First broadcast 28th December 1998.
Tony, sporting a moustache and glasses, is now a postman and takes the job very seriously - too seriously for Deborah, who misses the old stupid Tony and no longer finds him sexy.
Martin Clunes ... Gary
Neil Morrissey ... Tony
Leslie Ash ... Deborah
Caroline Quentin ... Dorothy
John Thomson ... Ken
Ian Lindsay ... George
Valerie Minifie ... Anthea
Dido Miles ... Childbirth Instructor
Eileen Dunwoodie ... Midwife
Amanda Drew ... Wendy
Tony, sporting a moustache and glasses, is now a postman and takes the job very seriously - too seriously for Deborah, who misses the old stupid Tony and no longer finds him sexy.
Martin Clunes ... Gary
Neil Morrissey ... Tony
Leslie Ash ... Deborah
Caroline Quentin ... Dorothy
John Thomson ... Ken
Ian Lindsay ... George
Valerie Minifie ... Anthea
Dido Miles ... Childbirth Instructor
Eileen Dunwoodie ... Midwife
Amanda Drew ... Wendy
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Thank you very much.
00:30Right, ladies, this is what's going to happen.
00:49With the contractions, the baby will push itself onto the cervix and then bit by bit
00:54you'll slowly start to dilate, centimetre by centimetre, until you're fully dilated.
01:03To the point where the midwife will then put her hand up the vagina and she won't be able
01:07to feel any of the cervix.
01:08How come yours doesn't look like that?
01:09Because I didn't knit my own groin.
01:10You know, they sometimes shave patients before an operation.
01:11Are they going to shave you?
01:12I could do that.
01:27I'll show myself useful.
01:33Gary, I'm having a home birth.
01:42I don't want you panicking. I'm trying to shove the placenta back in.
01:46I've read it all up. This is our little baby.
01:50I know all about it.
01:53So, you don't still think test-tube babies have to smash their way out of the test-tube tunnel?
02:00I was joking.
02:02...down into the birth canal, which is the vagina,
02:05and it will travel down and down until eventually the head is being born.
02:10You know, if I was redesigning the female body, I'd have...
02:14Six breasts, two-inch nipples, a choice of bottoms, and birth by a system of eggs.
02:20I know. I've seen the drawings.
02:34I'm not tired.
02:37I think you're too tired.
02:40You're one over-tired lady.
02:44Tony, it's a quarter to nine. Believe me, I'm not tired.
02:54Why do you always have to get up so early?
02:56Because I'm a postman.
03:03Can't you do the second post?
03:06You're so naive.
03:08I'm one of the early people that gets up before dawn.
03:13And I don't mean a girl called Dawn.
03:16No, I understand.
03:20It's a magical world of whistling milkmen,
03:24cleaners with their cheery tins of pledge,
03:27dogs going through bins,
03:29mad insomniacs on park benches,
03:33pimps taking home their weary prostitutes,
03:37and us postal workers.
03:40And it gives me the rest of the day free to potter.
03:42Oh, don't say potter.
03:45Look, I finished the mobile for Barry and Dorothy's baby.
03:50That's me there with my enormous sack.
03:54Wahey.
03:57What?
03:59Enormous sack, testicles, wahey.
04:05No, this is my big bag that I keep all my letters in.
04:10It's made of specialist material
04:12developed by post office scientists at a secret location.
04:24Hello.
04:27Special delivery of a large sexual organ.
04:35It's so bulky, it takes two postal workers to carry it.
04:42And a van.
04:58LAUGHTER
05:05Can I put my letter in your box?
05:10No, thanks, Tony, I don't want to.
05:18LAUGHTER
05:28Good, deep breath in.
05:31And out.
05:34Now, to release tension on the end of each breath,
05:36I want you to add a grunt.
05:38Partners, add support by grunting too.
05:41Deep breath in.
05:44And out.
05:46So they told George and Athia about the office closing down.
05:49Oh, yeah. Urgh!
