VivaTV Best Of Part Two

Barstool Sports

last year

Handsome Hank | Viva TV

Transcript

00:00:00We will have liftoff.

00:00:01My team is myself, Chaps, and Jake Marsh, and we're working on Does It Come?

00:00:15And you can see that we have insects, we have reptiles, we have birds, amphibians, fish,

00:00:20ant and vertebrate.

00:00:21We might have women right here in the middle because no one can figure that out either.

00:00:24But yeah, we're working hard and my hand's been crampy and I'm full of marker and I feel

00:00:28like I'm six years old again.

00:00:29It's snail mucin, but it's the best come I could find.

00:00:32It's snail what?

00:00:33Mucin?

00:00:34It's like...

00:00:35I have no idea.

00:00:36Is it actually snail cum?

00:00:37It's not cum, it's like the stuff that comes out of them.

00:00:40It's good for your skin.

00:00:41I don't know.

00:00:42I'm good on that shit.

00:00:43Look at that shit.

00:00:44I'm not touching that.

00:00:45I really thought when she said Does It Come?

00:00:47I just thought there was just going to be Jake Marsh standing in front of a trifold.

00:00:51Does It Come?

00:00:52I just need to find out if Jake Marsh cums or not.

00:00:54Jake Marsh?

00:00:55Jake Marsh, whatever his name is.

00:00:56I just wrote down some fucking letters, I have no idea.

00:00:58You want to leave, Dave?

00:00:59You and my son are on your team.

00:01:00Yeah.

00:01:01Can I be on your team too?

00:01:02Buddy, no, it's cool.

00:01:03It's not cool.

00:01:04It's like a two man op.

00:01:05I'm looking.

00:01:06You're going to have to run solo.

00:01:07We're cooking up some asparagus pee.

00:01:08Eddie brought with him a pee sample.

00:01:09A control sample of pee.

00:01:10And then he downed an entire bag of asparagus today.

00:01:11He was out of breath from it.

00:01:12He was disgusted by it.

00:01:13And then we're going to have him pee again and see if that pee is stinkier.

00:01:14I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:15I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:16I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:17I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:18I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:19I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:20I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:21I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:22I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:23I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:24I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:25I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:26I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:27I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:28I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:29I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:30I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:31I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:32I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:33I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:34I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:35I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:36I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:37I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:38I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:39I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:40I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:41I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:42I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:43I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:44I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:45I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:46I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:47I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:48I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:49I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:50I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:51I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:52I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:53I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:54I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:55I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:56I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:57I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:58I got a bottle for both of us.

00:01:59I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:00I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:01I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:02I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:03I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:04I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:05I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:06I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:07I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:08I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:09I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:10I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:11I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:12I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:13I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:14I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:15I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:16I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:17I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:18I got a bottle for both of us.

00:02:20I think the cloth is fucking us up.

00:02:21I decided to get pretty meta this year.

00:02:23Uh, yeah.

00:02:24Where's my project?

00:02:25Hypothesis is I didn't do it.

00:02:27Upon further research, I asked around if anybody saw me doing it.

00:02:32They didn't.

00:02:33There's nothing there.

00:02:34But, this is where we have a paradox.

00:02:36Does me not doing a project make it a project?

00:02:39So the results are inconclusive.

00:02:41We're doing something that generally is called elephant toothpaste, but Billy has renamed

00:02:46it to Big Science Jizz.

00:02:49We use jizz.

00:02:50Well, I was planning on just like counting my own sperm for this science experiment to

00:02:55see if I'm fertile.

00:02:56But, there's gotta be rules about bringing your own jizz to work.

00:02:59We're just gonna create jizz of our own.

00:03:02Science jizz.

00:03:03It would really suck to find out you were infertile on camera.

00:03:06Are these glory holes?

00:03:08Yes.

00:03:09Basically.

00:03:10Jake Marsh.

00:03:11Huge glory hole.

00:03:12Yeah.

00:03:13That's what they said.

00:03:14Jake Marsh storylines guy and glory hole guy.

00:03:16Yeah.

00:03:17I don't know what this is.

00:03:22I guess I'll smell Eddie's piss first.

00:03:25Okay.

00:03:26Oh!

00:03:27Oh, that was fucking awful.

00:03:31It's very, very bad.

00:03:34It's bad.

00:03:35I almost choked in the urinal.

00:03:41That's pretty good.

00:03:42That is science jizz.

00:03:44Gentlemen.

00:03:45Gentlemen.

00:03:46Gentlemen.

00:03:47Gentlemen.

00:03:48Where's my project?

00:03:51And in first place, in the 2024 Macrodosing Science Fair, and still champion, Nick Tren.

00:03:59Sorry, boys.

00:04:00Sorry, boys.

00:04:01Thank you.

00:04:02Thank you so much.

00:04:03Thank you.

00:04:04Thank you.

00:04:05Do you have anything to say?

00:04:06Uh, no shit.

00:04:07See you next year, boys.

00:04:08See you next year.

00:04:09Thank you.

00:04:10Thank you.

00:04:11Thank you.

00:04:12Thank you.

00:04:13Thank you.

00:04:14Thank you.

00:04:15Maybe next year, boys.

00:04:16Sorry, Bill.

00:04:17Maybe next year, Bill.

00:04:18Robbery.

00:04:19Robbery.

00:04:20Robbery.

00:04:21Let's get a recount.

00:04:22I know it's taking a bit of shit.

00:04:23Come on.

00:04:24I'm out next year.

00:04:25I'm out next year.

00:04:26All right, boys.

00:04:27Simple as that.

00:04:28Simple as that.

00:04:29Ah!

00:04:30Ah!

00:04:31Ah!

00:04:32Ah!

00:04:33Ah!

00:04:34Ah!

00:04:35Ah!

00:04:36Ah!

00:04:37Ah!

00:04:38Ah!

00:04:39Ah!

00:04:40Ah!

00:04:41Ah!

00:04:42Ah!

00:04:43Ah!

00:04:45Let's go.

00:04:46Let's move on.

00:04:47So now we're going into dog bites.

00:04:48So this is just where the dog is violently biting you right here.

00:04:51Right?

00:04:52One-on-one.

00:04:53So it's just ah!

00:04:54MaxDog, take one.

00:04:55Ah!

00:04:56Ah!

00:04:57Ah!

00:04:58Ah!

00:04:59Ah!

00:05:00It's like, ah!

00:05:01Oh god!

00:05:02Ah!

00:05:03Ah!

00:05:04Ah!

00:05:05Ah!

00:05:06Ah!

00:05:07Ah!

00:05:08Ah!

00:05:09Ah!

00:05:10Ah!

00:05:11Ah!

00:05:12Ah!

00:05:13terrified let's go to a thousand

00:05:34there's the last thing I needed to hear oh come on hey you did you know that

00:05:40accidents happen all the time hey you hey you hey you did you know that

00:05:45accidents happen all the time you can't plan on their accidents dog dog bites

00:05:51dog bites dog bites motorcycle access motorcycle access

00:06:02I'm too young to die probably won't use that one okay slip and fall oh slip and fall

00:06:07whoop whoop whoop all right we just got to wrap you in this stuff so I pull the

00:06:12sleeves all the way down hello

00:06:20max I'm sorry I'll never do it to you again sweetie I need help help me I hate

00:06:28my job Morgan and Morgan the official law firm of parted my take we got a

00:06:37bunch of athletes here a lot of guys don't take himself too seriously doing

00:06:41some athletic competitions I'm sure no one's gonna get hurt I'm gonna have a

00:06:44good time no arguing done in like 14 years a linebacker can't throw a

00:06:50football you know that I don't know how to do the three cone drill but I'll

00:06:57probably still be chipped I think you're gonna wipe the floor with

00:07:00everyone that's cap no shot same cat who said he had more bodies than I had

00:07:10tackles I've got more bodies than you have you don't yeah I do look it up 358

00:07:15tackles that's a lot I don't know he like played like he had like 340 time

00:07:19your research man I should have all right if one of us wins it'll count as

00:07:22smokes but I go by smoke we're both smokes we're both good-looking smokes

00:07:28that is Eugene Eugene not familiar at all I never knew you were Italian I

00:07:33didn't know you were most people think I'm Jewish that's what I thought I get

00:07:39that all the time Cuban or Jewish Cuban and a Jew walk into a bar there was no

00:07:44punchline where's Will Compton's lying ass trying to tell me runs a four or

00:07:48five the guy runs a four fucking six I mean you know you're down bad if you're

00:07:51lying about your 40 times there's the big liar I don't know four or five six

00:07:55no you read a four six that's what that's right a four or six two you

00:07:58didn't run a four when you want to FaceTime with them right now no it's the

00:08:01internet doesn't lie are you just being loud cuz the cameras on no you said you

00:08:05read a four or five I know what I read why does it say four six two here you go

00:08:09hey this on Google says four six two word-of-mouth for five University of

00:08:13Nebraska yeah says from pro day I understand what that says so you had a

00:08:17pro day time of four six two and then you had a non pro day time of four or

00:08:21five do we want to keep talking and just going in circles yeah I told you I can't

00:08:25help if your brain can't compute okay so what it mattered you ran a four six and

00:08:29then when it didn't matter you're in a four or five sure all right it is

00:08:32documented no yeah that's still that's still that's still gas you think anyone

00:08:36does before like I'm still humming at a four six two I still think I can wipe

00:08:41I'm spry I'm spry you're not bro I can jump high you are not spry bro that was

00:08:49mean that was really fucked up did I go I didn't say the biggest call Marty bald

00:08:56guy ever that was me that's a guy who's nervous about losing are you could be

00:08:59the day yes what do you think you're gonna run on a 35 probably like a 3-7

00:09:04what do you think you're gonna bench 28 what do you think you're gonna three

00:09:07cone three to say something a little more realistic so you can put money on

00:09:10six eight vertical 26 now put money on all of those put money on what put money

00:09:15on each one we will bet that I will say you won't get any of those things what

00:09:19if I do better than the number I said then I will pay you $500 but if you lose

00:09:24you pay me $500 no cuz our the way my bank account set up yours has a lot more

00:09:28money in it and mine doesn't Mickey smokes ladies and gentlemen all right so

00:09:32I'll put up 50 for your 500 no why you're gonna so what do you want to do

00:09:37let's do 50 no we can do 100 you're so confident you want to plug the Google

00:09:42you want to do all the theatrics like let's go all right 100 bucks a spot 100

00:09:46on each one you got 50 it's a $400 I'm doing 50

00:09:50I ain't got waste man we can probably time this if you can get your clock out

00:09:53right now

00:09:56what just three go that's just the old tape that the other pills yeah I gotta

00:10:04go right now yeah I woke up this morning I was like don't get injured

00:10:08don't get injured don't get injured don't get injured don't get the aminos

00:10:12you can roll out this a vibrate I'm gonna need that I got the theragun what

00:10:18are those tramadol so this is basically a painkiller but without the it's it's

00:10:24it's not like oxy that'd be bad just like sleeping in the middle of the

00:10:28phone yeah this is how I take that after I would just do it before okay you don't

00:10:32feel anything while you're doing it that way you could be getting injured

00:10:35but you won't know it that's good where are you supposed to put this anywhere

00:10:42you can hurt somebody I can run I'm a lot quicker than people think I love

00:10:47that a lot quicker than people think get out there on that 10-yard ass bro

00:10:51hypothetically if someone were to get hurt during combine that's are just

00:10:55walking no hey we get way out there one of us fucking pulls our hamstrings bro I

00:11:07this is the speed at which I'm running no you should go all out hell no

00:11:15pervert I'll probably come in like 10 30 left maybe 12 if you had to say right

00:11:19now nobody

00:11:42yeah he's proving me wrong I'll give much flowers little chooch little chooch

00:11:47that's what I was saying oh big chooch I don't understand half the shit

00:11:53big stepper big slime big steps big ups mm-hmm I'm pumped I used to do these

00:11:57every weekend junior and senior year of high school

00:12:00Frank Lee's I mean it is an advantage on the turf we'll see how it works out I'm

00:12:05just here to watch warm-up three hours any warm-up you do three hours before

00:12:10it's not helping you getting here stretching out visualizing should I go

00:12:15fast you want to go fast you got short arms you got I don't know but I don't

00:12:19know this I have inventions 2012 oh we have breaking news from Dave Portnoy

00:12:29Ben Mintz was supposed to be participating in this but according to

00:12:33Dave every cent that Mincy makes in his poker tournament all of Mincy's winnings

00:12:39will be donated to the winner of this combine at the time of this recording

00:12:42he's the chip leader so this could be hundreds of thousands of dollars I

00:12:45don't know the exact prize pool the stakes just raised so much

00:13:42in these competitions this is geared everything is geared for what have you

00:13:50noticed everything is geared towards Will Compton busting with the boys to

00:13:55just get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger win this win that

00:13:59win this win that and little guys just are left out to dry I mean it's just

00:14:02just is what it is anything we do it's just Will Compton we don't think that

00:14:05Will was gonna win the athletic competition that's the point it's all

00:14:09rigged for bustling with the boys whatever put Will in a spell on me

00:14:12you're paranoid I'm not paranoid that change the points just check go back on

00:14:17the live context Billy got third overall he thinks they

00:14:20change the points which still puts him in third place but he's still pissed off

00:14:23for some reason because they're doing it so PFT can say Tiger I have no idea what

00:14:28he's talking about I honestly have no idea this is the reason why we invite

00:14:31Billy is for stuff like this so I'm glad that you're fulfilling your end of the

00:14:34bargain I didn't do shit you may have not done it but you had someone change

00:14:37last five minutes accusing me of doing it literally yeah again you think I'm

00:14:40crazy I had 33 points now I have 30 and I'm just like you need to be working

00:14:44really congratulations on the tie both great athletes equally good athletes

00:14:47exactly the same also now why do you care because I'm the leaderboard that's

00:14:53why I literally had 33 points I have 30 where the fuck did that happen you

00:14:58advance it's just the principle they took away my points for content harder

00:15:03reset Billy I have three points that we all have three taken away I was at 39

00:15:08I'm at 37 now we each got some so you're at three but you got two taken away I

00:15:11got three we all lost three points how many points did you lose I didn't even

00:15:14need that last event you know that just is what it is I only needed four to win

00:15:18you got a lot to be proud of today in the Wonderlic and then you win no you

00:15:22guys are gonna vote me off Billy now we try and win the Wonderlic

00:15:29how does that work doesn't matter Billy no matter what happens you'll complain

00:15:32yeah you'll be fine that's real positive I mean it's true oh you think

00:15:36Nick sat down and goes okay Billy's probably gonna be in the top 10 here how

00:15:39do I make it to where he loses yes that's all I'm saying just ask me what

00:15:42are we doing we just take a test no it's Nick's giving us a Wonderlic but again

00:15:46it doesn't matter because at the end of the day you'll find a complaint when you

00:15:50have 33 points and you see it on the board and you keep it track the whole

00:15:52time that's not really because it was live dude there was one point I had 46 I

00:15:58ended up with 42 just because people are like really understand give them the

00:16:01points really when you had zero we don't have to talk about anymore he's like

00:16:05alright I'm losing nevermind nevermind he's it's a live update leaderboard it's

00:16:10a live updated leaderboard so they give you points right ten eight six four two

00:16:15right okay all right when you start the whole competition one person has two

00:16:20points one person has one point everyone who has zero is technically in fourth

00:16:24place so you get the so you get the fourth place points right so you're

00:16:27adding points throughout so Billy if I'm in fourth place with zero and I

00:16:31haven't gone yet and I'm sitting at 46 points the moment Brandon Walker drops

00:16:35five you drop it out zero exactly so you lose points you never had the point it

00:16:45was on the board that you had the points but you didn't have them because you

00:16:47haven't they had you slotted into like the fourth place finish right fifth

00:16:50place finish and then everybody else when you finish way further down like

00:16:54Clemmer when Clemmer went I've been fucked with for a long time so I'm

00:17:05always suspicious people don't understand that about this like stuff

00:17:09like that has happened I've calmed down so now I'm ready like think I rage a

00:17:14little when it comes to that like events I mean who knows what the fuck is

00:17:17they're about to throw up apparently it's like barstool history or barstool

00:17:20trivia I've been following the barstool for a long time hopefully works out is

00:17:25this test multiple choice yeah on God yes on God is there like math no I hope

00:17:30that Mincy can pay his investors at least 60k deep in we got I brought 5k

00:17:35cash for the winner we had to play for something welcome back everybody to the

00:17:40third and final round of the barstool combine all right how many people have

00:17:46two strikes Wow Oh good God categories Twitter which co-worker tweeted this if

00:17:54you're a girl with a Skrillex haircut and tattoos please DM me nothing serious

00:17:59winking emoticon correct answer was see everybody missed when we have to go to

00:18:08the final round wait wait I just what here we go no no we're just we're

00:18:13punting the question the rules from the beginning where it gets down to five

00:18:15people bill we broke his whiteboard are we gonna go to the final round now now

00:18:22it's sudden death name any barstool show series or brand

00:18:26cherry after dark been said Billy I'm sorry it is fair yeah fraud and order

00:18:34what the fuck was that yep that was mine and that is not on the list it was mine

00:18:40wait wait they're saying hold on again yeah I like the show yeah it's a good

00:18:49show PFT for the win big if true PFT wins the sorry Marty mush Marty listen

00:19:02it's tough you know there's a lose on your own show people forgot about it I

00:19:06mean like you got fucked on that you got fucked on thank you thank you so

00:19:12much Rod and we're gonna leave always gonna say no and then yeah it's a good

00:19:16day I think for me it was just getting you just getting some more tape out you

00:19:20never know I think it back in the lead usually you got to do these tests

00:19:36yes sketches here today kind of linked up started watching the streams some

