Deadpool Vs Wolverine Full Movie Cinematic 2024 Action Fantasy
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00:00I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm
00:00:13done doing it say that
00:00:30I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing
00:01:27it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after
00:01:34I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still
00:01:35living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the
00:01:36people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do
00:01:37at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is
00:01:38at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best
00:01:39there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that
00:01:40I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing
00:01:41it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm
00:01:42done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still
00:02:09living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the
00:02:38people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do
00:03:06at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there
00:03:07is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best
00:03:08there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm
00:03:09the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it
00:03:10say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm
00:03:11done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still
00:03:12living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least
00:03:13the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what
00:03:14I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there
00:03:15is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm
00:03:38the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it
00:03:39say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm
00:03:40done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still
00:03:41living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the
00:03:42people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do
00:03:43at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at
00:03:44least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at
00:03:45what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best
00:03:46there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm
00:03:47the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it
00:03:48say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm
00:03:49done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still
00:03:50living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the
00:03:51people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I
00:03:52do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there
00:03:53is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm
00:04:04the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it
00:04:10say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm
00:04:15done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the people still
00:04:21living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do at least the
00:04:27people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there is at what I do
00:04:31at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm the best there
00:04:36is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it say that I'm
00:04:42the best there is at what I do at least the people still living after I'm done doing it
00:04:48you
00:04:57hey little brother long time no see
00:05:06Logan be careful
00:05:08Caleb stay back
00:05:18I was always better at this part than you
00:05:44now where'd your old lady get to
00:06:03please Caleb stay with me you're okay
00:06:08no Logan she isn't
00:06:11striker
00:06:13I came to warn you
00:06:15you knew he was coming
00:06:17Victor's appetites were becoming too public
00:06:20we had to confine him
00:06:22he felt betrayed went AWOL
00:06:25said he's coming for all of us
00:06:27so you didn't come to warn me you came to save your own ass
00:06:30he killed Wade
00:06:32you were supposed to be next
00:06:34what's your plan captain
00:06:41I'm gonna find him and kill him
00:06:44you already tried
00:06:46you can't beat him Logan
00:06:48you know you can't
00:06:50but there is another option
00:06:53I can give you the tools to defeat him
00:06:56I can promise you two things
00:07:00you will suffer more pain than any other man could endure
00:07:05your bones will be coated in adamantium
00:07:09when we're done you'll be able to withstand anything
00:07:13even creed
00:07:15where did you find him
00:07:17my response is more important to me than his life
00:07:20don't even think about it
00:07:21what the hell
00:07:23stand down captain
00:07:24my brother my responsibility
00:07:27and my command
00:07:30the operation was a success but he can't be trusted
00:07:34we have his DNA for weapon 11
00:07:37terminate him
00:07:57you even blink and you're dead
00:08:19your friends use too much cologne
00:08:22activating cloak now
00:08:27are you there Logan
00:08:28can you hear me
00:08:31who the hell are you
00:08:33I'm Dr. Carol Frost and I work for Dr. Cornelius
00:08:37I think I can help you
00:08:39what's happening to me
00:08:41as an insurance policy against you escaping
00:08:44striker had you injected with a bioenzyme
00:08:47it just activated and destroyed your regeneration and feral senses
00:08:51I can repair the damage but you must meet me in my lab north of here
00:08:56why should I trust you
00:08:58because if you don't you'll die
00:09:02oh so you're my guardian angel huh
00:09:05I simply want to help
00:09:07wait you don't understand
00:09:09I want to stop the atrocities they're committing here
00:09:12and I'm starting with you
00:09:16what's that do
00:09:18we'll deactivate the bioenzyme
00:09:21all right do it
00:09:27you're safe now if you go to the biomechanics lab I'll repair your healing ability
00:09:35hey doc this turns out to be a trap
00:09:39I will hunt you down
00:09:41then I have nothing to worry about
00:09:44I brought your things
00:09:47there's not much time place your arms in that machine
00:09:51restraints engaged
00:09:53hey
00:09:54relax this will reactivate your healing abilities
00:09:57open up open the door
00:09:59oh no they're here already
00:10:01I have to go but I'll meet you at the neurochemistry lab
00:10:04good luck Logan
00:10:12phase one complete
00:10:17phase two complete
00:10:21phase three complete process terminated
00:10:36we killed the bastard
00:10:38I can't believe it he's dead
00:10:40yeah we did it target is down
00:10:42command weapon X is dead I repeat weapon X is dead
00:10:47hey somebody take my picture
00:10:52you should send me a copy
00:10:54shit he's alive
00:10:56everyone weapon copy let's go
00:10:58Logan we have to hurry soldiers are on their way
00:11:01sit here this machine will repair your hypersenses
00:11:05oh great
00:11:09I have to leave but the procedure will only take a few minutes
00:11:12when it's done you can exit through that door
00:11:16thanks for helping me doc
00:11:18Logan there's a little girl locked up in this sector who needs help too
00:11:23take her with you
00:11:24come on I don't have time to play babysitter
00:11:27please Logan she's scheduled for termination
00:11:33you have to help her
00:11:35please Logan she needs you
00:11:53who are you
00:11:55I'm Logan who are you
00:11:57Anna
00:11:59you must be the one Dr. Frost was talking about
00:12:01Dr. Carol said she'd come for me
00:12:04let me see what I can do kid
00:12:06oh Mr. Logan
00:12:09Anna I need you to close your eyes and don't open them until I say so all right
00:12:13okay Mr. Logan
00:12:19I think it's time you punks face someone your own size
00:12:27I did what you said Mr. Logan I kept my eyes closed and never looked up
00:12:33good job kid I'm proud of you now why don't we get you out of here huh
00:12:37I can help I saw which way to go and they brought me in
00:12:40hey what the
00:12:43what the did you just teleport us
00:12:46I moved us if that's what you mean
00:12:49think you could move us through that door
00:12:52not right now moving us both makes me really tired
00:12:57no problem just stay here while I go to that control room and open the door
00:13:01I can get there by myself really quick
00:13:04no wait I can
00:13:09look out
00:13:14we have the girl Colonel Stryker
00:13:24come on please kid wake up can you hear me
00:13:27what's going on
00:13:29it's time to go okay I'll try
00:13:32no wait
00:13:34I'm sorry Mr. Logan moving both of us is really hard
00:13:39I need to rest don't worry about it kid
00:13:45Anna you've got to escape move yourself as far away from this place as you can you got it
00:13:49I can't leave without you
00:13:52open fire
00:13:56you gotta go Anna go
00:13:59take care of yourself kid
00:14:01bye Mr. Logan
00:14:56deploying Wendigo prototype
00:15:11we've been spotted
00:15:32weapons up open fire
00:15:34negative your area is in lockdown
00:15:37dammit you can't leave us here to die
00:15:39move it let's go
00:15:41get down
00:16:01oh shit
00:16:25go go go
00:16:38HQ this is Condor 13 moving in to confirm the kill
00:16:44this guy just walked in
00:16:48HQ he's alive
00:18:02good people tend to die around you you should stick with the bad or more your speed