05:51I'm scared they'll start wailing
05:53or break out in some horrific spasm.
05:57I bet they'll be delighted.
05:59Athia will finally get a boss that doesn't lock her in a cupboard.
06:02Urgh!
06:04Sometimes it's the only language she understands.
06:09Urgh!
06:11George is terrified of change.
06:14Is that why you haven't changed his salary in ten years?
06:18Urgh!
06:20Money confuses him.
06:22He still pays for things with postal orders.
06:24Urgh!
06:26Athia goes to bed wearing a nightcap.
06:29She told me you just can't cope out there in the real world.
06:33Urgh!
06:47George, have you ever thought about getting a new job, moving on?
06:52No, have you? No.
06:55It'd be good, though, wouldn't it?
06:57New people, nicer cupboards, more money.
07:00As you always point out, I'm on a pretty hefty salary here.
07:04No, I was lying, George. It's a technique I've developed.
07:11How would you react if I were to say that head office had told me
07:14we have to close down in two weeks?
07:16I can't see that happening.
07:18No, well, it's happening.
07:21No, I can't see that happening.
07:23No, no, it is happening.
07:25No, I can't see that happening.
07:30Athia, I've got some bad news.
07:32Oh, is it about the new pencils?
07:35No, no, the pencils are good.
07:40You know orders have been down this year?
07:42Yes.
07:44Well, Alan from head office called me the day before yesterday
07:47to tell me that we were going to have to close down.
07:49Oh, I can't see that happening.
07:52That's what I said.
07:54I mean, security equipment's always needed.
07:57There are so many naughty people around.
08:00Athia, George...
08:04No, it doesn't matter.
08:12So...
08:14So, for the second-class letters,
08:16do you use a slow delivery van?
08:19No.
08:21So, do you take the letters, the second-class ones,
08:24and just chuck them in a pile in the corner and say,
08:26well, you know, maybe we'll deliver them later
08:28or maybe the day after tomorrow?
08:30No.
08:32Ken? Yeah?
08:34Do you think women enjoy sex less than men?
08:37General sex?
08:39Yeah. I don't know.
08:42You see, Debs has been brilliant about humping.
08:45Well, unless I try and put something in her ear.
08:47You know, she's banned that.
08:49But I've noticed recently little phrases creeping in,
08:52like, do we have to?
08:54And what's in it for me?
08:57I used to have this girlfriend
08:59and she only became aroused at ten past seven at night.
09:02She was like one of those geezers in Iceland
09:05that only erupted at certain times of the day.
09:07Except that people didn't, well, you know,
09:09sit down and take photographs of her.
09:11Well, not to my knowledge, no.
09:13No, but I had to chuck her because she clashed with Eberdale.
09:18You see, that's interesting because I've got a theory about Debs.
09:22You see, I think she's more turned on after eating cheese.
09:28General cheese?
09:30Yes.
09:32You see, I was thinking back to the last time we made love
09:34and that she, well, you know... Yeah, exploded like a firecracker,
09:37bloody jackknifing over and over again.
09:42Yes.
09:44She'd just eaten the fondue.
09:46Oh, fondue. Very tasty, very underrated.
09:48Yeah. And the first day she let me sleep with her,
09:51she'd been nibbling cheese straws all day.
09:53As you say, there's a pattern emerging here.
09:55Yeah. You see, and cheese makes me wretch.
09:58So since I've moved in with her, we haven't kept any in the fridge.
10:01So she's eating less cheese, so her sex drive is down.
10:04Or is that crackers?
10:08Do you get it?
10:30Hello?
10:32Oh, hi, Clive.
10:34Yeah, not really, mate, no.
10:37No.
10:39No, I don't think so.
10:41All right, cheers.
10:44Gary, that phone's for emergencies.
10:46That wasn't an emergency, it was Clive.
10:48Wants us to call her baby Clive.
10:53Nibbly snack?
10:57Are you all right, Tony?
10:59Yeah, why?
11:01I don't associate you with finger food.
