My Family and Other Animals (2005) ⭐ 7.3 | Comedy, Dram
Directed by Sheree Folkson. With Eugene Simon, Imelda Staunton, Chris Langham, Omid Djalili. An English family relocates to sunny Greece four years before WWII.
Release date: Dec 27, 2005
Duration: 01:30:00
Director: Sheree Folkson
Actors: Eugene SimonImelda StauntonChris Langham
Release date: Dec 27, 2005
Duration: 01:30:00
Director: Sheree Folkson
Actors: Eugene SimonImelda StauntonChris Langham
Transcript
00:00:00Oh
00:00:31Why do we put up with this bloody climate? I mean, look at us.
00:00:35Gerry can't speak. Leslie can't hear.
00:00:38What?
00:00:39Margaret's got a face like a plate of red porridge.
00:00:41Shut up.
00:00:42Mother's beginning to look like an Irish washerwoman.
00:00:44I am not.
00:00:45It's August. We need sunshine.
00:00:48Yes, dear.
00:00:49I've got a friend. Lives in Greece. Corfu. Says it's wonderful.
00:00:52Why don't we pack up and go?
00:00:54I can't just go like that. We have a house here.
00:00:56We'll sell up.
00:00:57Don't be ridiculous, Lawrence.
00:00:59Gerry needs an education.
00:01:01No, I'll be fine.
00:01:02We can't just up and leave. That would be madness.
00:01:19This is the story of the time I spent on Corfu.
00:01:22It was originally intended to be a mildly nostalgic account of the natural history of the island.
00:01:28But I made the grave mistake of introducing my family, who proceeded to take over.
00:01:34It was only with the greatest difficulty, and by exercising considerable cunning,
00:01:39that I managed to retain a small space exclusively for the animals.
00:01:54What is...
00:01:55Grubs.
00:01:57They're about to turn into beetles.
00:01:59You can tell by the way their skin's getting darker.
00:02:03Sheep.
00:02:04Roger. It's important to have a dog.
00:02:10I'm a writer.
00:02:11That one's very good. Challenges all sorts of perceived bourgeois crap.
00:02:27Good.
00:02:34This, no.
00:02:36It's bed linen.
00:02:37Mercedise. Tax.
00:02:40It's our bed linen. You silly man.
00:02:43Come away, Mother. Let's put off annoying people as long as possible.
00:02:57Is it a bank holiday?
00:03:14Not quite the gracious arrival I'd hoped for.
00:03:17Not quite the gracious arrival I'd hoped for.
00:03:23Come on.
00:03:24Ow! Ow! Wait for me! Do something!
00:03:27Help!
00:03:29Emily, go away!
00:03:31Hey!
00:03:32Sorry! Sorry!
00:03:33Come on, Gerald! Now!
00:03:36Well, they all seemed very nice.
00:03:38The manager wouldn't give me any lavatory pay cuts.
00:03:40Not at the table.
00:03:41You didn't look at the animals.
00:03:43You couldn't see the animals within the room.
00:03:45No, because they were nasty.
00:03:49I thought you'd find it all rather nice.
00:03:55Well, then that's the end of my story.
00:03:57I have to go home.
00:03:58No, you can't go.
00:04:00You can't go.
00:04:01The manager wouldn't give me any lavatory paper.
00:04:03Not at the table.
00:04:04It didn't look properly.
00:04:06Got a little box fall by the pan.
00:04:08Margot, dear.
00:04:09What?
00:04:10The box is for paper that's been used.
00:04:13Plumbing here can't take it.
00:04:14Oh.
00:04:18No, I used it.
00:04:20Yes, it is a bit insanitary.
00:04:23You remind me to look up typhoid
00:04:24in the foot walking reception.
00:04:27Oh.
00:04:28Oh.
00:04:29Oh.
00:04:30Oh.
00:04:32Very emotional age.
00:04:34I want to send some disinfectant up to her room.
00:04:38Here they come.
00:04:40I'm sure I've got typhoid.
00:04:42I feel all typhoid-y.
00:04:44I'm sorry, but you've shown us 10 houses,
00:04:47and none of them has a bathroom.
00:04:49Oh, not again.
00:04:50Bathroom?
00:04:51What for do you want a bathroom?
00:04:53You have the sea.
00:04:54Oh, this is the cradle of civilization.
00:04:58They must have bathrooms.
00:05:02We'll find a place ourselves.
00:05:03Uh.
00:05:04Oh.
00:05:05Um.
00:05:06Uh.
00:05:07Taxi?
00:05:11We don't actually speak Greek.
00:05:14We do plan to learn.
00:05:15Yes, we do.
00:05:16Oh.
00:05:17Oh.
00:05:18Oh.
00:05:19Oh.
00:05:20Oh.
00:05:21Oh.
00:05:22Why don't you do something, Larry?
00:05:24They're just being Greek.
00:05:31Hey!
00:05:36You need someone to talk to your language?
00:05:41Them's been warning yous?
00:05:42Uh, no.
00:05:43No.
00:05:44Hey!
00:05:46Fugete!
00:05:59So, taxi?
00:06:02Where do you want to go?
00:06:03Eh?
00:06:09You know what?
00:06:09Iglis always wants bathrooms.
00:06:12I got a bathroom in my house.
00:06:14Eight years I was in Chicago.
00:06:16And then I say, Spiro, yous made enough money.
00:06:18So I come back, huh?
00:06:20I bring this car with me.
00:06:21Best car on the island.
00:06:23I tell you no word of a lie.
00:06:24Ha, ha, ha.
00:06:25Oh.
00:06:26Hey, eyes on the road.
00:06:29All Iglis tourists, they ask for me
00:06:30when they come to the island.
00:06:31Yeah.
00:06:32You know, if I wasn't Greek, yeah, I'd like to be Iglis.
00:06:45There.
00:06:46Villa with bathrooms.
00:06:58It was as though the villa had been standing
00:06:59there waiting for our arrival.
00:07:02We felt we'd come home.