00:18:08Africa proved otherwise
00:18:10the jungle you still crying in your beer over what we did there
00:18:16wasn't something I'm likely to ever forget
00:18:19you actually think you're the good guy here
00:18:22do me a favor
00:18:24take a message to your boss
00:18:33what's your status
00:18:37I'll mail you back pieces of him
00:18:39you ran on me you tried to kill me
00:18:42where's Victor
00:18:44look come back to base and I'll tell you everything
00:18:47we'll take Victor down together wrong answer
00:18:51I'm going after Victor Creed
00:18:53Logan if you go down this road you're not going to like what you find
00:18:57after I kill Victor I'm coming for you
00:19:01he wanted the animal curl
00:19:03oh you got it
00:19:10now to find Creed I need the help of an old friend who knows all about disappearing
00:19:16John race
00:19:22race race
00:19:25John if you're here you left your front door
00:19:29open
00:19:33you have one new message
00:19:37John it's Raven you gotta be kidding me
00:19:40damn it John where the hell are you I think I have a line on Creed
00:19:45how could you John you're dead
00:19:52at least you were supposed to be back then
00:19:58striker is your operative dead
00:20:00no one could have survived that explosion
00:20:03Logan has a way of surviving anything agent Darkholm
00:20:06emitter one is down
00:20:08all right Logan double back to the temple courtyard to await further instructions
00:20:13emitter two is down
00:20:15excellent
00:20:16Wraith I'm already scanning
00:20:18it's strong in this town but I still can't get a fix
00:20:21Nord move on to third emitter
00:20:25Nord
00:20:27Nord sitrep
00:20:31sir I hate to say this but I lost Raven Darkholm's signal too
00:20:35team we have a situation
00:20:38Logan you're closest to Nord's last known position go find him
00:20:42yes sir
00:20:43and Logan if you see Raven Darkholm
00:20:47consider her compromised
00:20:52John it's Raven
00:20:54damn it John where the hell are you I think I have a line on Creed
00:20:58that job I got with Kelly is good for some things
00:21:01he's doing oversight on a black budget program
00:21:04wide awake
00:21:06what's this have to do with Creed
00:21:08well guess who took a job with them
00:21:10I don't know what kind of favor you owe that's worth messing with a rabies case like Creed
00:21:15but if you want to find him wide awake is the best place to start
00:21:18the main facility is located in the southwest
00:21:29oh my what how
00:21:33excuse me do you have level 5 clearance
00:21:36yes of course but
00:21:41scan verified
00:21:46welcome Dr. Lathrop
00:21:48thanks doc
00:22:05Raven Darkholm
00:22:07Logan
00:22:08you smell pretty good for a corpse
00:22:11after what happened in Africa being dead was the best way of staying alive
00:22:19what exactly did happen darling
00:22:23team we have a situation
00:22:26Logan you're closest to Nord's last known position go find him
00:22:30yes sir
00:22:31and Logan if you see Raven Darkholm
00:22:35consider her compromised
00:22:46you'd have an easier time sneaking up on me darling if I didn't already know your scent
00:22:54like I was saying you're supposed to be dead
00:22:58I'm a lot of things
00:23:01things that need to remain secret
00:23:03you're a mutant
00:23:06I should have known
00:23:08what are you doing here Logan
00:23:10I heard your phone message to Wraith
00:23:12I came here looking for Victor Creed
00:23:14so this is all your fault
00:23:16Wraith came here looking for Creed too
00:23:19he got caught
00:23:20yeah and now you're here looking for Wraith
00:23:23small world but why
00:23:27here's a comm unit so we can keep in contact
00:23:30we'll cover more ground if we split up
00:23:32you gonna answer my question
00:23:34help me find Wraith and I'll tell you everything you want to know
00:23:40find a way to open those doors while I see if I can go hack into their mainframe
00:23:45all right I'll help you but then I'm going after Creed
00:23:49I wouldn't have it any other way
00:24:00tell me mutant
00:24:02don't let a little run through your entire body
00:24:05now why don't you come down here and find out
00:24:08all mutants seem to labor under the impression that they're special
00:24:12better than humans
00:24:14homo superior
00:24:16bah I know the truth
00:24:18you're freaks of nature
00:24:20aberrations
00:24:21you're a cancer that must be eradicated before you kill off humanity
00:24:25Bob you picked a real bad day to give me this speech
00:24:29are you threatening me mutant
00:24:32security will be here soon enough
00:24:34but in the meantime let me show you how I intend on ridding the earth of your kind
00:24:51get back freak
00:24:54you're nothing more than an animal that should be terminated
00:24:57then what are you waiting for shoot me
00:25:12welcome Dr. Trask access granted
00:25:16the door's unlocked
00:25:22darling what am I looking at
00:25:25let me patch into security cameras and find out
00:25:29it's hard to tell
00:25:31let me check out the database
00:25:34oh my god
00:25:36they did it
00:25:37they built it
00:25:39what did they build
00:25:41a weapon designed to detect and terminate mutants
00:25:47this is the mark 1 sentinel
00:25:51it's big I'll give them that
00:25:57we're getting close
00:25:59Wraith should be up ahead beyond that nearby door
00:26:02how do I know I can trust you darling
00:26:05you obviously don't remember Africa too well
00:26:12sir I found Nord
00:26:14and Darkholm
00:26:15yep found her too
00:26:17and she's got a gun to your boy's head
00:26:19stand down Colonel
00:26:21we don't have time for this
00:26:22eliminate her Logan
00:26:24Logan do you realize Stryker's asking you to commit a war crime
00:26:27Ms. Darkholm is no longer entitled to the protection of the United States government
00:26:31eliminate her
00:26:33damn it Logan do you even know what your mission is here
00:26:36she's interfering with a mission critical aspect of this operation
00:26:39yeah I'm flagging the play on wholesale murder
00:26:42take her out Captain
00:26:44that's an order
00:26:47sir she's down
00:26:49I'm disappointed Logan
00:26:51Wraith tie her up
00:26:53Logan there's one more emitter to take down
00:26:55think you can handle that
00:26:57sir yes sir
00:27:09the last emitter's down
00:27:11villain's popped up straight on my scanner
00:27:13sending the coordinate
00:27:15so when are you going to tell me why you're still breathing
00:27:18you know the deal Logan
00:27:20first we find Wraith
00:27:22then I'll tell you everything
00:27:24let's get out of these doors
00:27:46come on
00:27:59oh great
00:28:04I'll take care of this one
00:28:11come on I would have figured a way in
00:28:15thanks
00:28:31you always knew how to make an entrance
00:28:34thanks
00:28:36I was talking to her
00:28:46she's rescuing you
00:28:48you know she's still alive
00:28:50who do I have the gut to get some explanations here
00:28:53no one
00:28:55I promised you answers and I make good on my promises
00:29:02I'm guessing you remember Africa
00:29:04and the situation we find ourselves in with Raven here
00:29:08Logan move out of the way
00:29:10I'm going to get you out of here
00:29:12is Raven here
00:29:14Logan move on those coordinates
00:29:16Wraith dispatch Ms. Darkholm with prejudice
00:29:19sir
00:29:21we can't risk the mission
00:29:23take her out
00:29:27lieutenant
00:29:33double tap to the chest sir
00:29:35subject is dead
00:29:43I've never had a problem killing the enemy
00:29:47but I draw the line at murder
00:29:50there's nothing sexier than a man with a conscience
00:29:53Africa was the beginning of the end
00:29:55I quit a couple months later
00:29:57I couldn't take rounding up mutants
00:29:59rounding them up why
00:30:01didn't stay around long enough to find out
00:30:04Creed was the only one on the team that didn't seem to mind
00:30:07hell he enjoyed it
00:30:09that bastard
00:30:10where were the mutants sent
00:30:12Alkali Lake
00:30:13this place and somewhere called the island
00:30:16all right that must be where I'll find Creed
00:30:19Nord mentioned something about an island
00:30:21does that mean anything to you
00:30:23nope but maybe Dukes knows
00:30:25he and Nord used to be tight
00:30:27then what are we waiting for
00:30:28let's go pay Dukes a visit
00:30:30if we can get to the roof
00:30:32we can take a chopper off this rock
00:30:34I could teleport Raven and me up top
00:30:36but you're gonna have to get there on your own Logan
00:30:39don't sweat it
00:30:41Logan you and Wraith can go after Creed
00:30:43but you have to tell me where Alkali Lake is
00:30:46I want to pay that mutant prison a visit
00:30:48will do
00:30:50you be careful Miss Darkholme
00:30:52that's my son you're carrying in there
00:30:55see you up top
00:30:57what you thinking of name Kurt
00:31:09you
00:31:28Wraith you there
00:31:30I copy Logan
00:31:31waiting for you with the chopper ready to go
00:31:33something very big and very pissed is right on my tail
00:31:36you and Raven have to leave now
00:31:38what about you
00:31:39I'll figure something out
00:31:41now get the hell out of here
00:31:43roger that
00:31:44good luck buddy
00:31:45thanks
00:31:46I'm gonna need it
00:32:38you
00:33:08you
00:33:38you
00:34:08you
00:34:39should have had him crash closer to town
00:34:46okay Logan
