Shorties Watchin' Shorties Shorties Watchin Shorties E001 Cook, Ross, Corbett, Vega

Joy Land

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Transcript

00:00 *musique triste*

00:02 *musique triste*

00:04 Patrice's mom will be back after her shift

00:06 Oh my god, look at the two of you

00:09 Nick, you have your mother's nose and that's not a good thing

00:13 And you, fat stuff, you are going to be girlfriendless your entire life

00:18 I'm gonna go take a nap, so...

00:20 You two shorties just sit here and... I don't know, watch this Baby Einstein crap

00:24 What the hell is her problem?

00:27 F*ck you, b*tch

00:29 Shorties watching shorties, shorties watching shorties

00:31 We are shorties on the couch

00:33 Watching shorties on our TV

00:35 Make us laugh, bust a gut

00:37 'Cause our diamonds are worth piggy, piggy, piggy, piggy

00:41 Shorties watching shorties, shorties watching shorties

00:43 Babies watching TV who like pooping, this is shorties

00:45 Is she kidding me with this Baby Einstein crap?

00:50 You know what, Einstein even hated Baby Einstein

00:53 One second he's crawling around and the next he's got people on his face going "Yo Einstein!"

00:57 "What's E=?"

00:59 "Who the hell knows?"

01:01 "I'm a baby, get out of my face!"

01:03 Well it's a good thing you figured all that stuff out or we'd be speaking Japanese right now

01:06 Yeah, what do you mean?

01:08 I mean, no Einstein ideas, no Atom Bomb, no Atom Bomb, no Hiroshima

01:12 No Hiroshima, the Japanese win World War II

01:14 And right now I'd be saying "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto"

01:18 I didn't even know that was Japanese

01:20 Man, turn on something else, is something else on?

01:22 Use the remote

01:23 What? Which one's that?

01:24 The one that says "Satellite TV"

01:26 I can't read, I'm 14 months!

01:28 Just hit a bunch of buttons, something's gonna happen

01:30 This thing is hard to control, I don't even have motor skills

01:32 Wait, wait, wait, what's this?

01:34 Don't cheat on your girl

01:37 You can't cheat

01:39 I cheated when I was young and stupid

01:41 Here's the worst part, you cheat, that drive home

01:44 She had that glittery f*ck on too, you know the glitter?

01:47 Trying to pick that f*ck off, it's like, that's your little thing

01:50 It's like "Oh, you got it on you, there's a million pieces!"

01:53 I look like a pixie driving home, I'm shiny

01:55 Sneaking into my own house

01:57 My lock was never louder

02:00 My key felt like it was like 48 feet long

02:03 You're trying to sneak, you're putting it in, you're like

02:05 Try to open the door all quiet

02:23 I sneak into my living room, and we had hardwood floors

02:26 Those floors suck for cheating

02:29 Because every step you take just taunts you

02:34 You know, every step you're like

02:36 Stand all still

02:45 You're brushing your teeth with shampoo

02:52 I'm washing my balls off like I'm gonna put them up for auction on eBay

02:55 I'm like, come on now, let's go

02:57 How about another lathering?

02:59 One more

03:04 He's sneaking, trying to be all quiet, getting into bed

03:11 The bed's like "Hi!"

03:13 And she wakes up, you gotta make some excuse

03:16 "Oh, I just wanted to check out the sunrise"

03:18 "I wanted to sketch it, I was sketching"

03:21 "Sunrise, I've never done that"

03:24 "We did 'em all, man, we even invented a couple of drugs back in the 70s"

03:26 "Yeah, get this, whippets"

03:28 "See, some people laugh, and the others need an explanation"

03:32 "Get this, some kid figured this out back in the 70s"

03:34 "And this kid should have been involved in the space program, ok?"

03:36 "Some kid took the time and the imagination to get out of the supermarket"

03:39 "And figure out if you take a whipped cream can container"

03:41 "And you press the nozzle on top just enough before the whipped cream comes out"

03:43 "Some gas comes out, you snort the gas, and you get high for five seconds"

03:46 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

03:48 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

03:50 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

03:52 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

03:54 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

03:56 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

03:58 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

04:00 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

04:02 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

04:04 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

04:06 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

04:08 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

04:10 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

04:12 "And you're like, "Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom"

04:14 *Musique*

04:32 *Musique*

05:00 *Musique*

05:14 *Musique*

05:36 *Musique*

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