00:19:44months ago and I was a fan hit him up talk a little bit that's some stuff in

00:19:49common no you know this person parcel you know me you know Brandon Walker you

00:19:55know move when you come to Barcelona day we'll collab on a Jerry at the dark no

00:19:58problem there's an office today we're doing a

00:20:00Madden stream be sick sure schedule throw in some fat jokes but comes with

00:20:05territory well let's go great yeah this is insane yeah get that they sent it

00:20:11sent it yeah this is fun hello how's it going

00:20:14no no man are you gonna get are you see ya'll welcome to the first sir yeah a

00:20:18little bittersweet but you know what's going on how are you doing

00:20:22yes nice to meet you what's up dude pleasure to meet you man same here

00:20:25what's going on man good to meet you too stop bro take that girl out or what

00:20:31she's coming to Houston it's coming to you she wants a Rolls-Royce though I

00:20:34don't know if I could I don't know if I could do that but I've walked myself

00:20:37enough buzzsaw stay firm right yeah so what you guys are playing Madden Madden

00:20:45you'll do Madden maybe wrestle in between how's your higher submissions

00:20:51coming along 98% guys arch madness feet to streets I mean we're just getting

00:20:55guys I need I need some help I need some help all my demographic is just male

00:21:00would you do a guy's bracket I gave at that point you have no option they're

00:21:04now to send pictures of their feet but they don't want to like put their face

00:21:07on the camera you need sketch I'm down

00:21:13probably the gayest thought I've ever had but I was like if you actually did

00:21:16it with guys it would pop you're gonna rate men's feet like you can't do that

00:21:21dog the foot is a pro men's feet are not the same as women's feet no they're not

00:21:26how many toes 10 but how many girls don't have hair on their feet some do

00:21:31they shave it women's feet are way nicer than men's feet I bet you we could I

00:21:35bet you we could do you with feet you're making a guy's foot tournament I don't

00:21:39think that's gay Jared I don't think it's gay either I can live with it would

00:21:42you be down to announce it maybe Nick announce the men's foot tournament yeah

00:21:48how do you judge a foot arch toes like beauty of it yeah well Jared that is gay

00:21:54tattoos brownie points I think March like maybe six I'm just play a listen we

00:21:59couldn't get enough girls we're gonna turn this into guys I don't want to do

00:22:02it but what's the other perfect five thousand cash five thousand cash like

00:22:06Craigslist crises yeah my sister on it she might do it yeah what are you to call

00:22:13her from miss peaches yeah oh my god we don't want to put too much pressure on

00:22:20her you also are forgetting about the biggest factor in all this

00:22:23Dave hey hey you got a second yeah hey I didn't I didn't think it would get to

00:22:28this point we're just getting a lot of guys and I need I need a little bit of

00:22:34help the only thing I could think of is if I spin it towards a male competition

00:22:46I mean I don't have I don't have no female followers can miss peaches do

00:22:50anything like can you can she put up can you just do something Dave I don't

00:23:01really want to be doing like foot fetish videos no no I'm not asking you to post

00:23:07a video just like maybe like hey if you're a female and you want to win

00:23:12$5,000 I think this would be great for the brand no no I don't think so all

00:23:22right I'll think about it some more thanks Dave I let it go good I don't

00:23:29need 64 no I'm happy I'm happy with 16 sweet 16 I could turn that into a three

00:23:36hour stream easy four five six like six hours I mean I can do I can do however

00:23:45long it's not um it's usually just how I feel well keep you geeked up yeah if we

00:23:50played a whole season we that would take forever if you have if we have to win

00:23:54that would take forever how long do you think it would take 48 hours

00:23:58really you have to win every game with 32 you don't have to win every game

00:24:02you're gonna win a Super Bowl when a Super Bowl is with and it's I think it's

00:24:05just for pretty straightforward stream tonight let's introduce our special

00:24:15special guest take forever be brother sketch time to cook special team special

00:24:21play special player Jerry DeVito Jerry DeVito they call him Jerry Blart

00:24:26there's two over under five fat jokes you want me to cook for you I want you

00:24:30to cook I can tell you should see Jerry's jawline it looks a lot like a

00:24:34bunny slope we got two sushi rolls guess who ate both of them my brother

00:24:38Jerry illegal touching Jersey Jerry no no no no 15 years lock him up great guy

00:24:44University just don't let him around any schools came up short that's what God

00:24:48said when he made Jerry 135 tarps off oh yeah I like that and then at 140 he

00:24:54takes the bra off to sketch my uncle named Dan Katz is really fat and needs

00:24:58to lose some weight can you help motivate him to lose some weight hey Dan

00:25:01Katz you're a fat fuck sorry for cussing you know Dan Katz is right who's

00:25:05Dan Katz big cat

00:25:16this is everything I ever dreamed of this is gonna be my soul source of

00:25:20nutrients thank you you take a bag put it underneath the spout put it right

00:25:27there and then you press the button auger goes you got popcorn I am NOT

00:25:50cleaning this one I worked at a movie theater for a year these take like an

00:25:54hour to clean and there's dude this is nice Wow

00:26:00this is insane I thought Megan Megan do you think a frog invented leap day is

00:26:06that what you think we have February 29th because of a frog doing some

00:26:11popcorn I wanted to do this forever with the power granted to me I would like to

00:26:18officially announce the opening of the nuts on Clark popcorn machine here at

00:26:23Barstool Sports

00:26:53welcome to Chicago I'm Brianna I don't know if we've ever met. Nice to meet you. How are you?

00:26:58How are you? What's up? Nice to see you. How's life? Awesome. Hey, what's up? Hey, how are you? Good to see you. Good to see you too.

00:27:07Oh yeah, Zach has a show. Oh nice. What's up? How we doing? When's Zach's concert? Tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday.

00:27:15I've been listening to it like non-stop like last month like this guy rocks. Yeah, he rocks.

00:27:19Anything you need. All right. Thanks, man. We go way back. Are there any many women at this office or no? Five. Five total.

00:27:28This is way nicer than the New York office. So much nicer. And everyone's just playing basketball. This is like no one has a real job.

00:27:35This is insane. Just walk in, play basketball, eat popcorn. I might move to Chicago. This place is fucking sick.

00:27:42Hard day at work, huh? Nice buckets. Thank you. Thank you, Bri. Me and the boys. Popcorn. Nice. That's crazy. What do you think?

00:27:52It's so much nicer than New York by a mile. All right. Ready, Brianna? All right. Here we go. Three, two, one, go.

00:28:00Okay. Soccer shot. She's dainty as hell. Come on. Get it. Oh, it's all right. Bang. Yes.

00:28:15Oh, yeah. Yes. Better shot than half of the people. Oh. Oh, it's over there. Pass the ball, Madison. Yes. Yes. All right.

00:28:30Hillsbury. The dough boy is a camel. It's a duck. Yeah. Colonel Kobe Bryant. Here we go. Norway. Oh, there we go.

00:28:42Oh, Jack Black. Oh, that's Scooby-Doo. Scooby-Doo. Shaggy and Velma. Time. There we go. You crushed that. Did I crush it? Yeah.

00:28:52Kaitlyn Clark challenge. Break the record. I got a hit. I think she had 500 and something threes. I'm not sure how many, but I did it yesterday.

00:28:59I did 25 shots from the top. Made 18 out of 25. I was lights out. Couldn't miss. So I was like, I'm going to do this challenge easy.

00:29:07But now I slept on it. 500 is a lot of threes. Are you going to flop to draw a technical foul before one of the free throws?

00:29:14Okay. Just making sure. Let's make it authentic. Yeah. The last shot, I want to hit from where she hit it, which is somewhere over there, that area, right?

00:29:22Jerry is way better at basketball than I think most people realize. I'm worried about the fatigue aspect, but if he sits down and really thinks about it,

00:29:29comes up with a strategy, and then sticks to it, I think he'll be fine. But as we know, that's not how Jerry operates.

00:29:35Shut it down. Shut the stream down. Shut it down. It's over. It's over. Shut it the fuck down, Iceman. Shut it down.

00:29:42But his basketball ability, I believe in. There's just no way this goes past six hours. There's no way.

00:29:47LaSussy knows I'm going to shoot her with it. Why are we switching it to LaSussy now? How many points is it?

00:29:513,685. You'd have to hit 1,079 layups. Cake! 1,000 layups? I did that in middle school, bro.

00:30:00I've doubted almost every challenge that you've completed. I doubted that needle in a haystack was possible.

00:30:06Pretty much everything that you've actually done, I've been like, that's impossible.

00:30:09Weeballing. Weeballing. I was like, that will never happen. Everything I've doubted, you've done.

00:30:13Let's say I'm 20%. How many attempts is that from three? Do you know how to do that math, Lucas?

00:30:18Yeah. 2,545 shots if you shot 20%. Shit.

00:30:24Hey, order Icy Hot. Somebody get Icy Hot. Yeah, I need Icy Hot. Six hours.

00:30:30I've had water in my ear for two weeks. I'm going to show you how much I'm going to shoot her.

00:30:35It's easy. He's in the jersey. That was sick. That was sick.

00:30:39And I think you know it. You kind of know it. If you quit tonight, it's over.

00:30:46I'm not quitting. Sketch wasn't a quit. I'm just saying, if you quit tonight, it's over.

00:30:52What's over? Jerry After Dark's canceled. I never quit.

00:30:55No, no, no. But I'm just saying, if you quit tonight, it's over.

00:30:58It's canceled and it's a canceled show that then you have to deal with the repercussions of having a canceled show.

00:31:03And I'm going to give the show to someone else who won't quit.

00:31:06White Sox' Dave After Dark would be electric. Maybe I'll do it and I won't quit every Tuesday.

00:31:10I don't quit every Tuesday. I'm just saying, if you quit tonight, it's over.

00:31:14I mean, there should be some type of reward. Like, hey, Jerry, you don't quit tonight, you get a steak.

00:31:19No, you don't get a reward for doing your job. You don't. All right. You get a steak. Great.

00:31:24I want to be clear. It's not quit. Jerry quits. He gets to quit the show.

00:31:28No, no. It's a canceled show. That matters for his payment, you know, for when he wants to go into contract extension, all this stuff.

00:31:35It's a canceled show. It's not quitting. All right. Good. Sketch wasn't a quit.

00:31:39I didn't quit Brandon Walker Street. I didn't quit Needle in the Haystack. I didn't quit Wee Bowling.

00:31:43Well, you didn't quit Needle in the Haystack because I was there. I would never quit.

00:31:46I'm jealous. I want to do tonight's stream. I'd rather do it.

00:31:49These people, these people.

00:31:58And we're like 20, 25 minutes out. Feeling good, man.

00:32:01A lot of people are degrading Jerry in the sense of not thinking that he's got the stamina or he's got the shooting power or even the accuracy for it.

00:32:10Hopefully eight hours around there. It's going to be a long one. Don't get me wrong, but it's going to be fun.

00:32:15So I'm excited.

00:32:19You can do it, Jerry.

00:32:20Oh, yeah.

00:32:24That feels fresh.

00:32:25Fuck.

00:32:27Somebody stole my wristbands.

00:32:29All right, Lucas, go ahead.

00:32:30Punk ass.

00:32:31Ryan, you good?

00:32:32Yeah.

00:32:33Final prediction.

00:32:35Eleven and a half hours.

00:32:37That brings us to what? Seven in the morning around there.

00:32:44Come on, Lucas.

00:32:48We're live in one minute.

00:32:49All right.

00:32:50We're live. We're live. We're live. We're not late.

00:32:52I'm giving out. I'm going to bump it up to $20,000 to one person in the chat if I quit this stream.

00:32:58$20,000.

00:33:00Because no, I'm not quitting.

00:33:01Because no, I'm not quitting.

00:33:02By the end of this stream, people are going to be like,

00:33:06JJ, that dude's a shooter.

00:33:08That dude's a shooter.

00:33:28He'll do it because he will never give up.

00:33:31This is about 12 hours.

00:33:33The free throws have been the worst part about this challenge.

00:33:35Take a ten minute, five minute reset.

00:33:37Yeah, definitely some chafing setting in for sure.

00:33:40Let me see.

00:33:43Yep.

00:33:44Sore, very sore.

00:33:46Feet are hurting.

00:33:47We're almost done, so that's all that matters.

00:34:07I'm going to buzz.

00:34:32Who came up with this fucking bullshit?

00:34:34This ruined our whole time.

00:34:38Who made this room with the logo?

00:34:40I got no logo.

00:34:42I got no logo.

00:34:44You have to logo, do logo, do logo.

00:34:46Do logo.

00:34:53Oh, fucking finally.

00:34:56Yes.

00:34:57Yes.

00:34:59Good stream, right?

00:35:00Good stream.

00:35:01Five hours, 36 minutes.

00:35:04That's good time.

00:35:08Bang.

00:35:10Less than six hours.

00:35:11They called him a quitter.

00:35:13How do they hold it like this?

00:35:17You're fucking legendary.

00:35:19Type of shit like this, your fucking wrist is off the weight.

00:35:24My hand is fucked.

00:35:26This part of it's tight.

00:35:29It's in a bad spot.

00:35:30That's what people don't think about.

00:35:31It's in the fingertips off the roll.

00:35:33That's what's the problem.

00:35:34I was never quitting tonight.

00:35:35I'm a shooter.

00:35:36I'm a shooter.

00:35:37That's just what I do.

00:35:38I've been a shooter my whole life.

00:35:39I didn't think I would get it in five and a half hours, though.

00:35:41You can measure all these analytics, size, weight, speed.

00:35:46You can't measure the heart, though.

00:35:48That's what it comes down to.

00:35:49I'll be back.

00:35:50I'll be back for LeBron.

00:35:52One day.

00:35:58This is where all the underpaid college students get to work?

00:36:01Awesome.

00:36:02Man, talk about not deserving this kind of stuff.

00:36:04Do you know what I mean?

00:36:05Unbelievable.

00:36:06Because you guys make fun of people, you get to have a basketball court.

00:36:08I mean, isn't that crazy?

00:36:09I mean, this is awesome.

00:36:10How dope is this?

00:36:11I've seen some of, like, the trick shot videos or whatever that you guys are putting together.

00:36:15Don't you guys own Dude Perfect?

00:36:17What's the difference?

00:36:18Hey, nice to meet you.

00:36:19What's up, man?

00:36:20How are you?

00:36:21Andrew.

00:36:22The difference is they go for, like, 12-year-old dudes.

00:36:23Who are you?

00:36:24They're wholesome.

00:36:25Are you getting all that on camera?

00:36:27No warm-up, right?

00:36:28I didn't get one warm-up shot.

00:36:30Ah, that's awesome.

00:36:31That's NBA 3.

00:36:32That's a real 3.

00:36:33Can you imagine this is where they shoot from every fucking time?

00:36:35This is where they shoot from.

00:36:36That's so fucking far.

00:36:38That ceiling feels like I might hit that light, right?

00:36:40I hit it all the time.

00:36:41Who designed that?

00:36:42Probably got to fire that guy.

00:36:43Yeah.

00:36:44That's just a bad idea.

00:36:45And do one of those, right?

00:36:46Wow.

00:36:47This is how Barstool Subsidizes is giving these kids, like, six bucks an hour.

00:36:50It's like, they're like, you can go play whenever you want.

00:36:52There's unlimited body armor to drink.

00:36:54Yep.

00:36:55I can't pay rent.

00:36:56Yeah, but you can go shoot hoops at lunch.

00:36:58My grandma's dying, Dave.

00:36:59I need a loan.

00:37:00Oh, dude.

00:37:01Come on.

00:37:02Let's go.

00:37:03Go play pop a shot.

00:37:04Shut up.

00:37:05Go do an ad under the Morgan & Morgan lights.

00:37:06This is the childhood dream is having a gym, like, in your house or in, like, in your backyard,

00:37:12you know?

00:37:13I haven't played basketball in years.

00:37:14And I quit because your knees start to hurt.

00:37:17Oh, my God.

00:37:18This is sponsored by Morgan & Morgan.

00:37:19I did make the joke this whole court is, huh?

00:37:21Yeah.

00:37:22That's so fucking funny, dude.

00:37:23Well, in case somebody gets injured, you know?

00:37:24People score.

00:37:25It's America's number one injury law firm.

00:37:26Yeah.

00:37:27Should I break something?

00:37:28Yeah.

00:37:29No one cares.

00:37:30Nah.

00:37:31This is what I'm talking about, dude.

00:37:32I could just come and do this all day.

00:37:33Yeah, man.

00:37:34You guys don't deserve all this shit.

00:37:35It's wild.

00:37:36It's really fucked up, dude.

00:37:37It's fucking crazy.

00:37:38This is awesome.

00:37:39Can we smack into this fucking thing?

00:37:40Who can play golf here?

00:37:41Can anybody play?

00:37:42I probably play the most golf, but I just started playing a couple years ago.

00:37:45I'm, like, a 20.

00:37:46But I'm...

00:37:47I think it's gonna be a breakthrough year for me.

00:37:49Talk, suckers, man.

00:37:50You guys are fucking pieces of shit, dude.

00:37:52We just got a popcorn machine, too.

00:37:54Fuck, dude.

00:37:55Really?

00:37:56Fuck, dude.

00:37:57Once you get that, you're set.

00:37:59Once you get that, you're set.

00:38:00It's a little too bougie for me.

00:38:01I mean, a simulator and a basketball court are kind of...

00:38:03That makes sense.

00:38:04But a popcorn machine is a little kind of, like...

00:38:06You know what I mean?

00:38:07Showing off at some point.

00:38:14Oh, that's money.

00:38:16Burn it.

00:38:17Oh, get fucked.

00:38:19What a piece of shit, dude.

00:38:21Honestly, what a dumb putty.

00:38:23How's my boy?

00:38:24What's going on?

