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00:00best funeral ever are you going to random funerals again no it wasn't random my boss passed away and
00:13they gave me her job so now i'm off the cafeteria line work ends at three and i'll get more time at
00:19home with ben when's he getting back anyway uh tomorrow and it sucks because i'm wearing my date
00:27night clothes and i would love to go celebrate with him but hey uh i just got a promotion how about
00:36going out for a celebratory milkshake sounds neat why don't jughead and i just ride our bikes down
00:42to the malt shop and meet you i can't i have to go to work at eight o'clock at night this must be a
00:49really intense job you got uh yeah well you know you don't get to write code for a fortune 500 company
00:56unless you're you know pretty dedicated hey dan dan get in here the whole family's got to be here to
01:03hear this okay so um i was bored out of my skull today and i took a bunch of brownies down to the
01:09police station just to say hi to the guys oh jackie you don't need to give people treats to be your
01:15friend use cash give yourself a fighting chance anyway sarge's brother just got out of rehab for
01:22opioids and he mentioned the court ruling where you can sue the drug manufacturers now of course
01:27he's still in trouble because he drove through a fried chicken joint and they don't have a drive
01:31through the point is we can sue for roseanne now dan isn't that amazing news oh my god well if we win
01:42we could finally have a safety net this family has always been one financial tragedy away from
01:47disaster and we could be like a two tragedy family we won't we'll lose because they've got big fancy
01:55lawyers all we can afford is a guy who got me a hundred bucks because i found a band-aid and a bag
01:59of chips did you even look for the finger we could all be driving toyotas right now
02:06i can get us a toyota maybe oh don't you dare kiss for a toyota anyway it doesn't matter how much we
02:14can afford lawyers on these cases they'll work for contingencies it's not worth all the hassle and no
02:22amount of money is going to bring your sister back or your mom i don't even know why the hell we're
02:26talking about this guys your dad does not want to do this i wouldn't push him well sometimes you have to
02:33do he didn't want to watch bridgerton either but i pushed him and now he sits on the couch with me
02:39and neville and he sleeps right in front of it i made that happen
03:03thanks for coming over to explain this stuff to me i saw all these fees in my checking account and
03:10i feel like i'm getting ripped off you probably don't have enough in there to cover the maintenance
03:13costs i had that same problem before i married well oh holy cats you got plenty of money darlene
03:22your kid's loaded and i'm not talking about the kind of loaded you and i were when we were his age
03:28wow don't ever quit that job i've never seen anyone make that kind of money at 19.
03:33well my brain's not fried for being a child alcoholic like you two um he's an entry-level
03:41guy with no degree making that kind of money oh you know he's in the computer world algorithms
03:47zuckerberg bitcoin ai you're just stringing together words that you don't understand humiliated ashamed
03:57don't care hey hey oh my god the dog on your face ran off yes it's true i shaved you look like a giant
04:12toddler hey i think he looks amazing oh i missed you so much okay i gotta get i'm gonna get out of here
04:23very intimate moment when a mother and child are reunited
04:31hey while you were moving the magazine to lanford i made your little office hey that's really sweet
04:37okay but i actually ended up written a little storefront next to starbucks what what i thought
04:42you were gonna work from home i was but when i was at the offices in omaha it felt productive you
04:49know it felt like a real career like uh i don't know it just made me feel good about myself well i can
04:54make you feel good about yourself look at you boss guy doing your thing yes that filled my tank right up
05:02you look honey you know it's gonna be a few months of 14 15 hour days while we're getting this thing up
05:08and running but after that we're gonna have plenty of time together and i'm sorry babe but i gotta go to
05:13the storefront start getting my space ready oh well i just used a groupon to get my space ready but
05:19i guess i can wait till you get back
05:29i heard a guy talking is tyler here no it's ben oh thank god last night he made me a whole tour of
05:37italy dinner i was so full of rome i didn't have any room left for sicily so tonight i have to do a whole
05:44france thing for him you guys are really going crazy with all that lovey-dovey crap since he moved
05:50in don't you have to work on your thesis yes but i don't know how to reciprocate all the nice things
05:55he does for me and finish my masters at the same time i guess that's why academics are lonely and
06:01people in love are stupid well i'm sure you'd understand if you just needed some time for school
06:06work no we're still in that romantic bubble phase and i'm not going to be the first one to pop that
06:13where's ben oh well he rented a storefront for the magazine and he left to go set it up wow
06:21so he just got back from omaha and he's already gone i think you're the one who needs to make a
06:26romantic gesture well he's been home for five minutes and i'm already in gesture territory i mean
06:31i thought him getting home and seeing me would be enough as someone who sees you i can tell you