11:04No, I've been snacking for years on my own.
11:07I just thought it was time to move into communal snacking.
11:11What have you got?
11:13Well, there's cheddar cheesy chunks,
11:15cheese and pickle on a pole,
11:17um, cheesy bollocks.
11:21That's my own concept. No, thanks.
11:24But you must, I crafted them especially for you.
11:27What's that?
11:29That's a whole banana wiped in cheese.
11:33I'm not hungry.
11:35Anyway, you hate cheese.
11:37No, no, I'm just beginning to realise how delicious it really is.
11:47Mmm.
11:55Are you sure you don't want any?
12:04HE COUGHS
12:22Really nice.
12:26Tony, do you fancy meeting me for a drink tomorrow lunchtime?
12:29I've got to get drunk enough to tell George and Anthea
12:31they're out of a job.
12:33Oh, yeah, you can come to my special post office workers' pub
12:35near the sorting office.
12:37Do we have to?
12:39Oh, it's great, you get some great postal anecdotes.
12:41Go on, have a cheesy bollock.
12:43No!
12:45So have you two got a name for the baby yet?
12:48No, Gary still likes Cindy Sue for a girl and Scamp for a boy.
12:52So I may have to kill him.
12:55Oh, no, I've found some great names on some letters for you.
12:58Right, here, let's see what you think.
13:04Ding.
13:06No.
13:08Rimbin.
13:10No.
13:12Abdelhak.
13:16Er, no.
13:20Bobbingaloolie.
13:22Actually, I think that's a computer misprint,
13:24cos his name's normally Bob.
13:29Cheddar nipple.
13:31Cheers.
13:38Oh, you all right?
13:40Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm down, I've landed.
13:43I know it's a miracle birth and everything,
13:45but they don't tell you for the last couple of months
13:47you feel like a horse box.
13:49Actually, Dorothy,
13:51I've got a bit of a problem, too.
13:55Tony doesn't turn me on any more.
13:58Oh, Debs.
14:01Did he ever?
14:03Yes.
14:05In a funny sort of way.
14:07What's changed?
14:09I don't know.
14:11Well, it doesn't help he looks like a complete divvy now.
14:14No, divvy doesn't help.
14:16Have you thought about shaving off his moustache when he's asleep?
14:19Yes, I've tried, but he keeps waking up.
14:22He dresses like my dad, he's boring about his job
14:25and he keeps writing his thoughts down in a little notebook.
14:28We all go through that phase.
14:30Yes, but how long does it last?
14:32Till he's split up.
14:44Woof!
14:47That's Jeff.
14:49He's been bitten by a dog so many times they call him Costello.
14:52Why?
14:53Abbott and Costello.
14:55Abbott.
14:57Ross Abbott.
14:59Ross.
15:00Russell.
15:01Jack Russell, the little dog.
15:03Yeah.
15:05Oh, see, that bloke.
15:08He once did his run backwards wearing a rabbit costume.
15:12What do you call him?
15:14Tinker.
15:17What's your nickname?
15:20I haven't got one yet.
15:22Magnus.
15:24Oh, Sherbert.
15:26Hey, mate, you don't want to go off and find yourself a new best friend, do you?
15:30No, mate.
15:31Thanks, mate.
15:33It was time I settled down and got myself a career, though, wasn't it?
15:36Yeah.
15:37I'm happy for you.
15:38It's such a brilliant job.
15:40Stimulating, room for initiative, respect from the public.
15:44Super smart uniform.
15:45Yeah, all right, shut it, Posty.
15:50So, you're going to have a little baby then?
15:52Yeah.
15:53It finally happened.
15:55Yeah.
15:56It really does put things into perspective.
15:58Mm.
16:00So you haven't had sex for four months.
16:02Oh, God, no.
16:03I'll tell you, I can do it with this table, right here, right now,
16:06and you won't tell anyone.
16:07Can you not, mate?
16:08Actually, I might lose face as a postman.
16:12We tried it again a couple of months ago.
