x6ond69 - Vidéo Dailymotion

Space Sheep

02/01/2024

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00:00 Hey guys, I'm Evan from Fatherly and we are here with one fifth of the FAM5, Mr. Culture, Mr. Karamo Brown.

00:07 Thanks so much for being here.

00:08 Thank you for being here.

00:09 I appreciate it.

00:10 And you have a really interesting story to your journey of being a dad.

00:14 Describe that.

00:16 Sure, so I started letting people into my life at 15 regarding my sexuality.

00:22 But during that time, I did have a girlfriend who was my best friend and we decided to lose our virginity to each other.

00:27 It wasn't good but it was also not great because I was like, "I'm gay."

00:31 But she moved away.

00:33 I went through high school and college and was on MTV's Real World and was coming home one day and saw a stack of papers on my doorstep for back child support.

00:41 Which I thought was a joke.

00:43 Like, "This has to be a joke because there's no way that I have a kid."

00:48 And I looked through the paperwork and immediately I saw her name and it just transported me back to 15 and that day of skipping school and being in my mother's house and being like, "What in the world?"

01:01 And realizing that I was a father.

01:04 And then three hours later, I met my son for the first time.

01:06 What was that like?

01:08 I mean, obviously, I think part of the incredible part of this journey is there were so many times when you could have turned back.

01:14 The feeling of seeing him for the first time is similar to, I know you're a new dad, it's probably similar to what you felt.

01:20 Because even though I didn't hold him as a newborn, the minute I saw him, it was like this hole that was inside of me all of a sudden started getting sewed up.

01:28 This piece that I felt that was missing just was filled in.

01:32 And it's an indescribable feeling until you become a parent and you see a little being that is part of you.

01:39 You kind of had to take a crash course in fatherhood.

01:41 Oh yeah.

01:42 What are some of the things that you found were very helpful for you?

01:45 The first thing I found was not pretending that I knew it all.

01:49 As fathers, you feel as if I'm supposed to have all the answers.

01:53 Sure.

01:54 I have a fear, this fear of passing on some self-esteem issues to my son.

01:59 And how can you train yourself, how can you change behavior in order for him to change behavior and like you said earlier, potentially break some of the cycles that are passed down.

02:10 Well you're doing the first thing very right and I'm going to give you a big applause.

02:14 It's acknowledging it and acknowledging it publicly.

02:16 So the fact that you as a man are able to express that you're working on your mental health, that you have self-esteem issues and you don't want your son to have those,

02:24 is probably the strongest and best thing you can do for yourself, for your family and for your son.

02:29 And then the second thing is that once you notice that behavior of not putting your fears onto your child.

02:36 So if you do see some behavior that resembles yours, instead of going to your child and saying, "I think this may be happening."

02:44 Give them the space to communicate about what's going on.

02:48 Third, understand there's a community of people around you who can help you with that, whether it's therapists, counselors.

02:53 There's also mentorship programs that can support you as a dad and also making sure that you're doing activities together to support them in their mental health and self-esteem.

03:01 There goes your three steps.

03:02 That's great.

03:03 You're already step one.

03:04 Yeah, you broke it down.

03:05 And what we're going to do right now is just write down what you would do if you had no fear.

03:12 Okay, ready?

03:13 On three, we'll reveal them here.

03:15 One, two, three.

03:16 What is yours saying?

03:17 Dress better.

03:18 Oh, you look great.

03:19 Give me a break.