Chris D'Elia : Incorrigible

L'humoriste Chris D'Elia nous explique pourquoi les relations ne sont pas une bonne chose et pourquoi les bébés devraient grandir avant de naître.

Transcript

00:00I've been doing stand-up for a while now.

00:02When you are like, hey, I want to do stand-up,

00:04people are like, eat dicks.

00:08Dating is some crafty, evil, genius shit.

00:10For a girl to be like, so,

00:12you'd like to gain access to this vagina, would you?

00:14Well, in that case,

00:16you have to take me to a restaurant that I want to go to,

00:18but you have to choose it!

00:22I just got back from South Florida.

00:24They party hard. Everybody's Cuban.

00:26Even tall, white, blonde dudes will trick the shit out of you, right?

00:28Like, you'd be like, oh, pardon me.

00:30They'd be like, that's okay, how's it going, my friend?

00:32How are you?

00:34Bet you thought I was Swedish or some shit.

00:38I tried to watch sports,

00:40but like, I don't give a...

00:42Like, I would watch if it was real bears versus real dolphins.

00:44You know what I mean?

00:46Like, just bears out there, just like...

00:48Eagles flying around, shitting all over the buccaneers.

00:50Like, dude, I don't even know what a buccaneer is,

00:52but I know it would be hilarious to see a buccaneer

00:54trying to get away from a shitting eagle.

00:56It would be hilarious.

00:58The Browns would be a family out on the field just barbecuing.

01:06Giants!