Fawlty Towers_ The best of Polly

Erjol Muarem

9/26/2024

Transcript

00:00Mr. Paulting. Yes? Can I have a word with you? Yes.

00:03Oh, this is Polly. She will be serving you later this evening.

00:06Ah. Well?

00:08It's Kurt. Yes?

00:10He's potted the shrimps.

00:13What? He's potted the shrimps.

00:16Shrimps? We're not having shrimps tonight, Polly.

00:19Now, would you... He's soused the herrings.

00:23What are you on about?

00:25He's pickled the onions

00:27and he's smashed the eggs in his cups under the table.

00:32Happy anniversary.

00:34Happy anniversary.

00:36Oh, dear.

00:39How are you feeling, dear?

00:42Oh, that's a shame.

00:44Yes, Mr. Paulting?

00:45I know these kind of drawings are considered decent at art school.

00:48Would you please not leave them lying around on display at the reception?

00:51I'll put them away when I've got some clothes on.

00:53I mean, bit.

00:54Waitress. Yes?

00:57There's a hare in my mousse.

01:00Well, don't talk too loud.

01:02Everybody will want one.

01:04What?

01:10Birdbrain.

01:12No, no, no, that came in third.

01:14Uh...

01:16Fishwife. What?

01:18No, no, not fifth.

01:20Small.

01:22Fly. Fly.

01:25Flying tart.

01:29No.

01:30No, no, it got off to a flying start.

01:33And its name...

01:35was Dragonfly.

01:40So, you see, we couldn't possibly manage it for at least three weeks.

01:44But if you want it done straightaway,

01:46I suggest you try someone like, uh...

01:48Oh, what's his name?

01:50It's, uh...

01:51O'Reilly?

01:52Bravo, Polly. Well done, Gilbert.

01:54Listen, where are you speaking from?

01:56She's in here with me, Basil.

02:00It was rude, Mr Fawlty. I said, rude!

02:02Well, I'm deeply sorry if it came over like that.

02:04I mean, nothing could have been further from my mind.

02:06You told me to shut up!

02:08No, no, he told me to shut up.

02:09He what?

02:10He said it to me!

02:11Oh, no, I was, uh, looking at you, but I was talking to Polly.

02:13Wasn't I, Polly?

02:14Oh, yes.

02:15Uh, did you notice then that I was looking at you, but talking to her?

02:17What?

02:18You see, he was looking at you, but talking to me.

02:20Wasn't he?

02:21Wasn't I.

02:22What?

02:23So you weren't being rude, were you, Mr Fawlty?

02:24Absolutely not.

02:25You see, me?

02:26Yes.

02:27Yeah, but if you say shut up to somebody, that's the one you want to shut up, isn't it?

02:29Well, not necessarily.

02:30I'm sorry, were you talking to me?

02:31Yes.

02:32I beg your pardon.

02:33Ah, there, you see how easily these misunderstandings occur?

02:35Oh, yes, I do.

02:36So, uh, one cheese salad, then, please, Polly.

02:38Certainly, Mr Hutcheson.

02:40Oh, Polly, I want to see you at reception in one minute in your hat and coat.

02:43I'm sorry?

02:44I want to see you at reception in one minute in your hat and coat.

02:46Will they fit you?

02:47No!

02:49You, you!

02:50I'm sorry about this.

02:51You can't really blame her.

02:52She doesn't have much in her life.

02:53She has to make her own entertainment.

02:54She has trouble with her arm.

02:56That's why she goes in the cupboard.

02:57Exactly.

02:58Are you feeling better?

02:59Her arm gets stuck there.

03:01It's always happening to her.

03:02He's dead.

03:03This is her husband.

03:04She hasn't got over it.

03:05He died 30 years ago.

03:06She doesn't mean any harm.

03:09In the cupboard.

03:10No more today!

03:11You've had enough!

03:12Oh, my God, look at that!

03:19Polly, what's that smell?

03:22Flowers.

03:23I just got them from the garden.

03:24Well, what are you stinking the place out with those for?

03:26What's happened to the plastic ones?

03:28They're being ironed.

03:31Now, farm carousel.

03:33Lamb?

03:34Casserole.

03:35Oh, sounds good.

03:36Does it come with a smile?

03:37It comes with sprouts or carrots.

03:39Oh, a smile's extra, is it?

03:40You'll get one if you eat up all your sprouts.

03:43We need another one of these.

03:44There is sugar on it.

03:45What a sweet place.

03:47What?

03:48I'll have it replaced.

03:49Well, why is there sugar in this salt, sir?

03:50What do you think we'd pay you for?

03:51My staying power.

03:54Oh, I see!

03:55Mr. Lehman!

03:56Yes.

03:58We thought you said the linen.

04:00Brilliant!

04:01Sorry, sorry, that's it.

04:02That's it.

04:03Look, she'll love it.

04:04She's German.

04:06No, Mr. Porter!

04:07What?

04:08Do Jimmy Cagney instead.