00:38:25Jackass.

00:38:27Oh!

00:38:29Jackass.

00:38:30You know the kid doesn't miss?

00:38:32Yeah, this is the famous Jerry hole-in-one.

00:38:34This is the hole-in-one.

00:38:35I watched you guys put him through hell.

00:38:37It's really disgusting what you do to some of these fucking people.

00:38:39Like, it's actually not cool.

00:38:41It's fucking...

00:38:42It makes me a little sick, dude.

00:38:44We had a guy in 100 hours of solitary confinement.

00:38:47He started on Monday morning.

00:38:49And Wednesday, Dave woke up, and he's like,

00:38:51this is the most boring stream I've ever watched.

00:38:53He's like, we're cutting it.

00:38:54And so he cut it for two days, and he was just talking to no one.

00:38:57That's fucking funny.

00:38:59That's a good trick.

00:39:00And then we brought it back live for the last five hours.

00:39:02That's a good fucking trick.

00:39:04Do you have the Villanova game on?

00:39:06Yeah.

00:39:07Stop.

00:39:08What?

00:39:09I bet on it.

00:39:10You know what's going on.

00:39:11What do you mean?

00:39:12Are they down already?

00:39:13We started the game down 10-0.

00:39:14Oh, my God.

00:39:1510-0?

00:39:16What the fuck happened?

00:39:17Wait, what happened there?

00:39:18He just missed a shot.

00:39:19All right, let's just do it.

00:39:20No, come on.

00:39:21I mean, this is over.

00:39:22You guys are crazy guys.

00:39:23Come in.

00:39:24Watch the show.

00:39:25Sit down.

00:39:26All right.

00:39:27Jesus.

00:39:28Come in.

00:39:29Sit down.

00:39:30You need to stop.

00:39:31Put your hands on your hips.

00:39:32Max does sit like a little baby.

00:39:34I do.

00:39:35Let's jump ball.

00:39:36Give me that ball.

00:39:37Yes.

00:39:38Yes.

00:39:39Let's go.

00:39:40Come on.

00:39:41I can't believe you quit on the Novocats.

00:39:42I wasn't giving up.

00:39:43I was giving up on you.

00:39:44No.

00:39:45This is not good offense.

00:39:46No.

00:39:47Foul.

00:39:48Oh, they got it.

00:39:49They gave it to him.

00:39:50Let's go.

00:39:52He's going to make all three.

00:39:53Breaking the first.

00:39:54Stop.

00:39:55Come back.

00:39:56Oh.

00:39:57Oh.

00:39:58Oh.

00:39:59Oh.

00:40:00Oh.

00:40:01Oh.

00:40:02He's feeling it.

00:40:03This is the worst.

00:40:04Wax.

00:40:05Let's go.

00:40:06Let's go.

00:40:07Best free throw team in the country.

00:40:08Oh, no.

00:40:09Godino.

00:40:10Oh.

00:40:11No.

00:40:12Fuck.

00:40:13Damn it.

00:40:14Oh, fuck.

00:40:15Oh.

00:40:16Damn it.

00:40:17Oh.

00:40:18I hate you guys.

00:40:19I hate you guys.

00:40:20Well, there is .001 second left.

00:40:21Anything can happen in .01 second.

00:40:22They might put .1 second back on.

00:40:23It might be .2.

00:40:24All right.

00:40:25Now can we do the show?

00:40:26There's .1 second.

00:40:27It's over.

00:40:28Can we just do the thing?

00:40:29I just want to do the fucking show.

00:40:30I'm the worst.

00:40:31I'm the worst.

00:40:32If this was my team, I could fucking live it.

00:40:33It's my life.

00:40:34It's like, I don't.

00:40:35I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:36What if he gets close to me?

00:40:37I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:38I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:39I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:40I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:41I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:42I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:43I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:44I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:45I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:46I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:47I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:48I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:49I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:50I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:51I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:52I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:53I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:54I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:55I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:56I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:57I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:58I hate when you get close to me.

00:40:59I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:00I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:01I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:02I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:03I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:04I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:05I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:06I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:07I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:08I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:09I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:10I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:11I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:12I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:13I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:14I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:15I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:16I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:17I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:18I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:19I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:20I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:21I hate when you get close to me.

00:41:23Big day today.

00:41:24We got a white whale guest coming in.

00:41:25I honestly don't know how this is going to go.

00:41:26This could go either really well or really poorly.

00:41:29But I'm excited.

00:41:30This is the spot.

00:41:31Yeah.

00:41:32Hey coach, how's it going?

00:41:33I'm at the PFT.

00:41:34How are you?

00:41:35Pretty good.

00:41:36This is basically a whole training facility.

00:41:37This is a great court.

00:41:38It's not bad, right?

00:41:39And a golf simulator over here.

00:41:40I don't know how your golf game is these days.

00:41:41We're lucky guys.

00:41:42It's non-existent.

00:41:43Flip coach, take a shot.

00:41:44What club you want?

00:41:45You got a brand new set.

00:41:46I think the driver.

00:41:47You want a big dog.

00:41:48Oh, God.

00:41:49No pressure, bro.

00:41:51You got this.

00:41:52Pipe one.

00:41:53Don't delete any bad footage.

00:41:54Oh, there we go.

00:41:55Okay.

00:41:56That plays.

00:41:57You're going to love that.

00:41:58It's going to run.

00:41:59No, no, no.

00:42:00Go.

00:42:01I would honestly take that every time.

00:42:02It's cool.

00:42:03Basically, again, it's recess at work.

00:42:04So we have a good time.

00:42:05We watch all the games.

00:42:06This would be paradise.

00:42:07Yeah.

00:42:08Just beat the streets to happen in 10 minutes.

00:42:09It's going to happen.

00:42:10It's going to happen.

00:42:11It's going to happen.

00:42:12It's going to happen.

00:42:13It's going to happen.

00:42:14It's going to happen.

00:42:15It's going to happen.

00:42:16It's going to happen.

00:42:17It's going to happen.

00:42:18It's going to happen.

00:42:19It's going to happen.

00:42:20It's going to happen.

00:42:21It's going to happen.

00:42:22It's going to happen.

00:42:23It's going to happen.

00:42:24It's going to happen.

00:42:25It's going to happen.

00:42:26It's going to happen.

00:42:27It's going to happen.

00:42:28It's going to happen.

00:42:29It's going to happen.

00:42:30It's going to happen.

00:42:31It's going to happen.

00:42:32It's going to happen.

00:42:33It's going to happen.

00:42:34It's going to happen.

00:42:35It's going to happen.

00:42:36It's going to happen.

00:42:37It's going to happen.

00:42:38It's going to happen.

00:42:39It's going to happen.

00:42:40It's going to happen.

00:42:41It's going to happen.

00:42:42It's going to happen.

00:42:43It's going to happen.

00:42:44It's going to happen.

00:42:45It's going to happen.

00:42:46And then it's like, who knows?

00:42:47Cinderella run starts now.

00:42:48Now is the mask because I'm disgusting?

00:42:51No, the mask is just so I don't breathe in.

00:42:54Okay, all right.

00:42:55Got it.

00:42:56Got it.

00:42:57Got it.

00:42:58All right.

00:42:59Yeah, you got some really good feet.

00:43:00Oh, thank you.

00:43:01I'm very impressed.

00:43:02I think they're just saying that because they have to say it.

00:43:03No, no, no.

00:43:04I'm telling you right now, if I win, if I win the cash prize, you get $1,000.

00:43:24It's like paying out your caddy.

00:43:33I mean, this is breaking news.

00:43:36There's about 25 contestants.

00:43:38I was under the impression we were going to get four or five.

00:43:40Who knows?

00:43:41Listen, I had the tweet ready.

00:43:42I didn't know who was going to show up.

00:43:44This could be a million live watchers.

00:43:46I wouldn't doubt it.

00:43:47There's a lot of foot guys out there.

00:43:48This is a one-of-one in-person foot competition.

00:43:50This doesn't happen anywhere else.

00:43:52There's a lot of girls in this office.

00:43:54That's a lot of girls.

00:43:55We got a full bar up.

00:43:56There's not a sight you're used to seeing.

00:43:58No, I mean, listen.

00:43:59When you got 5K on the line, people do a lot of things for 5K.

00:44:02Thank you.

00:44:03How's it going?

00:44:04We'll see how this goes.

00:44:05I got the call to do this about three hours ago.

00:44:07I raced home.

00:44:08I got to cheat.

00:44:09Look at the socks.

00:44:10They're terrible.

00:44:11I brought the socks as an extra.

00:44:12I got to put them on right now.

00:44:14$5,000 here.

00:44:15Cash, as I promised.

00:44:17This is Arch.

00:44:18This is what these girls are competing for here.

00:44:20I mean, they're not competing for a couple hundred bucks here.

00:44:23I mean, this is $5,000 cash in their hand going home after this.

00:44:29I'm going to be a fair judge.

00:44:31I'm going to be an honest judge.

00:44:32I'm going to score this as fairly as possible.

00:44:35By the end of this thing, you might say to yourself,

00:44:38this is what I've been missing.

00:44:39Eight seed Reese.

00:44:4125 seed Val.

00:44:42I appreciate the anklet, by the way, Reese.

00:44:44Thank you.

00:44:45Big anklet guy.

00:44:46Also a big McDouble guy.

00:44:52This is ridiculous.

00:44:53How are you?

00:44:54Hello.

00:44:55How are you?

00:44:56I'm out.

00:44:57Oh, no.

00:44:59Yes!

00:45:00Woo!

00:45:01Welcome home.

00:45:02She doesn't know me.

00:45:03All right, let me change.

00:45:04Yeah, yeah.

00:45:06All right, I'll just hang out in here.

00:45:08Hawaii, Colombia, Venezuela.

00:45:11Yeah.

00:45:12Because then if I traveled so far, like, he's got to feel bad.

00:45:15Venezuela.

00:45:16Oh, my God, your toes are huge.

00:45:18Huge.

00:45:19I'm a man.

00:45:20Do you have another one of these bracelets?

00:45:21There we go.

00:45:22Yeah.

00:45:23OK.

00:45:24Because it fits better.

00:45:25I'm going up against Max, so he has to pick me first round.

00:45:27And then we'll see what happens.

00:45:28Yeah.

00:45:29I don't really know what I'm doing.

00:45:30My feet are absolutely gross, so.

00:45:33All right, that's enough.

00:45:34That's enough.

00:45:35OK, OK.

00:45:36That's enough.

00:45:37I got gross feet.

00:45:38I don't know what to say.

00:45:39I got gross feet.

00:45:40I look incredible.

00:45:41I don't like it.

00:45:42It freaks me out.

00:45:43I'm trying to win five grand.

00:45:45Thank you.

00:45:46I'm Carlita from Venezuela.

00:45:48I speak Spanish.

00:45:49No habla ingles.

00:45:50Carlita from Venezuela.

00:45:52Carlita from Venezuela.

00:45:54I'm Carlita from Venezuela.

00:45:56That's my boss.

00:45:57I'll just say no habla ingles.

00:45:58It's a thing.

00:45:59If I can fucking keep going, I'm going to beat Max and just keep some momentum.

00:46:03How's it going?

00:46:04What's your name?

00:46:05Carlita Perez.

00:46:06Listen, it's March.

00:46:07We got to win money in March.

00:46:08I saw five K. I'm in.

00:46:10I have Paige hiding in the hallway, so she's going to talk for me with a Spanish accent.

00:46:15Carlita Perez.

00:46:16I did it all.

00:46:17I did it all.

00:46:18I'm here to win.

00:46:19Let's go win.

00:46:20Carlita Perez and then Maxine.

00:46:21OK, we'll start with Carlita Perez.

00:46:23Which one?

00:46:24Can you wiggle your toes, Carlita?

00:46:26OK, that's perfect.

00:46:27So Carlita, you're wearing the blue leggings, right?

00:46:29Yes.

00:46:30Double anklets?

00:46:31Yes.

00:46:32Toe ring?

00:46:33Yes.

00:46:34I like that.

00:46:35OK, so Carlita, where are you from?

00:46:36Venezuela.

00:46:37Venezuela, OK.

00:46:40Venezuela.

00:46:41That's exotic for sure.

00:46:42Venezuela.

00:46:43Carlita, why did you want to come here today to join this competition?

00:46:46I'm actually a little nervous.

00:46:48I come to Chicago because I'm visiting my family.

00:46:51OK, awesome.

00:46:52And what size foot is that, a 9 1⁄2 to 10?

00:46:55Yes, 9 1⁄2.

00:46:56I'm usually good with the size.

00:46:57I know I'm pretty good with that.

00:46:59Yes.

00:47:00And then can we do tippy toes?

00:47:01Yes.

00:47:02Perfect.

00:47:03And then can we do a side angle where I can see that arch.

00:47:07Sorry, I'm a little nervous.

00:47:09No, it's OK.

00:47:10It's OK.

00:47:11Let's restart really quick with the right foot.

00:47:15I'm going to need a tippy toe from there so I can see the arch.

00:47:19Yeah, I'm gonna need a tippy-toe from there

00:47:21so I can see the arch.

00:47:22Perfect, that's great.

00:47:24Okay, Carlita, you can stay right there.

00:47:26Maxine, where are you from?

00:47:27I'm from Pennsylvania.

00:47:29Okay, and what size foot?

00:47:3112, 12 meds.

00:47:33And Maxine, is that hair I see on the foot?

00:47:37Yeah, I forgot to get wax today.

00:47:39Okay, you guys can go back, I'm done here.

00:47:41Thank you.

00:47:43Thank you.

00:47:44Thank you, Carlita.

00:47:44Venezuela, visiting family in Chicago,

00:47:48comes to the competition on a whim.

00:47:50The dedication is, I mean, it's unmatched.

00:47:53Come on.

00:47:54Size nine and a half, which is, let's face the fact,

00:47:56that's on the bigger side, right?

00:47:57Look, that's on the bigger side.

00:47:58Maxine just ran into a buzzsaw here too.

00:48:01This is the sixth seed.

00:48:03Carlita Perez moves on, Lucas.

00:48:05All right, Carlita Perez moves on.

00:48:07You said it was me right away?

00:48:09It was your doing to send Max out.

00:48:11He doesn't know it's you.

00:48:12It's a shame I gotta go home early,

00:48:13but I'm happy that, you know,

00:48:15maybe Carlita can bring some family home,

00:48:17some money home to Venezuela.

00:48:18Hopefully you don't see me in the second round,

00:48:20because I'm making a run, I'm making a run.

00:48:22It's not personal, it's just business.

00:48:26The worst foot of the night by far was Maxine.

00:48:29The rest of the feet have actually been,

00:48:32even the girls who've lost, they've been really good feet.

00:48:35Listen, I love all these girls

00:48:36who've been hanging out in the green room.

00:48:39They're friends for life, but I'm here to win 5K.

00:48:42You feel like you're one of the girls?

00:48:43Yeah, I feel like one of the girls.

00:48:44Actually, I'm the only one eating pizza though,

00:48:46so I don't know what that's about.

00:48:48We're still going with Carlita.

00:48:49Carlita, Carlita Perez?

00:48:50Gotcha.

00:48:51All right, there's Carlita Perez, voice and all.

00:48:54Perfect, perfect, perfect, Carlita, perfect.

00:48:56Just like that, perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect.

00:48:59Okay, girls, thank you, thank you so much.

00:49:01I appreciate that.

00:49:03Carlita, Venezuela, the story's incredible.

00:49:08The storyline, visiting family, I remember, in Chicago,

00:49:12and then probably going back to Venezuela.

00:49:16No.

00:49:16Just not enough arch.

00:49:17No.

00:49:18This is arch.

00:49:19No.

00:49:20And that's why Tiara, I mean, she takes it.

00:49:22No.

00:49:23Tiara takes it, 16.

00:49:24Fuck.

00:49:24I would love to see Carlita compete again though.

00:49:27I want that on record.

00:49:28I would love to see Carlita compete again.

00:49:30I really would.

00:49:31Tell him Carlita wants to say one last thing.

00:49:33Carlita is making a request.

00:49:35Yes, Carlita.

00:49:36I just want to let you know that I was just super nervous.

00:49:38I can do whatever you want, Jerry.

00:49:40My family really needs the money.

00:49:41How the fuck is that not enough arch, dude?

00:49:44It just wasn't enough arch.

00:49:45What the fuck?

00:49:46Look at that arch.

00:49:47Oh my God.

00:49:48Look at this arch.

00:49:49Oh my God.

00:49:50How is that not enough arch?

00:49:51Oh my God.

00:49:52God damn it.

00:49:53Oh my God.

00:49:54You robbed us.

00:49:55You robbed America of Carlita's Cinderella run.

00:49:57Oh my God.

00:49:58I put on two toe rings for you.

00:50:00Oh my God.

00:50:03Oh my.

00:50:04I'm robbed.

00:50:05Oh my God.

00:50:07Oh my God.

00:50:11Oh my God.

00:50:13Boy.

00:50:14You don't want to see my feet?

00:50:16Look at my feet.

00:50:17Take a look at my toes.

00:50:19You like the Venezuela?

00:50:20I knew that'd get you.

00:50:21I knew that'd get you.

00:50:22You fucking asshole.

00:50:23Venezuela.

00:50:24I'm gonna work.

00:50:25I couldn't tell.

00:50:26I'm gonna work on my arch.

00:50:27I'll be back.

00:50:28He does with good feet.

00:50:29That's not the last of me.

00:50:30I was here at 8.30.

00:50:31We were getting a pedicure.

00:50:32Really?

00:50:33In a secret room.

00:50:34Who would be your toughest opponent in the WWE ring?

00:50:36In this office?

00:50:37KB.

00:50:38I fake wrestled with KB and I got scared in two seconds.