00:34:47I found Dukes for you
00:34:49you're never gonna believe what Dukes hangs out these days
00:34:52or how big he's gotten
00:34:59hey Dukes
00:35:01wow
00:35:02it's been a long time
00:35:04about 10 or 12 hundred pounds ago
00:35:07it is time to give the pork rinds a rest
00:35:17so you've upgraded since Africa
00:35:20big deal
00:35:21speaking of big
00:35:22you've put on a little weight since Africa
00:35:27Bob I need to know where Strikers Island is
00:35:30and you're gonna tell me
00:35:31did you call me blob
00:35:37so Bob tell me
00:35:39what's this island
00:35:41it's where Striker takes mutants after Victor's caught them
00:35:45it's like a supermax prison for the most powerful mutants
00:35:48rumor is Striker does experiments on them there
00:35:52I heard he was taking their powers
00:35:54trying to combine them somehow
00:35:56trying to combine them
00:35:58they killed her so I'd let them put adamantium in me
00:36:02they killed her for a goddamn experiment
00:36:05now where is it
00:36:07don't know
00:36:08Striker kept it secret
00:36:10but I heard a prisoner named Remy Lebeau escaped
00:36:13guards called him Gambit
00:36:14because he kept taking their money in poker
00:36:17now he's doing the same to tourists in New Orleans
00:36:21but he's not gonna tell you a thing
00:36:24he's gonna talk all right
00:36:31nice looking place
00:36:32bet you'll take care of that in a hurry
00:36:34what I get in fights with everybody
00:36:36let me put it this way
00:36:37I'll go cover the back in case he rapids
00:36:43you Remy Lebeau
00:36:46I owe you money
00:36:48no
00:36:49then Remy Lebeau I am
00:36:51so what brings you to our fair city sir
00:36:54Victor Creed
00:36:55he's the man I'm gonna kill
00:36:57well too bad for Mr. Creed then hey
00:37:00works with a man named Striker on his island
00:37:04I need to know where it is
00:37:06mighty nice dog tags you got on
00:37:08what
00:37:10look a lot like the ones the men who took me wore
00:37:13wait wait I'm not
00:37:14two years I rotted in that hell hole
00:37:17I ain't going back
00:37:18are you crazy
00:37:23where'd you go
00:37:27you stuck real good mon frere
00:37:31here
00:37:32let me give you a reason to get unstuck
00:37:38au revoir
00:38:00au revoir
00:38:24ah you again
00:38:26mon cher
00:38:27show our friend here a good time
00:38:29au revoir
00:38:31all right darling
00:38:33let's do this
00:38:37won't give up yet huh mon frere
00:38:39I'm just getting started
00:38:51whoa
00:39:00why'd you save me
00:39:02you're no good to me dad
00:39:04I need info on the island
00:39:06why
00:39:07cuz I'm looking to find Creed and Striker and end them
00:39:11lot of men tried that and a lot of men died
00:39:14well I got an edge
00:39:17that you do mon frere
00:39:19you really gonna kill them
00:39:21they must have wronged you pretty bad
00:39:24it's a long story
00:39:26good
00:39:27it's a long trip to the island
00:39:29you can tell me on the way
00:39:35Africa wasn't supposed to be like this
00:39:38it wasn't supposed to be the last mission
00:39:43okay team we need to get that village
00:39:45Wraith scan shows three possible paths
00:39:49copy that
00:39:50Dukes you got path B
00:39:52I'm reading lots of bio scans
00:39:54expect resistance
00:39:56bio scans huh
00:39:58well bring it on
00:39:59I'm ready for whatever they've got
00:40:02Creed and Wilson you got path A
00:40:04it's mostly just jungle
00:40:06it's hunting season
00:40:08Logan the village is just north of your position
00:40:11secure the area and find a way into the village
00:40:14roger that
00:40:15Logan out
00:40:16move fast men
00:40:17we need to coordinate the attack on the village
00:40:19I need everyone in position
00:40:21Striker out
00:40:23sir this is Logan
00:40:25area secure
00:40:26heading to the village now
00:40:27good job
00:40:28rendezvous with the team outside the village ASAP
00:40:31roger that
00:40:32Logan out
00:40:44five hostiles visible from this side
00:40:46easy
00:40:47low level mercs
00:40:48no training
00:40:49is Creed in position
00:40:51you ready Victor
00:40:52oh yeah
00:40:53it's hunting season
00:40:55don't be going easy Victor get me
00:40:57Wraith shut him down
00:41:21rawr
00:41:51they're tin miners boss
00:42:03they bring in a lot of rock
00:42:06this rock isn't tin
00:42:08ask him where this rock came from
00:42:10he says that rock is special
00:42:12he says it came from the sky
00:42:14he's telling the truth
00:42:15shut it Logan
00:42:16you don't speak the language
00:42:17no but I can smell a lie
00:42:19it's a media fragment
00:42:21tell him that rock is more important to me than his life
00:42:28can't say I didn't try to be nice
00:42:33don't even think about it
00:42:34what the hell are you doing
00:42:37do not be a part of this
00:42:38I didn't sign up for this
00:42:40yes you did
00:42:48back off Wade
00:42:50my brother
00:42:51my responsibility
00:42:53and my command
00:43:15before I gut you I want to know why
00:43:17Logan welcome back to the war
00:43:20we needed your powers for the pool
00:43:22the mutant killer
00:43:24the dead pool
00:43:25it was surprising how easy you were to trick
00:43:29who are you
00:43:31Raven
00:43:32she's real old friend
00:43:34it's her
00:43:35tell him about the day you died
00:43:37they gave me a syringe full of hydrochlorothiazide
00:43:41reduces the heartbeat to almost zero
00:43:44breathing virtually stops
00:43:46you flatline for six minutes
00:43:48Kayla's a credit to your race Logan
00:43:51she's got the mutant gift of tele-hypnosis
00:43:54the ability to influence people through physical contact
00:43:57it was never real
00:43:59it was real for me
00:44:01I don't want to terminate you Logan
00:44:04there is another option
00:44:06you can live knowing the woman you love didn't care about you
00:44:09or
00:44:10or what
00:44:12we erase your memory
00:44:14all of it
00:44:16that story you told me
00:44:18that the guy who goes to get flowers for the moon
00:44:21I had it backwards
00:44:23I thought you were the moon and I was your wolverine
00:44:26but you're the trickster aren't you
00:44:28and I'm just the fool that got played
00:44:30no Logan
00:44:32let's do this
00:44:34every memory you ever had will evaporate
00:44:37like it never happened
00:44:39good
00:44:45ahhhh
00:44:51what if this doesn't work
00:44:54an adamantium bullet to the brain
00:44:56will erase every memory
00:44:59Colonel my sister
00:45:00please don't do this
00:45:02I've done everything you've asked
00:45:04you said you'd let her go
00:45:15I'm gonna end you
00:45:19come on
00:45:21I heal up just like you
00:45:23do you even know how to kill me
00:45:25I'm gonna cut your god damn head off to start
00:45:28see if that works
00:45:30you know why I piss you off so much
00:45:44because at heart
00:45:46I'm exactly what you are
00:45:48an animal
00:45:50go ahead
00:45:51finish it
00:45:54no Logan you're not an animal
00:45:56and I didn't trick you into loving me
00:45:58even when I wasn't near you
00:46:00you loved me
00:46:03you're alive because of her
00:46:10I'm sorry
00:46:11striker is holding my sister prisoner
00:46:13he was going to kill her if I didn't do as he said
00:46:21wait
00:46:22is that you
00:46:24Kayla go save your sister
00:46:26I'll take care of this
00:46:30you used to be more chatty than this
00:46:33I guess you're not the merc with a mouth anymore
00:46:43all right
00:46:44if that's how you want to play it
00:46:48I'm sorry it has to end like this
00:47:01I guess I'm taking that ability from wraith
00:47:21so you're gonna keep me here until the tower collapses and kills us both
00:47:25the thought occurred to me
00:47:27why didn't you kill me Jimmy
00:47:28the real reason
00:47:30as much as I hate to admit it we're brothers
00:47:33yeah we are
00:47:35and while you try to hide it
00:47:37we're both animals
00:47:39I am nothing like you
00:47:41get used to it
00:47:43I've got to find Kayla
00:47:44you know what pal
00:47:46I'm always gonna be around to remind you exactly what you are
00:48:11ah
00:48:22Logan
00:48:25how about we talk about this at home
00:48:30men like us don't get to go home
00:48:35maybe you should turn that gun on yourself
00:48:50just leave
00:48:53head south
00:48:56walk till your feet bleed
00:49:11you always wanted to forget what you did
00:49:14but if you do ever remember me
00:49:18remember
00:49:49you
00:50:02I've always been Wolverine
00:50:04and I've always been alone
00:50:08I'll probably be alone till the day I die
00:50:14but that day ain't here yet
00:50:30I walked a hard road since way back then
00:50:33sometimes I wish I could forget all the years since too
00:50:37so many dead
00:50:39so much lost
00:50:41and I still have work to do
00:50:50I suppose I should thank you
00:50:53when you destroyed my sentinel
00:50:55you forced me to rethink my assumptions about robotics
00:50:59and prosthetics
00:51:01the hell you talking about bub
00:51:02I'd heard you took an adamantium round through your thick skull
00:51:06guess you don't remember
00:51:08pity
00:51:10I plan on doing some very bad things to you
00:51:13so much better if you remembered why
00:51:22guards
00:51:48you sure as hell didn't work out like we planned
00:51:50that doesn't mean giving up
00:51:52this world may be broken
00:51:55I've got just the tools to fix it
00:52:02any intel on our museum thief?