04:09What?

04:10Jimmy Cagney.

04:11Jimmy Cagney?

04:12You know, your dirty rhyme.

04:13I can't do Jimmy Cagney.

04:15Please try.

04:16Shut up!

04:17No, I'm sorry.

04:18I really don't.

04:19Oh, just a fiver.

04:20You can have it on approval.

04:21Sorry.

04:22It's for my sister's eye operation.

04:25You bastard.

04:26It's in a bag.

04:28Is your veal...

04:29In her bag.

04:30In her bag?

04:31What?

04:32Excuse me.

04:34Do you know where you're going to?

04:35Can you recommend a restaurant?

04:38Yes, of course.

04:39What sort of...

04:41Where is somewhere that serves really good veal, Polly?

04:43Somewhere in the...

04:44Veal, yes, of course.

04:45A really good restaurant.

04:47Wait just a minute because I do remember a place

04:49where I had some really good veal once.

04:52Only I just can't think of the name of it.

04:54It was...

04:56La-dee-da.

04:59Did you see Annie Hall?

05:01La-dee-da.

05:03Annie Hall.

05:04Are you blind?

05:05They were on my head all the time.

05:06Didn't you see?

05:07Yes.

05:08Didn't God give you eyes?

05:09Yes, but I don't use them

05:10because of where the batteries are.

05:13It's done.

05:14Done.

05:15Done.

05:16Done.

05:17It's on.

05:20It's done again.

05:23Give it to me.

05:24Give it to me.

05:27No, he just fell over Manuel

05:28and he seems to have got himself jammed

05:30over the swivel chair.

05:32And the flowers have just fallen on him.

05:34No, everything else is fine.

05:36He must have escaped, Mr. Paul.

05:37He didn't come back.

05:38Come back?

05:40They home.

05:42Oh, I see.

05:43He's a homing rat, is he?

05:46What are you doing, Polly?

05:47Just preparing some sausages.

05:50Bangers a la bang.

05:52How do you do?

05:53Well, wait a minute, wait a minute.

05:54We've met before, I think.

05:55Yes, I served you at breakfast.

05:56Oh, yes.

05:57And you spilt the grapefruit juice,

05:58didn't you, you naughty girl?

05:59And you moved the glass, didn't you?

06:01Thank you, Polly.

06:02You're an awfully nice girl.

06:03Very bright.

06:04She's a fully qualified painter, you know.

06:05Oh, really?

06:07Ah!

06:08He's dead!

06:09Very bright.

06:12Oh, my God.

06:13It's all right, Mr...

06:14Shut up, shut up.

06:15Oh, my God.

06:16Slap her, slap her, slap her.

06:17Once she's hysterical, slap her.

06:18Murder!

06:19Slap her!

06:20Murder!

06:21Slap her!

06:24Oh, spiffing.

06:25Absolutely spiffing.

06:27It isn't going to work.

06:28What's the matter?

06:29What's the matter?

06:30I'm not doing it.

06:31You want to be in a Marx Brothers film,

06:32that's your problem.

06:33I'm not interested.

06:34Not interested?

06:35No.

06:36This is all your fault.

06:37My fault?

06:38You set to say she was ill.

06:39You were the one who invited them to come up here.

06:40I didn't want to.

06:41You be Sybil.

06:42You get into the bed.

06:43I'm too big.

06:44I've got a moustache.

06:45What's this supposed to be, a very big, hairy bogey?

06:46It's something you get when you're puffed up.

06:47I'll ruin you.

06:48You'll never waitress in Torquay again.

06:49Waitress?

06:50That's a joke.

06:51I help out at reception.

06:52I clean the rooms.

06:53I deal with the tradesmen.

06:54I mend the switchboard.

06:55I change the fuses.

06:56And if you think my duties now include impersonating members of your family,

06:57you have got one more screw loose than I thought.

06:58Basil.

06:59Basil.

07:00Basil.

07:01Basil.

07:02Basil.

07:03Basil.

07:04Basil.

07:05Basil.

07:06Basil.

07:07Basil.

07:08Basil.

07:09Basil.

07:10Basil.

07:11Cheeseies.

07:12Basil.

07:13Yes.

07:14Here I am.

07:15Oh, hello Mr. Foley.

07:16Oh, that's for me, is it?

07:18Shall I get you some more?

07:19There's plenty.

07:20He's called Basil is he?

07:21Don't play dumb with me.

07:22I trusted you.

07:23You're responsible for this.

07:24Oh, I've got a friend who'll look after him, Mr. Foley.

07:25Just.

07:26I can't be prissy and quaint.

07:27How can I be when I ain't?

07:28I can't be when I ain't.

07:29I can't be when I ain't.

07:30I can't be when I ain't.

07:31I can't be when I ain't.

07:32I can't be when I ain't.

07:33I can't be when I ain't.

07:34greasy and quaint. How can I be what I ain't? I can't say no.

Fawlty Towers_ The best of Polly

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