16:15It was like trying to mount a giant pink turtle.
16:19Hiya, nobody know friends?
16:22Nobody know friends?
16:24No, no, no, no, it's a temporary name.
16:28Ha-ha-ha!
16:37Did you have a nice drink with Tony?
16:39Tony Posty!
16:42Yes, I did, thank you very much.
16:45Yeah, wait a minute, I always wanted to...
16:47Always wanted to try this.
16:50LAUGHTER
16:54Not actually as much fun as I'd expected.
16:57Someone's a bit squiffy.
16:58Yes, that'll be me.
17:00No, wait, wait, Anthony, don't go, wait, don't go, wait.
17:03Pull up a thing.
17:05You too, Porgy.
17:13I've had to get squiffy, to tell you this,
17:15cos in a funny way, I care about you.
17:19Now, I know that might sound a bit stupid and a bit spooky
17:24and perhaps even a bit, God, I'm getting a headache.
17:29Right, here goes.
17:31I've got some bad news.
17:33Is it about the pencil?
17:35No, just forget about the bloody pencil.
17:41The office has to close in two weeks
17:43and we're all out of a job.
17:48Oh, I can't see that happening.
17:50Nor can I.
17:52No?
17:54Look, um...
17:56Imagine this is our job, yeah?
17:58Now, watch closely.
18:00Job, going out of window.
18:02No?
18:04Job, window.
18:06Window, job.
18:08Job.
18:12That obviously works a bit better if you open the window first.
18:16But do you get my point?
18:18Oh.
18:20There will, of course, be a redundipack.
18:22A, er, a rebundance.
18:24George, you've been with the company for 83 years.
18:28You will get three million and several thousand pounds.
18:31Anthony, you've been with the company 52 years.
18:35You've got a small castle in Surrey.
18:37Yeah.
18:39Don't worry about me.
18:41I obviously will find a nice slot with Parks and Spencer
18:44or TeleBritishcom.
18:46One of those two.
18:49Shall we hug? Would that help?
18:53Well, right.
18:55I'll just get back to work.
18:58Oh, blast.
19:01Well, George, say something.
19:05I can't see it happening.
19:17There we go.
19:19Now, as a change to our normal routine,
19:22I've brought some crackers with some cheese on.
19:27Tony, I've just brushed my teeth.
19:30Oh, no, late-night cheesy snack, good for the teeth,
19:33among other things.
19:35I'd rather not.
19:37I can hear your body screaming out for cheese.
19:40No! No cheese!
19:47Oh, I'm sorry.
19:49No, no, that's fine.
19:52What are you reading?
19:54A book of postcodes.
20:00Tony...
20:03has my tea got cheese in it?
20:11Might have a little.
20:13What is this all about?
20:15What is what all about?
20:17All the cheese!
20:20I...
20:22thought it turned you on.
20:26You haven't wanted to have sex.
20:30I know.
20:32This has never happened before.
20:34Well, only for the first five years.
20:37So what is it?
20:40Oh.
20:42I see.
20:44It's because I'm still on my trial period
20:47You're not a full postman yet, is you?
20:50No.
20:55Oh, all right.
20:57I'll give it a try.
21:07Feel anything?
21:18Oh.
21:20Oh.
21:22Oh.
21:28Oh.
21:32I just...
21:43Oh.
21:48Yeah.
22:04I can't get up!
22:06Come back when I've had the baby!
22:18Oh.
22:29Why did you ring the bell?
22:31I posted my keys to the letterbox.
22:33Force of habit.
22:36You know, I can't see a letter slot these days
22:39without wanting to push something through it.
22:41You want to watch that?
22:43Oh, letters for you.
22:45Ooh.
22:50Still turns me on.
22:52Can you pick it up for me, please?
22:54I'm sorry, I can't.
22:56They're customer property now.
22:58I'd be breaking at least eight laws.
23:02So, the scary look.
23:16Did you see?
23:18I've allocated parking positions.
23:21Cart.
