DRAG ME TO DINNER S01E05 (2023)

  • 2 months ago

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Transcript
00:00Okay, you guys, the shows have been great so far, but for this next one, I have a few
00:11notes.
00:12You really need to pull it together.
00:13Hanifah is crushing it.
00:14Bianca, hello.
00:15You need to calm it down.
00:17Your face looks like a rabid raccoon.
00:20Can you look more like a family-friendly raccoon?
00:22Murray, the queens are towering over you.
00:25For this next show, I would like you to please be taller.
00:27David, you're too handsome.
00:29It's distracting.
00:31I'm supposed to be the good-looking one, especially when you smile.
00:34So, calm it down, all right?
00:36Have a good show, everybody.
00:38That was rough.
00:40To be fair, Murray.
00:41What?
00:42You could be taller.
00:43I take Viagra?
00:44Come join our parties, the living room size.
00:45♪ Come join our parties, the living room side ♪
00:50♪ Where two teams of drag queens compete for the prize ♪
00:55♪ Who won't need the window? ♪
00:59♪ Magnificent, isn't it? ♪
01:03Hello, Mrs., Mrs., and Mxs.
01:07I'm your host, Murray Hill.
01:09Some people call me a living legend,
01:11but I think they're just surprised I'm still alive.
01:13Showbiz.
01:15Tonight, two teams of your favorite drag queens
01:17will go head-to-head to throw
01:19dragtastic theme parties for our judges.
01:22The judges will be focusing on design and decor,
01:25food and drink, and entertainment and overall vibes
01:28to decide which team is greater.
01:31So let's meet tonight's teams.
01:34Hello, I'm model-actress-mattress Willem.
01:37Hi, my name's Alaska.
01:40Hi, my name's Alaska.
01:42We produce podcasts for LGBTQIA plus people.
01:48Hey, I'm Manila Luzon,
01:50and I am here to drag your ass to dinner.
01:53I am Latrice Royale,
01:55the large and in charge, chunky yet funky,
01:57and we are serving up some chicken, baby.
02:03I'm a good time gal.
02:04She's the international recording artist.
02:06But first time in the kitchen.
02:08I think there's creative juices flowing all over the place.
02:11So many juices, dripping, dripping.
02:14I'm confident that we have what it takes.
02:17We are not going to poison anyone today.
02:20I hope they have auto-tune in that kitchen,
02:22because I don't know how Manila's gonna make it.
02:25I didn't come here to make friends.
02:27I came here to make dinner.
02:29Come on out, ladies!
02:34Ladies, come on out!
02:38Come on!
02:44Wow! Gorgeous! Great to see you.
02:46Latrice, do you plan on using a secret ingredient tonight?
02:50I absolutely do.
02:52But if I tell you, I have to kill you.
02:54Ha, ha, ha! Showbiz.
02:56Manila, what do you want your drag-me-to-dinner legacy to be?
03:00None of my friends got food poisoning.
03:02But my enemies...
03:04Uh-oh. I don't know.
03:05Ooh, you are coming to play!
03:07Alaska, would you say you're good at throwing dinner parties?
03:10No, but I'm really good at throwing tantrums.
03:13Can we see one right now?
03:20Willem, how do you think you have the upper hand on the other team?
03:23Honey, it's all hands on deck.
03:25Whoa!
03:27Two upper hands.
03:29So what do you think of your opposition tonight?
03:32I think the ladies look gorgeous, and I hope you win.
03:35I don't believe you.
03:36Ha, ha, ha!
03:38The shade is starting early.
03:40Wow.
03:41And of course, no dinner party would be complete without a theme.
03:44And here to talk about tonight's,
03:46please welcome resident expert and the life of the party,
03:49David Burka.
03:51Ooh!
03:56Hey, Murray.
03:57Hello, ladies.
03:59Hi.
04:00Order in the court!
04:02Because tonight's theme is...
04:06divorce party.
04:07Ooh!
04:09And keep in mind, our judges will be paying attention
04:12to food and drink, design and decor,
04:15and entertainment and overall vibe.
04:18While some might say divorce is no reason to throw a party,
04:21I disagree.
04:22Throw a damn party!
04:24So make a strong cocktail
04:26while reminiscing about your ex's flaws.
04:28Indulge in your favorite comfort foods
04:31while signing up for dating apps.
04:33After all, you deserve happiness.
04:35If you feel like you want to give up, don't worry.
04:37You'll both have a handy helper to assist you.
04:39What?
04:40All right, ladies,
04:41are you ready to join the first Queens Club
04:43and try to impress our judges?
04:45Yes.
04:46Because if you do,
04:47then fabulous prizes await you,
04:49like these.
04:50A baby bottle full of babies.