00:52:04let me guess
00:52:05Captain Mayo in the archives with a candlestick
00:52:11Hydra Mystic in the warehouse
00:52:15no candles
00:52:18whatever Hydra's looking for
00:52:20it seems they have yet to find it
00:52:23just don't let them find you
00:52:39you the new guy?
00:52:41sorry, the new fully customizable heroically
00:52:44upgradeable monster masher
00:52:46scracking anti-hero, merc, very occasional hero
00:52:49whatever, I'm adaptable
00:52:51spin me off, it's a big franchise
00:52:55stop talking
00:52:57are you here for the statue too?
00:52:59what statue?
00:53:00the one my very mysterious and very scary client
00:53:04from somewhere in very eastern Europe
00:53:06wants me to steal back from the guy who stole it from him
00:53:10it's the circle of crime
00:53:12that one?
00:53:14Jimmy my frickin' Chagas
00:53:18yeah, that one
00:53:21hands up, pants down ladies and gents
00:53:24this is a robbery
00:53:26I'm sorry, have we met?
00:53:28aren't you Sloth?
00:53:31no no, Sylvia
00:53:32Cindy?
00:53:34please kill him
00:53:36Sin, that's it, of course, Sin
00:53:38granddaughter of Redhead
00:53:40I mean Skull, I mean Skell, whatever
00:53:42now
00:53:52step away from the artifact
00:53:54click
00:53:55did you just say click?
00:53:57yes I did, for emphasis
00:53:59now hand over the statue
00:54:01fool, do you know what
00:54:03monologue free zone here
00:54:05it's in my contract, sorry
00:54:07now respect the click and hand over the
00:54:10boom
00:54:12big click energy
00:54:14I like it
00:54:15wanna help me kill some Nazis?
00:54:17Hydra aren't Nazis
00:54:19ah, potato frittata
00:54:23what they have outlives their usefulness to me
00:54:40see, I had your back
00:54:42right, where is Sin, and the statue?
00:54:50hmm, the level designer says she went that way
00:55:00why betray her own people?
00:55:02maybe she appreciates a plot twist?
00:55:10you first
00:55:32is this a mole man thing?
00:55:34please let this be a mole man thing
00:55:40because you know I'm the biggest mole man fan
00:55:46uh oh
00:55:49ah
00:56:07without that statue
00:56:09not even a sparkly hole can cheer me up
00:56:14is this about your very scary client again?
00:56:17when he finds out how royally I botched this mission
00:56:20or worse, when he finds me
00:56:22I'll be
00:56:25deader pool
00:56:27there it is, you go new guy
00:56:29and by that I still obviously mean the new fully customizable
00:56:33come back with us to the Abbey
00:56:35the magical wards will protect you
00:56:37you can hide there
00:56:39help us track down Sin
00:56:41fight off the vampire infestation
00:56:44if you insist
00:56:45look ma, I'm gonna be DLC
00:56:53ooh, when are we gonna slay some vamps?
00:56:55we aren't going anywhere
00:56:57this is a solo job
00:56:59ugh, you know how boring solo jobbing by yourself is?
00:57:03come on!
00:57:05no way, you're too distracting
00:57:07I need to be focused out there
00:57:09this could be a great bonding experience for us
00:57:12we could touch steaks
00:57:15Blade, you should bring Deadpool
00:57:17ha, see?
00:57:19let me go put on my vampire hunting undies
00:57:25thanks a lot, Hunter
00:57:27I had to learn to work with you
00:57:29so should he
00:57:31but you are Deadpool
00:57:42I've got something
00:57:45no, don't tell me
00:57:47you'd a...
00:57:49dead cat wrapped in cabbage?
00:57:55what?
00:57:57what is that?
00:57:59that is a hemolisk
00:58:02the face not even a shemolisk could love
00:58:05if that is a face
00:58:07because I'm a shemolisk
00:58:10that is a face
00:58:12because maybe that's... it's...
00:58:20okay
00:58:22definitely not the face
00:58:24it's a vampire egg sac
00:58:26which means now we're on the lookout for...
00:58:29vampire bacon sac?
00:58:31huh? get it?
00:58:33what do we have? a full infestation?
00:58:35if we're lucky
00:58:36then I suggest you eliminate the threat
00:58:39on it
00:58:41or we pop that sucker like a giant zit
00:58:53yeah, no, your idea is great too
00:59:02easy enough
00:59:03all good
00:59:04the healing factor will fix me up
00:59:06you do know I have a healing factor, right?
00:59:09well done, you two
00:59:11what the?
00:59:13I'll come with
00:59:14or should I just stay?
00:59:16right
00:59:17okay, good talk
00:59:37what the?
00:59:48something's wrong
00:59:50something's... changed
00:59:53no, don't tell me, don't tell me
00:59:55I'm gonna go with...
00:59:57new benches?
01:00:01vampires attacking civilians in plain sight?
01:00:04that's not vampire protocol
01:00:06okay?
01:00:09yeah, no, it's really not
01:00:13do you think anyone would notice if I just left you here?
01:00:17they'll know
01:00:21okay, okay, you want answers?
01:00:23I'll call my client
01:00:25not here, back home
01:00:27where we're safe from client bots
01:00:30home?
01:00:31you mean my home?
01:00:33the abbey
01:00:34which is absolutely 100% not your home
01:00:38make the call
01:00:40look, it's late in Latveria now
01:00:42there's that whole time zone thing
01:00:45and my client is a physician
01:00:47you know, working those long physician hours
01:00:50a what?
01:00:51sweetest guy, but he's a real bear when he's grumpy
01:00:59these vampires are getting out of control
01:01:02and it's all Deadpool's fault
01:01:04blah blah, judgey judge
01:01:06don't be so harsh on him, Sarah
01:01:08he's super brave and super awesome and super handsome
01:01:13thou saveth my behind from foul beasts
01:01:16thou shalt henceforth have my undying devotion
01:01:20aw shucks, really tickles the cockles of my heart
01:01:25we won't judge you
01:01:27I don't even care that you're...
01:01:29working for Dr. Doom?
01:01:32on my honor, in accordance with the mercenary code
01:01:35I can neither confirm nor deny the identity of my client
01:01:39you, honor
01:01:41at least tell us what this unidentified physician client hired you to find
01:01:47on my honor, in keeping with...
01:01:50no wait, I can answer that one
01:01:52a little something called the magma...
01:01:55mana...
01:01:56magna karygo
01:01:57that's it
01:01:58you mean the vampire holy grail
01:02:00is it really that bad?
01:02:01the ancient relic my blood-sucking cousins believe will cure them of every weakness
01:02:06sunlight, silver, garlic breath
01:02:09finding it wouldn't be melodramatic
01:02:11it would be cataclysmic
01:02:13unless you happen to be a vampire
01:02:15and? have you found it?
01:02:17this close
01:02:19tracked into some backwards country full of mud, goats and potatoes
01:02:23transia, like that's a thing
01:02:26transia
01:02:28why does it always have to be transia?
