Matapos ang 7 years na pagpapahinga mula sa showbiz, nagbabalik ang aktres at singer na si Timmy Cruz sa Kapuso murder mystery na Widows’ War, na pinagbibidahan nina Carla Abellana at Bea Alonzo.
Sa part 2 ng kaniyang panayam with Nelson Canlas, panoorin ang sagot sa tanong kung gaano kalapit ang karakter niya sa totoong buhay.
Sa part 2 ng kaniyang panayam with Nelson Canlas, panoorin ang sagot sa tanong kung gaano kalapit ang karakter niya sa totoong buhay.
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00:00How did it change you? How did it change your mentality? The way you look at things?
00:29First of all, let's talk about the fear factor. In my younger years and up to the point where
00:37I was diagnosed with cancer, I thought that I was a brave woman, a brave person. I thought
00:43that I had weathered so much in my life and that I had experienced so much. Then eventually
00:48I realized that I wasn't really that brave, that I was really afraid of many things. I
00:53was also afraid of some people. I was afraid of the future and all these things. I was
00:59afraid of it. But when this happened to me, the fear went away.
01:05Isn't that ironic?
01:07It's the opposite. It's the opposite of what happened to me. What I did was I totally put
01:14my trust in God in a way that I've never done before.
01:19So there's a renewed relationship between you and God?
01:22It's a stronger and more at home kind of relationship. It's not a faraway relationship. It's like
01:29a relationship that's like, hey, let's go. It's that simple. I don't have to kneel down
01:39and really pray that.
01:41So the relationship is more personal?
01:44Yeah, it's really personal. I realized that I don't need to ask for anything. He's there.
01:50He's going to take care of me all the way, every step of the way. I'm no longer afraid
01:56of death, the way that I was before. I'm no longer afraid of people who think that they
02:03are better than me or whatever that may be, or people who look down on me or whoever.
02:09I'm no longer afraid of them. I'm liberated. I'm free. I'm free now.
02:17I just have one thing to say, Miss Timmy. I've never seen you for a long time, like super long time.
02:24I think the last time I saw you in person was when I was a teenager. You were launching
02:29your album. That was the last time I lined up and I saw you in person.
02:35Amazing.
02:36The next time I saw you was in that red carpet in Povido's War. And you look the same.
02:44Wow.
02:45But what I saw in there was a woman who was just enjoying herself. You were doing like that.
02:53Three times. Yeah, I was.
02:56And I felt like, you don't care. You don't care about anyone. I just want to enjoy.
03:06Yeah.
03:08Everybody was walking the red carpet and doing their pose and doing whatever.
03:18When your name was called, you walked the red carpet and you just danced.
03:25Yeah. Yeah, I did.
03:29What is going on in there?
03:31What is going on in there? At this point in life,
03:34really, before I entered Showbiz in my younger days, I went through a lot of things in my
03:41personal life and I was really quite a mess. And then I went to Showbiz with my eyes closed.
03:49I jumped in there and I said, whatever, you know. But right now, when I decided to come back to
03:55Showbiz, which was last year, I'm coming back with my eyes open, my heart wide open. And also,
04:05I'm not here to take anything. I just want to enjoy everything and everyone. And I also want
04:13to share with everyone this new energy that I have.
04:17Well, what's the fun in always winning in the same manner as what's the fun in always losing?
04:24Exactly, exactly. So, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. I'm going in here
04:30with such authenticity and that's what I'm doing. And since I've seen Showbiz from afar in seven
04:40years, I realized how much I love the industry and how I respect the people, respect the talent.
04:50I just so respect the talent, really. It makes my heart.
04:55It's beautiful. You know, the way I see it, or the way you said it was,
05:01you have a newfound love for everything.
05:05Yes, I have.
05:06Like, every single thing, every single person that you see, it's like, wow, you wanted to connect.
05:13You wanted to... I can feel your aura. I can feel your energy like that right now.
05:18Really. Yeah, I learned to laser light, laser light focus. So, when I'm with someone,
05:27I want to pay attention to you. You know, I just want to be with you. I want to share with you,
05:33even if I don't talk. Like, for example, I just sit here and smile.
05:39You just want to be in the moment.
