10 Goal Celebrations That Went Horribly Wrong

FourFourTwo

Never mind getting kicked when you're down, how about getting your finger ripped off when you're up...

Transcript

00:00 Pride comes before a fall, we're frequently told, and at no time is a footballer more

00:08 proud than when he or she has just scored a goal.

00:11 Now I could spin out something incredibly poetic for you by way of an introduction here,

00:15 but I'm not going to.

00:16 This is just a video of footballers celebrating scoring a goal, and then things going immediately,

00:21 comically wrong for them.

00:23 So put your feet up for a few minutes and have yourself a nice steaming hot cup of schordenfreud.

00:28 Number 10, Carlos Tevez vs River Plate.

00:30 After notching a crucial goal in Boca Juniors' Copa Libertadores clash with arch-rivals River

00:35 Plate in 2004, Carlos Tevez did what anyone would do in that situation.

00:39 He ripped off his shirt and flapped around dementedly performing a chicken dance in front

00:44 of his teammates.

00:45 The reason?

00:46 Well, Boca fans refer to River Plate players as "galinas", or chickens as you call them,

00:51 claiming their rivals lack guts and fighting spirit.

00:54 The distinctly unimpressed referee deemed the celebration inflammatory and immediately

00:58 red-carded a crestfallen Tevez.

01:00 However, the best bit of this by a mile is the fact that to explain his decision, the

01:05 referee was forced to then recreate the little chicken dance, and well, that's just brilliant.

01:10 Number 9, Robbie Fowler vs Everton.

01:12 Any um, any kids watching this?

01:14 Yeah, okay, well if this doesn't make sense, go ask your parents and enjoy their faces.

01:19 Relentlessly taunted by Everton fans who alleged he was fond of the uh, the old Bolivian marching

01:25 powder in his spare time, Liverpool striker Fowler celebrated scoring against them by

01:31 getting down on all fours and pretending to hoover a line of cocaine off the touchline.

01:36 Boy, the 90s were a time, weren't they?

01:39 Teammate Steve McManaman quickly pulled him to his feet, but the damage was already done.

01:43 And I mean, fair play to manager Gerard Houllier here who genuinely tried to cover for Fowler

01:48 by saying he was "merely imitating a cow eating grass".

01:52 Astonishingly, the authorities didn't buy that and banned him for four games.

01:55 Number 8, Nikolaj Muller vs Augsburg.

01:57 In 2017, the Hamburg winger was enjoying a dream start to life in the Bundesliga.

02:03 He just scored a goal in the eighth minute to put his side 1-0 up at Augsburg, but mere

02:07 seconds later, managed to rule himself out of action for seven months.

02:11 How, you ask?

02:13 Why, after rupturing his anterior cruciate ligament, celebrating a goal, of course!

02:17 How else?

02:18 Having volleyed home the only goal of the game, the 29-year-old insisted on performing

02:22 a frankly ludicrous series of balletic pirouettes.

02:25 As he landed following the final twist, Muller fell to the ground in agony.

02:29 Now, look, I don't like laughing at an actual injury here, that must suck, but spinning

02:33 around like that while wearing boots designed to stick in the ground had "Explosive Knee

02:38 Injury" written all over it.

02:40 "Next time, I'll probably just shake the guy's hands," he said ruefully afterwards.

02:44 Number 7, Edison Cavani vs Lahn.

02:47 Yeah, so the big lad here was one of three players to be sent off in PSG's 3-1 win over

02:51 Lahn in 2014.

02:53 He was first booked for celebrating his goal in front of their raucous fans with his trademark

02:57 gun/arrow thing celebration, before then receiving a second yellow for remonstrating about it

03:03 with the referee.

03:04 I mean, yeah, okay, I'm sure there's something objectionable about it, but he'd been doing

03:07 that celebration for years and has continued to do so for years afterwards, so you can

03:12 sort of understand why he found that booking to be stupid in the extreme.

03:16 Yellow wasn't the referee's only contribution to the game, managing to completely lose his

03:19 handle on an ill-tempered encounter and send off two Lahn players on top of this.

03:23 Refs, eh?

03:24 Number 6, Diogo vs FC Schaffhausen.

03:27 Really funny this one, as he didn't even score the goal.

03:30 In December 2004, this man, Diogo, laid on a little assist for Jean Bautisier in the

03:35 87th minute.

03:36 Gleeful at his contribution, he then jumped onto the metal fence separating fans from

03:40 pitch.

03:41 "Hurrah!" they shouted at first.

03:43 "Oh God, oh God, no, that's disgusting!"

03:45 They shouted after.

03:46 You see, his wedding ring got caught in the barrier and, as he jumped off the fence, most

03:51 of his finger stayed with the ring.

03:55 And not on his hand.

03:57 "No!

03:58 God!

03:59 No!

04:00 God!

04:01 Please, no!

04:02 No!

04:03 No!

04:04 No!"

04:05 To rub salt in the wound, not literally mercifully, referee Florian Etta then penalised him with

04:10 a yellow card for excessive time-wasting.

