Ronald Goedemondt: Spek | movie | 2006 | Official Clip - video Dailymotion

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Registration of the first theatre program by the Dutch comedian Ronald Goedemondt. | dG1fY0FHbUdqMmJES0U

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00:00I'm not racist. I'm more of an ethnic paranoid.

00:09For me, there are only two kinds of people on earth.

00:14Two kinds of people on earth.

00:16People who dare to sneeze.

00:21If they have to sneeze, of course, bam, everything out.

00:25And there are people who, if they have to sneeze,

00:28use their head as a kind of container of the Explosive Cleaning Service.

00:41When do you learn to sneeze like that? When?

00:44Are there parents who walk around, almost see their child sneezing,

00:47and I put my hand on my mouth and...

00:50Ah, look at that eye, yes!

00:57We're not all equal.

00:59Equal, maybe, but certainly not equal.

01:03I'm also half Italian in terms of body hair.

01:09Yes, that's a very abrupt limit for me.

01:13In film terms, it's, say, Nicole Kidman, Nicole Kidman, Nicole Kidman, Lassie.

01:20I don't have anything to do with that background.

01:24That whole Italian stuff.

01:26I don't speak that language. Never learned it.

01:29And Italians are just a stupid people.

01:32I've been to Italy once, I've been to Sicily once.

01:35To Palermo, to visit my family.

01:38Well, that was fun.

01:40I arrive there, no Italian speaks English.

01:43I don't speak Italian, so I arrive there and I'm like...

01:46And nothing.

01:49I was sitting in a corner of the room, talking to each other.

01:52One big chicken, all squawking.

01:54There are a lot of words I don't know the meaning of.

01:57Actually, all of them.

01:59But, for example, the word pancetta means bacon.

02:04And I didn't know that.

02:06And that's not a problem, but I'm sitting there,

02:09and all of a sudden, that word, pancetta, comes out of nowhere.

02:12And for some reason, it triggers something in me.

02:14I have to know what that means.

02:16And I'm like, okay Ronald, if you want to know what that means,

02:18ask your family.

02:20That's your family, right?

02:22And I'm like, okay.

02:23So I ask an Italian uncle of mine,

02:25what is pancetta?

02:26What is pancetta?

02:28And the first thing that uncle does, when I ask him that question,

02:30the first thing that every Italian does when you ask him a question,

02:32they start with their hands up and down.

02:36And again, with their hands up and down.

02:38As if they can say at the same time,

02:40Yatse!

02:47But they don't do that, they don't do that.

02:51This is the final answer of that uncle to that question.

02:54I asked him pancetta.

02:55This is his final answer.

02:58PANCETTA!

03:03That's it!

03:06He just kept looking at me for a long time.

03:08That's the Italian way of answering,

03:10repeating the question.

03:13Lotto weekend millionaires in Italy,

03:15they don't have a bag on them.

03:17Then comes the quiz master with all the questions on his card.

03:20And now, the last question.

03:22Gentlemen, attention.

03:24What is pancetta?

03:28Salami?

03:32Well, mortadella?

03:35Cheese?

03:36Speck?

03:40Speck?

03:43Or pancetta?

03:50I'll call for help, ok?

03:52Ok, ok. Thank you, thank you.

03:55Paolo, Paolo, Maurizio here.

03:57What is pancetta?

04:03Thank you, thank you.

04:05Pancetta!

04:09That's right!

04:11It's time for another Millionaire Lotto Weekend!

04:13And the whole audience...

04:16Because everyone already knows the answer!

04:18What a stupid cloud!

Ronald Goedemondt: Spek | movie | 2006 | Official Clip

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