04:52A nut sack.
04:54Tuck tape.
04:55Bidet Davis.
04:56A bathtub of butter.
04:58Oh, Dehairy Styles.
05:0055 gallons of lube.
05:02A high-five from Bianca Del Rio herself.
05:05All the crackers you can carry.
05:07And the grandest prize of them all,
05:10the glorious Golden Grater.
05:13Because one team is great,
05:15but the other is greater.
05:18Okay.
05:19Are you ready to get this party started?
05:21Yeah.
05:22Start the clock and release the queens!
05:24Get out of my way!
05:25Oh, excuse me, bitch.
05:29You have 90 minutes to finish the challenge.
05:31First thing first, girl,
05:32let's change these shoes, girl.
05:34Because, girl, who cooks in high-heel shoes?
05:36We have drag royalty...
05:38Oh, yes.
05:39...in the kitchen today.
05:41That's how my husband wants it,
05:43me barefoot in the kitchen.
05:45And pregnant?
05:46Latrice and Miley.
05:47They're very popular queens.
05:49They met on TV,
05:51and they forged a friendship.
05:53They're called Latrilla when they're together.
05:55Latrilla?
05:56Yeah, that's how close they are.
05:57They got their own name when they're together.
05:59We could get down to business.
06:00Alaska and Willem,
06:01also very, very, very close friends.
06:04They were in a girl group
06:05called the Triple A Girls with Courtney Act.
06:08Oh, wow.
06:09And they also...
06:10Because they're singers.
06:12You know what, David?
06:13You could always use an extra hand in the kitchen.
06:16Oh!
06:17Be careful.
06:18There's a lighting fixture above you.
06:20Oh, I'm used to having balls in my face.
06:22This is fine.
06:23I don't want nothing less
06:24coming out that kitchen over there.
06:26Not a damn thing.
06:27Divorce, divorce, okay?
06:28Ever been to a divorce party?
06:29Yeah, mine, about six times.
06:30Oh!
06:31Where would you be celebrating a divorce?
06:33At your divorce lawyer's office?
06:34That's where you go,
06:35like a boardroom kind of setting.
06:37What if we, like, cut the room in half,
06:39his and his, or hers and hers?
06:41Yeah, one side of the room needs to be very luxe and fancy.
06:45Looking like a million bucks.
06:46Yeah, and then the other half of the room
06:48will be, like, what he's left with,
06:50and it'll be, like...
06:51Paltry.
06:52I want to take the drywall.
06:53Like, I want to clean him out, honey.
06:55Oh, yeah.
06:56I want everything.
06:57Okay, my famous divorce day
06:58is Ivanka Trump.
06:59Oh, yeah.
07:00I'm gonna be Elizabeth Taylor.
07:02What we cooking, though?
07:03Divorces sometimes are what?
07:05Messy.
07:06And bitter.
07:07Bitter.
07:08So let's do a lemon pepper roasted chicken dish.
07:10I love me some lemon pepper.
07:12Lemon pepper.
07:13Mm-hmm.
07:14What are they doing?
07:15I don't know.
07:16We need to crack down,
07:17because they're already ahead of us.
07:18This challenge is timed, David.
07:20I know.
07:21I don't know if they quite realize it.
07:23We don't have all day.
07:24Oh.
07:25So I'm thinking, like,
07:27some vegetables.
07:28A little kudzu tray?
07:29Yes.
07:30With dip,
07:31because he dipped out on the marriage.
07:34We got to shuck some corn.
07:35Corn?
07:36Corn?
07:37Get the corn so we can shuck it.
07:38Corn?
07:39I thought of that first.
07:40Why, I order.
07:41I don't think Alaska has moved yet.
07:45She has sat there for the last 20 minutes.
07:48Yeah.
07:49For dessert, I'm thinking a divorce cake.
07:51Something to celebrate a new beginning.
07:55I'm here for it.
07:56Oh.
07:57Divorce.
07:58A split.
07:59Banana split.
08:00What about a custard?
08:01Oh, yeah.
08:02A joint custody agreement.
08:03Pies.
08:04Don't get mad.
08:05Get everything.
08:06Bagel bites.
08:07You're good at this.
08:08I have this idea for a drink.
08:10Okay.
08:11What is it?
08:12It's straight liquor.
08:13Good.
08:14When you're going through a divorce,
08:15you need something to numb the pain.
08:17A great mocktail would be, like,
08:19something with fiber,
08:20because you want to be ready for new opportunities
08:22now that you're divorced,
08:23and the more fiber...
08:24Bottoming.
08:25Yeah.
08:26So, fibertini with some tropical flair,
08:28because, you know,
08:29sometimes you need a getaway after a divorce.