04:13 Rules are rules, I suppose, but said time-wasting was because he was busy helping stewards search

04:18 for his severed finger.

04:21 And hey, while you're here, if this sort of footballing nonsense is your sort of thing,

04:24 then why don't you nip down there and hit the old subscribe button for us?

04:27 We're putting out both insightful and irreverent football content every single week here at

04:31 442, and would dearly, honestly, truly love to have you along for the ride.

04:35 Anyway, number 5, Samir Nasri vs England.

04:38 After Samir Nasri drilled a shot past Joe Hart during France's clash with England at

04:41 Euro 2012, he ran towards the press box with his finger on his lips.

04:46 It was a non-too-subtle dig aimed at French journalists, whom Nasri believed had been

04:50 overly critical of him in the preceding months.

04:53 And of course, rather than forcing them to take stock and wonder if maybe they've been

04:57 too harsh on him, the inflammatory gesture simply made things a lot worse.

05:02 After France lost to Spain in the quarter-finals, one French journalist hit him with a tough

05:05 question, to which Nasri responded, "You're looking for s***.

05:09 You're looking for trouble."

05:11 He then called the writer a "son of a b***h" and controversially quit international football

05:15 at just 27.

05:16 Told you.

05:17 Number 4, Kevin Londono vs Santa Fe.

05:20 With Jaguar's 1-0 up at Santa Fe in a Colombian top-flight contest in 2017, Kevin Londono

05:25 doubled his side's lead in the 71st minute.

05:28 The goal was of high quality, but the celebration topped it.

05:31 The 23-year-old laid down on a sponsor's mat by the goal and, in double-quick time,

05:36 rolled himself up in it.

05:38 The referee, very unimpressed by this, promptly punished him for the frippery.

05:42 Again, right, if you were one of our younger viewers and you're looking at this thinking,

05:46 "What's the deal here?

05:47 What's going on?

05:48 Is this about sleeping bags?

05:49 Does this guy love burritos?"

05:50 Then look, I understand your confusion, but this is one for your parents.

05:56 This, not me, I'm afraid.

05:57 Oh, and if you do end up asking them about it, just don't mention it was a 442 video.

06:01 Okay?

06:02 Say it was on TikTok or something.

06:03 Number 3, Matt Ritchie vs Chelsea.

06:05 Look, right, you just hear the edited version of these videos, okay?

06:09 You have no idea how many takes this took me to get through without laughing.

06:13 You see, I was at this game and was sitting close enough to spot the aftermath.

06:19 Long story short, Matt Ritchie hates corner flags.

06:22 Dunno if it was something in his childhood, dunno if a fortune teller told him one would

06:26 ultimately be his undoing and he just doesn't like taking chances, but he just, he hates

06:31 them.

06:32 When Isaac Hayden got a late improbable winner against Chelsea at St James' Park, he joined

06:36 the celebrations by booting the nearest one as hard as he could.

06:39 I will need a scientist to explain precisely how what followed was possible, but it spun

06:43 360 degrees into the crowd and arrived perfectly horizontally, see I can't do it, into this

06:51 man's unprotected cock and balls.

06:54 If he'd pulled it out the ground and javelined it, he couldn't have got the poor bloke any

07:00 more flush in the dingle.

07:01 2.

07:02 Thierry Henry vs Chelsea I've never actually had it confirmed either

07:05 way if Henry was trying to mimic former Manchester United forward Lee Sharpe's Elvis celebration

07:10 here, but in my headcanon, that's what it was.

07:12 Anyway, after scoring against Chelsea one time, he grabbed a corner flag and used it

07:15 as a mic stand.

07:17 How cool, how suave, how hilarious that it then snapped back upright and smacked him

07:21 full in the face.

07:22 Forced to miss the restart, Henry required medical attention in order to regain his customary

07:26 va-va-voom butt, and I mean as we've just seen my friends, the face is absolutely not

07:31 the worst place a corner flag can get you.

07:34 And I'm just so sorry to that guy, but can we just see that again with the noise please?

07:38 Brilliant.

07:39 1.

07:40 Anderson Lopez vs Esposito Given some of the big names on this list,

07:44 you just know that if someone you've never heard of is in the number one spot, then it's

07:49 going to be good, so yeah, watch this.

07:52 Brazilian striker Anderson Lopez bags a massive goal in the J League for his side, Consolidol,

07:57 in their opening match of the season.

07:59 Wanting to celebrate with the fans, because I mean who wouldn't, he excitedly jumps over

08:03 the nearest advertising hoarding, only to realise there is an incredibly steep drop

08:08 on the other side.

08:09 Now what I personally really like about this is that from every single camera angle, he

08:13 just completely vanishes down the other side, as if it's a yawning hole in the centre of

08:18 the earth.

08:24 And if we just freeze it, here you can see the exact moment he realises precisely what

08:29 he's done.

08:30 Now look, don't worry, he wasn't badly hurt, but landing in a 10 foot drop onto concrete

08:34 in football boots must absolutely knack.

09:00 [BLANK_AUDIO]

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