01:02:30mud, goats
01:02:32the abbey is from transia
01:02:34so is one of the midnight signs
01:02:36love transia, love it
01:02:39what's better than mud wrestling?
01:02:41except goat wrestling, huh?
01:02:43and a huge fan of tater tots
01:02:45stop talking, we have a relic to hunt
01:02:47and I have the coordinates
01:02:50straight from my client's mouth
01:02:52if he has one behind all that...
01:02:54duh, never mind
01:03:01music
01:03:12an old abandoned castle
01:03:14if that doesn't scream mambo cerebro
01:03:17I don't know what does
01:03:19first rule of relic hunting
01:03:22an old abandoned castle
01:03:24is almost never abandoned
01:03:28we have hydra vampires up ahead
01:03:33acknowledged
01:03:35you think the vampires joined hydra
01:03:38or was it the other way around?
01:03:40ooh, which reminds me
01:03:42dear hydra bob
01:03:44are you a vampire?
01:03:46love deadpool
01:03:48proceed with caution
01:03:50no time to dilly dally
01:03:52of course
01:03:54well guess what everybody
01:03:56ahh
01:04:00I'm okay
01:04:02music
01:04:27music
01:04:38welcome to my family home
01:04:41destroyed by your allies
01:04:44as they tried in vain
01:04:46to destroy my grandfather
01:04:48and that would be red skull, I gather?
01:04:51from the, you know
01:04:53of the, uh
01:04:55skull behind you
01:05:00on our left, careful
01:05:02and you be careful
01:05:04please, it's been a rough couple years
01:05:06and I love you for who you are
01:05:09a great man, my grandfather
01:05:11a brilliant man
01:05:13I've worshipped him once
01:05:15just once?
01:05:18must not have been that great
01:05:20more to our right
01:05:22at last
01:05:24I have a new master
01:05:26a worthy one
01:05:28and when the ritual is complete
01:05:30and the magna core ego
01:05:32is awakened
01:05:34we shall
01:05:38rude
01:05:41oh, is that?
01:05:42my bad
01:05:43hold that thought
01:05:46oh, good
01:05:48hydra bob's not a vampire
01:05:50anything about the mango gazebo?
01:05:52enough blasphemy
01:05:54end them, now
01:06:02arrogant mortals
01:06:04the magna core ego is eternal
01:06:06its darkness
01:06:08shall spread across the land
01:06:10until the world is cloaked
01:06:12in endless night
01:06:14blah blah blah, I'm evil
01:06:16something something great domination
01:06:18blah blah, going to destroy you
01:06:20now, prepare yourself
01:06:22something something something
01:06:24ah, screw it
01:06:26you shall bear witness
01:06:28to the ascension of
01:06:30what?
01:06:42you monster
01:06:44that's a little on the nose, don't you think?
01:06:46cindy
01:06:58whoa
01:07:00cindy smog cannot
01:07:02be good for the whole
01:07:04LaRouge
01:07:06caretaker, are you tracking this?
01:07:08affirmative, hold on
01:07:10we're getting you out of there
01:07:13farewell, my friend
01:07:19yeah, okay, about that
01:07:21quick cue
01:07:23seeing as I just destroyed doc
01:07:25duh, my unidentified
01:07:27physician client's vampire with a y
01:07:29holy grail
01:07:31is it cool if I crash with you for a while?
01:07:33friend?
01:07:35I don't think
01:07:36a while?
01:07:37no
01:07:38not forever
01:07:39no
01:07:41no
01:07:45come then
01:07:48can I be in the sequel?
01:07:56do not fret
01:07:58the magna corrigo was not crucial
01:08:00to my ascension
01:08:02rise, my child
01:08:04we must prepare
01:08:06for the endless night
01:08:09yes, master
01:08:17deadpool, it's logan
01:08:19got your message
01:08:20and for the last time
01:08:22no, you cannot take our blackbird
01:08:24out for a joyride
01:08:26stop calling about it
01:08:28hey deadpool, it's domino
01:08:30so I got another contract for you
01:08:32if you're interested
01:08:33the coin is good, so just let me know
01:08:35oh, and regarding that
01:08:37other thing you texted me about
01:08:39I, I can't, I
01:08:41I mean it was just supposed to be that one time
01:08:43and I, anyway, just call me
01:08:45deadpool, it's peter della penna
01:08:47from highmoon studios
01:08:49you know, the guy you kept calling dickhead
01:08:51when you cornered me in the parking lot the other night
01:08:53anyway, looked over your proposal
01:08:55not gonna pretend I understand any of it
01:08:57but the answer is no
01:08:59we're gonna pass on your big game idea
01:09:01what?
01:09:03he said no?
01:09:05this is our chance to be in our own video game
01:09:07maybe we shouldn't have written the proposal
01:09:09in crayon
01:09:11relax
01:09:13you know he's gonna call back
01:09:15oh yeah, because of the
01:09:17deadpool, hey, it's peter
01:09:19you know, dickhead
01:09:21remember when I called you earlier
01:09:23and told you no?
01:09:25I'm such a joker, because I meant yes
01:09:27of course, the new proposal
01:09:29you sent over this morning went off with a big bang
01:09:31in the office today, genius
01:09:33just genius
01:09:35so, sum it up, congratulations
01:09:37let's make a video game
01:09:39see, once again, our explosive personality
01:09:41wins the day
01:09:43high five!
01:09:45no high fives, we're voices in our head
01:09:47I've got my top designers banging away on a script right now
01:09:49as soon as it's ready
01:09:51we'll send it right over
01:09:53script?
01:09:57shit, as I suspected
01:09:59words, everywhere
01:10:01lame
01:10:03we should read some of them
01:10:05fine, scene one
01:10:07dark and stormy night, Deadpool is contracted
01:10:09to kill media mogul Chance White
01:10:11who is blah blah blah diddy blah blah
01:10:13don't need that, edit that
01:10:15ah, crayons
01:10:17very classy
01:10:19why are we trying to kill what's-his-face?
01:10:21who cares, I'm making art here
01:10:23behold!
01:10:25hmm, not sure the player understands
01:10:27our thinking yet
01:10:29go with it
01:10:31we're about to change your fucking life
01:10:33bring the noise!
01:10:39time to go boom
01:10:49whew
01:10:51that's what happens when you mix C4
01:10:53with a bean burrito
01:10:55now be honest
01:10:57I'm not the only one with a little bit of shit
01:10:59in their pants right now, am I?
01:11:01keep it steady, dinkus
01:11:03geez, I can fly better than that
01:11:05hey, it gives me an idea
01:11:09no, wait
01:11:11hell yes!
01:11:13hey, we're flying!
01:11:15we're flying!
01:11:17dreams cannot fly
01:11:19well, it is good to have dreams
01:11:21dreams, yes
01:11:23delusions?
01:11:25ha ha ha
01:11:27yeah!
01:11:29you know what else is good to have?
01:11:31skills
01:11:33hmm
01:11:35how much C4 is this gonna take?
01:11:37it's no more than 20 ounces
01:11:39what? I hate the metric system
01:11:41how much in American?
01:11:43let's see, carry the seven
01:11:45dude, fuck math
01:11:47just use all of it
01:11:49oh yeah!
01:11:51that was awesome!
01:11:53told you, 20 ounces
01:11:55that was pretty sweet
01:11:57how's that for impenetrable asshole?
01:11:59are you okay?
01:12:05you're insane!
01:12:07not as insane as you think
01:12:19yeah!
01:12:21that was fun!
01:12:23yeah, it was okay
01:12:25well, it's not like we get a do-over on this one
01:12:27the hell we don't
01:12:31go!
01:12:33make it!
01:12:35make it!
01:12:37no no no no no no
01:12:39what the crap?
01:12:41what the crap?
01:12:43what the crap?
01:12:45what the crap?
01:12:47what the crap?
01:12:51now that's what I'm talking about
01:12:55Peter, my man!
01:12:57you see all that?
01:12:59buttload of awesomeness
01:13:01Deadpool, you idiot!
01:13:03do you know how much money all those explosions
01:13:05and tacky graphics just cost me?
01:13:07you can't just change whatever you want
01:13:09whenever you want
01:13:11yeah, that's great Peter, talk to my dick
01:13:13hey, where are you a-holes going with my contract?
01:13:15Peter!