05:40Yeah, I just want to be in the moment. And then when I'm in the moment and I enjoy that moment,
05:45then the next moment will definitely be enjoyable. So, that's what I tell myself.
05:51Even when I'm waiting, I'm not doing anything. Or when I'm doing something, then I pause again.
05:59So, I'm in and out of this sound and silence. I'm in and out. And I'm in and out of pausing
06:05and acting and doing activities. I'm in and out of pausing. I love to compose myself.
06:11I always tell everybody, okay, I'm going to compose myself. It doesn't take long. It doesn't
06:16take long. Sometimes it takes long. Sometimes it takes a short time. But I always tell myself,
06:21okay, let me compose myself. I'll just breathe and then I'll get back to you.
06:28So much. I've learned so much and I'm feeling so good. I have aged physically,
06:35but my heart and my soul is energized.
06:38He's young.
06:40He's younger than ever before.
06:43Oh my gosh. You know, funny you should say that because that is how I felt when I saw you
06:50on the red carpet of Widows' Bar. I couldn't believe. You've got white hair. You've got
06:59platinum hair going on in there. But your spirit was young. Because you cannot fake it.
07:10I mean, you can fake looking young. But the aura, the energy that you would give
07:20other people, you can't fake that.
07:23You know what I was actually doing there? You saw me. I was sitting down, right?
07:28Yes.
07:28I was sitting down. So what I was doing there is I was sitting down and I was scanning everybody.
07:39And I was sending good wishes to everyone one by one, from left to right, from up to down.
07:49And then what I did was I showered the whole place with peace and happiness and love and success.
08:01And that's what I do all the time. What I do is I just sit in silence and I think of the entire
08:10world. And I'm standing on the planet and I'm just sending all these beautiful good wishes.
08:16And I'm starting from 1 billion, 2 billion, 3 billion, 4 billion, up to 9 billion people.
08:24So that's what I've been doing. It's what I call the world service. But it's incognito.
08:33Nobody knows about it. I'm just sitting here. I'm just doing that. Energy, energy, energy.
08:39Waves and waves and waves. And on that day, during the press conference,
08:46Ton-Ton and Jackie Lu were sitting on the other side.
08:51So I was also sending them good wishes, all the artists, of course.
08:57So I was looking at Jackie Lu and everything. And I was just sitting there like that.
09:03And then when we were shooting the other day, I was getting my makeup done.
09:07In my voice room, I was getting my makeup done because that's my makeup artist.
09:11I went into their tent. Ton-Ton told me,
09:14Come here, Miss Timmy. We're talking to you.
09:17He said that. I said, What are you talking about me?
09:22Jackie Lu and I were talking to you that day.
09:25Because we were on the other side, right?
09:28We were talking to you because you were just sitting there, not moving.
09:31He said that to me. You were just smiling. He said that to me.
09:36Then in a tent, Jackie Lu was there in our tent. He said, Jackie Lu, Jackie Lu Blanco, where are you?
09:42So Jackie Lu answered, I'm here. Come here.
09:45So the three of us were in the tent. They were laughing, laughing, laughing.
09:50Timmy, that day, you weren't doing anything. You were just sitting there, smiling.
09:55So you were actually meditating that time?
09:58I was meditating, yeah.
10:00You know how long I was sitting there?
10:02Ton-Ton said, Can you imagine? We were sitting there for three and a half hours.
10:07I was about to say two. It's more.
10:10More. And Ton-Ton said,
10:12Jackie Lu and I were just sitting there and I was still like that.
10:17I was meditating. I was sending good vibes to everyone.
10:21Because I knew that I wasn't going to be able to speak to anyone
10:25because, of course, they're going to focus on the stars.
10:29So I just said, you know, this is what I'm going to do.
10:32So I was busy, actually.
10:34Wow.
10:37What a remarkable thing to do.
10:42Because I was part of the, you know, I was part of the media.
10:47I actually saw you. I actually saw you.
10:51And I zeroed in on you.
10:54Only to find out recently, the other day, that you were going to interview me.
11:01I want to interview Timmy Cruz.
11:05Number one, because I grew up with her song.
11:10But there's something in you that I wanted to hear.
11:17What made you decide to go back to Showbiz?
11:19Knowing that you might not be able to go back.
11:22Exactly. Exactly.