08:31I found some diplomas.
08:32Oh.
08:33So tall and high.
08:34Yeah.
08:35We need some...
08:36We need some help.
08:37We need some...
08:38We're ready for helpers to rock!
08:41Oh!
08:42Look what I found in the closet.
08:44Oh.
08:45Oh, a big, strong man with a big...
08:47What's up?
08:48I brought you some...
08:49Hi.
08:50Hi, Gustavo.
08:51Yeah.
08:52These are so we don't dirty our outfits.
08:53What do you think will look good on me,
08:54other than you?
08:56Oh.
08:57Mm.
08:58Oh, I like him.
08:59Look at those shoulders.
09:00Mm-mm.
09:01Mm-mm.
09:02I don't know.
09:03I mean, go on a date with him,
09:04but I wouldn't want to spend the rest of the life.
09:05Mm-mm.
09:06Okay, fine.
09:07Fine, fine.
09:08Ooh, what about this one?
09:09His mom is in the picture?
09:10That's not his mother.
09:11That's his dog.
09:12Swipe away from the...
09:13It's so much easier with the gays.
09:14We just go grind or suck it, lick it, touch it,
09:16then move on.
09:17Oh, God.
09:18Queens, you have one hour remaining.
09:21What?
09:22What?
09:23One hour.
09:24One hour?
09:25Before your divorces are finalized and time is up,
09:28you need to finish all food and drinks,
09:30decorate for your parties,
09:31and prepare to entertain the judges.
09:33Come on, let's go.
09:35Pick up the pace, ladies.
09:37Yeah, definitely wash this one.
09:38Okay.
09:41They're cooking already.
09:43Uh-oh.
09:44Sometimes...
09:45Oh, oh.
09:46...when you are in a relationship
09:47that you've committed all this time,
09:49Okay, all right.
09:50...money and had to deal with their mother-in-law...
09:53Oh, right.
09:54...sometimes...
09:57I think I might let you just handle the vegetables, Dan,
10:00because you seem to need to get some things out.
10:04I don't see whipped cream in the refrigerator, Willam.
10:07We have to whip it ourselves.
10:08We're about halfway through the challenge,
10:11and Willam and Alaska finally have entered the kitchen.
10:15That's it.
10:16Right on cue.
10:17That doesn't look like whipped cream.
10:18It's getting thicker, it just takes a minute.
10:20You complaining is not gonna make it stiffer.
10:23How about...
10:24I like this one.
10:25Okay, he's hiking, he's outdoorsy, I like it.
10:29Oh.
10:31Oh, my God.
10:33Is that real?
10:35Wow.
10:36Girl.
10:37Oh, my, what's his profile name?
10:40Queens, 45 minutes to go.
10:43What?
10:44I haven't done anything.
10:47We're gonna use this butter,
10:49and you're gonna put this under the skin of the chicken.
10:52Like my last boob job.
10:54Right, so...
10:55Mine's like wearing a butter bra.
10:57I just got my titties done.
11:01Yes.
11:03This is how I look like I'm doing a lot in the kitchen, okay?
11:07This is how you do it, okay?
11:09Oh, I've done so much today.
11:11Don't make this divorce ugly.
11:13Like that wig.
11:15Was I wearing a ring?
11:16You were wearing a ring.
11:18Is it?
11:19Hold on.
11:20Girl, no, you didn't.
11:21No, you know what?
11:22This is a size...
11:23It was a size too big.
11:25Look, look, look.
11:27Oh.
11:28Oh.
11:30Ooh.
11:32Damn.
11:33Okay.
11:34They're never gonna know.
11:35They're never gonna know.
11:36They're never gonna know.
11:37All right.
11:38All those ex-husbands cheating,
11:41lying, running around.
11:44I found extra, um...
11:46Eggs.
11:47So what are you gonna make with that?
11:49A mess.
11:50Oh.
11:51I don't like you very much.
11:54Oh.
11:55Oh, jackpot!
11:56Oh, I wanna try, I wanna try.
11:58Oh, too far, too far.
12:01Are you throwing eggs at us?
12:04Ah!
12:06Clean up in aisle six.
12:08Ooh.
12:09Ah!
12:10Look what they've done.
12:12It's cooking.
12:14Wait.
12:15That's a poached egg.
12:17They just gave us our greatest gift.
12:19It's the first thing we've completed today.
12:21We poached an egg!
12:23Thank you so much for the help.
12:25Take trash and turn it to treasure.
12:27Ladies, 30 minutes remaining.
12:30We're gonna let our guests decorate their own divorce cake.
12:33I think that's like a...
12:34Ooh, that looks good.
12:35Yeah, baby.
12:36Look at that.
12:38Everything bagel bites.
