Cancer survivor reveals her dos and don'ts when talking to people battling the disease
- 14 days ago
A cancer survivor revealed her do's and don'ts for what to say to a cancer patient - after being told to "look on the bright side" during her treatment.
Kristen Beatty, 33, was diagnosed with non-hodgkin lymphoma - a type of cancer that forms in the immune system - after experiencing chest pain.
She underwent chemotherapy and was given the all clear a year later.
Kristen shares her story online and gives advice on how to address the topic of cancer.
In light of the recent news of the The Princess of Wales' recent diagnosis, Kristen feels she would have had to have been "selfless in the way she told her family".
Kristen, who works in PR, from Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey said: “They [cancer patients] don’t need to tell family and friends, it’s their choice on how to handle it.
“There is no how to handle cancer book.
“I just wanted to rip the band aid off and tell people, I didn’t want to let in linger and feel more emotional.
“After you let people know, be clear with what you and do not want.
“I told my parents I don’t want you to cry around me, they can cry in a different room.
"If someone you know has cancer don’t respond with my grandad had cancer he died – it's unkind.
“I imagine Kate would have to very selfless in the way she told her family to put their wellbeing fist.”
Kristen went to hospital in April 2021 when she had chest pain.
She said: “I started having really bad chest pain, they shrugged it off at first which happens a lot for young women, but the pain was getting worse.”
Kristen was diagnosed in November 2021 with Non-Hodgkin lymphoma and started chemotherapy in December of the same year - after freezing her eggs.
She got the clear on April 19th, 2022, and is two years in remission, but there is still a chance the cancer could return.
Kristen said: “One of the misconceptions of survivorship is that being in remission means I am okay.
“Another avenue of survivorship is this feeling of PTSD and survival mode.
"People expect you to bounce back but it's not like that. Survivorship you’re just left on your own.”
Now Kristen aims to educate people on the right approach for people with cancer - she says it's key to let them be upset, angry and depressed.
She said: “If they say they are having a rough day, let them have a rough day. Of course we want our loved one to be happy.
“Saying things like 'look on the bright side' isn’t helpful sometimes. Of course there will be a brightside but you can have down days.
“The first month can be intense. Getting flooded with messages asking if they need anything after the first month - that goes away.
"If you want to be the person for that patient to rely on you need to show up after that first month.
“It can be a burden to figure out what can help or what I need.
“If you are going to the store and see a deal with my favourite snacks, then drop them off.
“Actions are important, those kinds of things.”
Kristen said having her group of friends including her in
Kristen Beatty, 33, was diagnosed with non-hodgkin lymphoma - a type of cancer that forms in the immune system - after experiencing chest pain.
She underwent chemotherapy and was given the all clear a year later.
Kristen shares her story online and gives advice on how to address the topic of cancer.
In light of the recent news of the The Princess of Wales' recent diagnosis, Kristen feels she would have had to have been "selfless in the way she told her family".
Kristen, who works in PR, from Egg Harbor Township, New Jersey said: “They [cancer patients] don’t need to tell family and friends, it’s their choice on how to handle it.
“There is no how to handle cancer book.
“I just wanted to rip the band aid off and tell people, I didn’t want to let in linger and feel more emotional.
“After you let people know, be clear with what you and do not want.
“I told my parents I don’t want you to cry around me, they can cry in a different room.
"If someone you know has cancer don’t respond with my grandad had cancer he died – it's unkind.
“I imagine Kate would have to very selfless in the way she told her family to put their wellbeing fist.”
Kristen went to hospital in April 2021 when she had chest pain.
She said: “I started having really bad chest pain, they shrugged it off at first which happens a lot for young women, but the pain was getting worse.”
Kristen was diagnosed in November 2021 with Non-Hodgkin lymphoma and started chemotherapy in December of the same year - after freezing her eggs.
She got the clear on April 19th, 2022, and is two years in remission, but there is still a chance the cancer could return.
Kristen said: “One of the misconceptions of survivorship is that being in remission means I am okay.
“Another avenue of survivorship is this feeling of PTSD and survival mode.
"People expect you to bounce back but it's not like that. Survivorship you’re just left on your own.”
Now Kristen aims to educate people on the right approach for people with cancer - she says it's key to let them be upset, angry and depressed.
She said: “If they say they are having a rough day, let them have a rough day. Of course we want our loved one to be happy.
“Saying things like 'look on the bright side' isn’t helpful sometimes. Of course there will be a brightside but you can have down days.
“The first month can be intense. Getting flooded with messages asking if they need anything after the first month - that goes away.
"If you want to be the person for that patient to rely on you need to show up after that first month.
“It can be a burden to figure out what can help or what I need.
“If you are going to the store and see a deal with my favourite snacks, then drop them off.
“Actions are important, those kinds of things.”
Kristen said having her group of friends including her in