11:24I was on vacation in the United States last year.
11:28And I was staying with my sister in Rhode Island.
11:30And she lived near the beach, which was a 10-minute, 15-minute walk.
11:37Yeah, it was beautiful.
11:38Every morning, I would go there and walk.
11:40I would ask my sister, my brother-in-law to come.
11:42Sometimes, we'd go together.
11:44But most of the time, I'd go alone.
11:46And there was no one in the beach but me.
11:50Me and the beach, the horizon, and the sky, and the sea, and God.
11:58And one day, because I exercise, walk, run.
12:02I also do Tai Chi.
12:04After all of that, one day, I was sitting in one of the boulders.
12:09And I just felt like saying, you know,
12:11So, God.
12:18And then I heard him or her or whoever said,
12:42Para ganyan ka lang.
12:43Para gromaduate ka lang.
12:44O para ganyan ka lang sa comfort zone mo.
12:49Wait, wait, wait, wait.
12:50Hindi pa. Hindi pa.
12:52I want you to go back in there face-to-face
12:57and share all this good stuff that you learned in the seven years.
13:02The good stuff, the bad stuff, the things that you, you know, share with people.
13:07Because within the seven years, what I was really doing was
13:11aside from composing and releasing songs,
13:15of course, I was working for a family business,
13:17which I have always done since day one.
13:20But what I did was I developed myself more as a meditator.
13:26And then I would also be part of our meditation community
13:31where we would conduct retreats.
13:34Our retreats are mostly about peace.
13:36It's called Inner Peace, Inner Power.
13:39And during those times, I would be asked to sing,
13:43to talk, to share, to share my experiences and everything.
13:47And I would also share one-on-one because a lot of people are depressed,
13:51are sad, lonely, lost.
13:53I would sit with them and listen to them.
13:56Seven years listening and sharing and everything.
14:00So natuto akong makipag-usap talaga sa mga taong nalulungkot at,
14:04you know, nawawala and ganyan.
14:07And natuto rin akong maging,
14:09tawag nito, maging super positive kasi kailangan mo silang i-uplift lage.
14:15So I coined my own music.
14:17The name of my music is Optimistic Music.
14:21And I started, you know, composing music that's universal.
14:26In fact, I have a new song now on Spotify
14:29and all the digital streaming platforms.
14:32The title of my song is Be a Friend.
14:34Be a Friend.
14:37And that is the song that I've wanted to write for a long, long time.
14:43So if you listen to that song, then you'll know what it's all about.
14:47I am going to listen to it right after this conversation.
14:51All right.
14:52Kasi whatever it is that you said mula kanina,
14:56when we started talking kanina,
14:58I want to experience that.
15:01And grabe yung that energy na binabato mo ngayon is really, really good.
15:07No, actually, the best way to describe it is it's peaceful.
15:13And a lot of us, if not all of us, want to experience that.
15:19Not just from the outside, but from the inside.
15:24It should emanate from the inside.
15:27Wait.
15:28Whatever this peaceful thing that you're telling me about,
15:37e parang anti-thesis nung role mo.
15:40So with those who are.
15:42Yes, yes, yes.
15:43Anti talaga.
15:45Super.
15:47Not just you, but a lot of the characters there.
15:52Everyone, everyone, yes.
15:54So actually, when I read the script, sabi ko,
15:56paano natin to pagtutug main?
15:59Paano to ko ma-align and everything?
16:00But I tell myself, it's a role.
16:02It's like a piece of clothing that I'm going to wear for that moment.
16:06And then I can just take it off.
16:09It shouldn't affect my inner self.
16:12So that's how I do it.
16:14But for me kasi, I have to be in character all the way for me.
16:22That's just my style.
16:24So ngary the day before, two days before, I go into my character.
16:29How does my character wash dishes?
16:32How does she fold?
16:33Or how does she cook?
16:34How does she slice?
16:36So I go through that.
16:37How does she walk?
16:39So I go in and out of my character days before.
16:43So right now we're shooting.
16:45I'm in and out of my character, even if I'm not taping.
16:49And then when I'm in the actual shoot, I interact with the other actors.
16:53They don't know that I'm doing that as part of my motivation.
16:58So I interact with them.
16:59I interact with the director.