12:39Okay, so you're gonna wanna separate the dough,
12:41and make your marriage.
12:42Uh, I would like a...
12:44Check down, Hulu!
12:45Put it down.
12:46I'll set it.
12:47This pole is sticky.
12:49I've seen them do this on TV shows, on Hulu.
12:53You make the ball.
12:55And then you put the everything seasoning on it.
12:57Do we have an injector?
12:59Okay, I'm gonna wrap the cream cheese
13:01inside the little thingy.
13:02Ooh, what about an egg wash?
13:04Could you guys throw another egg over?
13:06Oh, now he's cute.
13:08Oh, s***, I think I'm dialing him.
13:10Oh, no, no, no.
13:11Hello!
13:12I'm Hanifa.
13:13Put your pants down!
13:14Put your pants down!
13:15Yes!
13:16Sir, I'm not interested.
13:17Yes, yes!
13:18Show us what you're working with.
13:19Show us what you're working with.
13:20Yes!
13:21Why didn't you shut up?
13:22What is wrong with you?
13:23Come on.
13:24Queens, 15 minutes remaining.
13:25What?
13:26Okay.
13:27S***.
13:28We gotta hurry up.
13:29So what I'm doing right now is making
13:30homemade truffle butter.
13:31Write the T and the E first,
13:33because then the letters in the middle just fill in,
13:35and you won't run out of room,
13:36and it won't be truff butter.
13:37Just like Mom used to make.
13:40Okay, Queens.
13:41I'm gonna ask you a trivia question.
13:43Trivia!
13:44It's trivia time!
13:47The first team to shout out the correct answer
13:50will get an extra hand from our resident expert,
13:52David Berka.
13:54And the other team will get some tips
13:56from sous chef, David's aunt.
13:59All right, are you ready for the question, ladies?
14:01Yes.
14:02Okay, here we go.
14:03Which celebrity has had the most divorces to date?
14:08Liz Taylor.
14:09Liz Taylor.
14:10Ja Ja Gabor.
14:11Ja Ja Gabor and Willem, we've got a winner!
14:13Yay!
14:14Nice job.
14:15Uh...
14:16It's time to get a special tip from David.
14:19Hi, David Berka.
14:20Hi, guys.
14:21You're, we're quite behind.
14:22How is your whipped cream doing?
14:24A little thin.
14:25How do we do whipped cream?
14:26Okay, we're gonna whip this up a little bit more,
14:28and you're gonna add a little bit more cream
14:30into this chocolate.
14:32Oh.
14:33No, not in the, not in the...
14:34In that?
14:35In that.
14:36A little bit more.
14:37How'd you do that?
14:38Well, I held, I held the bowl,
14:40so it's nice and, um, stable.
14:43Stable.
14:44Yeah, it used to be stable.
14:46Do I have a gate?
14:47Never fear!
14:48Sous chef is here!
14:50Uh-oh.
14:51It's sous chef.
14:53How about I cut some pears?
14:54Please do.
14:55But don't cut yourself.
14:56Yeah, oh, yeah.
14:57No, I'm good, I'm good at this.
14:59Adequacy!
15:00Adequacy!
15:01Adequacy!
15:02Adequacy!
15:03Adequacy!
15:04Adequacy!
15:05Adequacy!
15:06Ahh!
15:07Ahh!
15:08My fingers!
15:09Oh, my fingers!
15:10Ahh!
15:11My fingers!
15:12Ahh!
15:13Ahh!
15:14Ahh!
15:15Ahh!
15:16If you do it within 15 minutes,
15:19I heard they can reattach it.
15:20It's five minutes remaining.
15:22Okay, okay, hold on, hold on, hold on.
15:26You gotta be kidding me!
15:28Is the chicken done?
15:29Is the chicken done?
15:30Please tell me the chicken...
15:31It's gonna be done enough, okay.
15:33It's gonna be, okay.
15:34Unmarried, at my age?
15:35at my age, what am I supposed to do?
15:40All the corn!
15:41All the corn!
15:42Okay, so for the mocktail,
15:44a couple glugs of peach juice,
15:46a little bit of almond milk,
15:48a little bit of Easy Poop.
15:52Okay, queens, you must be inside your dining room
15:55when the curtains are closed.
15:57And they are closing in 30 seconds.
16:01I really lost track of time.
16:03Hurry, get the truffle butter!
16:05Get the truffle butter!
16:07Oh, f*** the cake!
16:08The cake!
16:09Oh, wow, look at this banana split.
16:11I might eat this.
16:13Oh!
16:14We're gonna lose this show just like I lost Stanley.
16:17And I gotta be aware, I gotta be on the table.
16:19Ten!
16:21Oh, you're on a break?