00:50:42If it's WWE, that kind of takes KB out

00:50:44because he's more of a grounded pound.

00:50:47He's not like a traditional,

00:50:48like I could probably pick KB up.

00:50:50All right.

00:50:51We'll try that on the X-ray.

00:51:12Oh!

00:51:18Ah!

00:51:19Oh!

00:51:20Oh!

00:51:21Oh!

00:51:22Oh!

00:51:23Oh!

00:51:24Oh!

00:51:25Oh!

00:51:26Oh!

00:51:27Oh!

00:51:28He hurt you!

00:51:29What the fuck?

00:51:30He hurt me.

00:51:31You were supposed to call me offensive.

00:51:33He came close, so.

00:51:34Show me.

00:51:35Show me.

00:51:36Show me.

00:51:37Head.

00:51:38You're good.

00:51:39Are you okay, J?

00:51:41Oh.

00:51:41Oh, check the tape.

00:51:43I'm pretty close.

00:51:44Oh.

00:51:44Oh, yeah, you are.

00:51:45You are.

00:51:46He was.

00:51:47Hey, tie this.

00:51:48I think I could beat you in a game today.

00:51:51You wanna play one on one?

00:51:53Dude, I'm not playing.

00:51:57No!

00:51:58He can't hit like that.

00:52:00Swag it.

00:52:01Pull it out.

00:52:01Unbelievable.

00:52:02The disrespect.

00:52:03The disrespect.

00:52:09No!

00:52:11That's off.

00:52:12No, that's off.

00:52:15I beat him.

00:52:16Oh!

00:52:17Good scream by Pasoli.

00:52:18I did it.

00:52:19I beat Mark Titus.

00:52:20He won nine to three.

00:52:21I'm in a costume.

00:52:22This was a costume?

00:52:24I want you to do the gauntlet.

00:52:25I think you can do it.

00:52:26Put me on.

00:52:28All right.

00:52:29Yeah, yeah, you're here.

00:52:29Here we go.

00:52:30Kick your way.

00:52:31Oh.

00:52:32Another one.

00:52:33Grab it.

00:52:34Oh.

00:52:35Oh, no.

00:52:36Oh.

00:52:38You can kick from anywhere.

00:52:41Oh.

00:52:44Oh, no.

00:52:45Oh, no.

00:52:45Oh, Malasek.

00:52:46Oh.

00:52:47Oh.

00:52:48Oh.

00:52:49Oh.

00:52:50Oh.

00:52:51Oh.

00:52:52Holy shit.

00:52:53Oh, my God.

00:52:54Oh, my God.

00:52:55Oh, no.

00:52:56Oh, my God.

00:52:56Oh.

00:52:57Oh.

00:52:58Oh, my God.

00:52:59Get him a ball.

00:53:00Malasek.

00:53:01He's got it.

00:53:02That killed me.

00:53:03Oh, dude.

00:53:04Oh, no.

00:53:05Oh, no.

00:53:06Oh, hit it.

00:53:06Oh.

00:53:07Oh.

00:53:08Oh, my God.

00:53:09Oh, my God.

00:53:10No, Pat.

00:53:11One second.

00:53:12Come on, Pat.

00:53:13Okay.

00:53:14Go.

00:53:14There it is.

00:53:15500.

00:53:16Oh.

00:53:18Okay.

00:53:18And if I miss.

00:53:19Oh.

00:53:20Send push-ups anytime I want.

00:53:22Next 24 hours.

00:53:23You can go this way.

00:53:24Go this way.

00:53:25Pat's giving $500 to anybody

00:53:26that can get a push-up.

00:53:27Her office, yeah.

00:53:30Oh.

00:53:31Oh.

00:53:31All right.

00:53:32All right.

00:53:34Here you go.

00:53:35Yep.

00:53:36Oh.

00:53:37Play with me.

00:53:39Don't play with me.

00:53:40Run me my five.

00:53:41Oh, my God.

00:53:42Run me my five.

00:53:44Easy.

00:53:45Easy.

00:53:46Wow.

00:53:47With the hat, four, two.

00:53:49That's impressive.

00:53:50That's impressive.

00:53:51Put that on my highlight reel.

00:53:52Because I'm not going to make another shot

00:53:54for the next year.

00:53:55Bro, you got that shot on camera?

00:53:56The whole exchange?

00:53:58Bro, I should have jumped on the table.

00:54:00This is unbelievable.

00:54:01This is amazing.

00:54:02And that's where Jersey Jerry

00:54:03hit his hole-in-one right there?

00:54:05The spot where he fucking sat for 36 hours

00:54:08trying to get a hole-in-one.

00:54:10Is this where?

00:54:11This is Chef Donny.

00:54:11Chef Donny.

00:54:12It's that one right there?

00:54:13Chef Donny had to cook up for everyone.

00:54:16Were you involved in designing the whole thing?

00:54:18Yeah, oh yeah.

00:54:18I mean, who designed it?

00:54:19It's beautiful.

00:54:20Oh, wow.

00:54:22Damn, what a cozy office.

00:54:24The new New York office was legit at the beginning,

00:54:27but this is something else.

00:54:28Has anybody plowed on this couch yet?

00:54:30Nicky Smokes.

00:54:31He plowed?

00:54:32He's always getting laid, that guy.

00:54:34He must have a magic tongue and a huge wrench.

00:54:37Hey, are you producing?

00:54:40No, we're doing crosswords.

00:54:42Oh.

00:54:43Never heard of them?

00:54:44No.

00:54:45First of all, these sports books

00:54:45that DraftKings are doing, incredible.

00:54:47Just an overall incredible day.

00:54:49Oh, Mincy's great.

00:54:50I love chatting with him.

00:54:51I don't really know much about the part of the world

00:54:53that he's from in Mississippi and all those,

00:54:55or is he from Louisiana?

00:54:57He was talking about Old Miss,

00:54:58like it was the Catholic church

00:55:01and that you have to go there.

00:55:02Nicest campus in North America, he told me.

00:55:05Is he full of shit?

00:55:06Most likely, yeah.

00:55:07Yeah.

00:55:08He said Louisiana's got some of the best cuisine

00:55:10on the planet.

00:55:11Now, once again, he could be blowing smoke up my ass,

00:55:13but a lot of interesting things with Mincy

00:55:15in that conversation,

00:55:16and I actually am supposed to go smoke a bone

00:55:18with him right now if he's around.

00:55:21What's up?

00:55:21Hey.

00:55:22What's up, man?

00:55:23Yeah, doing good, man.

00:55:24You got a couple bones on you?

00:55:25That's all?

00:55:26Yeah.

00:55:26I mean, I don't know.

00:55:29No, no, no.

00:55:29I didn't bring that.

00:55:31I don't know.

00:55:32I don't know.

00:55:32I, I, I got no idea what you're doing here.

00:55:35I got no comment on it.

00:55:38All I wanted was just some soup for lunch.

00:55:40Look how much soup there used to be, okay?

00:55:41Look at all that soup.

00:55:42Now, come here and look at this.

00:55:43It's gone, and so I went out there

00:55:45and I accused Blutman, which I feel bad about,

00:55:47but he's been talking a lot about soup

00:55:48and being a new fake soup guy,

00:55:49so I accused him,

00:55:50and then Hank happened to be right next to me

00:55:52and said, oh, wait, are you looking for your soup?

00:55:54I told Pete he could have some.

00:55:56So Hank gave Pete all my soup.

00:55:58Well, Pete was here last week.

00:55:59There was a bunch of soups in there.

00:56:00We've had them for a couple of weeks.

00:56:01I know, I know.

00:56:02Those are my lunches that I eat every day.

00:56:04I told Pete he could have some.

00:56:05I didn't think he was gonna take 12.

00:56:06I don't think he took 12.

00:56:07What gave you the right to tell Pete he could have my soup?

00:56:09Because there was 15 soups in there.

00:56:12That I eat for lunch every day.

00:56:13I was looking forward to having a nice,

00:56:15a nice clam chowder for lunch,

00:56:17and I can't have clam chowder anymore

00:56:18because it's all gone.

00:56:19I never even got to try the loaded baked potato.

00:56:21Hello?

00:56:22Pete?

00:56:23Yeah?

00:56:24How much soup did you take from the fridge?

00:56:25I think I took two.

00:56:27You took two?

00:56:28That's it?

00:56:30How many were in there when they were in there?

00:56:3212-ish.

00:56:33So where's the rest of the soup, Pete?

00:56:35There's two left, and they're the tomato soups,

00:56:38which nobody likes.

00:56:39Pete, why did you ask Hank if you could have all my soup?

00:56:42I didn't know they were your soups.

00:56:44I was wondering if they were like part of an ad deal.

00:56:48Did Hank tell you that they were my soups?

00:56:50He said no.

00:56:51Said that they just got sent.

00:56:52I was like, there's so many in there.

00:56:54Do you think it's a coincidence

00:56:55that you started giving away my soup last week,

00:56:57and now all the soup's gone?

00:56:58Yes.

00:57:00Yes.

00:57:00All right, Pete, I don't blame you.

00:57:02It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong,

00:57:03but I do blame Hank.

00:57:04That's fair.

00:57:05Okay, all right, thank you, Pete.

00:57:07I thought we had an excess of soup.

00:57:08I figured we had so many that by the time,

00:57:10you know, they expired that...

00:57:11What do you mean, we?

00:57:13It's my soup.

00:57:14They were in the communal fridge.

00:57:15I had soup.

00:57:16I had soup.

00:57:17You didn't have soup.

00:57:18Why'd you take it home?

00:57:19Because I eat it for lunch every day.

00:57:20You did put it in the communal fridge.

00:57:21Donnie told me that could be my soup fridge.

00:57:23It literally says,

00:57:24leftover here, free to take home,

00:57:26must clean out every Friday.

00:57:28The fact that you even got through two weeks with them,

00:57:30is a blessing.

00:57:31I guess everybody respected my soup fridge,

00:57:32except for you.

00:57:33Did you take any?

00:57:34No.

00:57:35I'm on the hook for two of Pete's soups,

00:57:37but we gotta figure out who took the other ones.

00:57:40I don't trust Hank.

00:57:40Hank already got caught in lie.

00:57:41He already got given away my soup.

00:57:43I don't trust him at all.

00:57:44Max, for obvious reasons.

00:57:46What if Rico just parachutes in here,

00:57:48steals all my soups and leaves?

00:57:49Do you see anyone eating soup?

00:57:51No.

00:57:51You know what the problem is?

00:57:52He doesn't even like soup.

00:57:53He's a fake soup guy,

00:57:54so he has no reason to steal soup.

00:57:56Ah, thanks, guy.

00:57:57I haven't adventured into the soup galaxy.

00:58:01Also, you have to like make the soup, though.

00:58:03You have to like put-

00:58:04Microwave it.

00:58:05Yeah, I can't do that.

00:58:06You can't microwave things?

00:58:07I microwaved a bowl I forgot to put water in

00:58:09while I was making oatmeal.

00:58:10I also don't like microwaved food,

00:58:12so it wouldn't be me.

00:58:14I could help you try and find whoever this is,

00:58:17but I'm no detective.

00:58:18We want you to get the weight of this nation behind you.

00:58:21Yeah.

00:58:22As we know, PFT loves soup.

00:58:24There's been a heist,

00:58:25and it's literally 12 things of soup that are gone.

00:58:28Were they in individual little containers?

00:58:30Yeah.

00:58:31Kate, did you take the soups?

00:58:32No.

00:58:33Kate.

00:58:33But I think I know-

00:58:34And you love soup.

00:58:35I think I know who took her soup.

00:58:36Did anybody-

00:58:37They had a large cardboard box with the soups,

00:58:39and they were so excited.

00:58:40Oh, you saw?

00:58:41Somebody was like, oh, no.

00:58:43Who are you protecting right now?

00:58:44It's definitely a woman.

00:58:46Chaps?

00:58:46Yeah, you'd be protecting a woman.

00:58:48Yeah.

00:58:48Is it Chaps?

00:58:49Oh, is it Chaps?

00:58:50Is it Chaps?

00:58:51Can I call him?

00:58:52He's-

00:58:53Oh!

00:58:5312 soups!

00:58:54What was the food that you took home on Thursday?

00:58:56Soup.

00:58:57How many soups?

00:58:59Did Hank tell you you could take those soups?

00:59:01It's in the refrigerator that says, take home.

00:59:04Chaps is in the clear if the sign is on the fridge.

00:59:07The doughnuts was very good,

00:59:08and the chicken and wild rice was even better.

00:59:09I know, it's so good.

00:59:12Sorry, Chaps.

00:59:13Chaps is the worst person to have this happen.

00:59:14Okay, yeah.

00:59:15He will show zero remorse.

00:59:17Everything about this whole situation, unacceptable.

00:59:20I mean, if you're going to put a bunch of soups in there,

00:59:23and it clearly states on the refrigerator

00:59:25that it's for free, do it.

00:59:27And I know people are saying, oh, it's Friday.

00:59:29No, that's not what it says.

00:59:30It says things are going to be thrown out on Friday.

00:59:33So you got to pick it up before.

00:59:34If you have potato soup, I'm taking it.

00:59:37If you have corn chowder, I'm fucking taking it.

00:59:39There is not an ounce of remorse.

00:59:41The only thing I want to clarify,

00:59:43I didn't take 12, I took four, and I would do it again.

00:59:46I know PFT wanted it, but he can go fuck himself.

00:59:48I don't apologize at all.

00:59:49He told me in a text message

00:59:51that he primarily blames Hank.

00:59:53I'm embracing my new Chicago residency.

00:59:55I got my Cubs cap on.

00:59:56It's opening day.

00:59:58And what's more American, or Chicago on opening day?

01:00:00There's an iPad.

01:00:02It's a coconut black.

01:00:03An iPad.

01:00:03All right, we got like 27 of them.

01:00:05Strategy, I would rather overcooked them

01:00:08than undercooked them,

01:00:08because nobody likes a frozen hot dog.

01:00:10A little char, it can kill anyone.

01:00:11All right, continuing on with Hank TV here.

01:00:13We're in the kitchen.

01:00:14Mincy's in here.

01:00:15What's going on in here, Mincy?

01:00:16It's opening day.

01:00:18What is more, and I'm a Chicago resident now.

01:00:20I'm looking for something to grill this damn hot dog.

01:00:22All right, there we go.

01:00:23Have we found a pan yet?

01:00:24All right, this is probably optimal.

01:00:28I was just seeing which stove he had turned on.

01:00:31Did I turn on the back one?

01:00:34I think he had it right.

01:00:35He had it right, and then just changed it,

01:00:37and now has it wrong.

01:00:39Is it something smoking?

01:00:40Yeah.

01:00:41I don't feel like this is very hot.

01:00:44This should be hotter.

01:00:45All right, so just look for the burner that is smoking.

01:00:49That might be the one that's on.

01:00:54There you go.

01:00:55So what I asked you just to double check the burners,

01:00:57you went and just turned the right one off,

01:00:59and then turned the wrong one on.

01:01:01We are now cooking with gas.

01:01:02Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:01:03No, that was on high.

01:01:04That thing's like, was about to start a fire.

01:01:05We don't need to go village, y'all.

01:01:07We didn't start the fire here.

01:01:08We don't think you should use that pan.

01:01:09Okay, well, then what pan can we pick?

01:01:11Is there any other pans?

01:01:12Are there any other pans in here?

01:01:13Uh, I have my cast iron stuff.

01:01:16I mean, it could be anywhere.

01:01:17It could be like pans.

01:01:18Other, oh.

01:01:20Oh, yeah, okay.

01:01:20You want me to use one of these?

01:01:21Yeah, you could just use one of those.

01:01:23Just use one of those.

01:01:26Have you finished cooking these on this one,

01:01:28and then we're gonna switch.

01:01:29I'm gonna err on the side of overcooking.

01:01:32Because nobody likes a frozen hot dog.

01:01:33Thinking I'm about to take these off.

01:01:35Think they're cooked enough.

01:01:36Think so.

01:01:39This is cold.

01:01:41Cold?

01:01:42Oh, yeah.

01:01:43Take a bite.

01:01:44Oh, my God.

01:01:45What happened to the whole thing?

01:01:46Dang it, dang it.

01:01:48Dang it, all right.

01:01:49Dang it, dang it.

01:01:50Well, we gotta stick to the plan better.

01:01:53I'm getting rid of this fucking freaking glove.

01:01:55Maybe I'm a slow starter.

01:01:56So, second inning, you know,

01:01:57you get through the tough first inning.

01:01:59You know, a lot of starting pitchers are like that.

01:02:01You know, you kinda just gotta get

01:02:02through the rough first inning,

01:02:03and then you settle down.

01:02:04I think we have an ad for the Yak,

01:02:06but you don't have to say, like, any of the brands.

01:02:07You just have to explain what you're doing again.

01:02:09Can you do that for me?

01:02:10Cookin' some Chicago dogs, it's opening day.

01:02:12As a proud Illinois resident.

01:02:14All right, I think we've got an improvement, boys.

01:02:16These don't look unedible.

01:02:20I think we got some improvement here.

01:02:21Thank you.

01:02:23Vince, what was the strategy on these?

01:02:25Thank you.

01:02:25Just cook them longer.

01:02:26All right, get cookin' again.

01:02:28All right, another round?

01:02:29Yep.

01:02:29Another round for fellas?

01:02:30Yep.

01:02:31All right.

01:02:32Not hot.

01:02:33Cook them even longer, Mincy.

01:02:36Cook them even longer.

01:02:38Good.

01:02:43What's up?

01:02:43So, that's what we got.

01:02:45We just got day one shooters now.

01:02:46Should I challenge this guy?

01:02:48He's 0 for 2 right now.

01:02:51Starting to look good.

01:02:52Starting to look good.

