A Woman’s Forced Marriage in Post-Invasion Afghanistan, in “Hills and Mountains”

The New Yorker

An accusation levelled against a teen-age girl changes the course of her life, in Salar Pashtoonyar’s documentary about life after the Soviet-Afghan war.

Transcript

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00:30I was born in a remote village.

00:33Before me, my parents had six children.

00:36For them, my birth was a dream come true.

00:43We had a good life until the war broke out.

00:49I was ten years old when on Christmas Eve,

00:5219 of them took to the streets of Afghanistan.

00:56The lives of Afghans changed forever.

01:01Every family took part in the war against the Russians.

01:04My two brothers, Akram and Habib,

01:06who were 21 and 22 years old,

01:09took part in the war to defend our country.

01:14My two brothers have been missing

01:16since the morning on Friday

01:18when they left the house's wooden door.

01:23Before the war, Afghanistan was one of the most

01:26free and peaceful countries in Asia.

01:29For decades, foreigners from America, Canada and Germany

01:33traveled to this country by land.

01:37But after the Russian occupation,

01:39everything changed.

01:41In the first years of the war,

01:43about one million people were killed.

01:46All the food sources were cut off.

01:49One of the effects of the war

01:51was the marriage of underage girls.

01:55I think at that time,

01:57underage girls were more likely to die

02:00because of starvation.

02:04When I was 15 years old,

02:06my underage daughters were either married or dead

02:09or missing.

02:12I promised my father

02:14not to marry me until I was ready to get married.

02:19But in the past,

02:21there were more problems in Afghanistan.

02:24People died of starvation

02:26or because of violence.

02:29Foreigners would give weapons

02:31to Afghanistan instead of ending the war

02:33to continue the war.

02:35My father had no choice

02:37but to transfer us to a safer place.

02:42We fled the mountains and mountains

02:44on foot to Tajikistan.

02:47Sometimes I think

02:49I wish we had never left Afghanistan.

02:53We lived in a large Afghan family.

02:57The wife of this family

02:59accused me of having an illicit relationship

03:01with her brother-in-law.

03:05She said I was with her brother-in-law

03:07and that she had seen me with him.

03:11I don't know if she hated me

03:13or wanted her brother-in-law to cause her problems.

03:17My brothers wanted to kill me

03:19because of a shameful act

03:21that I had never committed.

03:27My father felt ashamed

03:29among the people.

03:31I was so ashamed.

03:34I cried all night

03:36and stayed awake

03:38because I was afraid

03:40my brothers would kill me.

03:43They agreed to marry me

03:45even though I didn't want to.

03:48I begged them not to marry me

03:50because I didn't want to force them

03:52to marry me because of an accusation.

03:59I was infamous

04:01and no one would accept me.

04:06My mother was afraid

04:08that my brothers would kill me

04:10and send me to prison.

04:13I would have to wear a wedding dress

04:15or a shroud.

04:20That's why I said

04:22I would marry a man

04:24who was accused of having an illicit relationship with me.

04:28That's why my father

04:30believed that I had an illicit relationship with him.

04:34My father never understood

04:36why I wanted to marry him.

04:40I thought my reasons

04:42wouldn't work

04:44and my father would never believe me.

04:55An infamous woman

04:57cannot marry anyone

04:59or be forgiven.

05:02I was very sad

05:04on my wedding day.

05:06My entire family was depressed.

05:11I didn't feel like it was my wedding day.

05:15I felt like it was my funeral.

05:19I realized how difficult life can be

05:22when you're accused of something.

05:29Family hatred is more difficult

05:31than punishment and even murder.

05:41I felt like I deserved to die

05:43because my father was angry with me.

05:50I was afraid that if I married someone else

05:53my family would have the same attitude

05:56as I did.

06:01I was happy

06:03that I married a man

06:05who was accused of having an illicit relationship with me.

06:08You know very well

06:10that all of this is an unjust accusation.

06:13An unjust accusation.

06:16Even though my life was not good,

06:19my husband never accepted my family.

06:22We lived with all the problems

06:24and hatred from my family.

06:33In 1989, I heard on the radio

06:36that the Red Crescent had left Afghanistan.

06:41It was a good news for me.

06:43It was a good news for me

06:45because I could go back to my homeland

06:47without any hesitation.

06:50I was able to bring back

06:52my childhood memories

06:54and the bright future.

06:57One year after the defeat

06:59and the exit of the Red Crescent

07:01we returned to Afghanistan.

07:03Afghanistan was no longer the same

07:05but I had changed a lot.

07:10Finally, my father realized

07:12that I was innocent

07:14but it was too late.

07:17I had lost my husband

07:19as a result of internal wars

07:21and I was a widow.

07:25Sometimes I think to myself

07:28that if they didn't doubt me

07:30and believed my words

07:32I would have lived a different life.

08:02For more information visit www.fema.gov

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