Ranbir-Rishi Kapoor's complicated relationship

Brut India

Reflecting on his tumultuous relationship with his father, Ranbir Kapoor revealed how Rishi Kapoor's temperament and emotional distance shaped his childhood.  📹:

Transcript

00:00I, Nikhil, never saw his eye colour.

00:02I was always like this.

00:03You know, for me, I didn't cry when my father passed away.

00:05My parents went through, like, sh**, like, fights, you know.

00:14My father was, he was a short-tempered man, but he was a very good man.

00:19You know, he's somebody who really loved his family, loved his work,

00:23loved his food, loved his alcohol.

00:25You know, he was a very open person.

00:26Did you think of him that way from the very beginning?

00:28Like, growing up, one to ten?

00:30I, Nikhil, never saw his eye colour.

00:32I was always like this.

00:33I was just like, yes.

00:34I never said no.

00:35You know, I was so scared.

00:36Like the movie, Animal.

00:37Animal, I was more obsessed with him.

00:39Here, I was scared of my dad.

00:40You know, like, he never shouted at us.

00:43He never raised his hand.

00:44But just because around us, his temperament was so, like, volatile.

00:48Like, it always scared me.

00:50So, anybody who speaks in a louder tone from childhood, it started disturbing.

00:54My parents went through, like, sh**s of, like, fights.

00:59You know, man.

00:59We live in a bungalow.

01:00So, I've spent, like, most of my childhood on the staircases hearing them fight.

01:04So, I was always a little scared.

01:07And I was always on the edge.

01:08But I think both of them were going through a very rough patch.

01:12They both loved each other.

01:13And eventually, they found beautiful companionship.

01:16My father was not an expressive person.

01:17So, I never felt, I never understood or heard his point of view.

01:21Even, like, to express his love to me, he never could, like, hold my hand.

01:24He would hug me.

01:24But his hug had a...

01:26You know, it wasn't a hug.

01:27He just was very distant.

01:29I knew he loved me a lot.

01:30He cared a lot for me.

01:31I got the experience of America.

01:33It was not really the college experience.

01:35But just the experience of the exposure.

01:38You know, just interacting with students from all over the world.

01:40Living alone.

01:41My father kept me on a very tight budget.

01:45Just to give you an example.

01:48Of course, when I say tight budget, I'm still coming from a privileged background.

01:51But it was enough that I could have a McDonald's dollar menu meal for lunch and dinner.

01:57So, it was like $2 lunch, $2 dinner.

01:59You know, it was as strict as that.

02:01Even though I come from a privileged background.

02:03This was when I came back and I started assisting Mr. Bansali on a film called Black.

02:07I was an assistant director.

02:08He took away my car.

02:09So, I had to travel in public transport.

02:10I was not getting any pocket money.

02:13So, I think he really wanted to school me in a way that,

02:15yaar, this is not life.

02:16You know, you're too moisturized.

02:18You need to really see what hardship is.

02:20Great relationship with my mother.

02:22Not so great with my father.

02:23Distant, but loved and respected him.

02:26You know, for me, I didn't cry when my father passed away.

02:28I know that when the doctor told me the night that I was in the hospital,

02:32I was spending the night there.

02:33I stayed there for quite some time.

02:35And he said that this is his last night and he's going to go anytime soon.

02:38I remember I went up to the room and I got a panic attack.

02:41Because I didn't know how to express myself.

02:43I didn't know what was happening.

02:44There's too much to take.

02:46But I don't think I've grieved.

02:48I don't think I've understood the loss.

02:51I mean, losing one of your parents is a very big moment.

02:55Do you feel guilt?

02:57I feel guilt as much as guilt as he felt while he was going away.

03:02Because that one year that we spent together in New York

03:05while his treatment was on,

03:08he often spoke about that.

03:10You know, one day, I was there for like 45 days stretch.

03:13And he came to my room and he just started crying.

03:15And he's never showed that kind of weakness to me.

03:18And it was so awkward for me

03:20because I didn't know if I should go hold him.

03:22I should hug him.

03:24And I really realized the distance.

03:26And I felt...

03:28I feel guilty that I didn't have the grace

03:33to let go of the distance or the glass between us

03:36and go and hug him or give him some love.

03:40So I have guilt for that.

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