06:36it's not you need to make an effort maybe brush your hair or try women's underwear yeah i get
06:46whatever they have at the supermarket your complaint is with them hey honey yeah you haven't said anything
06:58about this whole roseanne lawsuit thing i know you have an opinion yes my opinion is you don't want
07:06to talk about it you're right absolutely right i don't want to talk about it and here's why
07:14to be able to continue my life after she died i had to find a way to put all that pain in a box
07:21and then put it away in the back of my head first i tried imagining that she was still alive but
07:28somewhere else you mean like alive in heaven no just some place where i'd never see her but i could
07:36pretend she was still there like north dakota that is so sad that didn't work so i went back out to the
07:45grave and just stared at her name i stared until it finally sunk into me that she was under all that
07:52earth and she wasn't coming back and then i grieved and that became my whole life until i met you again
08:03took you long enough to get around to that look i know everybody wants me to sue because there's a
08:10possibility of money but what happens if i dig all this stuff up and nothing dan you have moved
08:18mountains for this family you have a right not to move this one ah maybe i didn't explain myself well
08:29yes i don't want to do it but i feel guilty so what i need you to do is let me rant and rave about it
08:37and then make me do it so you want this to be my decision uh-uh no way well damn it woman you're my
08:45wife your sole purpose is to make me do things i don't want to do yes and i have and i enjoy it
08:53look honey uh this is between you and your family and what you feel you can handle i love you but i
09:03cannot make this decision for you dad are you here you said you changed the locks for my birthday
09:11oh honey changing the locks isn't gonna help they're in the walls like roaches
09:24do you mind if i sit out here and work on my homework i can't get anything done at my place
09:29what's the problem people dropping in unannounced no i gotta finish my thesis or i'm not gonna get my
09:36master's i have worked so long and i am so close to graduating but tyler just moved in and he's trying
09:43so hard to make me happy that i have to try at least that hard back and it's killing me so tell him to
09:50ease up he's too sensitive look a new relationship is like a new car the first dent is always gonna
09:59feel horrible and then you relax because the tension of getting that first dent is over now go home
10:05oh no please don't make me go back there and be loved i wasn't raised that way
10:10girl fine i'll be honest with them another thing i wasn't raised with
10:22oh hey hey hi don't know if you remember me jackie harris i stopped by the station the other day with
10:28the brownies okay so i don't know if you know this but i used to be a cop anyway i haven't said
10:36anything to the family yet but it had gotten me to thinking wouldn't it be crazy if i rejoined the force
10:45it'd be pretty crazy and very funny yeah but why crazy i mean the force is rehiring former cops
10:52because of the shortage and all you know and i read the policy there's no age limit you don't need
10:58policy to tell old people they shouldn't go on the big water slide really you know i'm in better
11:05shape now than i've ever been i could take you right now you want to go huh i want to go right now
11:09let's go let's go
11:18whoa let myself get weak that's another reason for me to do this look you want to be a cop be a cop
11:25they're always looking for people for desk jobs no no no no no i want to be out in the field you
11:30mean wandering around in it because you're so old you've forgotten where you are you know your ageism
11:37is going to be my inspiration the department needs fresh blood unless you're getting a transfusion you're
11:43going to have trouble providing that when i pass this physical i'm going to ask to be partnered with you
11:50and i'm going to talk a lot old people talk i'm going to talk about the weather i'm going to talk
11:58about the weather in other states i'm going to read every sign that we pass it's going to be like
12:03lethal weapon but boring chill god
12:08oh excuse me i'm looking for my husband ben olinsky tall big broad shoulders squeals like a little
12:22girl when he sees a hummingbird hey just so you know people in olden times thought they were fairies
12:28and it's sad that you can't see the magic in there oh what a nice surprise
12:33well i knew you would be busy but i thought it would be a nice gesture if i brought you a little
12:40treat oh my gosh everybody look what my wife brought is she the best or what somebody uh grab
12:47some paper plates everybody dig in oh okay i'm not sure i brought enough for all these people oh you
12:54took my vegan lo mein okay great enjoy listen you grab something for yourself pull up a chair you can
13:00watch us work uh well you know with everybody eating this might be a nice time for you and i to
13:06sit on the blanket have a glass of wine sure i got a second yeah okay excuse me where are your nuts
13:19this has been happening all day i'm so sorry i know the sign on the window says hardware that's
13:24because we're a magazine about hardware we're not actually a hardware store
13:35sorry what were you saying
13:39it seems like you got a lot going on here can you knock off a little early maybe and just meet me at
13:47the lobo maybe we can make out in the bathroom i heard they uh put a lock on the stall
13:53oh well you know as much as i would love to go and make out at what may be the filthiest place on