00:07:04Well, take it.
00:07:09Jerry!
00:07:11Thanks.
00:07:14When Spiro had taken charge, he stuck to us like a bird
00:07:17and became part of the family, like a great, brown, ugly angel.
00:07:22He watched over us, tenderly.
00:07:24Ah, there's the guy, big guy.
00:07:28Oh, Mrs. Donalds, you have everything?
00:07:41Wait a minute.
00:07:44What are these people's things?
00:07:45They are merchandise.
00:07:46Uh-uh.
00:07:47We come to take them.
00:07:48Come on, get them.
00:07:49Customs bastards, huh?
00:07:51I know them all.
00:07:52Hey, why are you opening it, you son of a bitch?
00:07:53It is my duty.
00:07:54Duty, huh?
00:07:55Treat innocent foreigners like smugglers, huh?
00:07:57That's your duty?
00:08:00Bastards think they own the place.
00:08:02Come on.
00:08:05Come on.
00:08:06Come on.
00:08:11You look like him.
00:08:12You look like him.
00:08:12Yeah.
00:08:16Jerry, don't pick your knee.
00:08:17Come on, he took on your pity.
00:08:19Will you run up to my bedroom and fetch my cigarettes?
00:08:22You should fetch them yourself.
00:08:23That's the problem with this family.
00:08:24No give or take, no consideration for others.
00:08:27You don't have much consideration for others.
00:08:28It's all your fault, Mother.
00:08:30You shouldn't have brought us up to be so selfish.
00:08:31Oh, I like that.
00:08:32I never did anything of the sort.
00:08:33Well, we didn't get as selfish as this without some guidance.
00:08:36You ought to be careful what you say.
00:08:38We don't want to hurt your mother.
00:08:39Why?
00:08:40She's never done anything for us.
00:08:42Don't joke.
00:08:43Don't even joke about it.
00:08:45He's quite right.
00:08:46She's really not much good as a mother, you know.
00:08:48Don't say that.
00:08:49Don't say that.
00:08:51Honest to gods, if I had a mother like you,
00:08:53I would kiss her feet every morning until I die.
00:09:06So we were installed in the villa,
00:09:08and we each settled down and adapted ourselves
00:09:10to our surroundings in our respective ways.
00:09:20To explain some of our more curious behavior,
00:09:22I feel that I should state that at the time we were in Corfu,
00:09:25the family was a bit of a mess.
00:09:27It was a bit of a mess.
00:09:28It was a bit of a mess.
00:09:29It was a bit of a mess.
00:09:30It was a bit of a mess.
00:09:31It was a bit of a mess.
00:09:32It was a bit of a mess.
00:09:33It was a bit of a mess.
00:09:34At the time we were in Corfu, the family were all quite young,
00:09:38apart from Mother, whose age we never knew for the simple reason
00:09:41that she could never remember her date of birth.
00:10:05MUSIC PLAYS
00:10:13DOG BARKS
00:10:22Who parked that donkey there?
00:10:25Why don't you move it if it disturbs you, dear?
00:10:27Because future generations should not be deprived of my work
00:10:29because I was outside shooing away donkeys.
00:10:31Try this. Try this.
00:10:32Bloody hell. What is it?
00:10:34Melitsana horiatiki.
00:10:36Haven't the cornflakes arrived?
00:10:37Larry, darling, we've come away to try new things.
00:10:40I found a crab spider.
00:10:42And if you move it to a different coloured leaf,
00:10:44it changes colour if you wait long enough.
00:10:50Why's he wearing those boots in this heat?
00:10:52Snakes.
00:10:54And the jumper?
00:10:56So we don't lose him.
00:10:57Look, it's a large family. It could do with thinning out.
00:11:00Christ's sake!
00:11:02Mmm.
00:11:06Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
00:11:08Now, is Lesley going to do that all day?
00:11:12It's his hobby. We all need a hobby.
00:11:14He's not very good at anything else.
00:11:16Oh, yes, yes, we all need a hobby.
00:11:18Shut up!
00:11:22I'm not sure sunbathing like that is terribly wise.
00:11:25That costume doesn't cover an awful lot.
00:11:28Don't be so old-fashioned.
00:11:30I only die once.
00:11:33You know those black caterpillars I thought were caterpillars?
00:11:36They're not.
00:11:38They're ladybirds just hatched,
00:11:40but they look exactly like caterpillars.
00:11:42Yes!
00:11:44And the flies I was telling you about,
00:11:46the lacewing flies,
00:11:48they lay their eggs inside flowers so that when...
00:11:51I'll tell you later.
00:11:56Where are you going?
00:11:58Have fun.
00:12:00Does Mum know?
00:12:02I'm going exploring!
00:12:06In those early days of exploration,
00:12:09Roger was the perfect companion for adventure.
00:12:12Affectionate without exuberance,
00:12:14brave without being belligerent,
00:12:16intelligent and full of good humour
00:12:18tolerance for my eccentricities.
00:12:28Excuse me.
00:12:30Do you know how to spell beware and quiet?
00:12:37I'll have a guess.
00:12:58I'll have a guess.
00:13:17You're doing a good job.
00:13:19Well done.
00:13:21When you're done,
00:13:23I'll cook you something to eat.
00:13:25You're very weak.
00:13:29Ah!
00:13:33Come here, please.
00:13:35What beautiful Greek!
00:13:37Well done!
00:13:59Thank you.
00:14:01You're welcome.
00:14:29Bim, bim, bim.
00:14:31Bim, bim, bim.
00:14:36Not hatched yet, Roger.
00:14:58WHISTLE BLOWS
00:15:28WHISTLE BLOWS
00:15:58WHISTLE BLOWS
00:16:08All right.
00:16:10But that's it. No more pets.
00:16:14How are my spots, Mother?
00:16:16Lovely, darling. Very pretty.
00:16:18Mm. Pretty vain.
00:16:20Mummy's boy.
00:16:22I am not, am I, Mum?
00:16:24It's Achilles' favourite.