17:01All the crew, everybody, the light people, the camera people.
17:04I stay there for a moment and I inhale, exhale all the energies.
17:09And then my co-stars, yung ka-eksena ko talaga,
17:13hindi niya alam pag gina-yakap ko na sila ganyan,
17:17may ibig sabihin na yun.
17:19So ganon, ganon yung ginagawa ko.
17:23Pero yun nga, mas maganda yung portrayal kasi mas buo yung preparation,
17:29mas buo yung nangyayari, mas kompleto.
17:32Nakikita ko sila mata sa mata talaga.
17:35Like when I act with Bea,
17:38Bea is such a great, good, talented, beautiful actress.
17:42And I play her mother kasi,
17:45so bago kami mag-uumpiso ng eksena, tinitinan ko muna siya.
17:50Imbes na mag-focus ako sa sarili ko lang,
17:53tinitinan ko muna siya para makapag-interact ako ng maganda sa kanya.
17:57Even with Jeric, who also plays my son,
18:00ganon din, tinitinan ko muna sila.
18:02Tapos hindi nila alam kung ano yung pinapadala ko sa kanila
18:06para maging maganda yung eksena namin.
18:08So, meron akong iba pang sandata,
18:12hindi katulad dati, sandata ko lang yung alam ko yung talent na yun.
18:15Kung paano memorize mo yung mga lines, mga gano'n.
18:19Ngayon, mas malawak, mas malawak.
18:22Mas buo.
18:23Mas buo, mas buo.
18:25Kaya sabi ko, sabi ko, salamat po na magagawa ko ito ngayon,
18:29na nagagawa ko na ngayon.
18:31At napaka-exciting ng inyong seriye,
18:35The cinematography, the plot,
18:40the way everyone is acting their roles,
18:44grabe.
18:46Grabe.
18:46Everyone is, I can feel that everyone is giving their best.
18:51And there's this underlying peace.
18:58There's this peace on the screen.
19:00underlying peace
19:03There's this peace on the set,
19:06which I deposited a long time ago.
19:10And you know what's nice?
19:12Director Zig Dulayanay, we have something in common.
19:15He's also a meditator.
19:18In another form.
19:19He has another way of meditating,
19:20but he's a very peaceful, compassionate person tala.
19:26I know, I know.
19:27I love Director Zig.
19:28And you know, like what you said,
19:32when you talk to him, he's very down-to-earth.
19:36And you can really feel the peace.
19:38I mean, I've seen him a lot during the taping
19:41of Maria Clara at Ibarra.
19:44And no matter how big the scene is,
19:47no matter how big,
19:49no matter how stressful they do it for the day,
19:53he'll just come to you.
19:54He'll say to you,
19:55How are you?
19:57Yes, let's do this.
19:59Actually, we talked a lot.
20:02We chit-chatted a lot in between the takes.
20:05And yet, we were able to do the take, right?
20:07But we chit-chatted a lot.
20:09Even the co-artists, co-stars,
20:12we chit-chatted a lot.
20:14And then, we talked a lot.
20:17And then, it kind of segues to the take.
20:19It's not like,
20:20Oh, let's do the take.
20:21It's not like that.
20:22And everybody's quiet.
20:24Everybody's smiling.
20:25Sometimes, there are people who are sulking, of course.
20:27But that's okay because they're tired.
20:31And it's hot.
20:32Sometimes, it's really hot.
20:33Sometimes, it rains.
20:35So, it's nice.
20:37Happy.
20:38Are you excited?
20:39I'm absolutely excited.
20:41I'm excited because it's really nice and good.
20:45And it's different.
20:46I've never been, or a lot of us have never been
20:49in a mystery murder.
20:51Because we've always been in a regular teleserye,
20:54love story, or drama.
20:57So, a lot of us have been in those kinds of plots.
21:01But you don't know who the killer is.
21:04Maybe it's me.
21:06I don't know either.
21:07We're not sure.
21:08We're not sure.
21:10Nobody knows.
21:11So, everybody can be a suspect.
21:14So, you think you're kind.
21:16But you're not kind.
21:17Like me, a lot of things happen to me in my character.
21:22I feel like I'm kind.
21:23But we don't know.
21:25We're not sure.
21:27And that's the beauty of it, right?