01:13:17hey, I was just running around my game
01:13:19and all of a sudden I noticed that
01:13:21some shit was fucked up
01:13:23what's up with that?
01:13:25I warned you about the budget Deadpool
01:13:27you literally blew all the money
01:13:29budget? what the hell man?
01:13:31yeah, you do realize that all games have a
01:13:33Peter, sweetheart
01:13:35let me remind you
01:13:37that my website got 15 million hits
01:13:39the weekend we announced
01:13:41one million one
01:13:43one million two
01:13:45cough it up
01:13:55hey, Harklight!
01:13:57looking good, babe
01:13:59you been working out?
01:14:01you're pets
01:14:03I mean your breasts
01:14:05your chesties look unbelievable
01:14:07if you catch my drift
01:14:09I can help you get off that villain D-list
01:14:11kill this pansy
01:14:13okay, she-man, we'll talk about your D-list pecs later
01:14:15my turn
01:14:21think you're clever?
01:14:23think you're cool?
01:14:25you ain't the only one with power, little geek
01:14:31come on, baby
01:14:33we can still work this out
01:14:35you disgust me
01:14:41not again!
01:14:53hey, hot tits
01:14:55the pipe I was offering gives way more pleasure
01:14:59oh, come on
01:15:01oh, come on, guys
01:15:03vertigo?
01:15:05could we seriously not afford better bad guys?
01:15:07ooh, vertigo
01:15:09I'm gonna get dizzy
01:15:13vertigo, not now
01:15:15got a headache, babe
01:15:21you officially have the lamest power
01:15:29I've got you
01:15:31right where I want you
01:15:37what the-
01:15:39oh, yeah
01:15:41shh
01:15:43yes, sinister
01:15:45all my satellites are in place
01:15:47ready for your broadcasts
01:15:49excellent
01:15:51you are no longer any use to me, filthy
01:15:53what, what, what
01:15:57shit, there goes our contract money
01:15:59wait, wait, wait
01:16:01is that how the script goes?
01:16:03time to have a little chat with sinister
01:16:05time to have a little chat with sinister
01:16:07hey there, captain douche
01:16:09you know, I don't appreciate you
01:16:11killing my target before I could
01:16:13now I need to collect
01:16:15from your sorry ass
01:16:17should I be
01:16:19imprisoned?
01:16:21what the hell?
01:16:23why is this happening?
01:16:29come, blockbuster
01:16:31Genosha awaits
01:16:36Psylocke?
01:16:38Domino
01:16:40boner engaged
01:16:42what are you ex-babes doing here?
01:16:44we'd probably know if we'd read the original script
01:16:47Deadpool, you need to listen to me
01:16:50Mr. Sinister has taken over Chance White's satellite
01:16:53hard to believe we used to date her
01:16:55why'd he dump her? she's hot
01:16:57not as hot as Psylocke, though
01:16:59were you even paying attention?
01:17:01Wolverine? Rogue?
01:17:03hey, you're here too?
01:17:05try reading the script
01:17:07like the girl said, we gotta go to Genosha
01:17:09if we're gonna stop Mr. Sinister from
01:17:11wait, Genosha the island?
01:17:13hey, we'll have to fly there
01:17:14are we taking the Blackbird?
01:17:15oh, I always wanted to fly the Blackbird
01:17:17no goddamn way
01:17:21Deadpool, quit fooling around
01:17:23yippee!
01:17:25take care of all the X-Men
01:17:27Deadpool, look out!
01:17:34Blackbird
01:17:41see? montage!
01:17:43works every time!
01:17:45we crashed
01:17:47yeah, but we crashed on Genosha
01:17:59cable?
01:18:00hey, man out of time
01:18:02what are you doing here?
01:18:04we haven't seen him since our run in the comics together
01:18:06oh, I love reunions
01:18:08Wade, I need you to listen closely
01:18:10I've time-traveled from the future
01:18:12to bring you a dire warning about
01:18:14oh god, here he goes again
01:18:16he's not here ten seconds before he starts boring us
01:18:18with his dire warning from the future crap
01:18:20Sinister has knocked out the X-Men
01:18:23by broadcasting
01:18:24we may want to pay attention
01:18:26this could explain a critical plot point
01:18:28the survival of Earth entirely depends on
01:18:31yippee!
01:18:35which all hinges on you, Wade
01:18:38now here's the critical part
01:18:40it's so boring
01:18:44what is that noise?
01:18:46where does that especially come from?
01:18:48doesn't make any sense
01:18:49make it stop!
01:18:51damn it, Wade!
01:18:57oh, man, did that hurt
01:18:59So, we give Cable the slip?
01:19:01Looks like he left a note.
01:19:03What does it say?
01:19:05Idiot. Meet me at the northern end of the city.
01:19:08What? Who the hell is Cable to give us orders in our game?
01:19:12P.S. If you don't arrive within one hour, you'll miss the incredibly large-breasted naked woman who claims to be your biggest fan.
01:19:21Oh, don't fall for that one again.
01:19:23B-b-but what if Cable memes it this time?
01:19:25We can't take that chance.
01:19:27Large-breasted naked fan lady, we're on our way!
01:19:32Lo, behold!
01:19:35Number one fangirl is hot!
01:19:49I'd ask what that was about, but I don't want to know.
01:19:53Time is short. We need to get you to Magneto's old citadel across the island.
01:19:57Stupid fantasy!
01:19:59Don't worry. We'll land a real girl someday.
01:20:02This is our game, after all.
01:20:04Wade! Are you listening?
01:20:06Don't even bother with that security tower.
01:20:08Sinister is up there broadcasting his-
01:20:10Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Mr. Sinister is up there?
01:20:13As in the S-hole who killed that other A-hole who was my contract?
01:20:17One side, Summers. I got me some business to finish.
01:20:21Dammit, Wade! Stop! We don't have time to mess with the security towers.
01:20:25What do we do with this?
01:20:27Well, we should open it.
01:20:33We could win a billion dollars!
01:20:36Spin it to win it!
01:20:43Magnetic apocalypse? That can't be good.
01:20:52All right. Time to make my own luck.
01:20:54Billion dollars, here we come!
01:21:00What? A cow?
01:21:02Nice try, wheel. There are no cows on Genosha.
01:21:08All right, Sinister. Time to pay the pi-
01:21:11And what the hell happened to you?
01:21:15That looks very uncomfortable.
01:21:18You.
01:21:19Me?
01:21:21Deadpool, you repulsive, putrid mutate.
01:21:25Destroying this tower will do nothing to stop my plans to instill genetic perfection upon this world.
01:21:32Nothing you do will stop my master plans.
01:21:36Wait, wait, wait. Are you stuck in there?
01:21:39No. That would be ridiculous.
01:21:42Oh, so then you wouldn't mind if I played with this?
01:21:47Wait, what are you doing? No, don't touch that!
01:21:50I don't know about you, but...
01:21:53It's a music game.
01:21:55Out of my way!
01:21:57Punish me!
01:21:59Die, you mother-
01:22:01Don't let me die!
01:22:04You mother-
01:22:11Dang it!
01:22:13Wait, what does this one do?
01:22:19Ooh! Dying-a time!
01:22:34Hey, Summers! Was that the big problem you needed help with?
01:22:39Because I just took care of it.
01:22:41Like a boss!
01:22:42Huzzah.
01:22:43Wade, that wasn't-
01:22:45Seriously, roll credits. We're done here.
01:22:48Woo!
01:22:55That wasn't Sinister! That was a clone!
01:22:58Damn, Summers, what'd you have for breakfast? Smells like tacos.
01:23:02You like tacos, Wade?
01:23:04No, you know, I know this hot taco lady, Samantha. Oh, she makes the best-
01:23:08Wade, what if you could never eat one of Samantha's tacos ever again?
01:23:14What you talking about, Summers?
01:23:16Mr. Sinister is going to kill Samantha, destroy all her tacos,
01:23:21and everyone else in this place, unless you stop him!
01:23:25Shit just got real!
01:23:27Indeed.
01:23:28So, we going back-to-back train style on this one?
01:23:31Uh, no, I can't stay.
01:23:34I'm fighting my own battles in the future, all of which hinge on what you do here and now.
01:23:41Anyway, the real Mr. Sinister is holed up on Magneto's old citadel on the far side of the island.
