Chad Daniels: Empty Nester | movie | 2024 | Official Trailer - video Dailymotion

Comedian Chad Daniels sounds off on dad-shaming, dating someone with allergies and the upside of an empty nest in this e | dG1fNkpVaFJ2bDhJTmc

Transcript

00:00I had the thought, I am going to hate being an empty nester.

00:04And then a week later, I got a blow job in my own house.

00:07I did not date my daughter's senior year of high school.

00:11Then I went on my first date with my current girlfriend, Kelsey.

00:14And at the end of dinner, she said something really compelling.

00:17She said, peanuts can kill me. Dairy makes me shit my pants.

00:23Now I know if she accidentally has dairy, I can just give her a peanut to stop the madness.

00:29Have you ever had almond butter? It sucks so hard.

00:33It's like Christmas with just church and no presents.

00:38Kelsey asked me when we started dating, she said, do you want kids? And I said, I have kids.

00:42She said, well, what if I want some kids? I said, well, then you should have brought some kids.

00:46I can't have a baby now. I told you my youngest is 20 years old.

00:50If I had a baby right now, that would be like my last day of prison, going into the yard and stabbing somebody.

00:58Well, here we go again. One more life sentence.

01:06My son is getting married. He's 24. Yeah, sure.

01:11I just think it's funny because when he was 23, he got engaged.

01:13And I go, you think you're a little young to get engaged?

01:15He goes, I don't know. You think you're a little old to be a boyfriend?

01:20We will see you at the wedding, my man.

01:23You know what? We're going to figure this out.

01:27We'll figure this out.