21:29It's not predictable.
21:31It's not predictable.
21:32It's not predictable.
21:33So, plus the visuals.
21:37The visuals help with the plot.
21:40The visuals and the cinematography.
21:43And the beauty of Direct-Z is
21:46there are some...
21:48For example, this is the scene.
21:50And the dialogue is over.
21:53He hasn't cut the camera yet.
21:55He hasn't cut it yet.
21:58So, sometimes, we, the actors, react.
22:01We still have something to show.
22:03Something special.
22:06It's better to have something like that.
22:10Sometimes, I hear a cut in my mind.
22:15Because the dialogue is over, for example.
22:17I hear a cut in my mind.
22:19But Direct-Z didn't cut it.
22:20The scene is huge.
22:22And then, he hasn't cut it yet.
22:24Oh, wait. I'm still fighting.
22:25Yes, something like that.
22:27So, a lot of things happen.
22:29So, I said, this is okay.
22:31It's like you're still doing a workshop.
22:34Wow, I love it.
22:35And then, everything will be great.
22:37Everything will be great.
22:37Everything will be great.
22:40I want to have autographs for all of them.
22:43One by one.
22:44There's a lot of serendipity, I guess, in your life.
22:48You know, it's not planned.
22:51And then, suddenly, there it is.
22:54Yes, I can't help but think.
22:56Earlier, I mean, your story about the big sea.
23:00How you found out, right?
23:02There's a lot of serendipity in your life.
23:05Yes, all of a sudden.
23:07All of a sudden, things like that.
23:09All of a sudden.
23:10Suddenly, it's like that.
23:12If you're going to write a story, you're writing a story.
23:14Suddenly, it's like that.
23:17And then, all at once, things like that.
23:19Yeah, so many.
23:20So, that's why now, I tell myself,
23:23just don't have any expectations.
23:26Just live your life and have fun.
23:28And give it your best.
23:30Just always give your best.
23:32So, that's what I'm doing.
23:33Give it your best.
23:34I mean, if you're going to decide to give something,
23:37give it now.
23:39If you're going to love somebody, love that person now.
23:42Not when that person is gone.
23:44So, what I do is, I love consistently.
23:48Even if it's just a little bit.
23:52But it's continuous.
23:53It's not a one-shot deal.
23:55Like, if I get rich, I'll love you for that.
23:59Or I'll give you this and that.
24:02That's not my style.
24:03My style is just a little bit.
24:06A little bit, a little bit, a little bit.
24:08But I feel it.
24:11That's what I'm used to.
24:12Because I saw, when I was young,
24:16I was watering a plant.
24:18Sometimes, when it's hot, it will wither.
24:22Then I'll water it.
24:24When I water it, it will come back to life.
24:26But its stem is not that beautiful.
24:29As opposed to a plant that I water every day,
24:33but little by little.
24:34The stem is beautiful.
24:36The flowers are beautiful.
24:37Like that.
24:38So, I learned that from nature.
24:41That you give little by little.
24:44Then sometimes, you don't give.
24:47You hold it.
24:48Then you give.
24:51That's applicable to life.
24:53Even in relationships.
24:55Even if you say romantic relationships.
24:57Even if you say relationships with your siblings.
25:00Yes, yes.
25:01Right?
25:01That's really applicable.
25:03Any relationship.
25:05It's really applicable.
25:06And I apply it to different people.
25:08Because different people,
25:09you deal with them differently.
25:11Because they're different.
25:13Some people are okay to be loved.
25:17Some people are not okay to be loved.
25:19So, you have to sway with them.
25:21You can't give them the same love that you give to everybody.
25:25You know, Miss Dimi,
25:26you shared a lot with me.
25:29Of course, from your journey.
25:30From what you went through recently.
25:35There is so much to learn about your story.
25:38And for me,
25:40like, as a family member who has gone through something
25:43like what you went through,
25:45and my mom,
25:47I cannot stress it enough.
25:48Please, please, please get yourself screened.
25:52Everything, you know.
25:54Don't miss out on that.
25:55Because it's important.
25:56It's important.
25:57To save you all the troubles.
26:01The heartaches.
26:02Right?
26:03Like, prevention is always, always better than cure.
26:07And even if there's already that,
26:11there's always a way out of it.
