The sexism in the world of business ft. Sima Ganwani Ved

Brut India

The founder of the Apparel group, Sima Ganwani Ved opened up about how men should speak to women in the workplace at the India Global Forum's Unleashing Ambitions event in Dubai.  : India Global Forum

Transcript

00:00It was a call for a business client whom you have upset.

00:05How dare you call me darling?

00:08You mentioned about that darling thing.

00:10It might be cultural aspect as well, right?

00:13The desis, especially when men talk, it's very common to say BCMC.

00:18You know what I'm talking about.

00:19Would that be okay? No, but it's cultural.

00:22It's okay to do it.

00:30I also want you to sort of tell us a little bit more about your thoughts on how you think

00:48sort of men should speak to women in the workplace.

00:51I was telling Laura when we spoke yesterday that, you know, a friend of mine who's actually

00:56a very well-known, very well-established VC in this part of the world, and she used to

01:03work in a company with partners.

01:05And the partners made it a point, maybe they were trying to be nice, but they made it a

01:10point every now and again to comment on how she looked, what she wore, how she dressed.

01:16And it came to a point where she actually told them, she's like, I really don't need

01:21you to tell me how I look.

01:24Because would you do that to a male colleague?

01:27Like a male colleague coming in, would you say, hey, I really like that blue jacket on you?

01:31He'd just look at you weird, right?

01:33So same thing.

01:34Why is it okay to comment on how a woman dresses or how she walks into the office?

01:39And same thing with, you know, when you're talking to your PA or you're talking to your,

01:44I don't know, your CEO and she's a woman, don't feel free to put your hand on her shoulder.

01:49She doesn't want that.

01:50So I just think these kind of nuances at work, and like you said, right, how do we do this

01:56with girls from the beginning?

01:57I think girls from the beginning need to be told that it's not okay.

02:02It's not okay for someone to cross your personal space or your personal boundaries, even if

02:06it's an uncle, a cousin or whatever.

02:09Be very clear.

02:10I don't really like that.

02:11Don't do that.

02:12So I think having taught girls to speak up, which is where, you know, my earlier point

02:18of had these girls in my family said, no, I actually want to work.

02:22And if I'm not going to work where you're working, send me somewhere where I can.

02:27So I just think letting people obstruct your own potential is our own doing.

02:33We cannot keep blaming our families or our parents or our husbands.

02:39We've got to take charge of what we want to do.

02:42And I suppose, you know, it's having a voice to say what you want as well.

02:46You know, I don't really like the way that you commented on my clothes.

02:49But then again, you can sort of see it on the other side.

02:51Flattery gets you everywhere.

02:53So it's one of those things where they're probably, you know, trying to flatter her

02:56to, I don't know, maybe do business.

02:58So it's one of those things that can be quite.

03:00Laura, I told Laura's story.

03:02I was dealing with a media partner who was actually had rubbed me the wrong way in the

03:07sense he was being very rude at another event.

03:11And he tried to make up with an apology call.

03:15So we're having this call where he's apologizing to me that he didn't really mean to ignore

03:20me or blah, blah, blah.

03:21And suddenly I'm like thinking, OK, I'm kind of going to forgive this guy.

03:25And then he goes to me, darling, and I stopped and I was like, uh-huh.

03:31And he goes, darling, if I ever tell you my story, you'll understand what I mean.

03:35And I looked at myself and I was thinking, what do you call my husband, darling?

03:40If he was having a partnership call, like it was a call for a business client whom you

03:46have upset, how dare you call me darling?

03:50I mean, seriously, like where do you get your manners?

03:54These are not business manners.

03:56You cannot turn around.

03:58My husband would slap you if you called him darling.

04:01I would hope he would slap you.

04:03So I'm just saying that these are the little nuances again for people when you're out there

04:09and women.

04:10When we hear men call us darling, sweetheart, whatever, it's like, no, go use that on your

04:16wife at home or your girlfriend.

04:18Don't do that here.

04:19Because it can come across as very patronizing at the end of the day.

04:22Absolutely.

04:23So if you're up for it, I'm going to give our audience one question to throw at you.

04:28Would you mind?

04:29Is that OK?

04:30Right.

04:31We have one.

04:32We've only got time for one question.

04:34So one lucky person in the room right now gets to ask one question.

04:39This is your one opportunity.

04:41Anyone would like to ask a question?

04:43Because it's just one question.

04:45So hi, I'm Paresh Deshmukh.

04:47I'm from UK.

04:48So I run a cybersecurity firm.

04:50And whatever you said, I'm perfectly 100% in agreement with that.

04:54Just only my opinion is you mentioned about that darling thing.

04:58It might be cultural aspect as well, right?

05:00So in UK, it is pretty much common to when you have a peaceful conversation and all that.

05:06So my request to all women is just take that cultural angle as well.

05:13It may not be always bad.

05:15So can I ask you a reverse question?

05:18Right.

05:19I 100% agree with you.

05:20But having said that, the guy speaking to me was Arab national and I'm an Indian.

05:25That is what I'm saying.

05:26So in our culture, it isn't normal to go around calling people darling, right?

05:30But I'm going to ask you a reverse question.

05:32In the Desis, especially when men talk, it's very common to say BC, MC.

05:37You know what I'm talking about.

05:38So would that be okay?

05:40So how come?

05:42How come?

05:43How come you just said no?

05:47I mean, if I come into your office and I start, you know, my mouth just goes like,

05:52what do you call it?

05:53A washer woman and says BC and MC.

05:56No, no, no.

05:57Would that be okay?

05:58No, but it's cultural.

05:59It's okay to do it?

06:00No.

06:01It's not, right?

06:02Exactly.

06:03So the word to me, darling, has a place in, I don't know, maybe in the bedroom.

06:08Close family.

06:09Yeah, somebody I know really well.

06:11Why would you call me darling?

06:13No matter if you're from the UK.

06:14I respect your opinion.

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