23:23Pram.
23:25Lovely.
23:27Tony, can you come and get rid of the rest of your stuff?
23:30Oh, I'm not really supposed to move stuff
23:33whilst wearing the Queen's postal uniform.
23:40Oh.
23:42It's amazing, isn't it?
23:44Yes. Yes, it is.
23:46Do you want me to sign it?
23:48No, no, thank you.
23:50Oh, I've had some top times in this room.
23:54God, if only these walls could speak.
23:57I guarantee, Debra, sleep with me
24:00and you'll never want another man ever again.
24:03I seem to know exactly what you were doing, actually.
24:06Whoa!
24:08Banana-rama!
24:11Banana-rama!
24:15So, will you be getting wipers fitted?
24:18I'm just wondering what colour your bush is.
24:21Debs?
24:23I've been sick.
24:25Great.
24:30Were these here when I lived here?
24:33No, no, they're Gary's contribution.
24:36It's a mural depicting our life together.
24:39What's that all about, then?
24:41That is our first trip to the bottle bank.
24:47And this is our first beach holiday together.
24:54A typical day.
24:58Oh, that's me!
25:01I'm in a mural.
25:03Fantastic.
25:05Oh, I'm really touched.
25:08And the conception.
25:15The wardrobe's going in front of that one.
25:18And those are yours.
25:21Oh. Oh, yeah.
25:24Yeah.
25:26Yeah.
25:28You know, there really are some really good articles in these.
25:32Yeah, can you get rid of them, please?
25:36Dorothy, can I ask you a question?
25:39Mm-hm.
25:41Am I sexy?
25:46Um...
25:49Yeah, can you give me a hand?
25:51Yeah, I know I'm a bit more sensible now,
25:53but that doesn't mean I can't be sexy, does it?
25:56No, look, these are your...
25:58You can be sensible and sexy.
26:00Look at Michelle Pfeiffer.
26:02You're welcome in the modern postal service.
26:05If she passed the appropriate tests.
26:08Are you all right?
26:10Well, everything's twice the size it was nine months ago
26:12and I'm growing another head inside me.
26:14Let's start there.
26:16I'm sorry.
26:18You see, I think I'm still sexy, but in a different way.
26:21It's like I used to be an Alfa Romeo spider
26:24and now I'm just a Citroen Berlingo.
26:26Yeah, all right. I'll tell you.
26:28You've become predictable and boring
26:30and you never actually preferred it when you were thoughtless and silly.
26:33At least you were a bit more exciting.
26:37Well, I'm sorry.
26:42But that's the way I am.
26:45I've matured like a fine wine.
26:49And Deb will just have to like me the way I am.
26:56So, not sexy?
26:58No.
27:28No.
27:59Oh.
28:20Help!
28:22Help!
28:25I think it's all right.
28:27I feel almost like a baby!
28:29It's all right, actually. It's OK. No, it's fine. It's nothing.
28:31It's nothing. It's fine. Thank you.
28:46Oh, God.
28:55Just move that out of the way.
28:57Every postman has to do it.
29:14It's weird, isn't it? Why haven't the phones rung all day?
29:17You've stolen them. They're all in your bag.
29:20Oh, yeah. Well, if you can't loot your own office, what can you do?
29:25You're both very chirpy today. Are you drunk?
29:28No.
29:30We've been headhunted by Croydon alarms.
29:35They know you're both a bit bonkers, do they?
29:37Yes, they do. Yes, they like that.
29:40Well, I'm pleased for you. Congratulations.
29:43Well, we could put in a good word for you.
29:47We'd give you a reasonable reference.
29:49Anthony, don't make me lock you in the cupboard on your last day.
29:52Blywood Pelican from BJB Security. Anyone?
29:55No, thanks.
29:57Look, your old dictaphone.
30:00Anthea? What's the name of that fat bastard in Coventry?
30:05Anthea?
30:09George and I put our heads together
30:11and we've come up with a farewell present for you.