01:02:53Who are you shooting threes against?

01:02:53I'll go against Titus, that'll be fun.

01:02:55Walk into the show right now and challenge him.

01:02:56Is he here?

01:02:57He's here a lot.

01:02:58All right, after this rack, after this rack.

01:03:00Try that.

01:03:03All right, where's his office?

01:03:04I need some directions here.

01:03:06Hey, man, when are we getting a three-point contest?

01:03:08Oh, my God.

01:03:09Let's go.

01:03:10I'm not as young as you.

01:03:11No, we'll probably do it.

01:03:12I gotta warm up.

01:03:13We'll do it.

01:03:13I mean, I'm loose right now.

01:03:15Are you talking to Titus or are you talking to me?

01:03:16I gotta go through my warm-up routine,

01:03:18which is gonna take at least four hours, honestly.

01:03:20But I'll do it.

01:03:21He's talking, he's talking.

01:03:22Yeah, I mean, I have to do it.

01:03:23I am the Chili's three-for-me three-point champion.

01:03:26When do I get the trophy?

01:03:27That's what everyone's asking, and I feel like...

01:03:30I don't know if it's in here pretty good.

01:03:31God damn it, I'm gonna have to get

01:03:32Jack Colkey my trophy, aren't I?

01:03:34Yeah.

01:03:35Fuck.

01:03:35You met Blood?

01:03:36I have not, no.

01:03:37This is Blood.

01:03:38What's up, my man?

01:03:39Hello.

01:03:40Nice to meet you.

01:03:41We kind of met last night.

01:03:41Oh, true, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:03:43He was telling me he used to be

01:03:45a college basketball aficionado.

01:03:47Yeah, former top five college basketball mind

01:03:49in the game since last season.

01:03:52I got into golf and tennis.

01:03:54Okay, fair enough.

01:03:55You know, I was a fan of Oakland back in the day.

01:03:57I used to have an Oakland sweatshirt.

01:03:58Really?

01:03:59I don't think anyone else here could say that.

01:04:00That's a real one right there.

01:04:02Back when I was in Vegas.

01:04:04Appreciate that.

01:04:04That's love.

01:04:05Well, you could also shoot from anywhere on the court,

01:04:07except layups.

01:04:08I can't make layups.

01:04:09Yeah, layups are overrated.

01:04:10I can't make free throws either.

01:04:11Can I see a jumper?

01:04:21We're locked in.

01:04:22He said.

01:04:24No, I'm not.

01:04:25There's no way.

01:04:26Three, two, one, go.

01:04:32Oh!

01:04:33Here we go.

01:04:34Here we go.

01:04:35Let's go.

01:04:37Oh, that was a nice shot, though.

01:04:41Take it in.

01:04:44Oh!

01:04:47Yeah!

01:04:50Oh, there it is!

01:04:51Oh, that's good.

01:04:53Oh, what a shot!

01:05:00Oh my God.

01:05:00Uh-oh.

01:05:03All right, let's go.

01:05:04Here we go.

01:05:05Oh my God!

01:05:05Oh!

01:05:06Oh my God!

01:05:07Oh my God!

01:05:08Don't get hurt!

01:05:10Brandon, that's been my biggest fear.

01:05:13Oh no.

01:05:15Ow.

01:05:16Brandon, you all right?

01:05:17I'm all right, I hurt my finger.

01:05:19Oh no!

01:05:22Brandon.

01:05:23I knew you got hurt.

01:05:24Actually, the design of the course is probably poor.

01:05:26How are you, dog?

01:05:27He knows us all.

01:05:28He called Titus Shooter.

01:05:29The greatest compliment ever.

01:05:30What up, legend?

01:05:31How are you, man?

01:05:32Jesus Christ, you know my name?

01:05:33How you doing?

01:05:35What's up?

01:05:36Connor, nice to meet you.

01:05:36What's up, man?

01:05:37Max, nice to meet you.

01:05:38He knows everyone.

01:05:40He just said, zah, what up, legend?

01:05:41AC, big fan, man.

01:05:43Nah, big fan of you, bro.

01:05:44I'll turn a universe,

01:05:45and I'll live like my dream job.

01:05:46Yeah, I mean.

01:05:48Well, you live our dream job.

01:05:49Yeah, I know, that's what I'm saying.

01:05:50We could just trade for like a week.

01:05:51Yeah.

01:05:52You wanna play a hole,

01:05:53or do you wanna hit the driving range?

01:05:54Let's just play a hole, screw it.

01:05:55We'll just jump in.

01:05:58Here we go.

01:05:59That's a beautiful shot.

01:06:00Decent.

01:06:05There it is.

01:06:06There you go, good putt.

01:06:07Fuck it.

01:06:09What club was that?

01:06:11Six iron?

01:06:12Crushed it.

01:06:12Crushed that six iron.

01:06:13Oh my God.

01:06:14Yeah, I'm not an excuses guy.

01:06:16Never been.

01:06:16But like, the ones that are like,

01:06:18sneaking a little right.

01:06:22There you go.

01:06:22311 yards.

01:06:24Easy game.

01:06:27That's perfect.

01:06:28Whenever you wanna hit, let us know.

01:06:29Yeah, I will.

01:06:30Yeah, literally anytime.

01:06:31I'll give you a key card if you want.

01:06:32No.

01:06:33All right, fellas.

01:06:34All right.

01:06:34Appreciate it, guys.

01:06:35Thank you.

01:06:36Sorry, what up, dude?

01:06:37How you doing?

01:06:38Hey, Rick, you wanna eat a jack?

01:06:39I need it.

01:06:40I need it.

01:06:40Let's go, Rick.

01:06:41Got it.

01:06:420.5.

01:06:44Rick said, he was like,

01:06:45we were like, did you meet Caruso?

01:06:47He's like, no, but I'll probably dap him later.

01:06:49You got it.

01:06:50I wanna dap.

01:06:51I wanna dap.

01:06:52What's up, man?

01:06:53I'm a big fan.

01:06:55Very busy week here in the office.

01:06:57As you can see,

01:06:58we're setting up for the Chicago mini golf open.

01:07:01We've taken the basketball court.

01:07:02We've put 18 holes of mini golf down.

01:07:04We're gonna do four rounds.

01:07:05$40,000.

01:07:06First is like 22.

01:07:08Second is 10.

01:07:09Third is six.

01:07:10Four is three.

01:07:11I think that's right.

01:07:12Somewhere around there.

01:07:13We got a lot of big people coming in.

01:07:14We got Whitney,

01:07:16Bustin' with the Boys,

01:07:17Kirk Minahan,

01:07:18the 4Play guys,

01:07:19bunch of people from New York.

01:07:20We also have probably the biggest celebrity

01:07:23in the history of this office coming in,

01:07:25and you can tell people cannot wait for them to get here.

01:07:28In the process of fighting this band,

01:07:31Dave doesn't want me to caddy for Biggie Daniel

01:07:34because I played last night.

01:07:38Oh!

01:07:40Let's go!

01:07:42You think you're gonna get a good advantage for Big Cat?

01:07:47I'm gonna need this.

01:07:57There's the flea.

01:08:00Say hello to everybody.

01:08:04She's such an angel.

01:08:05She got a little overwhelmed with the hotel

01:08:08in Arizona,

01:08:09but people are swarming her.

01:08:11She gets swarmed.

01:08:12You are a precious angel!

01:08:15Oh my gosh.

01:08:33This is everything I've ever dreamed of in my career.

01:08:36Peaches, you like the office?

01:08:38Good girl.

01:08:44She gets the star treatments.

01:08:53Oh, you're so sweet.

01:09:07You're stuck on the floor.

01:09:09You wanna see?

01:09:10Peaches.

01:09:11Mama, where are you going?

01:09:13Peaches!

01:09:15Hey!

01:09:17This is our office.

01:09:19Come here.

01:09:19What a good girl, and they got you a bed.

01:09:22They got everything.

01:09:25Now you just explode and get all the hugs here.

01:09:27Come on, come on.

01:09:29Good girl.

01:09:30Come on, we're going.

01:09:32Are we going?

01:09:33Come on, Peaches.

01:09:34Peaches.

01:09:36Come on.

01:09:37Come on.

01:09:38Good girl.

01:09:40Is there a lot of time foolery going on?

01:09:42People played already?

01:09:43On threes, hit 20 balls.

01:09:45Wow, that's not good.

01:09:46That's bad to hear.

01:09:47I don't want to point fingers.

01:09:48I think that's a DQ.

01:09:49No, you pointed the finger, right?

01:09:50Yeah, that's a DQ.

01:09:51You're gonna expect nothing more from Brandon Walker.

01:09:53That's exactly what you expect from Brandon Walker.

01:09:54I have a weird feeling I'm gonna be good.

01:09:57I'm gonna be really good or really bad.

01:09:59Francis.

01:10:02I can't, I can't.

01:10:03What?

01:10:05I don't care about people, like,

01:10:06because everyone was doing it.

01:10:07You just roll their putt back.

01:10:08But if Brandon was out in one hole for 40 minutes,

01:10:12that's probably gonna be a penalty.

01:10:14Blatant cheating.

01:10:14Blatant texted me this morning saying he won't play.

01:10:16If it's on you.

01:10:17Me?

01:10:18Will you leave the company?

01:10:19Everyone has the same intel that Jerry has.

01:10:21He was fucking live streaming it.

01:10:23I don't care if you guys are gonna be like.

01:10:24Get the fucking dog out of here.

01:10:26It's my company and she can do whatever she wants.

01:10:28I'd rather shitload of gum than the same.

01:10:30Ha!

01:10:32Kirk, don't shave, huh?

01:10:33Yeah, I have this for the show.

01:10:34This is a gum show, this is a Mickey Mouse show.

01:10:36That's not cheating.

01:10:37But I don't have a caddy telling me which angle

01:10:38to take off which rock to get it.

01:10:40For a hole-in-one challenge, you dummy.

01:10:42You think I'm trying to get a hole-in-one every time?

01:10:44Lucas, Ryan, anyone who's been playing this course,

01:10:46you get them to be their caddy.

01:10:48There are caddies out there.

01:10:49You guys, you're such a baby.

01:10:51I'm not a baby.

01:10:53Who, you?

01:10:54Yeah.

01:10:55I'm not a baby.

01:10:55Who said that?

01:10:56Clemmer.

01:10:57Clemmer said that.

01:10:58Brandon got one.

01:10:59That's what I heard.

01:11:00Who said I had one?

01:11:00Someone's like, two-stroke penalty for both.

01:11:02You and Brandon.

01:11:03That's what I heard.

01:11:04For what?

01:11:04Why do I have a two-stroke penalty?

01:11:05Clemmer said I did.

01:11:07Brandon Wong?

01:11:08Two-stroke penalty.

01:11:09Hey, Dave.

01:11:09No, no.

01:11:10The rules official gave him one, too.

01:11:12For what?

01:11:12For illegal caddy work.

01:11:14The rules official did not do that.

01:11:16What do you mean?

01:11:17He's the rules official.

01:11:18I heard that, too.

01:11:18For both.

01:11:19I mean, that's what I heard.

01:11:20For who?

01:11:21For Dan and Brandon.

01:11:22For what?

01:11:23For illegal caddy work.

01:11:23For, I haven't even started the tournament.

01:11:25You guys are lying.

01:11:26That's what I'm saying.

01:11:27I'm not lying.

01:11:28That's what we heard.

01:11:29I'm not lying.

01:11:30I wouldn't lie.

01:11:30I'll go find him.

01:11:36He's fucking their asses.

01:11:37Good lie, Dave.

01:11:38Good lie.

01:11:40He literally just goes, no, you don't.

01:11:42All right, let's send it over to the first tee

01:11:44for our final group.

01:11:47All right, two.

01:11:50A handy up.

01:11:51What a hole.

01:11:51A hominid, a hominid.

01:11:53We got a three-way race.

01:11:56Wow.

01:11:57Wow.

01:11:58It's a two.

01:11:59That's super cool.

01:12:00It's a major start for our leader

01:12:02who extends the lead to seven.

01:12:03Homina, homina, Jake.

01:12:07I think they got Frank shitting on that toilet.

01:12:10Oh.

01:12:10No way, no way, no way.

01:12:13Oh, this is getting crazy now.

01:12:16You're talking about Frank shits in his backswipe?

01:12:18Frank shits on that.

01:12:19You made him laugh.

01:12:21You said Frank detects shitting on the dude wipes.

01:12:23Yeah, because third round,

01:12:24I for some reason pictured him dropping a shit

01:12:27in that dude wipes toilet and I left it short

01:12:30just like you did.

01:12:31Make birdie, make birdie.

01:12:31Lock in, you gotta relax.

01:12:32It's not you.

01:12:33I want you to rush and lock in.

01:12:35I think he's in the big group.

01:12:37He's getting a little distracted.

01:12:38He's gotta stay focused.

01:12:40Second place, 10 grand to us.

01:12:41To the Whittneys and the Comptons

01:12:43and whoever the world, it's a lot of money.

01:12:44To me and the Mardis, 10 grand, a lot of money.

01:12:46Mardis is gonna be fine.

01:12:47He's gonna get in the money.

01:12:48He's gotta lock in.

01:12:48Gamer.

01:12:49Gamer.

01:12:50Gamer.

01:12:51Gamer.

01:12:52Gamer.

01:12:53Gamer.

01:12:54Gamer.

01:12:55Gamer.

01:12:56Gamer.

01:12:57Gamer.

01:12:58Yes!

01:12:59What do you wanna see?

01:13:02What a shot!

01:13:06Yes!

01:13:07Oh, that was beautiful.

01:13:08Thank God!

01:13:09This is a volcano.

01:13:13Come on.

01:13:16Big putt, come on.

01:13:16Big putt.

01:13:17You don't even think about it.

01:13:19Oh, no.

01:13:20Thank God.

01:13:23Get in.

01:13:24Get in.

01:13:26Come on!

01:13:27With only two holes remaining, the second-place prize is $10,000.

01:13:34Pushed it. Oh my god.

01:13:36Oh my god.

01:13:38Oh, you still got it.

01:13:40Oh my god.

01:13:43God damn it.

01:13:46I pushed it. I just fucking fumbled.

01:13:50Oh my god.

01:13:51Oh my god!

01:13:52Yes!

01:13:53What a fucking goal!

01:13:56Let's go, Frankie!

01:13:57Goal!

01:13:59Let's go!

01:14:00At a time like this.

01:14:06Same thing.

01:14:07Get in!

01:14:08Goal!

01:14:10Fucking goal!

01:14:12Ow!

01:14:13Sorry, Frankie.

01:14:16Find it!

01:14:17Find it!

01:14:18Find it!

01:14:19Oh!

01:14:23Francis just hit a hole-in-one that was arguably a $10,000 putt.

01:14:26He now holds second place by one stroke.

01:14:29Marty or Frankie or someone's going to need a hole-in-one here.

01:14:32Francis looks to have secured the $10,000 second-place prize with that hole-in-one.

01:14:36Join us on 18th.

01:14:44What a goddamn runaway.

01:14:46Get in.

01:14:47Get in!

01:14:48Can he do it?

01:14:49Get in!

01:14:50Oh!

01:14:51Oh my god.

01:14:56No?

01:14:57He's got it.

01:15:05There he is.

01:15:06There he is!

01:15:07Go in!

01:15:08Oh!

01:15:10Holy shit!

01:15:16What a goal, man!

01:15:18Come on, Marty.

01:15:26Get in!

01:15:31Oh!

01:15:32Oh!

01:15:33Oh!

01:15:39You're going to make this one.

01:15:40You're going to make this one.

01:15:42Give it up for Marty.

01:15:44This was literally the one hole we were going to keep in the office.

01:15:47Oh, I went straight through, huh?

01:15:49Wow.

01:15:50I fucked that thing up.

01:15:54I know you came to our New York office.

01:15:56This is obviously a newer, better, way more fun space.

01:15:59You love saying that, don't you?

01:16:01Yeah, I do.

01:16:02You love doing some shit talking?

01:16:03It's like, New York sucks ass.

01:16:05Welcome to Cruiser.

01:16:06I miss it.

01:16:07I miss it, believe it or not.

01:16:08Hey, what's up, dude?

01:16:09Dude, thanks for coming.

01:16:10Yeah, man, thanks for having me.

01:16:11Nice to finally meet you in the flesh.

01:16:12Yeah, you get the whole tour.

01:16:13Yeah, this is fucking unbelievable.

01:16:14Last week, we did this whole court.

01:16:16We built 18-hole mini golf.

01:16:18We had a mini golf tournament.

01:16:19That's fucking...

01:16:20Yeah, it's pretty sick.

01:16:21I mean, it's like when you're a kid and you're like, what would I want to do for a living?

01:16:24If you wanted to put this down on paper, your teacher would be like, you're fucking dead.

01:16:27Dude, it's crazy.

01:16:28There's no way this is going to happen.

01:16:29The moment I had to, last week, that I had to, like, correct myself was we had an entire,

01:16:33this entire court was full of mini golf.

01:16:36And I was, like, kind of bummed out because I couldn't take, like, 300 threes.

01:16:40And I was like, wait, you got to just see, like, this is...

01:16:42But you see, that's the moment that you see, when you see people disconnected because they're

01:16:46so rich, and you're like, oh, they keep having those moments and not checking themselves.

01:16:50I've had a couple friends get so successful that they start complaining about private

01:16:54jets, and you're like, shut the fuck up.

01:16:56Shut up.

01:16:57I'm happy I'm Delta Diamond.

01:16:58Yeah, right.

01:16:59Gambling cave.

01:17:00What's up, man?

01:17:01What's going on?

01:17:02It's Jerry.

01:17:03Big fan.

01:17:04You're fucking hilarious.

01:17:05Appreciate it.

