Curb Your Enthusiasm | 'Larry David Learns Golf Etiquette' Scene - Max - video Dailymotion

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Larry David causes a scene after he accidentally hits another country club member with a golf ball.  Stream the latest episode of HBO Original Curb Your Enthusiasm on Max

Transcript

00:00 [upbeat music]

00:01 - I did Wirtle again today.

00:03 I'm a Wirtle wizard, man.

00:04 I did it in three tries.

00:05 That's three days in a row, man.

00:07 - Wow, you're really on a good streak.

00:09 - I'm on a huge streak, that's nothing.

00:11 - All right, let's see if I can continue my streak.

00:13 - I know, you've been unbelievable.

00:14 What is this all about?

00:15 How are you doing this?

00:16 - You know why?

00:17 I sat on a bench this morning and overheard a lesson.

00:20 So I've had thousands of hours of lessons,

00:22 two minutes on that bench.

00:24 This guy changed my life.

00:25 - What kind of tips?

00:26 - Vertical drop.

00:27 - Yeah.

00:27 - Horizontal tug.

00:28 - Horizontal tug?

00:29 Vertical drop, horizontal tug.

00:31 Now I've dropped before, but I've never tugged.

00:34 And now I'm tugging.

00:35 - Maybe I should tug.

00:36 - You gotta tug.

00:37 - Can you teach me how to tug?

00:37 - I'll teach you how to tug.

00:38 - This is fantastic.

00:39 - Can I tell you something?

00:40 - Sure.

00:41 - I think this is the happiest I've ever been in my life.

00:43 - I don't even know who I'm looking at right now.

00:44 - How is something good happening to me?

00:46 - No one on the planet would believe that you're happy.

00:48 - How is this possible?

00:49 - Well, I have better news for you.

00:50 I'm leaving you in my will.

00:51 I'm tweaking it and you're in it.

00:53 - No, no, no, don't do that.

00:54 - It's done, you're in.

00:55 - I don't wanna be in.

00:56 I have money, I don't need it.

00:57 Give it to someone who needs it.

00:58 - When I die, I want you to know how much I care about you.

01:01 - I'm not gonna keep it, I'm gonna give it to charity.

01:02 - You're my best friend, you're getting it.

01:04 - No, I'm making a Sherman-esque statement

01:05 about the will right now.

01:07 - I'm sick of your historical references.

01:08 - If nominated, I will not run.

01:10 If bequeathed, I will not accept.

01:12 - Well, I'm bequeathing.

01:13 - Well, I'm not accepting.

01:14 - Well, you'll have to accept.

01:15 - Don't give it to me.

01:15 - Don't hurt my feelings.

01:17 - I'm not gonna keep a penny of it.

01:18 - You're hurting me.

01:19 - Thank you, but I don't want it.

01:20 - I'm giving it to you anyway, pal.

01:21 - Oh my God, fuck you.

01:23 - What are you doing?

01:30 - What do you mean?

01:31 - I'm waiting.

01:32 - For what?

01:32 - Troy and Jimmy are on the fairway.

01:34 - You're never gonna hit them.

01:35 - You don't think I could hit them?

01:37 - No, you've never hit the ball that far in your life.

01:40 Come on.

01:41 - Really?

01:42 - Yeah.

01:42 - You're never gonna hit it that far, what are you, nuts?

01:44 - All right, shut up.

01:46 - Now you shut up.

01:47 (suspenseful music)

01:50 - Holy shit!

02:00 - You hit him!

02:01 - I hit him!

02:01 - Troy, are you okay?

02:03 - Oh my God!

02:04 - How did you do that?

02:05 - Hey, what the fuck?

02:07 - I told you I shouldn't have fucking hit you,

02:09 you know that?

02:09 - Hey, hey!

02:10 - Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!

02:13 - Troy, are you okay?

02:14 - Slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly.

02:16 Take it easy.

02:17 - Oh God, oh God.

02:18 - I'm so sorry.

02:19 - What in the hell?

02:20 - I don't know what happened, I'm so sorry.

02:23 - Why didn't you yell four?

02:24 - I couldn't yell four, I mean, he can't hear,

02:27 and what would be the point?

02:28 I waved, I did a lot of waving.

02:30 - When you talk, the interpreter can hear you.