30:14Oh, thanks. I haven't got you anything.
30:17Perhaps we ought to keep this. No, no.
30:23Oh, well, that is...
30:25That's lovely in its own way.
30:28What is it?
30:30It's a picture of a yacht made out of our own hair.
30:37Marjorie's hairdresser friend Joan makes them.
30:40If you're completely bald, she'll do it with toenails.
30:44Well, I am tarnished.
30:46I'll tell you what.
30:48Why don't we go to a pub and have a farewell drink?
30:51Oh!
31:03Um...
31:05I'm sorry if I've ever been...
31:07mean.
31:09Have I ever been mean?
31:11Yes.
31:13Now, to be honest, I think we should be more honest.
31:16Or do I mean more sexy?
31:19Yeah.
31:22Have a ruler, you two.
31:24No, no. No.
31:31Oh!
31:34This should be on.
31:39You know, you've been a marvellous company over the years.
31:43Now, I know there's a generation gap,
31:47but in a funny way,
31:49that's the way you are.
31:51I like it.
31:54Although...
31:56It's years since I was in a public house.
31:59Marvellous company.
32:01You, George, with literally thousands of cardigans.
32:08And you, Anthea, with your infectious humming.
32:13Would you hum for me one last time?
32:18No, no.
32:20No, try again.
32:22A bit lower.
32:24Ooh, who's this?
32:29Hello?
32:31Oh, yes.
32:33Yes.
32:35Oh, yes.
32:36Oh, marvellous. Lovely.
32:38Lovely. That's good.
32:40OK. Well, I'll see you later.
32:43Bye.
32:45It's the midwife.
32:47They've been trying to get hold of me for four hours.
32:50Dorothy is very much in labour.
32:53Oh, my God.
32:58Just leave it. It doesn't matter.
33:11LAUGHTER
33:17Bus! Bus!
33:19LAUGHTER
33:21Bus! Bus!
33:23You have banned me!
33:25You will never work again!
33:28Emergency! Emergency!
33:30I'm having a baby!
33:32I'm sorry, I'm having a little tiny baby.
33:35How do you get...?
33:37LAUGHTER
33:39I'm having a baby!
33:44There'll be another one along in a minute. You'll be fine.
34:05Hi, Ken. Hello, love. What can I get you?
34:07Is there anything on the go?
34:09No, anything.
34:21What's up? You seem a bit down in the dumps.
34:23Have you got the painters in?
34:25No. I'm meeting Tony here.
34:27I'm going to tell him I want him to move out of my flat.
34:30Oh. Can I move in? No.
34:33So what went wrong?
34:35It's ironic. For years I've wanted Tony to be more sensible,
34:39and now he is, I realise I liked him better the way he was.
34:43Well, that certainly is ironic.
34:45I feel so guilty.
34:47You know, I think there's a lesson to be learned by us all here.
34:53I don't know what it is, but I sense there is one.
35:06Hi.
35:08Hello.
35:11What have you been up to?
35:13This and that.
35:15Great.
35:18Where are your glasses?
35:35LAUGHTER
35:51Does this make me superficial?
35:53Yep. But never mind.
36:01Another one of those and a Malibu and Coke for the lady, please.
36:04All right, don't overdo it.
36:08God, f***!
36:10F***!
36:12Bastard men!
36:14You bastard, bastard men!
36:16F***!
36:21Sorry, was I shouting?
36:23Just a bit.
36:25Nearly there.
36:27What f***ing time do you call this, you f***er?!
36:35Oh, God, we're having a baby!
36:46That's probably normal.
36:48Oh, no, I can't hear you!
36:52I'm sorry I'm late. I've been drinking heavily.
36:55Don't ever have sex with me again, ever, ever!
36:58It's the real...
37:00Shh, shh, shh. Everything's all right now.
37:02Although I have just knocked out the midwife.
37:06Oh, the baby's coming!
37:08What? Oh, God!
37:10Will you just be calm and call me?
37:12Phone an ambulance.