00:16:29Jerry, you can take off your jumper.
00:16:35Oh!
00:16:37It looks like a badly cooked chicken.
00:16:39Oh, and one of Margot's admirers handed this in.
00:16:47That was there for a reason!
00:16:49Well, anyway, your spelling is appalling.
00:16:51You need some sort of education.
00:16:53No! No, I don't!
00:16:55He'll either dance or he'll turn into one of those awful tongue-tied hobbledy-ories.
00:16:58He just needs a good grounding in literature.
00:17:00I recommend Rubberley.
00:17:02He's a little too old for Jerry, don't you think?
00:17:04It's important he gets sex in the right perspective.
00:17:06You have a mania about sex. You drag it into everything.
00:17:08Healthy, outdoor life. That's all he needs.
00:17:10Shooting and sailing.
00:17:12You're talking like a bloody bishop.
00:17:14You are so opinionated! Shut up.
00:17:16Children, stop it. We need someone who will teach Jerry,
00:17:19but also encourage his interest in wildlife.
00:17:21Why? It's just a phase.
00:17:23Why do you always talk about me as though I'm not here?
00:17:25My friend George is still out here.
00:17:27I suppose he could have a stab at teaching.
00:17:29Oh, that's a good idea. Mm-hm.
00:17:37Um...
00:17:45Can you repeat the question again?
00:17:48How long would it take six men to build a wall
00:17:53if three of them took a week?
00:17:58Um...
00:18:04Um...
00:18:18All right. Um...
00:18:20If it took two slugs a week to eat eight leaves,
00:18:25how long would it take four slugs to eat the same number?
00:18:29What kind of slug?
00:18:31Any kind.
00:18:34He just doesn't seem very keen to learn.
00:18:37Of course he isn't, George. He's 12.
00:18:39And he is living in what amounts to, for him, a large sweet shop.
00:18:43Mother, is there any clean underwear?
00:18:47A little louder, Margot, dear.
00:18:49I'm not sure they've got that in Macedonia.
00:18:53You may want to close your mouth before an insect flies in.
00:18:58Aye, that's quite a blush.
00:19:00I could toast a bun on you.
00:19:02She's, um, terribly striking.
00:19:04Yes.
00:19:06I should probably have put her in the stout jumper rather than Gerald.
00:19:09Talking of whom,
00:19:11I think the answer is to play to his strengths, don't you?
00:19:14Well, I have had a go.
00:19:16You know, what are six cockatoos times seven cockatoos kind of thing?
00:19:21Forty-two cockatoos.
00:19:24Um, yes.
00:19:30Well, anyway, um, let's, um, loosen the reins a little more, shall we?
00:19:34And bring him outdoors. It's not natural to be inside.
00:19:37You bastard!
00:19:45As you can see.
00:19:51Good. That's good.
00:19:53And, uh, let's not forget the history.
00:19:56Name Hannibal's elephants as he crossed the Alps.
00:19:59Bardi. Good.
00:20:01Jesper.
00:20:03Amato.
00:20:05Ceres.
00:20:07Domito.
00:20:09Sextus.
00:20:11Titus.
00:20:14The Rose Beetle Man.
00:20:20And lessons are over for today.
00:20:23Apparently.
00:20:25The Rose Beetle Man turned up fairly regularly
00:20:28with some new addition to my menagerie.
00:20:30A frog, perhaps.
00:20:32Or a white pigeon with a broken leg.
00:20:35Oof!
00:20:42Rich tea?
00:20:48Huh.
00:21:01Uh...
00:21:04A man I knew.
00:21:06A shepherd, like me.
00:21:10He was sleeping under a tree.
00:21:12A scorpion.
00:21:14It got into his ear.
00:21:16It pinched him.
00:21:19He called for help.
00:21:21A dragon.
00:21:23We found him.
00:21:25With a huge head.
00:21:27Wounded.
00:21:29He said he was pregnant.
00:21:32Decolon.
00:21:51This is the excitement.
00:21:53Comforted by a reluctant pupil,
00:21:55George strove to make my lessons as entertaining as possible.
00:21:59So, the French and British fleets were slowly drawing together
00:22:03for what was to be the decisive sea battle of the war.
00:22:06Seastars!
00:22:09I saw these in a book.
00:22:12Right. When the enemy was sighted, Nelson...
00:22:19Right. Nelson was on the bridge,
00:22:23birdwatching through his telescope.
00:22:30Having been warned of the enemy's approach by a friendly gull...
00:22:34No, don't ask me what kind of gull.
00:22:39Oh, Theo!
00:22:41Come on. He's an eccentric nature lover, like you,
00:22:44and an expert on practically everything.
00:22:47Gerald Darrell, Dr Theodore Stefanidi.
00:22:50Oh, very pleased to meet you.
00:22:52Oh, and you, yeah. Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.
00:22:55Interesting.
00:22:58Oh!
00:22:59Green sleeves was all my joy
00:23:03Green sleeves was my delight
00:23:06That really is the last pet he's getting.
00:23:09Green sleeves was my heart of gold
00:23:14And who but my lady green sleeves
00:23:20That was haunting. Thank you.
00:23:24I love it here.
00:23:27I want to be buried on Corfu.
00:23:29Can't you wait until tomorrow? It's turned a bit chilly out.
00:23:32Under the biggest cypress tree in the garden.
00:23:35You said up behind Yanni, the shepherd's house?
00:23:37Yes. I've been thinking that might be a bit inaccessible.
00:23:40I don't want the mourners dropping like flyers halfway up the hill.
00:23:44You all right?
00:23:47No. It's Missy Margo.
00:23:51What about her?
00:23:53She...
00:23:58She has a Turkish boyfriend.
00:24:01What's wrong with that?
00:24:03Apart from George being about to make his move.
00:24:05Bad luck, George. What's wrong?
00:24:07It's Missy Margo.
00:24:09Swimming together.
00:24:11Is she pregnant?
00:24:15Excuse me. I'm sure it will be fine.
00:24:17Can you invite him to tea?
