3rd Rock From The Sun NBC Split Screen Credits

Split Screen Credits Archive

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Transcript

00:00It's everywhere. It's got all of America talking. It's The Weakest Link.

00:08She's been called the most feared woman on television.

00:11Yeah.

00:12You are The Weakest Link. Toodle-oo!

00:15You are The Weakest Link.

00:16Goodbye.

00:17Goodbye.

00:18Who is allergic to intelligence?

00:23You are The Weakest Link.

00:25It's gonna get ya.

00:27Sundays at 8, 7 Central on NBC.

00:30Goodbye.

00:31From the network that brought you the Olympic Games comes the Battle of the NBC Boneheads.

00:36It's Matthew from News Radio versus Third Rock's Harry.

00:39From special training diets to countless hours of falling over and over again,

00:44they prepare a lifetime for this competition.

00:46Event number one, high chair jumping.

00:48Prepare to be dazzled.

00:50Using only a chair, they must display a breathtaking lack of grace and agility.

00:54Who's the bigger bonehead? You be the judge.

00:56The Battle of the NBC Boneheads will continue. Watch for it.

01:00Stone left this at the prom last night.

01:04I think he was spiking the punch.

01:05What makes you think that?

01:07Well, I woke up on the football field when the sprinklers came on.

01:14Well, I'll be sure to tell him.

01:16Where's my evidence?

01:17I don't know.

01:19Geez! This happens to me all the time.

01:21Guns, drugs, I even lost a whole dead guy once.

01:25Wednesday, the season finale of Ed.

01:28And a near-miss kiss leads to an invitation.

01:31So, want to go to prom with me tomorrow night?

01:33What?

01:34A Stuckyville prom, and everyone's looking for a date.

01:37Oh, hey.

01:38May I have this dance?

01:40Sure.

01:41It's the moment America's been waiting for, and just when things are heating up.

01:46Do you want to come in for a drink?

01:48We've got a surprise ending you'll be talking about all summer.

01:52The season finale of Ed. Wednesday on NBC.

01:55Now, the 3rd Rock 3D Spectacular can be yours through this special TV offer.

02:00Just call 1-800-680-1800.

02:03For $14.95 plus shipping, you can own this special cool collector's edition video

02:07with never-before-seen footage, behind-the-scenes interviews, and hilarious outtakes.

02:11Four pairs of 3D glasses included.

02:13Have your credit card ready and call 1-800-680-1800.

02:171-800-680-1800.

02:21Surprise!

02:24Oh, my God!

02:26Now you have a TV on the ground floor.

02:28That's the biggest TV I've ever seen. How did you avoid this?

02:31Well, I sold your grandmother's antique end tables.

02:34What?

02:35Actually, that only covered the down payment.

02:37You have 12 more monthly payments of $265.

02:40What?

02:43Gun smoke!

02:46I know what you did last season.

02:48Last May, the big giant head,

02:50William Shatner, made Sally High Commander

02:53and fathered Vicky's alien baby.

02:57Premiere week.

02:58Find out what the baby looks like.

03:00If there were any tentacles, it would show up in the sauna.

03:04And with Sally in charge, how will Dick cope?

03:07It's a lot to think about.

03:09Stop thinking about it!

03:11The 3rd Rock premiere, NBC Tuesday, in two weeks.

03:14From the network that brought you the Olympic Games

03:16comes the Battle of the NBC Boneheads.

03:19It's Matthew from News Radio versus 3rd Rock's Harry.

03:22From special training diets

03:24to countless hours of falling over and over again,

03:27they prepare a lifetime for this competition.

03:29Event number one, high chair jumping.

03:31Prepare to be dazzled.

03:33Using only a chair,

03:34they must display a breathtaking lack of grace and agility.

03:37Who's the bigger bonehead? You be the judge.

03:40The Battle of the NBC Boneheads will continue.

03:42Watch for it.

03:46♪♪

04:13Hey, don't miss the season premiere of 3rd Rock.

04:15Now, here's Harry and the aliens with Evil Dick.