26:12Yeah, yeah.
26:13There's always a way.
26:15You're completely out of the woods now.
26:17I'm out.
26:18I'm out of the woods.
26:19I've been five years out of the woods.
26:21I was declared out of the woods three years ago.
26:26I'm now in my eighth year.
26:28In my eighth year.
26:30But then again, you know,
26:31I really have to take care of myself.
26:33And I have always been taking care of myself.
26:35You're more careful now.
26:38No, not careful.
26:39You're more vigilant now.
26:41More vigilant.
26:42And also, I learned to say no to a lot of things.
26:48Because that's my personality before was,
26:51okay, yes, yes, yes.
26:53I'll do this.
26:53I'll do, okay, I'll do that for you.
26:55Okay, I'll do this.
26:56Yes, yes, I'll do.
26:57Now, no more.
26:59I'm able to say no.
27:00This is all I can do.
27:02The others, you guys do it.
27:06Mmm, wow.
27:08Miss Timmy, thank you.
27:09Thank you very much.
27:10You know, I always end the podcast by turning the tables around.
27:14Yes.
27:14I will make you ask me any question.
27:16And I'll try to answer it.
27:20You know, it's probably my way of picking your brain.
27:27At this moment.
27:29Okay.
27:30All right.
27:31So the question is, the question is,
27:34what is, what is, if you were going to leave this life right now,
27:44what, what would you like to share to the people?
27:48What do you want to tell them?
27:50If you're leaving now, if you're leaving like now,
27:54what would you like to tell the people, share to the people?
27:59You know, there's always a, I wouldn't say a struggle.
28:03But there's always a one thing for me to share or to leave behind the legacy.
28:12That can help people.
28:15Because like what I said earlier, in the scheme of things,
28:24and there will be people who would be left behind.
28:27I mean, I'm talking about the younger generations.
28:31You know, this multi-generation that's way beneath us.
28:41And I want to be able to help.
28:44What do you want to tell them?
28:47You make them understand about what life is now.
28:53And I'm in showbiz.
28:55I want to teach them what showbiz is.
28:59And I'm sure that will help them in the future.
29:05Because they're going to look back at this and then probably,
29:08ah, this is what they were talking about.
29:10Ah, that's how their life was at that time.
29:12And so on and so forth.
29:14So, but you know, I don't know still how I'm going to do that.
29:17But I'm just doing whatever I'm doing right now.
29:20And I know at some point, I'll be able to help.
29:24Absolutely.
29:24Personally, I'm a firm believer of peace.
29:30Like, you know, the pandemic has taught me a lot.
29:34Definitely a lot.
29:35And one of them is valuing peace.
29:39Every time I end a really toxic relationship,
29:42before, I would always seek peace.
29:47Because peace, that's the biggest thing that you can share.
29:57That the biggest thing you can share is not love, but peace.
30:01Because when you share peace, everything else follows.
30:05Love, joy, all the good things, all the good stuff.
30:10And you have to start with peace.
30:13And I always say this.
30:14Like, when Jesus actually went back to his place,
30:22he left, he said, I leave you peace.
30:25My peace I give you.
30:26I did not say, I will give you love.
30:28And my love I'll give you.
30:29Or I will give you, you know, whatever.
30:32And you know, he said peace.
30:34Because it's the ultimate, non-ending thing that binds everything.
30:41Yes.
30:43And I believe.
30:45And I don't know how to leave that.
30:50And every single time, you know, as I grow older,
30:54I know I can feel that that's what I'm always looking for.
30:59And that's what I always want to give.
31:02And that's what I wanted to leave.
31:05I don't know what kind of legacy I'm going to make.
31:08But it has something to do with that.
31:10Beautiful.
31:12Beautiful.
31:14And your peace is really very attractive.
31:20It's so beautiful.
31:22Like, if I am going to describe it,
31:26it's a glow that's not hurting to the eye.
31:30Wow.
31:31And I love, in the hour long that we are talking,
31:36that we were talking, I just want to bask in it.
31:40Ang ganda nung naibibigay mong energy.
31:43I love it.
31:45And I accept it.
31:47And I'm open.
31:49And I want to receive it.
31:52Thank you for listening until the very end, mga updaters.
31:55Stay updated.
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