00:24:19Tea?
00:24:21Zerath, I have a gift for you from Dr Theo.
00:24:25Who's he, dear?
00:24:27He's a friend of George's.
00:24:29He knows everything.
00:24:31I don't think so.
00:24:33I don't think so.
00:24:35I don't think so.
00:24:37He does everything.
00:24:39MUSIC PLAYS
00:25:03The only person I had met until now
00:25:06who seemed to share my enthusiasm for zoology was Theo.
00:25:10I was extremely flattered
00:25:12by the scientist of considerable repute,
00:25:15and I could have told this by his beard.
00:25:17He talked to me as though I was as knowledgeable as he.
00:25:21This is a spider, Cyclops viridis,
00:25:24that I caught out near Govino the other day.
00:25:29One eye in the middle of its head!
00:25:31It's incredible, isn't it?
00:25:33Hence, Cyclops. Cyclops.
00:25:35Wait, I've got a marvellous book about Greek mythology somewhere.
00:25:44I bought some insects.
00:25:48I wondered if you knew what they are.
00:25:52Jerry, I think we are going to get on rather well.
00:25:58Oh, now, that is... Phew!
00:26:01The whole family.
00:26:03This is very hard to catch.
00:26:07Oh!
00:26:11So, now...
00:26:15Pregnant.
00:26:17I've been meaning to have a talk about this
00:26:19because it's an important subject and very...
00:26:24..beautiful and...
00:26:27..quite...
00:26:29..confusing.
00:26:31And even...
00:26:34..shocking.
00:26:36What? I know all about it.
00:26:38I'm always seeing animals mating and giving birth.
00:26:41Well, it did strike me as strange.
00:26:43I thought you must know what goes on.
00:26:45Yes, I do. Excellent.
00:26:47Can I go now? No.
00:26:49Because we humans are different from animals.
00:26:52We...
00:26:57..well, perhaps we think too much.
00:27:00And you'll find that sometimes life,
00:27:04and your life, too, will be painful.
00:27:08Especially when it comes...
00:27:13..to love.
00:27:15Well, look at poor George.
00:27:17He's so upset about Margot, he's gone back to England.
00:27:20Why didn't he look for someone else here?
00:27:24Well, because he feels...
00:27:26..hopeless and lonely
00:27:28and he needs his family to cheer him up.
00:27:31There's a man looking all over for you.
00:27:33I don't know where he is.
00:27:35He needs his family to cheer him up.
00:27:37There's a man looking all smart coming up the path.
00:27:40Oh, God!
00:27:42He's here already!
00:27:45Everyone, he's here!
00:27:49Margot's told us so much about you.
00:28:06SIGHS
00:28:18We love Margot.
00:28:20Do have a scone.
00:28:23BIRDS CHIRP
00:28:33You write, I believe?
00:28:35Yes, I, er...
00:28:37I always feel I could write superbly if I tried.
00:28:39Really?
00:28:41Well, it's a gift, isn't it?
00:28:43He swims very well.
00:28:45Goes out terribly far.
00:28:47Perhaps he'd like to demonstrate.
00:28:50I'm a superb swimmer.
00:28:52I know no fear.
00:28:54When I ride a horse,
00:28:56I have no fear because I ride superbly.
00:28:59I can sail a boat in a typhoon...
00:29:02..without fear.
00:29:05You see?
00:29:07I am not a fearful man.
00:29:09I wish you wouldn't wear so much perfume.
00:29:11DOG BARKS
00:29:13SOBS
00:29:17It's Achilles.
00:29:19He's fallen down a well.
00:29:21I think he's dead.
00:29:23Oh.
00:29:27Oh.
00:29:32He's a tortoise.
00:29:35Ah.
00:29:43CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
00:30:09GUNSHOT
00:30:13CLASSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES
00:30:29Calispera.
00:30:31What are they?
00:30:33Rose beetles.
00:30:35They're beautiful.
00:30:37Sometimes I can see why you prefer creatures to people.
00:30:40Why are you so interested in them?
00:30:42They're just like us, aren't they?
00:30:44Families.
00:30:46I want to know how they all work.
00:30:48Imagine if they weren't there.
00:30:50Does he have to put them in strings?
00:30:52Better than in a box.
00:30:54Let's buy them all.
00:31:00For days, the villa was full of rose beetles,
00:31:03falling like emeralds into our laps.
00:31:07CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
00:31:14I've invited one or two people out for a week or so.
00:31:17Oh, that would be nice. Yeah.
00:31:19It would be good to have some intelligent and stimulating company.
00:31:22I hope they're not too highbrow.
00:31:24Of course they're not.
00:31:26They are charming, like me.
00:31:28SHOUTING
00:31:36SHOUTING
00:31:47Why do they think we English are all lords and ladies?
00:31:49Cos we act like it.
00:31:51You'd better tell the Pension Swiss your friends are coming.
00:31:53No, no, no. I've invited them to stay with us.
00:31:55How can they possibly stay with us?
00:31:57There's plenty of room.
00:31:59Margot can let us sleep on the balcony. What?
00:32:01That gives you two rooms. You'll have to write and put them off.
00:32:03I can't. They're on their way.
00:32:05Oh, really? You are so thoughtless.
00:32:08Where are they going to sleep?
00:32:11We'll move into a bigger villa.
00:32:13I can't afford it. Are you simple?
00:32:15It's important to live beyond your means, or banks don't respect you.
00:32:19How many people have you really invited?
00:32:21Eight.
00:32:23To 12.
00:32:26Well, we are not moving to another villa.
00:32:30SHOUTING
00:32:35SHOUTING
00:32:42Mother went about settling us in again.
00:32:46Our neat little house in Bournemouth seemed several lifetimes away.
00:32:55SHOUTING
00:33:06Exciting.
00:33:08Ah, Mrs. Dallas. This is Lugaretzia.
00:33:10She, uh, she comes with the house.
00:33:35SHOUTING
00:33:47She has a bad stomach.
00:34:01Very old.