01:23:48Easily a day's walk, so we'd better-
01:23:51Fuck walking! Get ready for plan awesome!
01:23:59If you insist on me building this thing, then I'll need two parts.
01:24:03My readings show the first one is that way.
01:24:06Yo, Summers! Thought you said this was the way to go. Door's locked.
01:24:18What the hell, Summers?
01:24:20I learned it by watching you, all right?
01:24:22Summers, here's the last part you need.
01:24:25Now let's roll out!
01:24:28Uh, wrong franchise, buddy.
01:24:31Wade, I'm going back to the city.
01:24:35Wade, this has got to be the dumbest idea you've ever had.
01:24:39The risk is considerable.
01:24:41This is my-
01:24:42Great, Cable! Thanks, awesome, bye! See you again in traffic!
01:24:47Dammit, Wade!
01:24:57Yo, dawg, I heard you like boots.
01:25:00So I put my boots in this boot so I can stop you while I stop you.
01:25:11It's cool. We totally meant to do that.
01:25:14Yeah, we're gonna call bullshit.
01:25:19Hey, bad guys! Time out for a sec.
01:25:21Need to fix our boots.
01:25:23Yeah, this is gonna end well.
01:25:26Come on, come on, come on!
01:25:28That might match something.
01:25:31There we go.
01:25:42Nope.
01:25:44Uh-uh.
01:25:46Nope.
01:25:50Ah, shit!
01:25:51No!
01:25:54Bring it to boots!
01:25:55No!
01:25:56Bring it to Pete!
01:25:59Ah, shit!
01:26:07Hey, I think I'm getting the hang of the best plan ever!
01:26:12Yeah, we told Cable this is a good plan.
01:26:15Flawless execution, perfect timing, one of our finest moments.
01:26:19I did poop a little.
01:26:21All part of the plan.
01:26:24BUDGET
01:26:27Sure were a lot of expensive setups in that level.
01:26:30Hope Peter's okay with the budget.
01:26:32Budget? We'll show him budget.
01:26:35Watch this!
01:26:39Hey, there's Rogue!
01:26:41Flying just like us!
01:26:42Flying right at us!
01:26:44Dibble, look out!
01:26:46BUDGET
01:26:51Being upside down is fun!
01:26:53Dick, we'll quit fooling around!
01:26:56Gotcha!
01:26:58Wait till Sinister gets his hands on you!
01:27:01Isn't that Blockbuster?
01:27:03Shit!
01:27:04That's not good.
01:27:07This is gonna hurt!
01:27:17BUDGET
01:27:20I gotta get my head on straight!
01:27:23Nice ass!
01:27:25Wait, that's our ass.
01:27:28We'll need to find our arm to twist the head back on.
01:27:32Dammit, even the controls are backwards!
01:27:35Pretty confusing.
01:27:37Come on, Blair, figure it out!
01:27:39Is that Mr. Sugums?
01:27:41What's he doing down here?
01:27:42Hey!
01:27:44Well, the mud has good taste.
01:27:47Drop it!
01:27:49Drop it!
01:27:50Don't make me shoot you, boo-boo.
01:27:52Come on, don't you have balls to lick?
01:27:55Come, come lick my...
01:28:02There we go.
01:28:07Much better.
01:28:09Good boy.
01:28:11Who's a good doggie?
01:28:15That's right, Sid.
01:28:18You dicks hang out here often?
01:28:20Get it, with the dicks?
01:28:22Dude, seriously?
01:28:23I'm gonna sing the pee-pee song.
01:28:25I'm gonna sing the pee-pee song.
01:28:28Nice dick.
01:28:32I haven't drained the old lizard since level one.
01:28:35Dude, don't talk while I pee, all right?
01:28:39That water is cold.
01:28:41And deep.
01:28:47Yeah, I don't measure by length.
01:28:49I go by weight.
01:28:56Hey, blood in your pee is normal, right?
01:29:00Hey, blood in your pee is normal, right?
01:29:09It burns so good.
01:29:17I think I just passed a stone.
01:29:20Damn it, not the shoes.
01:29:24Hey, buddy.
01:29:26Wanna give me a hand with this?
01:29:28It's kinda heavy.
01:29:30Not cool, man.
01:29:32Really?
01:29:36Not one to judge, but why don't your drapes match the carpet?
01:29:40Dude, don't look.
01:29:42Trying to kill you.
01:29:46You should really have those moles checked.
01:29:49Is this normal?
01:29:54Hey, covered wagon.
01:29:57Haven't seen one of those in years.
01:29:59Disgusting. You know, you get head cheese under there.
01:30:06You know, I had a friend who had two holes on him.
01:30:10Called him Dose.
01:30:16Hey, look at that, buddy.
01:30:18Ever seen anything like that that's still white?
01:30:21Really?
01:30:26Wow, that is a whole lot of piss.
01:30:29Yeah, hey.
01:30:52Okay, I get it.
01:30:54Never break the guy code again.
01:30:56Ah, shit.
01:31:02My god, what the f-
01:31:03Why is this happening?
01:31:07We need to make a quick phone call.
01:31:10Peter, Steadpool.
01:31:12What the hell is High Moon doing to my game?
01:31:15Well, use the money I transferred to your account
01:31:17and patch this shit.
01:31:20Oh, baby. Is that what I think it is?
01:31:23This must be it.
01:31:25Mind if I saddle up to this water hole?
01:31:28Oh, I love it when you talk like that.
01:31:31Yes, now that's more like it.
01:31:34What? I wasn't talking to you, jerk.
01:31:37Get away.
01:31:39Hi, Deadpool.
01:31:41So I totally told her this morning
01:31:43that I was going to meet you at the beach.
01:31:46Hi, Deadpool.
01:31:48So I totally told her this wasn't going to be a hot party,
01:31:50so she didn't come.
01:31:52Thank god, she's not cool enough to hang out with Deadpool.
01:31:55I know. I can't believe she has 2% body fat.
01:31:57I mean, really?
01:31:59Oh my god, this conversation is so cliché.
01:32:02I know, right?
01:32:04We're so specifically written as female tropes,
01:32:06it's almost painful.
01:32:09Blush.
01:32:14Hi, name's Deadpool.
01:32:16Perhaps you've heard of me, star of the game
01:32:18that you're currently in.
01:32:20Oh, yeah. Don't you have your own reality show?
01:32:23Yep, that's me.
01:32:25So, wanna make...
01:32:27Why, hello, nurses.
01:32:29How are we today? Care for a drink?
01:32:31Hi, Deadpool. Nice muscles.
01:32:34I was gonna say that!
01:32:36Ladies, ladies.
01:32:38I don't mind repeat compliment.
01:32:40So, if I flip a coin,
01:32:42what are my chances of getting tail?
01:32:47Rogue!
01:32:49Deadpool? What are you...
01:32:51Don't waste your time with her.
01:32:55Oh, daddy likes.
01:32:57Just wait, honey.
01:32:59I'm about to blow you away.
01:33:07What the hell?
01:33:09You mean this whole party was just in our head?
01:33:12Surprise!
01:33:14Huh?
01:33:15Sinister's got plans for you.
01:33:18Hey, let me go!
01:33:20Deadpool!
01:33:26Wrecked him?
01:33:28Darn near killed him.
01:33:33Wrecked him?
01:33:35Wrecked him? Darn near killed him.
01:33:41Talk about breaking the suspension of disbelief.
01:33:44Hey, there's Rogue.
01:33:46Okay, so we need to get our ass across this...
01:33:49this river of shit somehow.
01:33:52Any ideas?
01:33:54Think, think, think.
01:33:56Wait, do that again.
01:33:58Do what?
01:33:59That.
01:34:01We could use our bubbles...
01:34:04to jump across.
01:34:06Well, isn't that handy.
01:34:10Oh, how exciting.
01:34:12This is great.
01:34:17Yahoo!
01:34:21Here goes nothing.
01:34:31Enough already!
01:34:33No wonder I stopped playing JRPGs.
01:34:36One quick thrust.
01:34:40Surprise!
01:34:42Ha! Got the little bitch this time, didn't we?
01:34:52Pose for the camera, Mr. Silly.
01:34:56I'm so posting this on Twerk.
