Pooja Bhatt On Addiction, Mental Health And Bollywood

Brut India

"They don't give a damn whether you are a cocaine addict, whether you have an alcohol problem, whether you're taking sleeping pills." In 2019, Pooja Bhatt opened up about her bout with mental health issues and navigating Bollywood. She turns 49 today.  Thanks to Bollywood Bubble for the footage.

Transcript

00:00Pardon my French, I'm feeling f**ked right now.

00:02You know because too much truth does not go down well in Bollywood.

00:05It's not your problem, fall apart.

00:10I think that it's a genetic flaw that we've inherited from our father is that

00:15you know you just say things as they are not the way people expect you to say them

00:19and I think the reason that you're so successful my love is because you have

00:22not inherited that exactly like me and Shaheen have and you are able to separate the two.

00:26You know because too much truth does not go down well in Bollywood.

00:30And we are living in a fake world full of appearances

00:34where people don't want you to say I'm not okay.

00:37It's all surface, they don't give a damn whether you are a cocaine addict,

00:41whether you have an alcohol problem, whether you're taking sleeping pills.

00:44As long as you look okay and you show up and your waist size is a certain

00:48you know circumference, it's all good because nobody cares what's happening on the inside.

00:53But I just want to go back to the day when my mother woke me up one afternoon and said,

00:58wake up Pooja, you have a sister and it was the 28th of November and

01:04my father called her from the hospital when Sony gave birth to you

01:08and it was a moment that I won't forget and people might look at us and say that oh

01:14your guys are a very dysfunctional family but I can assure you our dysfunctionality

01:17is far more functional than most of your functionality.

01:20And I do know that this is one girl who to be able to say that I'm not okay

01:27is such a relief and I remember you giving me this lesson when I was very

01:30young and I was coming back from Goa from a rave and it was New Year's Eve

01:37and everybody was feeling great revelry and I was feeling damn low in the middle of all.

01:42And I called him and I said that you know I'm feeling almost suicidal.

01:45I just want to walk into the ocean and never come back.

01:47What would be lost to mankind?

01:49So he said if you can say that, that means you're not going to do it.

01:52And then he said you remember Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.

01:56Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

01:58I said yes.

02:00So he says Pooja then Humpty Dumpty falls down and then it's up to the king's horses

02:04and the king's men to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

02:07It's not your problem.

02:08Fall apart.

02:09So that's all I've continued to do all my life is fall apart and then pick up the pieces

02:14and then fall apart and pick up the pieces and then strangely you get more solid.

02:19And I think the Japanese have a term for this is when a piece of porcelain or something

02:23beautiful breaks.

02:25They actually fill the cracks with gold because they celebrate that brokenness.

02:30And I think that if we can all of my father's greatest work has been

02:37stuff that's come out of his brokenness supposedly.

02:39You know whether it's zakhum, whether it's taste of life, whether it was art,

02:43anything Saranj never came from comfortable places.

02:46And I think that today to sit here with this brave young lady who I know is going to be

02:53my go-to person when this man is not on the planet anymore.

02:56Only you.

02:57Because she's the only one who gives me that strength because she is one person who I can

03:02look at and say you know what Shaheen, pardon my French.

03:05I'm feeling right now.

03:07And she said it's okay.

03:09It's all good.

03:10It's all good because I feel the same.

03:12So it's good.

03:12And I've rambled but yeah I think that whether it was the spiral into alcoholism and

03:23melancholy is one of my greatest friends.

03:25I don't try to run from that.

03:27I think happiness is overrated.

03:29I think people bullshit all the time.

03:31They're miserable inside.

03:33So when I'm miserable I just say I am and the feeling goes away.

03:37So just say it loud.

03:39Internal bleeding is more dangerous.

03:40Even joy becomes a burden when you can't laugh.

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