• 6 months ago
A chronically disabled woman has said she would rather die than continue to live in the cramped kitchen she calls her “prison”.

Illa Smyth, who is 35st, is confined to eat, sleep and wash in the 13ft square ground floor room because her weight means that she struggles to get up or squeeze through doors.

The 54-year-old said the last time she left her terrace home in Gillingham, Kent, was to go to the hospital when she had to be assisted out by paramedics into an ambulance.

She has been isolated to one room as her health deteriorated over the last 20 years and she is unable to climb stairs.

Medway Council did grant £30,000 towards improvements in 2013, but Illa and husband Alan say they were told that this would not be enough to cover all the works needed.

The former McDonald’s children’s party organiser, who initially developed endometriosis and suffered several falls in skiing and horseriding accidents, has undergone at least 11 operations.

Illa suffers from gout, has arthritis in her joints and is incontinent.

Unable to walk unassisted the once fit and active woman has piled on the pounds and now weighs around 35 stone.

Illa has looked into having weight reduction surgery but says she is on a “waiting list for a waiting list”.

Fighting back tears, she said: “If I go to bed and don’t wake up that would be a good thing.

“I have been housebound for what feels like forever. I have arthritis, gout, eczema and depression.

“I sometimes think suicide is a good option.

"If it was not for the fact my husband is here I would have taken that option, yet I am still here.

"I do not know the date because it doesn't make a difference to me because next month and next year things are going to be exactly the same.”

Illa and husband Alan, 57, have lived in the same three-storey house in Richmond Road for all 27 years of their married life.

It was bought as a wedding present from Alan’s mother and they have since repaid her and have no mortgage.

Warehouse worker Alan has been pressing Medway Council for grants to modify the property for Illa with wider doorways, levelled surfaces outside, a ground floor wet room and a bedroom.

In a letter dated July 2022 from the council’s adult social care department it concluded that Mrs Smyth’s needs could only be met by moving to a more accessible property.

However, in their written response to requests for major adaptations to the couple’s home, the local authority says the pair would need to fork out approximately £55,000 to £60,000 for the works.

The couple have explored other options but do not have enough money to put down a deposit or rent a suitable flat either.

Alan said: “This our home and we don’t want to move. We have looked at other accommodation, but there’s nothing in our price range.

“If we rent we would soon run out of money.

“We need a flat that is big enough for a wheelchair and on the ground floor. And we could not afford adaptations on top.”

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Transcript
00:00 My name is Alice Smythe. I've been housebound for what feels like forever.
00:05 I've got arthritis, gout, asthma, I'm incontinent, I get depressed and sometimes I
00:15 think suicide is a good option. If it wasn't for the fact that my husband's
00:18 here I would have taken that option. Why am I still here? That's a good question.
00:23 I suppose it's because my husband is determined to keep me alive where I wish
00:27 I was dead every time I wake up every morning thinking oh god another day in
00:30 this square box. Because today, next month and the next month and the year after
00:35 that are gonna be exactly the same. I'm still gonna be in the same position
00:38 doing the same old goddamn thing. Relying on other people. Lost your dignity a long
00:42 time ago. When somebody else is wiping your bottom and putting a nappy on you
00:46 because you're incontinent. Believe me there's nothing... your dignity is gone.
00:52 You're lucky you're having somebody to help you and you think to yourself is
00:55 this is the way you want to live? Yeah? This isn't how I wanted to live.
00:59 This isn't what I pictured for myself. I pictured for myself that I'd always be
01:04 able to be independent. I'd work hard. I'd strive to be a good person and I'm with
01:09 the man I love and I'm lucky enough to have that. I didn't want to be wealthy. I
01:13 didn't want to be famous or anything like this. I just wanted to be with
01:16 somebody I know I love and grow old together. We've done all the things
01:20 you're supposed to do. You're being honest, you work hard and you think to
01:24 yourself if you need help it's there but it's not. And the old-fashioned thing of
01:29 oh you're gonna have plenty of friends and family. I've got family, I've got
01:34 friends and everybody... they forget you. You're like an old postcard that people
01:45 send and after a while they don't send postcards to that person. They think oh I
01:48 haven't seen him in ages. It doesn't matter. They don't invite you to
01:51 weddings. They don't invite you to christenings, birthdays, religious events
01:54 because they think oh I can't be bothered with that person. And when you do
01:58 occasionally turn up they think oh she's still alive is she? Next year I hope I'm
02:01 dead. For the simple reason I don't want to carry on living like this. Every year
02:05 I don't bother counting my birthday. Yeah I don't bother counting what's
02:09 gonna happen next month. In a few days time is my husband's birthday and I'm
02:13 supposed to look forward to this. Normally I would have baked a cake 20
02:17 years ago. I would have got him presents. I would have been planning ahead. Now I'm
02:20 dreading that because I can't... I haven't got the time, effort or the coordination
02:25 to get my hands to do what I'm supposed to do. I'm supposed to give instructions
02:29 to somebody else who can do that and the words aren't coming out right sometimes.
02:35 When my husband comes home at the end of the day I've got to put a smile on my
02:39 face and say to him yes darling I've had 11 year dates alright and inside I think to
02:43 myself why did this poor devil love me enough to stay with me? He could have had a
02:48 chance at anything in the world and he was settled with me and I don't give him
02:52 any hope but he still loves me. God knows why.
02:58 So you want to know what I live like? This is how I live. We're living in this
03:05 day and age and I wash with a bucket of hot water, a flannel and soap. I've got
03:13 arthritis in my joints and I've got gout. I've got asthma, I've got eczema. What
03:19 I'd like to change is that I go to bed at night and not wake up in the
03:23 morning. That's what I would like.

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