01:35:00Looks like we got here just in the nick of time.
01:35:15Yowza! Rogue is messed up!
01:35:18She needs to absorb our healing factor through...
01:35:21skin contact.
01:35:24Yes!
01:35:26Rogue, there's no time to explain.
01:35:28But we gotta suck face like there's no tomorrow.
01:35:32Oh, I'll be gentle, darling.
01:35:37Holy shit!
01:35:39Is that even legal?
01:35:41Rogue, baby! You're sucking too much of my...
01:35:46My...
01:35:49Now that's what I call a kiss, sugar.
01:35:52Holy shit! We're in her head now!
01:35:57The girls are as firm as ever.
01:36:06Don't worry, Rogue. We'll save you.
01:36:14Mr. Snookums?
01:36:16What are you...
01:36:34No guts, no gore.
01:36:36You see what we did there about the...
01:36:39Forget it.
01:36:40How profound.
01:36:43All right, the cart is ready.
01:36:45Pull that lever to open the gate.
01:36:47Okay, I'm pulling this lever right here to open the gate.
01:36:50Which lever?
01:36:51This lever.
01:36:54That's fine, we'll work with that lever, son.
01:36:56Yes, the gate is now open because I pulled this lever.
01:37:00Dude!
01:37:01We get it, High Moon. Thanks.
01:37:09Holy shit! We got him!
01:37:12We got him!
01:37:21Hey, babe! Good to see ya!
01:37:24It's been a long time, darling.
01:37:27What am I doing here? What are you doing here?
01:37:29Why are we dancing?
01:37:31You've bled out, my love.
01:37:33And now we're together.
01:37:35As always, our time is short.
01:37:38I need you to do something for me.
01:37:41Dammit, sugar skull.
01:37:43Mr. Sinister is exhuming mutant corpses and harvesting their DNA.
01:37:48Ooh, sounds heavy.
01:37:50The spirits of those mutants still linger here, yearning to stop him.
01:37:54I cannot claim them.
01:37:56Hey, who ate my late burger with queso?
01:38:00You want me to free their souls, my bony muffin?
01:38:03Yes.
01:38:05I got this, babe.
01:38:07Deadpool.
01:38:08Yes, my bony bride.
01:38:10Pull yourself together.
01:38:16What a dream.
01:38:19We're sending you down the tracks.
01:38:25The destruction of the Catacombs can now begin.
01:38:29Now we can be together.
01:38:32Forever!
01:38:34This paper's going smitty.
01:38:40Baby, you're the deadest.
01:38:43You released the spirits for me.
01:38:46Thank you, my darling.
01:38:48Now you must leave me.
01:38:52What? No, no, babe.
01:38:55Was it something I said?
01:38:57Oh, it's something you are, Wade.
01:39:00You're alive.
01:39:02Go. Finish your journey.
01:39:05And stop Sinister.
01:39:07But, but, baby!
01:39:09Our time will come.
01:39:12You believe this?
01:39:13Cock-blocked twice in my own game.
01:39:16Cowboy up, nerd.
01:39:18Time for villain farmers to pay the ferryman.
01:39:23That's an America Fuck Yeah moment right there.
01:39:34What is this strange new world death has presented us with?
01:39:38Huh? It's Genosha.
01:39:40We're back on the surface.
01:39:41Ah, I love it. It's very French.
01:39:44Focus. We should get to-
01:39:46Oh my God, what's that over there?
01:39:53I smell cheap hot sauce.
01:39:56Deadpool! I know you're around here!
01:39:59Hey! Oh, it's you.
01:40:02What were you doing over there?
01:40:04Just a little surprise for our player.
01:40:06What?
01:40:07Whatever. We gotta move.
01:40:09We need everybody on this one if we're gonna stop Sinister.
01:40:12That means you too.
01:40:14Yeah. Duh. It's my game.
01:40:16Game?
01:40:18This is serious.
01:40:20You quit scratching your ass, bub, and get into the fight.
01:40:26He said ass, bub.
01:40:37Launch sequence initiator.
01:40:42Aerodynamic stabilizer activated.
01:40:48Carpool lane, buddy? Seated and comfy.
01:40:56Advance propulsion systems.
01:40:58On-line!
01:41:07Of course! We need fuel!
01:41:20What's this baby at 69.9 miles per hour?
01:41:25Oh my God, what's that over there?
01:41:40What were you doing over there?
01:41:42Just a little surprise for our player.
01:41:44What?
01:41:45Whatever. We gotta move.
01:41:47We need everybody on this one if we're gonna stop Sinister.
01:41:50What?
01:41:51Whatever. We gotta move.
01:41:53Just a little surprise for our player.
01:42:23Is that dead?
01:42:35I didn't sign up for this.
01:42:53Oh no.
01:43:15What a bunch of chumps.
01:43:24I do everything by fifth.
01:43:26What the...
01:43:42Enough! Deadpool, you are a repugnant!
01:43:47Revolting!
01:43:50Revolting!
01:43:52Disgusting abomination!
01:43:55With no place in this world!
01:43:58Well, here we are. The moment of truth.
01:44:01Can you believe it?
01:44:02You know, I wasn't sure how you'd do, but...
01:44:05Gotta say, you crushed it.
01:44:07Well, we crushed it.
01:44:08We make an amazing team.
01:44:10Nearly brings us to tears.
01:44:12We should do this more often.
01:44:14We thought it'd be better for the game if we did it this way.
01:44:17You know, giving you the glory after we did all the work.
01:44:20Just push your button to execute our super awesome amazing plan.
01:44:27Sinister is standing right on the...
01:44:28Shut up, stupid. Don't spoil it.
01:44:32Go ahead, player. Whenever you're ready.
01:44:36Just push the button.
01:44:40Oh, did you want to go make a sandwich while the master villain stands behind me ready to strike?
01:44:44Oh, I'll go right ahead. We'll wait.
01:44:48I know it can be hard to execute a long string of button presses like this one.
01:44:51But you can do it. We believe in you.
01:44:56Still here, FYI.
01:45:00Come on, player. Come on! We've climbed the mountaintop together.
01:45:03Don't give up now!
01:45:09This totally reminds me of that one time with those other dudes
01:45:12when we totally did that one thing and everyone busted up laughing
01:45:15because what's-his-name fell over to that other guy
01:45:18and we were all like, PUSH THE DAMN BUTTON!
01:45:30Wait, that was the real Sinister, right?
01:45:37Seriously, roll credits. We're done here.
01:45:43Oh, shit.
01:45:49Holy shit.
01:45:52That. Was. Awesome!
01:45:56Deadpool! Hey! You did it, buddy!
01:46:00Look, I know we've had our differences, but look, I'll admit it.
01:46:04The game rocks! You rock, pal!
01:46:07Pal?
01:46:08And I hate to admit this, but we're actually not that much over budget.
01:46:12I didn't want to tell you that before, but now that the game's over and, you know...
01:46:16Hey, Peter!
01:46:17Uh, yeah?
01:46:18Get your checkbook ready.
01:46:22No! You're going over budget, dammit! You gotta stop!
01:46:39This is my jam!
01:46:42Be all that you can be, that is what they told me
01:46:45Made me all I can be, how they try to mold me
01:46:47Mix a little bit of the best of the rest
01:46:49Fight off Weapon X, well, we'll see who's next
01:46:51I'm Deadpool!
01:46:53Can't expect a miracle, bet not a devil
01:46:55I'm your best friend if you keep my money level
01:46:57Never without a gun, I don't hardly bleach it out
01:46:59Survivable plans are plans I never think about
01:47:01That's right, Biatch. Keep those guns clean.
01:47:06Yeah, clean as a whistle!
01:47:12In the crib.
01:47:14A crib?
01:47:15It means domicile.
01:47:17I don't know what that means.
01:47:19Crib.
01:47:20Yeah, crib. Like, where we live.
01:47:24Who's hungry?
01:47:30What the fuck just happened?
01:47:32Who wrote this song?
01:47:34We can save this shit.
01:47:36It's clear.
01:47:38Okay!
01:47:39Deadpool!
01:47:41Deadpool!
01:47:43Deadpool!
01:47:45Deadpool!
01:47:47Deadpool!
01:47:49Deadpool!
01:48:04Thanks for watching!