00:34:05Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding...
00:34:19I'm going to kill her. Put her out of her misery.
00:34:22No, poor woman. She's obviously suffering.
00:34:24What's the matter with her?
00:34:26Digestion. She gets these nasty little...
00:34:28Don't tell us.
00:34:30Her feet now apparently. Don't say anything. There's no-one else available.
00:34:34I told you it was a good idea to move the furniture could be a little more
00:34:45sturdy perhaps did I ever tell you about the last opera we had in Corfu
00:35:15no oh yes it was one of those traveling opera companies performing Tosca with a
00:35:25leading lady who was very well-developed now in the final act as
00:35:31you probably know she throws herself to her death from the battlements of a
00:35:34castle well on the first night it seems the stagehands had forgotten to put
00:35:39anything for her to land on so she fell with a huge crash and then proceeded
00:35:44groaning quite loudly while her lover was singing about how sad he was that
00:35:50she was dead should we help him back on no I think that might put him off the
00:35:58lady was very very upset understandably so the next night the stagehands made
00:36:04sure that they put a huge pile of mattresses for her to land on but her
00:36:09landing was now so soft and springy that while the whole cast was singing
00:36:15away about her tragic death she the lady in question reappeared two or three
00:36:21times above the battlements do you make these up no nothing ever goes according
00:36:26to plan in Larry's friends I think mother's a bit worried about them
00:36:56when is lunch
00:37:11look a tortoise I watched it hatching another tortoise splendid please go and
00:37:18find Larry his friends are driving me mad
00:37:26after weeks of searching I found the perfect trees covered exquisite blossom
00:37:38I started to paint a masterpiece and when I returned the next day I found all
00:37:48the blossom that fall into the ground that's the wind for you I swore I'd
00:37:53never paint again but slowly I'm recovering my nerves and and sometime I
00:38:03will start to paint again how'd you go kid I'm working
00:38:18Oh
00:38:26far from being the ordinary charming people that Larry had promised his
00:38:31friends turned out to be the most extraordinary eccentrics it was like
00:38:35observing a whole new species
00:38:48Oh
00:38:50Oh
00:39:10Larry's too busy mating with Nancy of course there's going to be a war that's
00:39:19what dictators do in their board with oppressing their own people is Hitler a
00:39:23dictator thought he was a painter so I'll be all bad painter and decorator
00:39:29Europe is like a big fat model lying in the Sun planting to explode you bloody
00:39:34poets not make sense on purpose I mean what was that at least the Italian
00:39:38fascists are spending all their money on nice uniforms Germany's become one great
00:39:42bomb-making no that's just to give everybody something to do it's all about
00:39:46you know nothing you're Humpty Dumpty ah Humpty Dumpty now thank you at last
00:39:51real poetry simple free of cliches you could learn from it Humpty Dumpty sat on
00:39:58the wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall now I mean that could clearly be about
00:40:03Humpty as Hitler I don't think that's right I think the more accurate analogy
00:40:08there what might be some hickory dickory dock well I mean if you're going to do
00:40:13come on Larry it's not like you not to have an opinion no it's not we're cut
00:40:19off from the world here I suppose we've grown rather fond of our glorious
00:40:24isolation actually Larry thinks the world's cut off from him rather than the
00:40:29other way around I do now you mentioned it yes I do fine but you may wake up and
00:40:34find there's no England to go back to I'm sure common sense will prevail why
00:40:39never does in this family you'll find that hickory dickory dock is the mouse
00:40:45is going up the clock that's us being mouse being England it used to be could
00:40:51you just spit it out I lie and is now reduced to a little mouse
00:40:55tricking its way at the top and that that that's us being chased
00:41:08I'll open the windows please don't open the window I'm allergic to fresh air
00:41:25just breathe
00:41:35Jerry you're starting to look like a wild animal thanks have you ever stopped
00:41:41a bat no it's harder than it looks if this works I'm gonna do Larry isn't it
00:41:50enough just to look at them in the wild I like having them around me making
00:41:55noises smelling you're right it's just like a family
00:42:02did you hear the others talking about what's happening in Germany
00:42:07yes
00:42:13seems so safe here
00:42:25oh
00:42:56good morning
00:43:08what's he doing usual he was doing it at 2 a.m. this morning with a torch he
00:43:15says the day shift is totally unlike the night shift to warn you the wild and the
00:43:19woolly are stirring indoors and I don't mean Jerry's animals Larry you might
00:43:24encourage your friend mr. Miller to experiment with pajamas Henry sees
00:43:29clothes at the last refuge of the bourgeoisie
00:43:35what's this three two
00:43:45perhaps it's just as well your father didn't leave to see how you all turned
00:43:48out extraordinarily insensitive of you I think you nagged him to death we're
00:43:54actually rather well-adjusted well I am oh I think I may have ever celebrated
00:44:02the God of wine last night Larry don't move
00:44:12Oh
00:44:42you idiot they sting you it's excruciating and then you die
00:44:53oh no he's out of control he's driven my friends away I know that's such a
00:45:12shame but what should I do post him back to England and a big package with his
00:45:19head sticking out at one end ridiculous don't tell me what to be you're my
00:45:23child not my husband you are not driving this slightly ramshackle vehicle
00:45:28you're in the back being driven eating chocolates well I think it's about to
00:45:35crash well we'll see
00:45:38Gerald? this is Splitter. Hello Gerald. hello all right thank you mrs. Dowell I'm
00:46:02sure Gerald and I will be just fine
00:46:08right good let me tell you something about me I believe in the building
00:46:29blocks of education there are no shortcuts there is any repetition rule
00:46:33learning and hard work let's start with some basic mathematics page one number
00:46:50one
00:47:07when you've done that move on to page 83 you work through those
00:47:14hello I'm Margo what a pleasant surprise I'd offer to teach you too only you look
00:47:33like you know everything already can I have a biscuit no do call out if you need
00:47:41anything I might just do that
00:47:45she loves being in the garden does she?