01:17:06Yeah, I love watching you.

01:17:07You make a crack up.

01:17:08Dude, why is he in a wheelchair?

01:17:09It does get off of an impression, but it's also, I get it.

01:17:11Yeah.

01:17:12Because if you just want to move around easy.

01:17:13Can I say, just live with it?

01:17:15Yeah.

01:17:16Just don't bump into anyone that actually has to have it.

01:17:18This is all business side.

01:17:19Boring.

01:17:20Boring.

01:17:21Sorry.

01:17:22We're not boring.

01:17:23He threw that out there and had no idea.

01:17:24More of that, Spider.

01:17:25Yeah.

01:17:26Spider, you fucked up.

01:17:27Yeah, I did.

01:17:28Nice to meet you, man.

01:17:29How are you?

01:17:30Are you a wrestling guy?

01:17:31Diehard.

01:17:32I found this out of fun.

01:17:33I saw that.

01:17:34The Al Snow hardcore holly?

01:17:35I wasn't going to say that.

01:17:36That's fucking sick.

01:17:37I thought you were.

01:17:38That's awesome.

01:17:39He's kind of a hot older guy, too.

01:17:40Yeah, dude's got a sick bod.

01:17:41Dude, wrestling fans always go a little gay.

01:17:42It always goes a little gay at the end.

01:17:43I'm not going to lie, dude.

01:17:44His physique's pretty nice.

01:17:45Are you any good at golf?

01:17:46I'm dog shit at golf.

01:17:47Dog shit at golf.

01:17:48Oh, we got the shit again.

01:17:49Oh, no.

01:17:50He's scared.

01:17:51Dude, say what up.

01:17:52He's the best.

01:17:53Even though it's shit on me.

01:17:54I don't know what to do.

01:17:55I don't know what to do.

01:17:56I'm just not looking.

01:17:57I'm just not looking.

01:17:58I'm just not looking.

01:17:59I'm just not looking.

01:18:00I'm just not looking.

01:18:01I'm just not looking.

01:18:02I'm just not looking.

01:18:03I'm just not looking.

01:18:04I'm just not looking.

01:18:05I'm just not looking.

01:18:06I'm just not looking.

01:18:07I'm just not looking.

01:18:08I'm just not looking.

01:18:09I'm just not looking.

01:18:10I'm just not looking.

01:18:11I'm just not looking.

01:18:12I'm just not looking.

01:18:13I'm just not looking.

01:18:14I'm just not looking.

01:18:15I'm just not looking.

01:18:16I'm just not looking.

01:18:17I'm just not looking.

01:18:18I'm just not looking.

01:18:19I'm just not looking.

01:18:20I'm just not looking.

01:18:21I'm just not looking.

01:18:22I'm just not looking.

01:18:23I'm just not looking.

01:18:24I'm just not looking.

01:18:25I'm just not looking.

01:18:26I'm just not looking.

01:18:27I'm just not looking.

01:18:28I'm just not looking.

01:18:29I'm just not looking.

01:18:30I'm just not looking.

01:18:31I'm just not looking.

01:18:32I'm just not looking.

01:18:33I'm just not looking.

01:18:34I'm just not looking.

01:18:35I'm just not looking.

01:18:36I'm just not looking.

01:18:37I'm just not looking.

01:18:38I'm just not looking.

01:18:39I'm just not looking.

01:18:40I'm just not looking.

01:18:41I'm just not looking.

01:18:42I'm just not looking.

01:18:43I'm just not looking.

01:18:44I'm just not looking.

01:18:45I'm just not looking.

01:18:46I'm just not looking.

01:18:47I'm just not looking.

01:18:48I'm just not looking.

01:18:49I'm just not looking.

01:18:50I'm just not looking.

01:18:51I'm just not looking.

01:18:52I'm just not looking.

01:18:53I'm just not looking.

01:18:54I'm just not looking.

01:18:55I'm just not looking.

01:18:56I'm just not looking.

01:18:57I'm just not looking.

01:18:58I'm just not looking.

01:18:59I'm just not looking.

01:19:00I'm just not looking.

01:19:01I'm just not looking.

01:19:02I'm just not looking.

01:19:03I'm just not looking.

01:19:04I'm just not looking.

01:19:05I'm just not looking.

01:19:06I'm just not looking.

01:19:07I'm just not looking.

01:19:08I'm just not looking.

01:19:09I'm just not looking.

01:19:10I'm just not looking.

01:19:11I'm just not looking.

01:19:12I'm just not looking.

01:19:13I'm just not looking.

01:19:14I'm just not looking.

01:19:15I'm just not looking.

01:19:16I'm just not looking.

01:19:17I'm just not looking.

01:19:18I'm just not looking.

01:19:19I'm just not looking.

01:19:20I'm just not looking.

01:19:21I'm just not looking.

01:19:22I'm just not looking.

01:19:23I'm just not looking.

01:19:24I'm just not looking.

01:19:25I'm just not looking.

01:19:26I'm just not looking.

01:19:27I'm just not looking.

01:19:28I'm just not looking.

01:19:29I'm just not looking.

01:19:30I'm just not looking.

01:19:31I'm just not looking.

01:19:32I'm just not looking.

01:19:33I'm just not looking.

01:19:34I'm just not looking.

01:19:35I'm just not looking.

01:19:36I'm just not looking.

01:19:37I'm just not looking.

01:19:38I'm just not looking.

01:19:39I'm just not looking.

01:19:40I'm just not looking.

01:19:41I'm just not looking.

01:19:42I'm just not looking.

01:19:43I'm just not looking.

01:19:44I'm just not looking.

01:19:45I'm just not looking.

01:19:46I'm just not looking.

01:19:47I'm just not looking.

01:19:48I'm just not looking.

01:19:49I'm just not looking.

01:19:50I'm just not looking.

01:19:51I'm just not looking.

01:19:52I'm just not looking.

01:19:53I'm just not looking.

01:19:54I'm just not looking.

01:19:55I'm just not looking.

01:19:56I'm just not looking.

01:19:57I'm just not looking.

01:19:58I'm just not looking.

01:19:59I'm just not looking.

01:20:00I'm just not looking.

01:20:01I'm just not looking.

01:20:02I'm just not looking.

01:20:03I'm just not looking.

01:20:04I'm just not looking.

01:20:05I'm just not looking.

01:20:06I'm just not looking.

01:20:07I'm just not looking.

01:20:08I'm just not looking.

01:20:09I'm just not looking.

01:20:10I'm just not looking.

01:20:11I'm just not looking.

01:20:12I'm just not looking.

01:20:13I'm just not looking.

01:20:14I'm just not looking.

01:20:15I'm just not looking.

01:20:16I'm just not looking.

01:20:17I'm just not looking.

01:20:18I'm just not looking.

01:20:19I'm just not looking.

01:20:20I'm just not looking.

01:20:21I'm just not looking.

01:20:22I'm just not looking.

01:20:23I'm just not looking.

01:20:24I'm just not looking.

01:20:25I'm just not looking.

01:20:26I'm just not looking.

01:20:27I'm just not looking.

01:20:28I'm just not looking.

01:20:29I'm just not looking.

01:20:30I'm just not looking.

01:20:31I'm just not looking.

01:20:32I'm just not looking.

01:20:33I'm just not looking.

01:20:34I'm just not looking.

01:20:35I'm just not looking.

01:20:36I'm just not looking.

01:20:37I'm just not looking.

01:20:38I'm just not looking.

01:20:39I'm just not looking.

01:20:40I'm just not looking.

01:20:41I'm just not looking.

01:20:42I'm just not looking.

01:20:43I'm just not looking.

01:20:44I'm just not looking.

01:20:45I practiced throwing a first pitch with Dave, so I'm guessing he didn't see Dave's performance.

01:20:49That's, yeah, that's the ironic part about this is, yes, I can throw things better than

01:20:5599.9% of humans on the planet.

01:20:58First pitch, that's a different animal.

01:21:00That's nothing but nerves.

01:21:01I choked.

01:21:02I choked last year.

01:21:06I give it a 4.3.

01:21:09So what is your advice to him going to be?

01:21:12Burn it.

01:21:13Burn it.

01:21:14Don't lob it.

01:21:15Burn it.

01:21:16Throw it as hard as you can.

01:21:17And per his Wikipedia page, it says that he played every sport in the book, so I'd imagine

01:21:21he knows how to throw.

01:21:22We'll see if he actually does or not.

01:21:24Also, they agreed when they walked in, it smells like fucking BO.

01:21:27Does it smell like ass in here?

01:21:29Yeah, dude.

01:21:30I'm not crazy.

01:21:31I think I'm just like, you guys are all nuts.

01:21:33It's just minor.

01:21:35Just based on Wikipedia, it says that you played sports growing up.

01:21:39Yeah, I dabbled.

01:21:41You dabbled, so you know how to throw.

01:21:44But it's been a while.

01:21:45Growing up, the first pitch is the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever done in my life.

01:21:48That's what I imagine, bro.

01:21:49My catcher was legit 6'7".

01:21:51I almost emerald him.

01:22:14Uh-oh.

01:22:15How's he look?

01:22:16I'm confident.

01:22:17I'm confident.

01:22:18Still up to the first pitch.

01:22:19Sore.

01:22:20We're going for viral, so I either need to throw the heat so hard that they want me

01:22:23to dress out, or maybe just air them out.

01:22:26Hit the kid in the back with the ball and knock the teeth out kind of thing.

01:22:30That's the thing.

01:22:31No one remembers the strikes for a first pitch, unless you actually do throw it 9'8 down

01:22:35the middle.

01:22:36If viral's the goal, it's something to consider, right?

01:22:40Yeah.

01:22:41Are you playing this weekend?

01:22:42Yeah.

01:22:43Rosemont.

01:22:44Rosemont.

01:22:45Hell yeah.

01:22:46Yeah, you want to go?

01:22:47What night?

01:22:48Tomorrow night, right?

01:22:49No, tonight.

01:22:50Tonight.

01:22:51Okay, I got a World Series Chicago 1700 main event this weekend, so I'm kind of in, like,

01:22:54mid-pitch.

01:22:55It's actually tonight.

01:22:56It's not tomorrow.

01:22:57Okay.

01:22:58Okay, man.

01:22:59Okay.

01:23:00What time?

01:23:01I know you always have an excuse, so I...

01:23:02I mean, I fucking...

01:23:03Put him on the spot.

01:23:04World Series Chicago, man.

01:23:05It's a pretty good excuse, no?

01:23:06He's going tonight.

01:23:07He's going tonight.

01:23:08I don't really want to talk to him.

01:23:09Me and Dave will kidnap him and invite him to the show.

01:23:11All right, so I'm going from here to soccer.

01:23:12Soccer.

01:23:13Soccer to...

01:23:14All right, now just take the first three.

01:23:15Yeah.

01:23:16Talk to me all a sec.

01:23:17Given that Greg is wearing a button-down and khakis, we set the over at 253.

01:23:22All right.

01:23:23Let's go.

01:23:24All right, ready, TJ?

01:23:25Yes.

01:23:26Three, two, one, go.

01:23:27Come on, Greg.

01:23:28Oh, it's open.

01:23:29Oh, no.

01:23:30I see why he was nervous.

01:23:31I see why he was...

01:23:32Oh, no.

01:23:33I see why he was nervous now.

01:23:34Get him the bags.

01:23:35Get him the bags.

01:23:36Oh, no.

01:23:37Get him the bags.

01:23:38Oh, no.

01:23:39Get him the bags.

01:23:40Oh, yeah.

01:23:41Hustle.

01:23:42Hustle.

01:23:43Hustle.

01:23:44Hustle.

01:23:45Hustle.

01:23:46Go.

01:23:47Go.

01:23:48Soccer.

01:23:49Soccer.

01:23:50Soccer.

01:23:51Is this guy a real fucking soccer player?

01:23:52Hey!

01:23:53Got me right in my schnoz, dude.

01:23:54It's fucking Greg Olsen.

01:23:55That's pretty cool.

01:23:56Hey.

01:23:57Hey.

01:23:58Hey.

01:23:59Hey.

01:24:00Hey.

01:24:01Hey.

01:24:02Hey.

01:24:03Hey.

01:24:04Hey.

01:24:05Hey.

01:24:06Hey.

01:24:07Hey.

01:24:08Get him.

01:24:09Get him.

01:24:10He's coming.

01:24:11No.

01:24:12Oh, he's got it.

01:24:13He's got it.

01:24:14He's counted it.

01:24:15Go.

01:24:16Go, man.

01:24:17Go.

01:24:18Go, go.

01:24:19I lost the big cap?

01:24:20Yeah, I have the record.

01:24:21I kind of want to do it again.

01:24:34I lost to Big Cat?

01:24:36Yeah, I have the record.

01:24:36I kind of want to do it again.

01:24:38If you want to do it again, you can do it again.

01:24:39I'll bet you, yeah, 100 bucks.

01:24:40You want to do it again?

01:24:41You want to do it again?

01:24:41100 bucks what?

01:24:42That you won't do better.

01:24:43I'll take that bet.

01:24:44Okay, all right.

01:24:45Kyle's set.

01:24:46Going again.

01:24:47I'm in.

01:24:48100 bucks.

01:24:49You're not going to do better.

01:24:50All right, we'll see.

01:24:50It all comes down to the corn hole.

01:24:52Three, two, one, go.

01:24:55Oh.

01:24:58Oh.

01:24:59Oh.

01:25:00Oh.

01:25:01Oh.

01:25:01Money.

01:25:02Oh.

01:25:03Oh.

01:25:04All right, Jake.

01:25:05All right, Kyle's set.

01:25:06Come on.

01:25:07Win us money.

01:25:08Oh.

01:25:09Oh.

01:25:10Oh.

01:25:11Oh.

01:25:12Oh.

01:25:13Oh.

01:25:14Oh.

01:25:15Oh.

01:25:16Oh.

01:25:17Oh.

01:25:18Yep.

01:25:18He's crushing it right now.

01:25:19And he's got a good stroke in basketball.

01:25:22Brutal.

01:25:23I just missed it.

01:25:24Like for a little too brave.

01:25:24Oh.

01:25:25Oh.

01:25:26Oh.

01:25:27Oh.

01:25:28Oh.

01:25:29Oh.

01:25:30Oh.

01:25:31Oh.

01:25:32Oh.

01:25:33Oh.

01:25:34He's a gamer.

01:25:35He's a gamer.

01:25:36Oh.

01:25:37Oh, no.

01:25:38Oh, shit.

01:25:39He's limping.

01:25:41Play to play.

01:25:42James Buchanan.

01:25:43Maria the Pint and the Santa Maria.

01:25:45Defender, goalie, attack, straight, full house,

01:25:48two of a kind, two pairs.

01:25:50I'm done, right?

01:25:52Full house.

01:25:53How many is that?

01:25:54Two pair.

01:25:55I'm done.

01:25:56Pair, I did it.

01:25:57I'm done.

01:25:57Done.

01:25:58I was done 10 fucking seconds ago.

01:25:59You gotta type faster.

01:26:01I was done at 146.

01:26:03That's part of the game.

01:26:04You gotta get a new typer back there.

01:26:05That was fucking bullshit.

01:26:07The second best time of all time in a suit.

01:26:10No big deal.

01:26:11They gave me 154,

01:26:12but I had gotten my 10 codes,

01:26:15like my 10 words,

01:26:16and it was taking them forever to type it all in,

01:26:18and the clock stopped when they finished typing it,

01:26:20but I rattled off 10 in a row,

01:26:23and at like 145,

01:26:25and they gave me 154.

01:26:27All right, I'm ready.

01:26:28Now we can move on to our day.

01:26:29You forgot something.

01:26:30What?

01:26:31You forgot your hug.

01:26:32Oh, y'all forgot your hug.

01:26:33Good to see you, man.

01:26:34Appreciate you, man.

01:26:35Great time.

01:26:36Thanks, dude.

01:26:36Did you throw it?

01:26:37I just missed it.

01:26:38Did you throw it?

01:26:39No, I didn't.

01:26:40Be honest.

01:26:41I swear.

01:26:41I don't do that.

01:26:42Are you a real goalie or something?

01:26:43I play lacrosse goalie,

01:26:44but you beat me.

01:26:46All right, now that I'm sweating,

01:26:47let's go meet.

01:26:48Let's go.

01:26:49How'd the Yak go?

01:26:50Come on, let's go.

01:26:50Second best time ever.

01:26:52Second?

01:26:53No big deal.

01:26:54What went wrong?

01:26:55Sweating.

01:26:56I'm in a butt now.

01:26:57Yeah, I guess so.

01:26:58Not the correct shoes.

01:26:58Pants aren't right.

01:26:59How many excuses do you want?

01:27:01I'll be up at 4 a.m. replaying that over and over,

01:27:03I guess.

01:27:04I was like, oh.

01:27:05I barely kicked it.

01:27:07I almost missed it.

01:27:08I know.

01:27:08I came in a little slow,

01:27:09and I think that's what fucked me up a little bit.

01:27:11All right, guys.

01:27:12Thank you, Marshall.

01:27:13Have a good one, guys.

01:27:13Take care.

01:27:14To be honest with you,

01:27:15I don't really know what Mincy's supposed to do.

01:27:16Like, when he's in the office,

01:27:18I don't know what he is even supposed to be doing.

01:27:21He does wake up Mincy, like, once a month.

01:27:23But then the rest of the day,

01:27:24he kind of just walks around and talks to people.

01:27:26You know, talks about Mincy,

01:27:27talks about concerts,

01:27:28talks about the Pelicans.

01:27:29They're out now.

01:27:30Are y'all gonna make the tournament still?

01:27:32So that's probably why he left,

01:27:33because he didn't have anything to talk about with people.

01:27:35He, I think he had a poker tournament last weekend,

01:27:38and then he had the Senate basketball game.