16:22The vegetables!
16:23Eight!
16:24Somebody get me a cocktail glass!
16:26Seven!
16:27Six!
16:28Five!
16:29Exotic!
16:30Four!
16:31Three!
16:32Two!
16:33One!
16:34Manila, come on!
16:35What's up, queens?
16:37How did that happen?
16:39She did something down there.
16:42I can't take much more of this.
16:44Well, folks, those divorce papers have officially been served.
16:47Queens, I hope you're ready to host the judges
16:49because it's party time!
16:57Drag me to dinner
17:01This is Drag Me to Dinner,
17:02where you don't eat half, you eat everything.
17:05We're about to celebrate the end of love.
17:07But before that, let me introduce to you three things I love.
17:11Our judges.
17:12Our first judge is an actress who has graced the Broadway stages
17:16and makes my heart melt.
17:18It's Hanifah Wood!
17:20Oh, you look beautiful tonight.
17:21Thank you, Mary, I'm excited for tonight.
17:23Woo-hoo!
17:24Our next judge will need a knee replacement soon
17:27because she's been on them so much.
17:29Bianca Del Rio!
17:31Aw, thank you, Mary.
17:32And no need to judge me.
17:33Everybody knows that I'm very religious.
17:36Well, you are holy.
17:39He's hosted the Oscars, and he's still yinning out gold tonight.
17:42It's Neil Patrick Harris!
17:44Thank you so much.
17:45Wow, Murray Hill, you have never looked different.
17:50Okay.
17:51Head backsta...
17:52Oh, I love this.
17:53I love this.
17:55You gotta laugh at my joke.
17:56All right.
17:58All right, kids.
17:59Head backstage.
18:00Go meet David.
18:01You guys gotta go to a party.
18:02Get out of here.
18:03Get out of here.
18:04Let's go.
18:05Let's go.
18:06Let's go.
18:07Divorce.
18:08And now it's time to go to our first party of the night,
18:10Latrice Royale and Manila Luzon in The Better Half.
18:17Ooh.
18:28Girl!
18:30I think we got it.
18:31Okay, so we just need to wait for our people to come.
18:34Maybe, uh...
18:35Maybe.
18:36Maybe they'll be single.
18:37Maybe you might have a little singlehood or something.
18:39Ooh!
18:40Can you get the door?
18:46Okay.
18:47Okay.
19:17Welcome, everyone, to our divorce party.
19:22Yes!
19:23We love divorces.
19:25We are welcoming you here to Miss Thang, Thang,
19:29and Miss Thang Divorce Lawyer's Office.
19:32We will make sure we get everything settled
19:35after you've been served.
19:37Should we sit down?
19:39Please sit down.
19:40Oh, yeah.
19:41Before we begin, I would like to invite you
19:45Before we begin, I would love to raise a toast
19:48because we are celebrating my dear good sister Manila's divorce.
19:54And this is the close of one chapter
19:58and the beginning of a new.
20:01Hallelujah!
20:02Ooh!
20:05She got the big D.
20:08Divorce.
20:09Divorce.
20:10Right, right.
20:11Because if the D was that big, you would have never left.
20:15And why did you get a divorce?
20:17He cheated.
20:18No.
20:19At Monopoly.
20:20No!
20:22Was he the banker?
20:23No, he was the little metal dog.
20:25Are you hungry?
20:26Starving!
20:27Starving?
20:28Divorce makes me famished.
20:30Now, under your plates, there are folders.
20:33Oh, wow.
20:35The menu.
20:36It says confidential.
20:37Oh.
20:39Oh.
20:42I see what you did there.
20:44We have half of corns on the cob.
20:46Half corns.
20:47What?
20:48Because, you know, he don't deserve the whole corn.
20:50We have a vegetable platter with dip
20:53because, honey, I'm dipping out of this marriage.
20:56Oh!
20:58And even when the marriage got a little sour,
21:02we have some lemon pepper chicken.
21:05Lemon pepper chicken.
21:07Oh!
21:08Suck it!
21:09That one was a stretch.
21:10Pass.
21:11Yeah.
21:12Wait, I'm sorry.
21:13I have to get the recipe of this chicken.
21:15How did you make it taste this good?
21:17Well, you can watch Hulu and drag me to dinner,
21:20and you can get the recipe there.
21:22But I don't have a subscription to Hulu.
21:24Oh, don't worry.
21:25You can use my password.
21:26Oh.
21:28Damn.
21:29Did they let you do that?
21:31You're fired.
21:32As a pickup point, would you ask for the recipe again?
21:34Mm.
21:35It is good.
21:36Oh, absolutely.
21:37You ready?
21:38Yeah.
21:39Excuse me.