00:48:13chatting? shall I write a story? a long story? good idea
00:48:30Larry wrestled with the Jaguar the animals in sizes inches from the tall
00:48:38fleshy man's soft girlish skin Larry glanced over to desperately see his
00:48:45brother Gerald having rather more success tackling the massive boa
00:48:49constrictor wrapped around his mother's waist like a rope of iron he tore at the
00:48:55creature with a knife careful not to hurt it Gerald finally sent the
00:49:00constrictor packing then turned to his older brother who was whimpering with
00:49:04fear cornered by the Jaguar Jerry your stuffed bat smells even worse than
00:49:09everything else if that were possible please get rid of it
00:49:12where's Peter? he sent me some work I'm working very hard I think he might be
00:49:19somewhere with Margo
00:49:22you can see that this essentially loamy soil gives way gives way further the
00:49:38scarf to a more clay stratum the characteristic corfiot alluvium
00:49:45there are publications on the subject if you're interested Baldwin's
00:49:53Dictionary of Soil gives all types from A to Z and all letters in between
00:50:15oh no not at my age we get all the fun we need from sitting down with a ball of
00:50:34lovely wool
00:50:52when's Margo coming back? don't know mother took her shopping how do you
00:50:59smell scimitar?
00:51:04expect me to read that drivel when you finished it
00:51:17all right stop scribbling by tomorrow I want you to have written out all your
00:51:21tables eight times well tell mummy and big bro you won't work
00:51:28have you packed off to that boarding school in Surrey they've no doubt got
00:51:31their mind up for you
00:51:36where's your annoying friend? gone. you're not still writing that novel? no it's a birthday
00:51:44list. thank God two obsessive writers in the family that's all we need what do
00:51:50you want then? I've done a list for each person and here's yours
00:51:58a boat? I'm not allowed to use the sea cow. you could make me one. would you know how
00:52:05much time that would take? you know so much about boats. oh all right I've
00:52:12decided that you should have a birthday party Jerry small but distinguished
00:52:15gathering ten people you'll like best. thank you Larry. pleasure I'll get mother
00:52:20to arrange it
00:52:28not only I but each family member invited ten people to the party
00:52:37unfortunately we didn't all invite the same ten the result was that mother on
00:52:43the eve of the party suddenly discovered we were going to have not ten guests but
00:52:47fifty. Larry suggested the puppies be called Whittle and Puke and the name
00:52:55stuck
00:53:18when we got married I asked my wife how many children do you want? she says two. so I gives her two
00:53:24then I gets her sewed up
00:53:31thirteen years old huh? who would believe it
00:53:41right
00:54:17here we go
00:55:17can we get this over with?
00:55:39he doesn't like it. I do I love it. get it into the water so we can go back to bed
00:55:53she needs a name before we can launch. Johnny Roger can I go now? no something more
00:55:58interesting. Arbuckle? Whittle? the bum trinket. don't be rude Larry. I name this boat the
00:56:16Whittle bum trinket
00:56:28I told you the mast was too big. he'll have to go of course. yeah. who? where? Peter. he and Margo
00:56:43were obviously becoming too fond of each other. look I hardly want him as a relative
00:56:50you can't blame him for wanting to. yes I don't want to hear your current word for
00:56:54thank you. I think it's too short now
00:57:24I'll shoot him if he tries to come back. a little bit perhaps. you've got to be firm under these circumstances. family honour isn't at stake.
00:57:55I'll put the word out. they'll stop him at the docks if he tries to get back in. I have nothing more to say to you. I hate you. you've destroyed my life. Margo darling I would love you to find someone but I fear Peter was not the one. what do you know? I know how to protect my family. you do not. yes I do. I'm staying in my
00:58:24bedroom. I don't want to see anyone. somebody's been pinching things from the
00:58:35sea cow. not Aunt Corfu. who? a fisherman presumably. I'm worried about Margo. she's been in her room for nearly a week.
00:58:46she's never refused food before. I saw Jerry with a tray. well yes she takes it from him.
00:58:54perhaps Peter wouldn't have been so bad. he was appalling. yes he was wasn't he? he's
00:58:59threatened to come back and snatch Margo away apparently.
00:59:02how romantic.
00:59:10what's happening? Margo's done something silly. where is she? Margo. oh thank god. I thought you'd done something terrible to yourself. someone's shot Peter. everyone shut up.
00:59:36I need to check Peter's all right. what? I wasn't shooting at him. it was my verbal warning device.
01:00:07did you expect nobody would hear? I'm protecting the family's assets from
01:00:25those fishermen in case they were out there. I don't even have to get out of
01:00:31bed you see. look shall I demonstrate? no. no you madman. they're too far away to get badly
01:00:41hurt. animals and explosions all day. bloody great 12-gun salute in the middle of the
01:00:46night. there's eccentricity and then there's stupidity.
01:01:01do you have to kill quite so many? you said I was allowed to hunt. poor innocent creatures.
01:01:20it's the hunting season. they expect to be shot. how is she? still sad. reading poetry. who?
01:01:31um Tennyson. oh how are we going to jolter out of this? don't expect me to help. I believe in free love.
01:01:36no you don't you silly boy. why doesn't she stop moping around disguise herself as a peasant and
01:01:40fly into Peter's arms? thank you Ligretta. it's horrible. I'm so sorry that Roger bit you.
01:01:49I had no idea wild boar was so big. do be careful. it's perfectly safe unless they charge. you can
01:01:57always vault over it. vault over a charging boar? why not? oh well do come with me today to the
01:02:04marshes and demonstrate. I don't profess to be a hairy chested man of action Liz. I supply the
01:02:08idea. it's your job to carry them out. you always think the things other people do are simple.
01:02:13they are. he's right Larry. you never seem to put your suggestions into practice. yes are you ever going
01:02:18to actually do anything? fine. my honor's at stake. prepare me a gun. I'm going down to the beach.
01:02:30don't follow me.
01:02:31I didn't think it was going to be this dank. so trickiest of all is what's called the right and left where you make two
01:02:50kills in quick succession first with the right then the left barrel. sounds easy enough.