01:27:40He was playing for the New Orleans Senate.

01:27:42So he's been gone like a week.

01:27:44Six, five or six days.

01:27:45I don't know if they told Mincy

01:27:46he has to start posting videos,

01:27:47and then he said,

01:27:48I don't know how to edit,

01:27:49so there's a course that I'll help teach you.

01:27:50There is no chance in hell

01:27:53one video ever gets edited by Mincy.

01:27:56It doesn't matter who's teaching him.

01:27:57I don't think Mincy,

01:27:58I don't think Mincy has it yet.

01:28:00Do you see the three dots up in the right?

01:28:02Yeah.

01:28:03Click that.

01:28:04And save video?

01:28:05Save video,

01:28:06and then it should save to your phone, I believe.

01:28:08Okay.

01:28:09Got it.

01:28:10Okay, that's what I needed to do.

01:28:11I hit export.

01:28:12It didn't realize.

01:28:12Okay.

01:28:13All right, thank you.

01:28:14Yeah, that was how to download a video

01:28:15that Corey edited for him.

01:28:19You just had to click save video.

01:28:20I just said it perfectly.

01:28:21Mincy's content is just experiences for Mincy.

01:28:24Mincy came back.

01:28:25It's like, why is he coming back?

01:28:27What is he gonna do?

01:28:28This is exactly what you would expect him to do.

01:28:29So I'm not really surprised, angry, upset.

01:28:32Like, this is just par for the course with Mincy.

01:28:35Mincy had a charity basketball game in Louisiana.

01:28:38That'll be funny.

01:28:39If Mincy left on Tuesday and was back on Thursday,

01:28:43no big deal.

01:28:44He's gone for nine days.

01:28:46You're never gonna see a video

01:28:47because he's gonna edit it.

01:28:48He has 0.0 and Corey's the one that is taking it on.

01:28:521%.

01:28:52That's all I need.

01:28:53He's climbing Mount Everest with no equipment.

01:28:55You're never gonna see a video.

01:28:56I told him one thing yesterday,

01:28:57upload the videos to this folder.

01:28:59He just sent them to me.

01:29:00I was like, so we're not off to a good start.

01:29:02He said Tate sent him a video that he can't download.

01:29:05He also hit Maresh up

01:29:06and tried to get Maresh to do it for him.

01:29:08It's gonna be a rocky road.

01:29:10He can't down, not only can he not edit a video,

01:29:12he can't download a video someone sent him.

01:29:14Like someone sent him a Dropbox link

01:29:15and he said, I can't,

01:29:16I'm having a hell of a time downloading this.

01:29:19So to think that he's gonna be able

01:29:20to log into a computer, tough,

01:29:23then open Premiere

01:29:24and then actually know how to import a video,

01:29:26put the video in a timeline,

01:29:28edit it, export it,

01:29:30get it until he's able to tweet it.

01:29:310.000001.

01:29:34That would be Corey's greatest accomplishment

01:29:36if he edits more.

01:29:37And he also texted me and said,

01:29:39I'm waiting to go to Baton Rouge

01:29:40until after the Apple Kitchen meet me.

01:29:42So we might just do like a $25 show.

01:29:44For the amount of time that he spends

01:29:46up here talking on the phone in the afternoons,

01:29:48I thought it would be a smart decision

01:29:50to have him start to learn how to edit his own videos.

01:29:53I've realized since he couldn't figure out

01:29:55how to download a video from Dropbox,

01:29:58it's gonna be a long climb.

01:30:00I think we'll get like two a month.

01:30:02He's not gonna do it.

01:30:03So there was a time where Mincy came up to me

01:30:05and he was like, I wanna vlog more,

01:30:07I wanna be putting out my own vids.

01:30:08So I had this little mini camera for him.

01:30:11Goes down to Memphis where this thing is.

01:30:12Doesn't film a thing and leaves the camera

01:30:15in the trunk of his car.

01:30:17But I felt like as I was explaining to him,

01:30:19like I could tell he wasn't really absorbing

01:30:22what I was saying.

01:30:22Corey's gonna have to start with teaching him

01:30:24how to like drag things on a computer.

01:30:26I don't think he knows how to like film horizontally.

01:30:28The behind the scenes would be way better

01:30:32than the actual content.

01:30:33Who knows?

01:30:34Everyone deserves a second chance.

01:30:35So, well, Mincy gets a lot of chances.

01:30:38I would love to see him try.

01:30:39That's all I'm gonna say.

01:30:40This can't be that hard.

01:30:42Being dizzy is...

01:30:43Sucks.

01:30:44It's really hard.

01:30:45Okay, ready?

01:30:46Go.

01:30:55You got it.

01:31:00That was close.

01:31:10Keep going, go faster.

01:31:11Spin like the tickets, go faster.

01:31:16Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

01:31:33Keep going, Nassim.

01:31:46You guys finish.

01:31:54Put it on here.

01:31:55Now let it go.

01:31:56Now seal it.

01:31:57Fill them up from the front.

01:32:03Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

01:32:09All the way, fill it all the way.

01:32:10Don't do anything yet, don't do anything yet.

01:32:12Don't do anything yet.

01:32:13Oh yeah.

01:32:14Don't do anything yet.

01:32:15All right, on up, on up.

01:32:17Yup.

01:32:18All right, all right.

01:32:19Shoulder, which shoulder?

01:32:20We fill, we do one shoulder.

01:32:21Which shoulder?

01:32:21Let me do left.

01:32:22Left shoulder, all right.

01:32:23We fill, and then shoulder.

01:32:24We're gonna do one shoulder.

01:32:26Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

01:32:29Oh my God.

01:32:30Oh my God.

01:32:30Dip your shoulder more, Kyle.

01:32:37Oh, oh, oh.

01:32:39Okay, okay, okay.

01:32:41All right.

01:32:42Oh my God.

01:32:42Okay.

01:32:43Oh my God.

01:32:44Oh my God.

01:32:45Oh my God.

01:32:46Oh my God.

01:32:47Oh my God.

01:32:48Yes.

01:32:49Yes.

01:32:50Yeah.

01:32:51It's in the blue.

01:32:52Yeah.

01:32:53Yeah.

01:32:54Woo.

01:32:55Yes.

01:32:56Yes.

01:32:57Yes.

01:32:58Yes.

01:32:59Yes.

01:33:00Yes.

01:33:01Yes.

01:33:02What?

01:33:03What are you doing, Kyle?

01:33:04Should I get my head in there?

01:33:05No.

01:33:06No, no, no.

01:33:06No one's ever done that.

01:33:07No, no.

01:33:08No, no.

01:33:09No, no, no, no.

01:33:10You sure?

01:33:11That's good.

01:33:11All right, now seal it.

01:33:13Yeah.

01:33:14Oh

01:33:44Oh

01:34:14We can rest now

01:34:45It's

01:34:47The interns first week at barstool most are doing a good job at flying under the radar

01:34:52But one in particular is already making a name for himself

01:34:55Jacob basically we came in we gave them the good old tour like we do with everyone

01:34:59I made a couple comments as to if they asked you to do certain things

01:35:03You might just have to do it

01:35:04I think a couple of them took that as the gauntlet and then big cat and Hank

01:35:08Decided to have their welcome meeting told them to stay under the radar

01:35:12Jacob raised his hand immediately and asked if he was doing the gauntlet that day. I'm Jacob and I know I'm off to a rough

01:35:17Start. Yeah, this is the right I

01:35:19Wasn't asking to do it. I just wanted to ask if we were going to be asked to do it. So I was

01:35:26Yeah, right did anybody do a first day of work tick-tock actually you can get back if you do that for me tomorrow

01:35:31Get ready with me. Okay. Yeah, but just for personal use don't post it. Just send it to TJ

01:35:36Okay, all right, then Jacob decided to get back on big heads good side again and write him a handwritten note

01:35:43Jacob the intern

01:35:45It's quite something your BC. I'm sorry. It didn't leave you with a great first impression yesterday

01:35:50I promise I'm here to work for the benefit of the brand and not just myself

01:35:53I'll be better about asking silly questions using big unnecessary words

01:35:57And I promise I won't try to swerve out of my lane per your request. I sent the wake-up videos to TJ Jacob a

01:36:04He's special he's special we're gonna see cuz it's day two and it's like his intuition has been wrong on everything

01:36:11Which I told him like be yourself because if you're just a bad intuition guy, that's also something we can use

01:36:17Well, he's just so he's a rollercoaster so far started bad first impression

01:36:20Down then he told us that he tried out for Florida football team after never playing it down a football

01:36:26He did four straight tryouts four years straight every time I got the email like we decided to go in a different direction

01:36:31Hope to see you at the next one. I was like you will see me tonight. Yeah, all right

01:36:35That's actually kind of badass. I like I love yeah, so he's back up then the card brought him back down

01:36:41So we'll see what the afternoon holds, dude

01:36:44You're just gonna keep you just keep doing stuff, huh?

01:36:48What I do now

01:36:49He wrote he wrote me a note saying sorry for the bad first impression. Oh, no, we were clean slate

01:36:55I was now we're back to negative. I'm just trying to keep now my why did you?

01:36:59The number one thing I was told when coming in here is be authentic. So that was something that I would do

01:37:04You know, I like you would

01:37:07You need to know it was first day. I got a little jittery. Here's here's a tip

01:37:12Okay, if I make fun of something publicly, you're not actually in trouble

01:37:16Like if I pulled you aside and been like hey, dude, why the fuck did you ask about the gauntlet?

01:37:20That would have been bad. I wouldn't have done that. But if I was like, hey this we got this weirdo

01:37:25First second on the job. He was like, can I do the gauntlet?

01:37:29Dad when I say out loud that means that's a laughing matter. We can all laugh about it. He wrote me a note

01:37:34Apologize don't write it. No. Yeah

01:37:37Just said it when he misinterpreted me yesterday because I asked if they were gonna make interns do the gauntlet he

01:37:43Interpreted it as me asking to do the gauntlet

01:37:45But it was my fault because I was a little nervous and I worded the question of one word, which was just gauntlet

01:37:50So, I don't think big cat liked it very much

01:37:53I'm a social intern. I'm not content. So I'm not trying to really go up from here. You'll be fine

01:37:58Just don't go back look around the office find the people that'll help you keep going forward

01:38:03You know see what they say and then there's people who help you go backwards

01:38:06So we'll see who he seeks out basically don't ask Mincy what to do big cats out of the office

01:38:10Which means one thing uncle smokes is in charge and luckily for me. I got all the interns to myself today

01:38:16So we got to figure out what we're gonna do with them cats out of the office

01:38:20So I have the interns to myself hazing idea number one. I want to breed athletes

01:38:25I want more athletes at Barstool. So I want to weed out who's athletic who's not

01:38:29Why'd you say breed because I like to breed beast. Okay, dude, I think they have more job security than you

01:38:34I just got this time. They definitely don't I think the best the best way to get hired here

01:38:39You need to teach them that is to be a good hang so you can rip cigs with you get him drunk

01:38:43Yeah, get him really drunk. Get him fucking damn hammer. I'm hammered

01:38:46I want big had to come back and all the interns be passed out you think big cats gonna come back the office

01:38:50Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah. I think you need to be a mentor to them. All these people want full-time jobs

01:38:55So you needed to do what you do. You're a good hang. You're good vibes

01:38:58You need to teach them what you know best like my lingo teach him your lingo teach him your lingo in slime

01:39:04Big stepper, but don't they already kind of have a job right now till August. That's it. Summer interns an intern

01:39:12They don't all get hired. No, I need to set these kids up for the future. Yeah

01:39:17All right, so you should do this out of the goodness of your heart and teach them what you do, okay?

01:39:22All right, don't shit driving range. I don't really know why we have this or the other call simulator right there

01:39:29All male interns, I repeat all male interns born with penis

01:39:36Report to basketball court immediately all male interns report to basketball court. Thank you very much

01:39:47Yeah, I was building a soccer hoop and now I got a

01:39:54All right, we're off to a good start got a couple drills that I want to do with you guys you're gonna start here

01:40:00He's gonna throw the ball boom ball run ball ball got it. Yeah great there we go

01:40:23Hit him in the fucking face

01:40:29Oh

01:40:34And don't stop running till we change drills just go

01:40:44Keep running next thing we got

01:40:47Agility training give me one good rep and you're done. Give me shit rep and you'll be joining fucking Arizona boy over here

01:40:55All right, let's go last one takes a lap don't be laughs ready to go

01:41:08Yes, oh my god, there's no way you run cross-country. Oh, I did it fresh with your

01:41:16Dog shit take a lap. I'll take his lap. I'll take it back brother

01:41:21I

01:41:24Basketball very important in this office every Friday. We play basketball. There's no Giants in this office, but there is beast and I'm one of them

01:41:51All right layups, you know what a layup is

01:42:00Hitting the noodle so soft

01:42:20Jake Malasek

01:42:22Guy with the camera huge nutsack

01:42:25Stands in that net. He takes a beating every single day. We need to find his possible replacement

01:42:30God forbid he tears his ACL

01:42:32You guys will be getting in goal and I'll be ripping fucking piss missiles at your dome and you have to save them

01:42:50Oh

01:43:01Let's do that everyone everyone in that okay, this is DAPA up training very important traditional rules up down chug

01:43:10ladies

01:43:11Come with me. I'm gonna sit here

01:43:14And I want an uncrossable whoever gets the crust

01:43:18Off the uncrossable the best wins and they're sick. That's outraged. No way. Well, I can't do a period competition

01:43:25All right arm wrestle competition. Yes

01:43:31Just the women yes

01:43:35It was a joke because everyone's like, oh

01:43:38Women they belong in the kitchen like Rico makes that joke all the time. Oh Kelly Keith bring me a sandwich

01:43:42I'll just make

01:43:45Well, Tommy so much does it every fucking week all of his skips there's one sexist joke in it, it's fine

01:43:53I asked the intern I go big cat actually get you a nice coffee. What did you say? He said fuck that

01:43:58I got the clip. I'm posting it. I wouldn't ask someone to give me a nice coffee

01:44:02But if they did, you know what I'd say absolutely big cat you want ice in it cream and sugar or no

01:44:06That's what I would say. That's the type of guy

01:44:08I

01:44:15Would never say tell big cat to fuck off. I didn't say you told him to I didn't

01:44:20Here we go. Now. Let's let's do some basic like pop work training dummy. Phi fire say less pressure

01:44:28Anything that doesn't make sense would sound school big cat says he needs you to get you get him a nice coffee

01:44:33Fuck that

01:44:35That's a you and he said that on camera

01:44:39You got way too comfortable, bro. Take a lap

01:44:43Yeah, but you were being hostile to him, thank you, thank you

01:44:47You were saying non-athletic and stuff. That was not him. That was this kid that fucking can't

01:44:55Slang

01:44:57Thank you, thank you. Thank you. I told you I'd be proven right you try to put a little effort in here

01:45:02Try to give a little Viva content. You just try to do nice things for people. You don't know what you get

01:45:07Fuck you up. Yes, that's what you get. Not many people just go like this

01:45:14Put me on next coach

01:45:16But in sharpie an M and a W

01:45:21Great initiative, that's my guy. Do you like Jake or Jacob?

01:45:26Jacob okay, he and I got off to a little rocky start. We're

01:45:30Good now, we're building something praise a little fucked up, which is a good thing here. So what we're doing today

01:45:36I walked into the women's bathroom

01:45:38two weeks ago

01:45:41Pause

01:45:42You just said you walked in a woman's bathroom

01:45:45I'm saying pause, but wouldn't that then that like the straightest thing you can do? Yeah, I guess so

01:45:50I'm doing my brain's a little fucked up. Like what I was like, yeah, I I just fucked a chick and you're like pause

01:46:00Okay

01:46:02So I walk in here a few weeks ago because they were the the cleaning lady was in the other than the men's bathroom and

01:46:09I see these trunks

01:46:10Apparently these have been here since we moved in and I'm pretty sure no woman has ever been in this bathroom. Look at it

01:46:16Come here. It's just completely pristine

01:46:19All the stalls look like they've never been used. We have I don't know 70 dudes and 10 girls

01:46:25So I'm trying to I was about to say I'm kind of annexing the women's bathroom

01:46:30So this would be a situation where once I take this do I get power hungry and just take all the women's bathrooms?

01:46:35But this one is my first one. So if so Jacob back to Jacob Jacob, I bought him these

01:46:41bouncer

01:46:43these bouncer

01:46:45Tickers and he's got a men's and women's one

01:46:48He's gonna sit here today and he's going to manually count

01:46:52The people that go in and out of the bathrooms and if we have like no women that go and use this bathroom

01:46:58It might be a double men's bathroom, so we're gonna do the annexation of this land

01:47:03Are you do you know anything about history? Yeah, that's a very American thing of us to do. Yeah patriotic. Yeah, that's true

01:47:10Okay manifest destiny. Yeah. All right, so

01:47:15Yo

01:47:19I'm confident. All right. I got my coffee beforehand. I brought a smoothie from home. I got snacks

01:47:25I will not leave my post. How do you think your first week? What?