21:40I just have to know what is in this chicken
21:44that is making it taste this good.
21:46You can find the recipe on Hulu,
21:48streaming on drag me to dinner on the next episode.
21:53The next episode.
21:55On this episode.
21:56On this episode.
21:58Why is that?
21:59If you rewind this episode.
22:04Okay, yeah, it's okay.
22:06Oh, my goodness.
22:07I have got to get the recipe to this chicken.
22:10And you can find the recipe while watching Hulu,
22:14drag me to dinner.
22:17Oh, my God.
22:18I keep messing this up.
22:19You did great.
22:20What was wrong with that?
22:21And you can get the recipe now, streaming on Hulu.
22:28She spit on me!
22:31Now, is this?
22:32What kind of seasoning is in the chicken?
22:36If you want the recipe, stream drag me to dinner,
22:40now on Hulu.
22:42Oh, make it stop!
22:45Make it stop!
22:47Ah!
22:49Oh, my God.
22:50In the great tradition of having your cake and eating it too,
22:56we all decorate our own cakes.
22:59Oh!
23:01This is it.
23:02You get a cake!
23:03You get a cake!
23:04You get a cake!
23:07I love this.
23:08Fantastic.
23:09Okay, so, think of this as like the finale to the marriage.
23:14Okay.
23:15Amen.
23:16And up to you to create whatever you want for your future.
23:20Got it.
23:21I'm going on theme.
23:23Yes!
23:24Wow.
23:25Okay, let's see.
23:28That's good cake.
23:32You better decorate that cake fast.
23:35No!
23:36Yes.
23:37You ruined it!
23:40I'm so into this decorating.
23:42Funny that two minutes have gone by
23:43and you haven't mentioned the chicken.
23:48Hurry up, David.
23:49Shut up.
23:50Would you like to see what my cake says?
23:52Please.
23:53Bye-ho.
23:55Oh, I get it!
23:57Dang it!
23:58My cake.
23:59What is it?
24:00It is a bird and it says,
24:01free!
24:04Celebrate your freedom.
24:06That kind of looks,
24:07would you like to see mine?
24:09Best part about marriage is,
24:11I split it in half,
24:12but there's no prenup!
24:15No prenup!
24:18We didn't get a prenup?
24:20Show us your cake.
24:21I was going to do something about divorce,
24:23but I just couldn't stop staring at Bianca's face.
24:27Look at the skin.
24:29Look at the mouth.
24:31The stubble.
24:36What is your cake?
24:38I just drew an X.
24:40It looks like a starfish.
24:42I'm not that creative.
24:44Hanifa!
24:45Yeah!
24:46I was wondering,
24:47where could I get that chicken recipe?
24:52Chicken recipe, please!
24:55Well, when you ask it like that,
24:57I'll let you know where you can get that recipe.
25:00No!
25:01You can find the recipe for our lemon pepper chicken
25:04on Drag Me To Dinner,
25:05now streaming on Hulu.
25:07Yes!
25:09All right.
25:10Our next divorce party is coming right up.
25:14Drag Me To Dinner!
25:17Thank you so much.
25:19That was a great party.
25:20Yeah, we should get divorced.
25:21Totally.
25:22Oh, wait, but then how would we split the dog?
25:24I want a divorce, too.
25:25No, honey, first you have to have a date.
25:27Oh, you're right.
25:30It looks like it's time for tonight's second dinner party,
25:33starring Alaska 5000 and Willem N. X.
25:37Communicate.
25:40Oh, my, my, my.
25:43My, my, my, my, my, my, my.
25:46You do look ravishing tonight.
25:50Willem, or should I call you Ivana?
25:55Oh, hi.
25:56Oh, hi.
25:57Oh, ladies.
25:58We were just getting ready to go.
26:00Oh, I see.
26:01I see.
26:02Oh, I see.
26:03Oh, I see.
26:04Oh, I see.
26:05Oh, I see.
26:06Oh, I see.
26:07Oh, I see.
26:08Oh, ladies.
26:09We weren't expecting company.
26:12My name is Ivana Trump.
26:13And I'm Elizabeth Taylor.
26:16It's so wonderful to see all of you.
26:18Should we pick a side?
26:20No, we have a seating arrangement.
26:22Oh.
26:23As you can see, we are a house divided.
26:26Oh.
26:27This side of the house goes to the women,
26:30because in the divorce, we got all the good things.
26:34And this side of the house belongs to that cheating bastard.
26:39And so that's why it is all trash.
26:43Oh, my God.
26:44You look exactly like my ex-husband.
26:48Please, you sit on that side.
26:50Okay.
26:51I mean, to be fair, Neil, I've said before, you do look dead.
26:55Wait, who drinks booze?