04:18Dick's a very freaky alien.

04:20I'm gorgeous!

04:21From the 3rd Rock from the sun.

04:25But now his evil twin is taking over.

04:28I'm your new high commandant.

04:29Lock Dick in the basement now.

04:32It's Evil Dick, Evil Dick.

04:34He wants to rule the planet.

04:36It's Evil Dick, Evil Dick.

04:38And good Dick just can't stand it.

04:39In two weeks, the season premiere of 3rd Rock from the sun

04:41with special guest Dennis Rodman.

04:43Featuring Seinfeld Español.

05:03He's funny in any language.

05:04And this Thursday, Seinfeld packs twice the fun

05:06in a special all-new one-hour episode.

05:08Will you stop it with the subtitles, please?

05:11Those wondering where NewsRadio is, find out at the beep.

05:14Hi, you've reached the office of Jimmy James.

05:16We've moved NewsRadio to Sunday after mad about you.

05:18My fine staff loves to work weekends anyway.

05:21Hi, it's me, Beth.

05:22You know, the overworked and underpaid in a dead-end job, Beth.

05:25Anyway, can you believe this guy working weekends?

05:27Hello, I barely work during the week.

05:28Anyway, leave a message. Bye.

05:29This is news anchor Bill McNeil.

05:31We've moved NewsRadio to Sunday.

05:33I wonder if this means I'll get a bigger office.

05:35This is news director Dave Nelson, and no, Bill, you won't.

05:38NewsRadio has moved to Sunday.

05:40Back with Tom Jones and part two of NBC's comedy classics quiz.

05:44Fraser and Diane, do you agree to tie the knot?

05:47I do.

05:48But did they really?

05:49Well, she left me at the altar.

05:51I had just vowed to take her for my wife.

05:54The priest asked her if she would marry me.

05:56She looked around and asked if he was talking to her.

06:01He nodded and she was gone.

06:03Oh, that's so tragic.

06:05But this Valentine's Day, lightning strikes twice.

06:14Tonight, Conan's time travel week.

06:16TV like you've never seen before.

06:18Well, you have, but not in the last few minutes.

06:20Ancient Greece.

06:23The future.

06:27It's the Civil War.

06:28What should we do?

06:29Find a bookie, because I'm pretty sure I remember who wins this one.

06:33And you thought jet lag was exhausting.

06:35Conan's time travel week starts tonight.

06:37It's about time.

06:44Does the upcoming premiere of Malibu Shores leave you generationally challenged?

06:48Then check out NBC's handy guide to Malibu speak.

06:51First, the boy.

06:52That's him?

06:53Oh, he's a Val.

06:54Val, a resident of the valley.

06:56An undesirable.

06:57He's a gangbanger, Val.

06:58Gangbanger, a Val who hangs out with young ruffians, a hoodlum.

07:02Now, the girl.

07:03Is that Chloe Walker?

07:04Man, did she morph.

07:05Morph to grow up, acquire a figure.

07:07I bet she's still a brainer.

07:09Brainer, one who is smart, therefore unpopular.

07:12Keep practicing and watch the premiere of Malibu Shores Saturday.

07:17We are so funny.

07:20You know, this night of a thousand laughs is great.

07:22My stomach hurts, but it hurts so good.

07:26Who are we gonna laugh at next?

07:27Brotherly love.

07:28Oh, good.

07:29I enjoy those lovable little Lawrence brothers.

07:31Yeah, that Joey Lawrence really gets my motor going.

07:35Yes, he is quite the mechanic.

07:40What?

07:41Later, the laughs are on Seinfeld, Frasier, Mad About You, and NewsRadio.

07:45Put your pocket protectors and fire up your joysticks.

07:47It's time to play NBC's Name That Nerd.

07:49Shall we play a game?

07:51All right, check out this 1982 commercial.

07:53Do you have ice hockey by Activision?

07:55Yikes!

07:56Is nerd boy ER's Anthony Edwards,

07:58news radio's Phil Hartman,

08:00or Frasier's David Hyde Pierce?

