28:25You're basically a full-time influencer
28:27What's up with all this pointless sweat?
28:29Pop off now
28:30Sound like my dad
28:32Yeah
28:33It's not always about a quick buck
28:38No
28:38Dancing
28:40Is about the soul
28:42See I want to do that
28:54I can't even
28:57You guys are so lame
28:58Hi
29:08It was better not be for me
29:11That will kill all chances
29:12With Gabriella
29:13Flowers
29:17Yeah I've been watching your stream
29:19Didn't know you were a fan
29:21I'm enjoying your journey
29:24I tried to DM you but
29:26No response
29:27So here I am
29:28The old-fashioned way
29:29Aw you're so sweet
29:32Want to hang out after?
29:35We're almost done
29:36Uh Boba
29:37Oh wouldn't love that
29:39Oh um
29:39You guys don't mind
29:41Do you?
29:42Oh Julian
29:43This is Dakota
29:44She's the best ever
29:46Long as we stay focused
29:51Do you want to practice
29:52Your jeté again?
29:53Really think about kicking high
30:12With that leading leg
30:14And gliding across the floor
30:17Mom don't you have a date
30:34With a sexy professor tonight?
30:37It's not a date
30:37We are catching up over coffee
30:39Oh why were you refreshing up to Caitlin
30:41After class
30:42And it seemed urgent
30:43Oh um
30:45Well I met Caitlin
30:46For tutoring
30:47And Julian didn't think
30:50It was fair to tutor me alone
30:51So he suggested
30:53We all have a study group
30:54I love that idea
30:57Let's do it
30:58Perfect
30:59I gotta go kids
31:01Oh uh Caitlin
31:02Wait up
31:04What are children
31:06What are children
31:07What are children
31:08What are children
31:11Gabriela is sweet
31:17She's closer to your age
31:18And she's learning
31:20To live off her phone
31:21I mean
31:22That was the issue right?
31:24Please don't screw this up
31:25By chasing after me
31:26Are you really saying
31:29Professor Nelson?
31:31He's kind of a jerk
31:32No
31:33Maybe
31:34That's between me and him
31:36Back off
31:39Or I'll have to report you
31:40To admin for harassment
31:41To admin for harassment
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