Don't let others make you nervous || Acharya Prashant, with a class 6 student (2019)

Acharya Prashant

🧔🏻‍♂️ Want to meet Acharya Prashant? Be a part of the Live Sessions: https://acharyaprashant.org/hi/enquiry-gita-course?cmId=m00056  📚 Want to read Acharya Prashant's Books? Get Free Delivery: https://acharyaprashant.org/en/books?cmId=m00056  ➖➖➖  #AcharyaPrashant #आचार्यप्रशांत #Philosophy #BhagavadGita #vedanta   ➖➖➖  Video Information: Advait Learning Camp, 22.12.19, New Jersey, USA.  Context: ~ What is nervousness? ~ How to overcome nervousness? ~ How to live fearlessly?   Music Credits: Milind Date

Transcript

00:00Phenomenology. Why do I get nervous in situations where I have to express myself or when I have

00:15to talk to people?

00:16What do you talk to people about?

00:17Like public speaking.

00:18What do you speak about?

00:19Anything like related to school work, I guess.

00:33Like related?

00:34Related to school work.

00:35Related to school work. Okay, right. Now, say something on school work. To me.

00:42Projects about, like, what we're reading in school, like books about nonfiction or

00:53fantasy.

00:54So say something about that. What do you read in school?

01:00Right now, unhealthy fast foods.

01:05Unhealthy fast foods, right. Tell me of a few unhealthy fast foods.

01:10McDonald's Big Mac.

01:13Tell me about that.

01:17From McDonald's, any McDonald's food.

01:20How does it look?

01:24Like a burger.

01:27It looks...

01:30Big and fat, huh? Big and fat.

01:33Yeah.

01:34Big, fat and greasy.

01:36Yeah.

01:38Now, how nervous are you when saying these things to me?

01:46Now, let's say you have to say these same things to a mirror or to a wall.

02:01To a wall, you have to talk about the Big Mac.

02:07With nobody else watching you.

02:10How nervous would you be?

02:13I wouldn't be nervous.

02:15Why? You're talking about the same thing?

02:18You're talking about exactly the same thing and expressing exactly the same content.

02:38Why wouldn't you be nervous if you were speaking to a wall or to a mirror?

02:43Because no one is watching.

02:47So the nervousness is not about speaking.

02:54Nervousness is related to public in public speaking.

02:59Yes.

03:02Yes.

03:03Which means that you can get nervous in front of the public even when you are not speaking

03:09because it actually has to do with the public rather than speaking.

03:14Right?

03:17In certain conditions, even if you are not speaking, you just have the public watching you.

03:24Even that can make you nervous because it's got to do with the public rather than the speaking or anything else.

03:30Now, what is it about the public that makes you nervous?

03:38Maybe their comments on it.

03:43And why do their comments matter and mean so much?

03:48They tell me that if it was good or not.

03:53They tell you whether you are good or not, right?

03:58Yeah.

04:00How do you know that they know you rightly?

04:05Who is closer to you?

04:13Who knows you better, you or that other fellow?

04:19Me.

04:21So who is it who is in a better position to say whether you are good or not?

04:26Me.

04:28Then why do you trust the other person?

04:30Mama told you, you can tell me.

04:48Who told you to trust others more than yourself, even when it comes to your own life,

04:59your own being?

05:03No one.

05:05But you have learned it surely from somewhere, right?

05:10Wherever it has come from, it needs to be dropped.

05:18Right?

05:19Right.

05:22There are certain matters in which others must not be allowed to have any say.

05:29When you go to a doctor, he's a subject matter expert.

05:35So he deserves to be listened to.

05:40When an electrician comes to your house, he too is a subject matter expert.

05:45He deserves to be listened to.

05:50Listen to all these experts.

05:54But there is one matter in which only you are the expert, which is your being.

06:01And the being itself is the expert about itself.

06:08You will probably understand it a few years down the line.

06:12The ones who have known this being, they have said that it is the all-knowing one.

06:19And there is nothing except it.

06:21And it knows nothing else but itself.

06:26Too complicated for you, I know.

06:28But leave it.

06:31Please understand that your reality is not something that anybody else can know.

06:41All the things that are a little external to you, like your health, like your knowledge,

06:47in all these things, others can be contributors or even assessors.

06:54But when it comes to your deep, deep value, nobody else should ever be judging you.

07:05Only you can be your own judge and be your own good judge, strict judge.

07:11Right?

07:14Do not allow others to interfere in matters where they should not be coming.

07:22So if somebody tells you, your speech today was not good enough.

07:29All right.

07:31They can say that because they are commenting on your speech.

07:37And speech is an external thing.

07:40But if somebody says you are not good enough, then don't listen to them.

07:44Because now they are not commenting on your speech.

07:47They are commenting on your being.

07:49And being is not an external thing.

07:52Probably a listener has the rights to tell you whether or not your speech is good enough.

07:59We were talking of public speaking, right?

08:02Your listener holds the right to comment on the quality of your speech.

08:11But no listener holds the right to comment on the quality of your being.

08:21Invite all feedbacks, learn from various sources.

08:26But even as you learn from everybody, never allow anybody to make you feel small or big.

08:35People are entitled to comment on your speech, on your looks, on your clothes, on your marks.

08:46Because all these are things external to you.

08:50Let them tell you your marks are not good.

08:52All right.

08:54If they tell you you are not good, don't listen to them.

08:58They may tell you that a painting you made is not worthy enough.

09:11And that is all right.

09:13They may tell you that a painting that you made is not worthy enough.

09:20And that is okay.

09:21But let them not tell you that you are not worthy enough.

09:26Will you be able to make this distinction?

09:30Do not be so dependent on others to know who you are or to know how you are doing.

09:41Right?

09:45And then you will not be nervous when you are facing them.

09:50Correct?

09:54All nervousness is because of dependency.

09:58The more you are dependent on others for your own self-worth, the more you will be afraid of the others.

10:09Right?

10:12So don't be dependent for your self-worth on others.

10:18You are good enough.

10:20You are already good enough.

10:22Your actions, your actions might sometimes not be up to the mark.

10:32But that does not mean that you are not up to the mark.

10:38Right?

10:41Actions can be improved.

10:45But the day you start taking the self as something that needs improvement,

10:52you will find that you have unnecessarily cultivated a lot of inferiority.

10:58There is no need for any of that.

11:00Right?

11:05So next time they applaud your speech,

11:11do not take that applause very seriously.

11:14And the next time they criticize your speech, do not take that very seriously.

11:22Just accept the bare facts.

11:28If they say, oh, you were not loud enough.

11:30All right.

11:31I heard that.

11:32I was not loud enough.

11:34Just take all criticism or appreciation as objective feedback.

11:41Nothing more than that.

11:44Don't be too serious about it.

11:46All right.

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