26:56We don't drink booze.
26:57We do.
26:58Over here.
26:59Oh, how embarrassing of me.
27:02Oh, don't feel embarrassed that you got our drinks mixed up.
27:05Oh, please.
27:06You should be embarrassed that you're Liz Taylor with cheek jewelry.
27:09Oh.
27:11Bianca, has anyone ever called you a brick?
27:13Oh, they have.
27:14But they like my kind of brick, because I like to be laid.
27:18Would you introduce the non-alcoholic beverage?
27:22This is what we like to call a fibertini,
27:24because the more fiber in your drink, the less on your dates.
27:30Drink up, David.
27:33It's really thick.
27:36Can we offer anyone a don't get mad, get everything bagel bite?
27:46Bianca?
27:47Sure.
27:48Gustavo, would you mind putting some custard right there?
27:53It's joint custody.
27:56I made it funny.
27:57Joint custody.
27:59Are we going to be eating anything else?
28:01We have truffle batter, home churned.
28:05Wow.
28:07No.
28:09Oh, it's not salted.
28:13What comes after Saturday?
28:15Sunday.
28:19Yeah.
28:20There's some nuts on it.
28:21She's allergic to nuts.
28:23We don't.
28:24But I'm not.
28:25I am.
28:26What kind of Sunday is this?
28:28This is a banana split.
28:30Since you can't eat.
28:31I'm just going to eat a round.
28:32Okay.
28:33Oh, okay.
28:34Never mind.
28:35I was going to give you another option.
28:36Oh, yes.
28:37Okay, okay.
28:38Yeah.
28:39I love the smell.
28:41It's dairy free ice cream, but the whipped cream has dairy in it.
28:48So it cancels each other out?
28:49It does.
28:52Gustavo, would you be so kind as to serve our guests?
28:58Wait, did you bring me the alternative dessert?
29:01I was going to give you an alternative activity.
29:04Oh, there's activities at this party.
29:06So this game is what we like to call pot pot in the pot.
29:16So we're going to do a putting exercise.
29:19This is a left-handed putter.
29:22But we need golf balls.
29:23Do you have any?
29:24Oh, honey, I've got balls.
29:29I have golf balls inside me.
29:34The dazzled golf balls.
29:37Oh, my God.
29:39Thumbs up.
29:40Yes.
29:41Make America gape again.
29:48One, two, three.
29:52Oh, y'all.
29:56Pardon me, I'll be right back.
30:06Oh, hello.
30:09Hello.
30:10Who are you?
30:11My name is Dorothy.
30:14And I'd like to do a monologue about divorce.
30:1936 years, Stanley.
30:2336 years of wishing and hoping and praying and thinking.
30:30And the Merry Christmases and the Happy Valentine's Day
30:35and the Happy Earth Days.
30:38And then you abandoned me, Stanley.
30:43But now I have a piece of you that I will always carry with me.
30:51And it's this, his toupee.
30:56Oh, yes.
30:57Brilliant.
30:58That was something.
31:00Oh, I don't discuss.
31:04It's purple mink.
31:06It's purple mink, Dolores.
31:08You don't earn other men's wives their purple mink coats.
31:13Can I just say this?
31:15I don't normally like Ryan Murphy's productions, but this is fierce.
31:19This is fierce!
31:22535,671 times we made love and you were counting.
31:28When I found out you were counting, it was time 53.
31:32No.
31:3353.
31:34What is this for?
31:3553 times we made love.
31:37What?
31:38In the air.
31:3953.
31:4053 times.
31:41I mean, to be fair, outside of prison, who f----- anybody 53 times?
31:48I will f----- this whole table up!
31:50I will f----- this whole table up!
31:52I will f----- this whole table up!
31:54I will f----- this whole table up!
31:56I will f----- this whole table up!
32:00Best party ever.
32:03This was a party.
32:05If you're not wearing glasses...
32:07Don't you ever show your face around here again.
32:12Merry f----- Christmas.
32:15Lockout.
32:18Which team is taking everything?
32:20Find out next.
32:27Let's get judgy.
32:29Cheers!
32:31Those were some parties.
32:33Yes.
32:34The first party, the better half, with Latrice and Manila.
32:37Neil, what'd you think?
32:38I was disappointed.
32:40We walked into a lawyer's office.
32:43We sat.
32:44It felt staid.
32:45I thought, this is the antithesis of what a party should be.
32:48And then you have these two queens.
32:51They were crushing the improv.
32:54And for me, that is a big win.
32:56Given how talented those two queens were,
32:58I wish that there had been another chapter
33:01where they did a performance of some sort,
33:04sang a song, instead we made cakes.
33:07Have you heard them sing?