01:03:01you might want to load it. I know.
01:03:04hold the gun above your head and don't stand up or you'll sink. stay how you are.
01:03:31you've choked the bloody barrels. would you rather I was sucked under? yes.
01:03:40for God's sake get me out of here. hold the gun out for me. forget the guns. save me. I can't reach you unless
01:03:45you give me the end of the gun.
01:04:00I'm going under. I'm going under. it's silly. it's silly all over again.
01:04:05take it. oh God. come on.
01:04:27all right? oh yes. having a wonderful time. good. and on with the hunting.
01:05:05it would be easier if Germany...
01:05:13you want to gather all your children.
01:05:18gather them up and shout at everyone else to keep away.
01:05:26makes you very selfish.
01:05:36how did that go? oh I should ask Larry.
01:05:54don't say a word.
01:05:55was that fun? you seem to be missing a shoe. did you fall in a bog?
01:06:12it's rather windy out there.
01:06:25Margot dear I sometimes wonder if you're quite right. leave me alone.
01:06:38are you back with us now?
01:06:44do I look windswept and interesting at all? no dear.
01:06:49Larry's really hitting the brandy. well he's in shock the poor boy.
01:07:04no not the singing.
01:07:14Larry?
01:07:19now come on. stop being a fool and drink this down at once.
01:07:25you're a horrible old woman and I'm sure I've seen you somewhere before.
01:07:30yes well I put that down to the drink.
01:07:40not that you're so different when you're sober.
01:07:49no.
01:08:05fire! fire! fire!
01:08:09fire! fire!
01:08:11the house is on fire!
01:08:13what's going on? it's not me this time.
01:08:21Larry's on fire!
01:08:29Larry! for heaven's sake wake up!
01:08:31wake up!
01:08:33the room's on fire!
01:08:35you all put it out. I've got a bit of a headache.
01:08:37then pour something on it!
01:08:39pour something on it!
01:08:43brandy you fool!
01:08:45please use it. I've had enough.
01:08:47why did you do that?
01:08:49trying to freeze me to death.
01:08:51oh shut up!
01:08:55oh this is nice.
01:08:57look organdy with puffed sleeves.
01:09:01Henry's written a filthy book.
01:09:03excellent.
01:09:05oh now that is...
01:09:07look at that.
01:09:09telescopic sight. bolt action.
01:09:11great aunt Hermione wonders how you all are.
01:09:13mother?
01:09:15I'm buying a chimpanzee.
01:09:17no you're not.
01:09:19she claims doctors don't hold out much hope for her.
01:09:21have they ever?
01:09:23so she was doubtful about us rushing off to Corfu but after the winter they've had she thinks it wasn't so stupid after all.
01:09:27a chipmunk then?
01:09:29no. oh lord.
01:09:31what?
01:09:33oh no.
01:09:35she's devised a warm climate.
01:09:37she's coming to stay.
01:09:39no! it's grim enough being shown Lugaretsi's latest suppurating wound with I think a great aunt here dying all over the place.
01:09:45write and tell her. there's no room.
01:09:47I can't. I told her the last letter. what a big villa we have.
01:09:49I've got it.
01:09:51I've got it. I'll write to her and tell her that you've died.
01:09:53Larry!
01:09:55fine.
01:09:57we'll move to a smaller villa.
01:09:59which will also force jungle boy here to get rid of some of his bloody animals.
01:10:03I've got less trouble than your silly friends.
01:10:05oh yes?
01:10:07anyway you're an animal too. let's get rid of you first.
01:10:09it is too big this house.
01:10:11the stairs are really tiring.
01:10:13children we are not moving again.
01:10:33we moved in and the bats that were living there moved out.
01:10:45as Margot said typically a change is as good as a feast.
01:11:33I'm sorry we didn't believe you when you said you got seasick.
01:11:53beer oh dear.
01:11:55will you survive?
01:11:57excuse me.
01:11:59hello.
01:12:01stop.
01:12:03I think.
01:12:05oh jeez.
01:12:07how are you doing spirit?
01:12:09feeling better?
01:12:11fuck me.
01:12:13fuck me.
01:12:15fuck me.
01:12:17fuck me.
01:12:19fuck me.
01:12:21fuck me.
01:12:23fuck me.
01:12:25perhaps we should have come by car.
01:12:43I adore this place.
01:12:47look away Margot dear.
01:12:49beer.
01:12:51are you all right?
01:12:53no I'm fine.
01:12:55yes no I'm very good.
01:12:57look at those gulls flying over.
01:12:59yes yes.
01:13:01all the nice gulls love a sailor.
01:13:03do you know I should like to be buried here?
01:13:07oh make up your mind.
01:13:13I'm afraid I heard on the wireless yesterday that Germany is...
01:13:17stop.
01:13:19let's not spoil it.
01:13:21let's not spoil it.
01:13:25son of a bitch fish.
01:13:39the magic of the island had settled over us as gently and clingingly as pollen.
01:13:43each day had a tranquility and timelessness about it.
01:13:47we wished that it would never end.
01:13:51we wished that it would never end.
01:14:21we wished that it would never end.
01:14:51where have you been?
01:14:57how do you mean?
01:14:59you've been gone for two days.
01:15:01you knew where I was?
01:15:03no. where?
01:15:05out and about.
01:15:07please.
01:15:09no more long trips.
01:15:11how will you ever put on shoes again?
01:15:13and be normal?
01:15:15oh do talk to me.
01:15:17you are not a wild animal.
01:15:19open up shoes.
01:15:21you're back. what have you brought this time? a woolly mammoth?
01:15:23did you feed everyone?
01:15:25yes. more or less.
01:15:27oh aren't they sweet.
01:15:31why do you bring all these animals back?
01:15:33they're revolting.
01:15:35golly. what's them?
01:15:37magpies.
01:15:39what you got to do with them bastards?
01:15:41magpies.
01:15:43magpies.