37:14I can't remember the number.
37:16What's this, a nine-something?
37:18No, it's too late. Come and hold me.
37:20The baby's coming, the baby's coming, the baby's coming!
37:23Ah, ah, ah!
37:28Now, just remember what we learned in the classes.
37:31I can't personally, but as I say, I'd really rather piss.
37:37I'll get you a couple of aspirins.
37:39For a magazine, take your mind off it.
37:41Oh, no, no, no, just go back to work, please!
37:44I haven't got any work.
37:46I can dedicate myself to you now.
37:53Oh, don't worry about me, you old sinny!
37:58Are you all right?
38:00I'll do anything.
38:02Oh, my Gary Lee!
38:06Hello, me!
38:11Me and Deb have been celebrating.
38:13You were OK again!
38:15I'm going to respond more to her needs,
38:17and she's going to, you know, do something.
38:21Why is Dorothy on her knees?
38:23Out, out, out!
38:25No, I'm just relaxing on my knees.
38:28Oh, the baby's coming!
38:30Oh!
38:34Pull!
38:35No, push!
38:37Push!
38:46Big breath!
38:48We know that.
38:51Dorothy, can I get you a beer?
38:56What was it again, love?
38:58Think of the pain as sand crashing on a wavy beach.
39:02Baby coming!
39:04Clear out of the way, there's nothing to see here!
39:07I love you, Dorothy.
39:09Don't worry, we're standing by.
39:11Standing very by!
39:14Oh, warmsome!
39:20Bottoms up.
39:21Not you, love!
39:34You could get a job in a school.
39:37Oi, you, get down off that fence.
39:39I saw that. Like that.
39:43Now...
39:46You could be a park keeper with your own hut.
39:52Quite dank, those huts, aren't they?
39:54Yeah.
39:56Stuntman.
39:58Now you're talking.
40:00Nothing too dangerous, of course.
40:02Only stunts that involve...
40:04Falling softly on big cushions.
40:06Yeah.
40:08Or I could have a word for you down at the sorting office with Tiny Knob.
40:13It's not really me, is it?
40:15Get to deliver your own letters?
40:18Even so.
40:20I was never right for my own job, was I?
40:22I felt like a giant redwood trapped in a tiny allotment.
40:26I don't mean that in an arrogant way.
40:28Oh.
40:31So, how's Kylie?
40:36She's fine.
40:38So, they always come out that blobby, do they?
40:40Yeah.
40:43Oh, you must be so proud.
40:46Helping to deliver your own baby.
40:48Yeah.
40:50Using the little-known shouting-through-the-door method.
40:55I suppose I could just stay at home, be a house husband.
40:58Be nice, bring Dorothy cups of tea in the morning.
41:00Yeah. Pop down the shop and get those little jars of wet food.
41:03Yeah.
41:05Apparently, you have to get up at night occasionally.
41:09Why?
41:11I don't know. I haven't read the book.
41:23Oh.
41:27Have you thought of a name yet?
41:29No.
41:32Oh.
41:34Why didn't we do this ten years ago?
41:36Cos you weren't mature enough.
41:38No.
41:41Um, have you seen the new Peugeot 406?
41:43Very reliable.
41:47Is she hungry?
41:49No, I don't think so. Just sleepy.
41:51Oh.
41:57Oh.
42:00This is Deborah.
42:02Hello.
42:04She helped deliver you.
42:06Cos Daddy got drunk and knocked out the midwife.
42:09That's not actually as bad as it sounds.
42:13This is Tony.
42:15Hello, Kylie.
42:17Oh, whatever.
42:20He's a postman.
42:22But you might not want to get him onto that.
42:24You're going to have his old room, where he's had lots of adventures,
42:27most of them involving Razzle magazine.
42:32Hey, darling,
42:34any chance of a...
42:36you know, tonight?
42:40When you're ready, there's no hurry.
42:44Tony, no!
42:46I wasn't going to.
42:58OK.
43:02Ooh!
43:27Ooh!