33:09These girls from the start, they did a fantastic job
33:12taking everything and splitting it down the middle.
33:14They took a corn on the cob and split it from the top to the bottom,
33:18which is amazing.
33:19Taking a whole chicken and splitting it down the center.
33:22Now we will talk about the chicken.
33:24It was delicious.
33:26That was the main part?
33:27Are you telling us that the chicken is the one thing that you were excited about?
33:32It felt like I was at a real dinner party.
33:34I felt a part of their divorce situation.
33:37I do wish that I would have learned a little bit more.
33:40I wanted more of the receipts.
33:42All right, gang.
33:43That second party was very high concept, very creative.
33:46Alaska 5000 and Willem.
33:48Neil, did you like this party?
33:50I walk into this party, the party is split into two.
33:52I felt like I was in a show that I was suddenly a part of.
33:57This is how I wish all dinner parties would be, Murray.
33:59Alaska and Willem were hilarious.
34:02They each had their own character.
34:04Willem's wig opened up and there were golf balls.
34:08This party, to me, felt so fully realized that it's hard to knock it.
34:12I did enjoy Alaska and her performance.
34:16I mean, she was in it the entire time,
34:18and I believed every second.
34:20However, we're judging the entire thing.
34:23And the bagel bites or whatever,
34:25the bagel balls with that s*** in the inside,
34:28like, f*** you.
34:29I want chicken.
34:31All right, David, what did you think of the food?
34:33The ideas of the joint custard-y battle,
34:37and the banana splits.
34:39I haven't had a banana split in a while.
34:41It was kind of nice.
34:42Did your stomach enjoy the fiber drink?
34:45I think I'm going right now as we speak.
34:48I walked into the party and I went,
34:50all right, here we are.
34:51Now it's Elizabeth Taylor and it's Ivana Trump in the game.
34:55I didn't find it funny.
34:56I think a lot of the attention wasn't on her.
34:59Who?
35:00You.
35:01Oh, honey, please.
35:02You're the bottom with the whistling s***.
35:04The point is...
35:05Oh, God.
35:06Jeez.
35:08I felt that the entire gang was about,
35:10oh, I've got this plan,
35:12and that's what they were doing.
35:14They didn't include everybody else.
35:16Bianca, it wasn't my favorite,
35:18but like you, I enjoyed every moment of the performance.
35:22I'm so conflicted on this party.
35:25Totally, that's what I was saying.
35:27Are we judging this on the quality of the food
35:29or the quality of the party?
35:31This is the toughest one that we've had.
35:34Oh, my God, we're actually finally about to find out
35:37who won!
35:39Ladies, thank you for inviting us into your fake broken homes
35:42and serving us food to get back at your fake exes.
35:45But remember, it's not us, it's you.
35:50The winners of the Glorious Golden Grader are...
36:09Willem and Alaska!
36:13Why?
36:15Why?
36:16Why?
36:17Why?
36:18Thank you so much.
36:19Why?
36:20Thank you so much.
36:21Why?
36:23Thank you.
36:25Congratulations, queens.
36:27You're also leaving with the coveted Glorious Golden Grader.
36:31There's a trophy.
36:32Oh, my God.
36:33Look at the authenticity.
36:35Yes!
36:36Yeah.
36:37How was it working together?
36:38You know, training for this
36:41has been a lifetime journey,
36:43and we just gave 110%,
36:45and we're grateful.
36:47All right, well, ladies, thanks for joining us.
36:49Please enjoy the paparazzi following you.
36:51Oh, no pictures, no pictures.
36:53Now get out of here.
36:54Photos!
36:55Big tent.
36:56But I'm so shy.
36:57How will I overcome my shyness?
36:59Oh, ladies, you were wonderful tonight.
37:01You really were.
37:02What's the big takeaway from tonight?
37:04Oh, this was rigged.
37:07Thanks.
37:09But did anyone get food poisoning?
37:12It's a win for us.
37:13We're good.
37:14That was your goal in the beginning,
37:15not to give anyone food poisoning.
37:17So, in fact, you are winners.
37:18We are winners.
37:19Yes.
37:20Hopefully, Alaska and Willem will get food poisoning.
37:23From them eggs, yeah.
37:24They might get something else.
37:26I know this is a tough one to swallow,
37:28but don't worry.
37:29We're gonna cover all of your legal fees.
37:33All of them?
37:34All of them.
37:35Perfect.
37:36Win-win, bitch.
37:37Yes.
37:38I'm here.
37:39Thanks so much for joining us here on Drag Me to Dinner.
37:41I've been your host, Murray Hill.
37:43It's been fun hanging with you,
37:45but I'm not looking for something serious.
37:47I just got out of a divorce party.
37:49Good night, pals.