Tommy Tiernan: Tomfoolery | movie | 2024 | Official Clip - video Dailymotion

Most recently playing the father on hit show, "Derry Girls," Tommy Tiernan is a whole different breed of comic. This Iri | dG1fQ3IwdUN2V1lMWE0

Transcript

00:00 The worst thing that you could ever do is listen to your children.

00:05 We've ruined them by listening to them.

00:09 I'm convinced in 30 or 40 years' time, listening will be the new child abuse.

00:13 And there will be people weeping on chat shows going,

00:17 "Then my father would take me up to the room and listen to me."

00:20 And it's ruined my life.

00:25 It's left me with an overinflated sense of my own importance.

00:28 And it's ruined every relationship I've ever tried to be in.

00:33 But generally speaking, people are getting way too soft.

00:38 Sometimes I do gigs in prisons.

00:40 And I know the women love murder.

00:45 Oh, the women are fucking mad for the true-life crime shit that's on the television.

00:51 Sitting there in the safety of your own fart space.

00:57 Covered in crumbs from the kitchen with your fucking relaxed pants on you.

01:02 Looking at an actual woman who got her actual fucking throat cut.

01:09 And you're there, "I'd say it was the brother. I think it was the brother."

01:14 "He's a shifty looking head, doesn't he? The brother. I just don't like..."

01:20 "How can somebody's eyes be too close together and also too far apart? I don't know what it is."

01:27 But you can be put in prison for lots of things now.

01:31 You can be put in prison for hitting somebody once.

01:33 And I think that's the pussification of people's...

01:37 Every man, woman and child in the country should be legally obliged to take one box to the head if you're being a cunt.

01:46 I think that should be...

01:47 That should be the fucking law, you know?

01:53 I think women should be allowed to hit men whenever they want.

01:57 Whenever... I don't think you even have to know the man.

02:00 I think if you're just pissed off at someone else woke up to something, they're all the same anyway, aren't they?

02:05 Just start fucking flailing your little fist at him.

02:09 "Fuck you, fuck you."

02:10 And the man would be legally obliged to stand there and take it.

02:12 Being hit by a woman is like trying to put a bald child into a car seat.

02:17 Just as long as your elbow's locked, you'll be alright.

02:19 But I don't think... That's okay for women to hit men, but I don't think men should ever...

02:24 EVER!

02:26 Be allowed to hit a woman hard.

02:30 I don't think...

02:31 What if God was?

02:42 Maybe there is...

02:44 Maybe there is a God.

02:46 What if God was?

02:49 Maybe there is something fucking wrong with me.