01:47:28Oh, I think we're in a good spot like I kind of have a little I'm taking a little liking to you. Oh good

01:47:34Oh Oz

01:47:36There we go, hmm, there we go, okay

01:47:39You got it. I'm not leaving my book. I love that. I love that where it's a new bathroom real estate

01:47:46Ready for that more bathrooms for the boys

01:47:55Hey, we're doing some cleaning right now. We have a ton of them. Oh, what is it? Oh, fuck. Yeah

01:48:05Good

01:48:25I

01:48:43I'm not allowed to click you in now

01:48:46I'm only allowed to click in men and only a lot of click in woman

01:48:50So you won't be included in our study, but you're more than welcome to go

01:48:54Sorry, some crazy things happen around

01:49:07Nice Liam, I hope you're happy

01:49:09I hope you feel good about yourself

01:49:21What was the number before they can't where are the numbers that hold on I'm getting frazzled with big cat going in and out

01:49:3343 now

01:49:39Oh

01:49:45You like these sunglasses

01:49:47There's shady rays if you break them or destroy them, they'll send you a new pair for free. Yeah, they will

01:49:51This is my heaven. I just trying to choke the dog. Don't choke her you I already have great footage of this

01:49:57I just ran up and grabbed it by the throat. I was giving it

01:50:09I

01:50:26He's been training

01:50:40You're 16, but he was close you guys wait show him again. Hey, show him he can do your clothes. He was close

01:50:46I don't think you guys watch

01:50:48I don't think you guys were watching. What do you think? I don't know. I don't look like you'll be talking man by December

01:50:54Yeah, I didn't sleep last

01:51:00I saw both of them. They didn't have their eyes. They didn't see you were you were like four inches from the rim

01:51:09It wasn't how high he jumped it was the landing that were me how he landed all my shoes

01:51:18He wasn't one of those

01:51:24That's the hell of a feed if you dunking in December you got put some work in though

01:51:27You got to walk around office with them shoes

01:51:31Well, if you study if you start dunking on nine one foot is nothing yeah, I mean so I'll tell you start on nine feet

01:51:37You'll get it easy

01:51:46He's favorite person in the world, I don't know could be anybody could be a celebrity could be a

01:51:53politician

01:51:54Could be a family member

01:51:56Athlete Bren Walker, it could be anybody. Oh

01:52:00No, no, no. No, it's probably good that you don't know that actually basically runs this entire company

01:52:06Least favorite dead person. Yeah, they can't hear this anymore

01:52:10OJ Simpson because I've talked about this, too

01:52:13I don't know how you die knowing everybody wants to hear that from you and that's the one thing you don't do

01:52:18It's like you're dead. Why can't you and you know, you're dying. Why wouldn't you just tell everyone? Yes, I did it

01:52:23They're final confirmation. I was gonna say Hitler was my least favorite. I like that one. Okay, you like Hitler?

01:52:28No, no, no, no. No, it's a good answer though. Don't clip that weird. Okay, who's your favorite dead person?

01:52:35Huh, would you say maybe the guy who killed Hitler?

01:52:40Yeah plot twist. That was Hitler

01:52:43Jacob he's gonna make me a Doc Ock

01:52:46Hey

01:52:49Don't have to do it right this second just need it by tomorrow morning, you know Doc Ock spider-man. Oh, yeah

01:52:54Okay. Hell yes, you're right the right man for me. I need you to make me a Doc Ock

01:52:58like I saw duct tape and

01:53:01Silver spray-paint, you know exactly what Doc Ock looks like so it's like coming off on each side

01:53:06I don't care you can mangle this bag. This bag means nothing to me

01:53:09Okay, so you can use duct tape ever it's just as long as I can get it on my back

01:53:13I might have a problem with the power of the Sun

01:53:17Is that okay? I only watch spider-man with my kids. I don't know what the fuck you just said

01:53:22That's okay, but you're the man for the job. It feels like I think so

01:53:25Alright

01:53:28So I need tape well, so when we do it, yeah, we need to gather all of our supplies Oh mise en place and

01:53:35Cooking that's what that's called

01:53:38Mise en place

01:53:40Mise en place

01:53:41Doc Ock, you know, some people in prison would pay a lot of money for this

01:53:45I'm gonna let you cook cuz I don't really know what you're doing right now. I'm thinking like one two, three

01:53:51Three four irrational confidence has only failed me four times

01:53:56So can you recount those four times? Try out number one, two, three and four

01:54:01It's gonna take like a month. Okay, we're getting somewhere. I

01:54:06I'm gonna reinforce the shit out of this thing. Our plane isn't amazing

01:54:10But then again, I feel like that makes it more realistic. Are you fucking with the vision?

01:54:14Now

01:54:18We're cooking so these are gonna be our claws, that's what I'm thinking I

01:54:24Love that I get paid to do this. This is an awesome job here. I

01:54:32Just have to tape the claws on and then get it attached to the bag and then I just spray

01:54:39He knows web

01:54:44I'm gonna be real. This duct tape is kind of shitty

01:54:56I haven't I haven't even touched the pinball machine today, believe it or not

01:55:00My high score is about 500 million. That was the high score as of last Thursday

01:55:05We'll see I'd have to go check the machine and see if there are any challengers, but for right now

01:55:11I'm the best in the office. Look look, come on over. Here it is

01:55:17Guys

01:55:19524 million shout out max

01:55:21My boy max is second the whopping 400 million and then third

01:55:27Was my original high score as documented on this date? I'll have you know, okay, you're talking to the two-time champion

01:55:34Yeah, I'm Brook. Well as the grand champion holder look look

01:55:41Wait for it

01:55:48The grand champion

01:55:51Realize literally found. Yeah bow down. You're in the presence of greatness. I did I will say

01:55:56The grand champ, baby

01:56:04I just try to keep it

01:56:06Considering how bad you're playing 44 million

01:56:09I mean, yeah, there's only two buttons

01:56:14Played it. I walk by every time they it's just for you. No wonder you have the all the top three records

01:56:18Yeah, go ahead. Show me that. Yeah, so give me give me 10 hours of game plan

01:56:29Everyone else is over here supporting breaking records. You're a hater. You're a fucking

01:56:36Man see you come over here. I want to show you something. That's me grand champion, and I'm the loop

01:56:42And Malaya champ, so you would say you're a machine father. You're machines father. I'm the triple champ is what they're calling me

01:56:50The game is mostly long. I'm the grand champion

01:56:55All right, you don't gotta be a dick man, I'm trying to help I'm just gonna let that screensaver stay on that that's not even that good

01:57:06You'll be fine dude, I'm telling you you can beat that take a deep breath and stop being a virgin

01:57:10Out of respect for my high score and everyone else in the office

01:57:13I think I'm gonna refrain from playing pinball until someone challenges my score. So I set the record. We all know jacket getting it

01:57:26That may be the case, but I'm the high school holder so

01:57:29The fucking security guard beat my high score this morning

01:57:36Yeah, Rick he's claiming you beat my high score so now shit's on it's on site Rick

01:57:42So it's another busy week in the office

01:57:45Everyone is in town for trivia. There's two people that

01:57:49Clearly do not like each other and they're gonna have to meet face to face

01:57:53This is something that has been brewing for a long time

01:57:57He's been in a blog war take quit his job. He's moved here. We'll see what happens. I'm excited

01:58:02You met Keegs yet in person? No, I haven't. Are you planning on approaching her? You know, what let it happen naturally?

01:58:09I'm not sure what the

01:58:11What the moves gonna be I think

01:58:16We'll see who makes the first move I got no issue

01:58:18But I from what I've heard she's got some serious issues and we've seen that too

01:58:25We'll see how it goes first of all, I'm posted up on the top thing at a table

01:58:28I'm sitting next to Megan hanging out very much available to speak very much available for any sort of conversation

01:58:33I came here ready early in the morning really isn't my ideal time to be arguing

01:58:37But I was ready to do it if necessary and I've got nothing he's standing over there right now

01:58:40I'm just like it's kind of it's kind of weird

01:58:42I don't know if I'm supposed to now like I'm not gonna go up and like start a fight. I fucking hate him

01:58:46I hate his guts. I wish he was dead

01:58:47Like I thought I could watch I wouldn't just punch him in the face

01:58:49I would but here it is

01:58:50Everybody said he'd be milk toast wallpaper when I got here and that's exactly what he's gonna be

01:58:53So her is being and it's just shocking at this point. So I

01:58:57Don't know man

01:59:00She do her prediction

01:59:02Let's go Chicago. I might cheer extra loud for them. I'm trying to kill her with kindness. So I might overly cheer and

01:59:09Welcome back to the dozen trivia tournament for give a new member Kelly

01:59:13You have played 50 matches in this league Dave and chief. You've never won a tournament game

01:59:18It's the most in history of the league. I mean, I'm setting the stage, you know, here we go

01:59:23Let's play some trivia Russell Wilson

01:59:27Final answer to nothing. Oh boy. Don't have a final answer. Tell me about tournaments

01:59:32Becoming the Ricardos

01:59:36Other side Joe Harris final answer. That is correct a

01:59:41Tony Shalhoub final answer smoking moving on

01:59:45Big win great match. What a W. Holy shit, Nancy

01:59:49That's why we signed him and then traded back for him after we tried to trade him and Jeff wouldn't allow us to trade

01:59:53Um, that's exactly why we did that that sucked. I was rude. I'm devastated. I couldn't be more devastated like sick to my stomach

02:00:00She's good

02:00:01Hurts my heart to see her go down. She's good. She's good. You hate her. Yeah, like a Kelly greener

02:00:08Yeah, that looks like a Kelly green to me you like tell her she's a very good trivia player

02:00:13Oh, it's not about the color. Oh, it sounds like you're thinking about Kelly a lot might be just uh,

02:00:18jealous

02:00:20Green yeah, do you wish you were Kelly in trivia? Yeah, she's very good

02:00:24You guys talk zero talk one hallway pass and she gave me one

02:00:32Perspective

02:00:34Zero words spoken today. So I think we both just avoided fireworks on day one. She's a great trivia player though

02:00:41Great trivia player wish I could disappoint and see they lost because I could have seen more of that

02:00:46Oh

02:00:47Yeah, he's just always plays games. It's all laughing from up top when I'm doing my postgame show

02:00:53Great suit Jerry looks like shit. Fuck that guy. He's a piece of shit. I just want to torture him

02:00:59I should just kidnap him bring him to my house and just fucking tie him up and

02:01:04Just fucking do like a Chinese water torture on with the drop of water is going on the forehead

02:01:12We're smack

02:01:16Man I just I was just pointing something

02:01:19What's wrong with my suit? What's wrong? It's a custom jacket. What's wrong?

02:01:23No, it's not the guy did it for me. Look at the sleeves how perfect they are

02:01:26It's a custom fit. Look at the sleeves how perfect it is white t-shirt under it

02:01:31Like come on, you dress up my collar shirts were fucking wrinkled. I don't have an iron. We told you these are from London

02:01:37What are you talking about?

02:01:38UK you've never seen so it's like Canal Street in New York, but they just sell fake-ass shit. What how's your weekend skiing?

02:01:45Let's be in for me sober as hell

02:01:49Jackie drinks

02:01:5150s car. Holy shit

02:01:58Right

02:02:02All right, I don't think it's starting

02:02:15All right, stop guys stop, thank you guys

02:02:19Appreciate it. Fuck. This is not what I need before trivia

02:02:28She owes me an apology about me. He's hidden for two minutes. You're hiding from me

02:02:36Come come talk to me that asshole. Yes, I go like Chicago

02:02:40No

02:02:41No, cuz this is what he wants. He wants me to come in hot and yell at him and look bad

02:02:45That's exactly what he's doing. And if he wants to talk to me can talk to him here. I've been here this entire time

02:02:49I'm in his face. What are you gonna do? He's just meek little mouse running around hiding from me. It's like grow up

02:02:55I'm staying out on this one. I want no I got no fight what the dog in the fight?

02:02:59I got no point in the dog. I am just here with my popcorn

02:03:03Watching the show. I said my truth. I mean if you don't do it right now, it's gonna be a hash out

02:03:08I think we should do the rundown

02:03:10You know, what is the best at Barstool when there's drama and you have nothing to do with it. That is my favorite drama

02:03:15Why is that?

02:03:16What why would you say there's drama a drama but whatever is happening and I it's just like it's nice to have nothing to do

02:03:21With it. I just see what resolves

02:03:26Seven day bender tweeting at me 70,000 times

02:03:30She's crazy. I'm normal truth hurts. Don't come down. I want it is Dan care big cat T and Kelly won't

02:03:37Talk to each other. All right, we're gonna have him talk

02:03:41Stephen

02:03:46Kelly

02:03:48Kelly welcome

02:03:50Yes, sorry for your loss yesterday. Oh, thanks. I'm really devastated put throw on your headphones. I got some questions for you. Ready?

02:03:57Do you have cut you have questions for me? I see what's happening in the booth

02:04:00Oh

02:04:02It has to be through a glass wall Tate this entire time

02:04:06Okay, I'll leave spoken I'll leave

02:04:17Okay, so is there still a lot of beef um, yeah, I think there's there's fully beef I hate your fucking guts

02:04:23There is no reconciliation here you are an asshole you're running around, you know talking so big saying that I owe you an apology

02:04:28It's bullshit for what if you were what you apologize, I will squash. Tell me why are you an apology?

02:04:33Okay, I will Kelly. It's is the angel Reese of barstool sports because she thinks she's more important than she is. Oh

02:04:41Embraces the villain role, but then when it gets burned on her, she's a first-time victim

02:04:46I caught you red-handed saying oh I blog on Facebook. I'm a big fan of yours

02:04:51Saying oh I blog on Friday's. Well, you didn't blog on eight straight Fridays

02:04:54Okay, not the biggest deal in the world you then tried to ruin my life called me Tate more post a million pictures on me

02:05:00It's very fair

02:05:01All is fair on the blog

02:05:02But what I'm saying is this that in turn got hundreds of people to call me what you were saying a misogynist

02:05:08You hate women you coach girls basketball

02:05:10Emailing my school not built for this is this is Milton tough shit, and that's not me screaming at each other

02:05:17Who cares

02:05:21Get it out of your mouth say it so I can reply in kind I swear to God take your fucking asshole

02:05:27Finish it finish popcorn to make sure you get this facility every trip. Oh drop the bag

02:05:33Now you're glad you caught that I'm sure you're not missing anything. Oh sugar caramel and cheddar and butter butter

02:05:45Glad you caught that too. I bet you get that you get some of the popcorn coming out. I get this for Viva

02:05:51Nothing else going on

02:05:52Do you think that you're better than me, and I don't know why you think that and I don't know who the kind of who

02:05:56You think I am, but I'm not that person and you're a fucking asshole. It's disgusting and I see through it

02:06:02I've always seen through it. I don't care who's nice to you. I know exactly who the fuck you are

02:06:11This for all you motherfuckers, it's like I miss the old bar stool

02:06:14What's the first thing you see on that hat for solely this shit over? I'm sure they're hashing it out by now

02:06:19I might end up being friends

02:06:21I would fucking tell you right now if I were you to say like Tate you've avoided me for two days Kelly

02:06:26You're the one I don't have any problem. How's it going?

02:06:34Come on facility, I'm gonna go piss

02:06:36I'm not saying I'm better than you took a joke. I said it's blogs this month

02:06:54If Dave Portnoy calls me up and I'm not doing enough blogs and that's

02:07:00Reflects what I think I know I'm making sure facility doesn't get to see this guy that's content. So anything important for Viva TV

02:07:07Oh, oh

02:07:11Sully what are you doing my job? I

02:07:15Don't know if you guys will ever see eye to eye

02:07:17I think you both have had I think you both have done things to each other that you could both be like if you have

02:07:24Like a moment of reflection being like, you know what my bad a little bit, but I don't yeah

02:07:29I don't I don't know if you'll ever see I

02:07:36Don't know if you'll ever see I

02:07:40Mean that's the most obvious

02:07:56No, I don't want I don't want like residual smoke I'm a fucking Kelly

02:08:03God I'm like

02:08:06Scared right now

02:08:19It's important to play both sides

02:08:27Yeah, go take a go take a lap go take a lap I got out with rage and I almost killed him

02:08:32I looked at Gio. We were streaming it. I went. I look oh my god

02:08:35I think she might actually hit him and 30 seconds later. She goes. I'm gonna hate you

02:08:39Listen, I fucking hate my hair so much. Yeah. Sorry. I didn't know it was gonna I was bombarded

02:08:44I got asked to come on the act for a couple questions and then he inserted himself in the booth

02:08:48It was like I'm in here. I was just screeching

02:08:54I would say I'm officially to know against her that is a

02:08:57Masterclass in how to get under someone's skin usually the person that yells and screams the most in the fight knows they're wrong

02:09:04That's why they have to raise their voice. I was calm cool and collected the whole time and uh, Kelly Keegs was Kelly Keegs

02:09:13Okay, so I forgot the thrill of a beer tweet I'm wearing the shirt today

02:09:16Me and Danny went on a fake bachelor party for him this weekend and he did so many beer tweets

02:09:19I'm gonna see if you could do a beer treat in the middle of day. It's like 1 p.m. Right now

02:09:23I put one in my backpack. It's hidden there

02:09:25I'm gonna try to like basically ice him with a beer tweet and see if he'll do it

02:09:35Oh

02:09:38My god, oh my god, it's bad. Come on. I've never seen this in person Clover. Shut the fuck up. This is exciting

02:09:48I'm literally a monkey in a cage. Let me I just cuz this makes you really happy I can do it

02:10:04Luke Holmes if you're watching this

02:10:10Are you fucking kidding? He did it Tommy shock other you over there with his mouth

02:10:13That was fucked up of you guys to do to Tommy. That's bullshit. You know, he was gonna make I mean

02:10:18I thought Glennie was gonna like keep a straight face. Yeah good. It's too good

02:10:21We had a whole thing. He was gonna take it out of his bag slowly after the

02:10:26You

02:10:28Just like going to the bathroom and like Michael Jordan hits a buzzer-beater Tommy I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt

02:10:34There'll be another one

02:10:37Sixers drafted Jared our guy Jared something doc answers in case his finger now

02:10:42I'm two days in the colony and he doesn't he does all this and I'm three lectures behind

02:10:47There's this boy. Let's name him calling max fucking snap

02:10:55You might get drafted next. Yeah. All right now get out of here. We got some bets to win

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