08:02Ready to battle for the pot?

08:04Well, inflict fierce body checking.

08:06Ruthless tripping!

08:08I'm ready! I'm ready!

08:09It's our boy Phil Hartman,

08:11who traded in his game cartridge for a microphone on NewsRadio Sunday.

08:19Professor Otto Schmenge here with another profile in psychosis.

08:24Today, the mysterious news radio syndrome.

08:27Symptoms may include frequent ritualized oral contact.

08:31Yes.

08:32Who are you and what do you want?

08:33Irrational rage directed at telephones.

08:36And in later stages, unusual workplace fashions.

08:40New research hints at a cure to the use of the goofy ball.

08:43Please help by watching the hilarious season finale of NewsRadio.

08:48People are talking about Mad About You

08:50as Paul and Jamie face their biggest crisis.

08:52What's going to happen now?

08:54I don't know. I don't know.

08:57And here's what America's saying.

08:59I've seen them argue, but never like that.

09:01They're like your best friends. You don't want to see them break up.

09:04I really hope they patch it up.

09:05I mean, they're such a great couple.

09:07Have they seen a counselor?

09:08Jamie and Paul are right here in my heart.

09:10I'm going to watch it. I'm going to see what happens.

09:12Don't miss the season finale of Mad About You next Sunday.

09:16Our sympathetic chat with a concerned family member on NBC's Mad About You.

09:20Hey, Murray, how you doing, man? Feeling kind of down lately, huh?

09:23Yeah, I know things are really rocky between Paul and Jamie.

09:26The milk bones are probably few and far between, yeah.

09:29They were so happy for four great years.

09:32That's, what, 28 years for your people, right?

09:34What's going to happen now?

09:36I don't know. I don't know.

09:38Aw, come on, you're breaking my heart.

09:40Dude, Murray, don't do this to me.

09:41Mad About You, the big finale.

09:43All your questions will be answered this Sunday on NBC.

09:45Now back to the NBC Comedy Club

09:47Back to the NBC Comedy Club as Jeff Foxworthy talks about how to understand Southerners.

09:51We have words in the South they don't even have in California.

09:54Like, my brother has the word used to could.

09:58Can you dance? Well, I used to could.

10:04Probably one of my favorite Southern words is sensuous.

10:07I told my old lady, sensuous up, get me a beer.

10:11Hey, have you heard? Jeff Foxworthy comes to NBC Mondays this fall.

10:18Now, a Third Rock Olympic tribute.

10:21It says here the Olympics are an ancient Greek festival of athletics held every four years to celebrate Zeus.

10:26Oh, who's Zeus?

10:28Only the doctor who wrote The Cat in the Hat.

10:32Oh, boy, is there green eggs and ham on my face.

10:36It's 38 days and counting to America's Games, the 1996 Summer Olympics on NBC.

10:41Oh, and don't forget, Third Rock moves to Sundays beginning this fall right after the Olympics.

10:47Third Rock from the Sun is moving to Sundays. Now, here's Harry and the Aliens.

10:52He's a freaked out geek from outer space on the Third Rock from the Sun.

10:58And soon he'll be moving to Sunday nights at 8-7 Central.

11:04He's an alien, alien on TV.

11:10Now on Sunday nights here on NBC.

11:14Third Rock from the Sun is moving to Sundays.

11:16Wondering where NewsRadio is? Find out at the beep.

11:20Hi, you've reached the office of Jimmy James. We've moved NewsRadio to Sunday after mad about you.

11:24My fine staff loves to work weekends anyway.

11:26Hi, it's me, Beth. You know, the overworked and underpaid in a dead-end job, Beth.

11:30Anyway, can you believe this is Sunday weekends? Hello, I barely work during the week.

11:34Anyway, leave a message. Bye.

11:35This is news anchor Bill McNeil. We've moved NewsRadio to Sunday.

11:38I wonder if this means I'll get a bigger office.

11:40This is news director Dave Nelson, and no, Bill, you won't.

11:43NewsRadio has moved to Sunday.

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