Langston Kerman Bad Poetry (2024) Clip

Comedian Langston Kerman talks parenting a top-tier baby, teaching mean teens and managing his mother-in-law's dating apps in this hilarious special.

Transcript

00:00I just found out my wife thinks that I'm special needs and yes she means it in a derogatory way

00:08she's a bad lady she should go to jail lock her up

00:15the other day she called me from work and she said this to me verbatim verbatim this is what

00:20she said to me now keep in mind I have changed some of the words to make me sound better and

00:27her sound worse but verbatim this is what she said to me she called me up right and she said hey

00:36I'm making chili tonight and I need you to heat up a can of beans and then she said and I'll

00:42never forget it she said and whatever you do don't put the can in the microwave

00:57you understand she told me her emergency contact

01:04not to put a can and when she said that I took a deep breath

01:08you know what I mean I took a deep breath and I really thought about all the time we've spent

01:13together the love that we've shared the bond that we've built I took a deep breath and then

01:19finally very calmly I said I said I said bitch I'll fucking kill you