01:15:45magpies.
01:15:47magpies.
01:15:49no. magpies.
01:15:51mag and pies.
01:15:53mag
01:15:55pies.
01:15:57mag
01:15:59and pies.
01:16:01what have you brought now?
01:16:03mag and pies.
01:16:05put them back where you found them Gerry.
01:16:07I can't. their mother won't take them.
01:16:09I'll train them. it'll be all right.
01:16:13I could easily shoot them if you'd like.
01:16:15no.
01:16:27come on Mark.
01:16:29you know you want to.
01:16:31no. change my mind.
01:16:33too old.
01:16:35I haven't got a figure for swimming.
01:16:37don't be ridiculous woman.
01:16:39come on.
01:16:41if not now when?
01:16:43won't be here forever.
01:16:57you all right?
01:16:59you can't wear that.
01:17:01looks like it was made in 1920.
01:17:03that's all they had.
01:17:05sorry. I should have popped over to Paris.
01:17:07you look splendid.
01:17:09don't forget to shake the fish out when you come out of the water.
01:17:11shut up. this is my moment.
01:17:13I don't want you spoiling it.
01:17:15the creature is going in.
01:17:17all right.
01:17:29here.
01:17:31give me your hand.
01:17:33you're all right.
01:17:35the bum monster.
01:17:37somebody hasn't seen the sun for a long time.
01:17:39oh my god.
01:17:41don't be embarrassed.
01:17:43I am a doctor.
01:17:45although I am off duty at the moment.
01:18:05you should be proud of yourself.
01:18:07not so sure.
01:18:11who was it who said
01:18:13if you can control your family
01:18:15you've gone terribly wrong somewhere?
01:18:19Aristotle.
01:18:21no.
01:18:23was it me?
01:18:25yes.
01:18:31my mother
01:18:33steered her vessel full of strange
01:18:35progeny through the stormy seas of life
01:18:37with great skill.
01:18:39as Larry rightly pointed out
01:18:41we can be proud of the way
01:18:43we brought her up.
01:19:05oh that's
01:19:07sodding boy.
01:19:11and that
01:19:13was that.
01:19:15no.
01:19:17I think you're old enough
01:19:19to sort yourselves out.
01:19:21they've made an awful mess
01:19:23of your papers.
01:19:25those bloody
01:19:27birds.
01:19:29no more
01:19:31wildlife!
01:19:33don't!
01:19:35don't!
01:19:55here it is.
01:20:11what a pleasure.
01:20:17I'm afraid I have some bad news
01:20:19mrs. Durrell.
01:20:21what's Gerry done?
01:20:23no nothing.
01:20:25I think you should return
01:20:27to England with your family.
01:20:29has Larry been annoying people again?
01:20:31Britain and Greece will shortly be engulfed
01:20:33by war. if you leave it too late
01:20:35you'll have grave difficulties
01:20:37getting back.
01:20:39can't bear
01:20:41to tell Gerry.
01:20:53has Leslie
01:20:55finally shot someone?
01:20:57we have to leave the island.
01:21:07right.
01:21:09bad luck Theo.
01:21:11you get Gerry's animals to look after.
01:21:13yes.
01:21:15no I will do it.
01:21:17Theo!
01:21:23so sorry Gerry.
01:21:25we have to go home.
01:21:53I feel like
01:21:55I say goodbye
01:21:57to my own people.
01:21:59I feel
01:22:01you belong to me.
01:22:03I'm coming back
01:22:05to you.
01:22:07honestly.
01:22:09you're coming back
01:22:11honestly?
01:22:13goodbye.
01:22:15I'm coming back.
01:22:17I'm coming back.
01:22:19I'm coming back.
01:22:21goodbye.
01:22:23bye.
01:22:25goodbye.
01:22:27I'll miss you.
01:22:29hey.
01:22:31hey.
01:22:33no more shootings for you now.
01:22:35there's a war on.
01:22:37I'm coming back.
01:22:39I'll miss you.
01:22:43what do you want?
01:22:45what do you want?
01:22:47what do you want?
01:22:49what do you want?
01:22:51I'm actually staying
01:22:53I'm actually staying
01:22:55I'm sorry.
01:22:57I'm sorry.
01:22:59I'm sorry.
01:23:01I'm sorry.
01:23:03goodbye Ligresia.
01:23:05And good luck with all your illnesses.
01:23:28Right, I've scribbled down some essential reading.
01:23:32Nothing, you know, too arduous.
01:23:36But I think...
01:23:40the most important thing is, um...
01:23:46Well...
01:24:06I'm sorry. I don't mean to cry.
01:24:29Theo! Don't forget to take your medicine!
01:24:35And don't forget to feed Quasimodo!
01:24:37And Spiro! You know, Eleko likes fresh sardines!
01:24:41Don't worry! Everything's under control!
01:24:44What is Eleko?
01:24:46The huge, angry seagull.
01:24:48You'll need some thick gloves. Good luck.
01:25:06So when are we coming back?
01:25:10Soon, Jerry, soon.
01:25:12After you've had a bit of an education.
01:25:14So what have I just had?
01:25:17Um... I'm not sure.
01:25:26So is it downhill from now on?
01:25:30Yes, I think it is.
01:25:31Shall I fire off a ceremonial ten-gun salute?
01:25:34No, absolutely not.
01:25:37You know what, Jerry? They were all right, your stories.
01:25:41Not terribly flattering.
01:25:44But good.
01:25:50It was nice to be all together.
01:25:52Yes, it was.
01:25:56What a rude man!
01:25:58What?
01:26:01Description of passengers.
01:26:03One travelling circus and staff.
01:26:06Odd thing to write.
01:26:11Some people really are peculiar.
01:26:31Back in England, Mother insisted I went to school,
01:26:34despite my protestation that I liked being half-educated.
01:26:39You were so much more surprised at everything when you were ignorant.
01:27:00© BF-WATCH TV 2021
01:27:30© BF-WATCH TV 2021
01:28:00© BF-WATCH TV 2021