13:59earth i just i'm sorry that's okay i understand maybe i'll just uh go by myself yeah okay
14:10darling wait yeah if you're going to the bar you're not going to need this
14:29picking up comfort food for dan this lawsuit thing has him turned inside out
14:35i thought some nachos might make him feel better i hope those work better for him than this beer's
14:41working for me all right let's get to the heart of that okay fine uh ben is working around the clock
14:50at the new office and i can't bear to sit in that living room for another night without him
14:56what about becky and tyler blah it's like watching a foreign romance film but with regular looking
15:04people oh thank you look you know hanging out here is a temporary solution what are you going to do
15:13tomorrow night smell ben's shirt cry a little come back here and uh oh i'm playing team darts by myself
15:22look i have been the ben in this situation i have gone on tour and left loved ones for months
15:32if dan had come to a bar every night when i was on the road he'd be an alcoholic i uh hate to break
15:39this to you louise but he kind of is an alcoholic he just does it at home
15:46don't you have any friends you can hang out with no
15:53all right just hang in there things change and his work will will definitely calm down
16:01yeah i appreciate the effort
16:08dan likes to wash down his nachos with hot peanuts
16:14i'm really sorry louise it's okay i know what i signed up for
16:18hey perfect timing i made you a quiche from scratch sit down you made a quiche
16:26how long did that take took a couple hours about half as much time as it took to make those tuscan
16:31raviolis by hand great we can eat quiche and have a little talk
16:37i didn't bake it long enough you know what i rushed it you wait here i'll make a new one
16:46no no please you don't have to no i do i i do i have to get this right i i love you
16:51and my love is not runny it's firm with a flaky crust it's okay it's not okay
16:59you let me move in here i want it to be the best decision you ever made but i can't do this
17:06anymore i mean showing you how much i love you is ruining my life okay it's been working great for me
17:17but if this is all too much for you then maybe and i'm just spitball in here um we can cut back
17:25on the romantic gestures unbelievable you know what how can i show you how much that means to me
17:32do you like paella no no stop it you're doing it again okay we're gonna take it easy okay
17:41and we're gonna jump to the part where i get to work on my thesis and you get to read all those
17:48goosebumps books that you hide from me in your flight bag they're just the right amount of scary
17:55oh hi i didn't know you'd be here but i'm glad because i need to talk to you about something
18:03before i talk to dan i know how you're making all that money uh yeah my big fortune 500 computer job
18:10no you're not working for some fortune 500 company you're part of an illegal hacking operation
18:17how'd you find out somebody with real detective skills is able to put together pieces that look
18:22random to other people plus i rifled through your backpack and i found a note from one of your
18:26buddies that said um you're you're the best hacker ever so what are you gonna do well this puts me
18:37in a very difficult position mark i haven't told anybody this yet but i'm trying out to rejoin the
18:44lanford pd you now why does everybody can you wanna go now you wanna go i'm two feet taller than you
18:57i can put my hand on your head and hold you away while you swing wildly look just don't tell my mom
19:04well if you stop now i won't but your mom is the least of your problems because you're gonna get caught
19:09i haven't so far and i'm not stopping until i have enough to pay for college myself yeah you think
19:14it's okay because the money's for a good cause that's how you get hooked first it's college then
19:20you're gonna want to give your kids a good life maybe adopt a foster kid who needs a new heart when
19:26does it stop mark i think it stops right now well you're not answering my texts so we have to talk
19:40jackie you're a two-bear relative and i've only had one we have to sue dan i sent you the names of the
19:47lawyers and links to other stories of people who have done this what's the hold up i already told you
19:53it's not gonna be worth it oh so my sister's not worth it you know what i mean and it's not for her
20:00she's gone uh-huh out of sight out of mind just another casual dean nothing we can do where's the
20:06dan i know where's the guy who would never walk away from a fight i never walked away from a fight
20:12i knew i had a chance of winning i'm not stupid enough to get the hell beat out of me for nothing
20:18look a sister doesn't carry the weight that a spouse does but you're not giving me any choice
20:25so i guess i gotta do it because i'm not gonna let the bastards get away with it do what you gotta do
20:31okay so you're gonna let your overly emotional sometimes irrational possibly borderline personality
20:38sister-in-law go to war with a big opioid company you'll have the element of surprise no you know what i
20:46have i have the guts to do something you won't if you don't hear from me it's because i don't know
20:51who you are anymore dan mind if i join you becky's working on her thesis and i just finished my last
21:01goosebumps book oh sure it'd be nice to have a little company yeah
21:06oh this is becky's favorite show i mean it just cracks her up when she laughs oh her eyes just
21:18light up like the eiffel tower during the olympics okay you can leave now alone is better