02:32 - I know, but he was too far, he was in the car.

02:34 - I could've grabbed him and ran to the tree.

02:36 - There was no time, the ball was coming down.

02:38 - There's plenty of time, you yelled four when you hit it.

02:39 - Superman couldn't get there in time to stop that.

02:41 - You should've waited till we were in the clear,

02:42 why didn't you wait?

02:43 - Because the guys I was playing with,

02:45 they said, "Oh, go, go, go," they embarrassed me.

02:47 They said, "Oh, you can never hit him."

02:48 - Did you do the vertical drop, horizontal tug?

02:51 - Yeah, I did it, I did it.

02:52 I did the vertical drop and horizontal tug,

02:53 and you know what, it really worked.

02:54 Look how far I hit the ball, I couldn't even believe it.

02:57 - I'm watching you.

02:58 - Watching me?

02:59 Really, there's not much to watch, honestly, I mean,

03:01 I don't really go anywhere.

03:02 I'm home most of the time, I'll do a crossword puzzle,

03:05 sometimes I'll go out to dinner.

03:07 I hate my life, you don't wanna witness it.

03:09 - You're a real asshole.

03:12 - You know what, I am so deeply and profoundly sorry

03:15 for what happened.

03:16 I really wanna make it up to you somehow.

03:18 Let me get you a Postmates dinner,

03:20 I'll send one to your house, would you like that?

03:23 Some very good restaurants on Postmates,

03:24 I'll have it delivered right to your door.

03:26 So you don't wanna Postmates, hey, what did you do?

03:28 Did you tell him what I just said?

03:29 - Everything.

03:30 - Did you tell him about the Postmates dinner?

03:31 - I did.

03:32 - What'd you tell him, you just went like this,

03:33 you didn't do anything.

03:33 - That's the sign for Postmates dinner.

03:34 - It took two seconds.

03:35 - I'm good.

03:36 - Oh, you didn't tell him about the Postmates dinner.

03:38 - Don't bullshit me.

03:39 - Why didn't you tell him about the Postmates dinner?

03:40 - I told him.

03:41 - That's a very nice gesture.

03:42 - Deeply and profoundly sorry, and you offer him Postmates.

03:45 - You know he didn't tell him about the Postmates dinner.

03:47 - He did, he told him.

03:48 - And by the way, where's my ball?

03:49 - I don't know.

03:50 - You don't know?

03:51 - I don't know.

03:52 - What do you mean you don't know?

03:53 It hit him in the back, right over here.

03:54 - Lift up your ass, Larry.

03:54 - Where's the ball?

03:55 - It's gone.

03:56 - He took my ball.

03:57 - Go back to the T, hit another ball.

03:58 - He took my ball.

03:59 - Go back to the T, hit another ball.

04:00 Two stroke penalty.

04:01 You know what, I'm gonna just drop it over here,

04:03 that's all.

04:03 I'll drop it where the body was, right here.

04:05 That's in the rules.

04:06 I'm not gonna take a penalty, I'll tell you that.

04:08 I'm not taking a penalty.

04:09 I hit the ball over here,

04:10 I hit it one of the great shots of my life.

04:11 I'm playing from here.

04:12 Oh, he threw my ball away.

04:15 I gotta take a drop.

04:16 - No, no, no dropping, man.

04:18 - You can't take a drop.

04:19 - What are you talking about?

04:20 They threw my ball away.

04:21 - You hit somebody.

04:22 - That's right.

04:23 - He's fine, he's okay.

04:24 Listen, I'm dropping a ball.

04:25 - No, no, no, I watch you dropping a ball.

04:27 - I'm not going back to the T.

04:28 (coyote howling)

04:31 - What the fuck was that?

04:38 - Holy shit.

04:39 - Sounds like a coyote.

04:43 - It is a coyote.

04:44 They're killers, man.

04:45 - Sounds like he's eating a dog.

04:47 - Jeff, don't you live around there?

04:49 - That is my house.

04:50 Oh my God.

04:52 That could be my puppy.

04:55 (coyote howling)

04:57 (coyote howling)

05:00 (coyote howling)

05:03 (coyote howling)

05:06 (coyote howling)

05:08 [BLANK_AUDIO]

Curb Your Enthusiasm | 'Larry David Learns Golf Etiquette' Scene - Max

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