How To Not Appear Desperate Around Men
- 6 months ago
1. You text too much
This is similar to number one. If you’re texting him all the time, If you’re sending messages like “good morning, good night, how was your weekend, how was your day” then you’re going to come off as desperate. Desperate daters will text when they have nothing to say, just to get that validation that the other person still likes them.
2. You’re Clingy
If you’re trying to figure out where he is all the time, who he’s with, and what he’s up to, then you’re going to seem clingy and therefore desperate. It’s good to be interested in what he’s doing but phrases like “text me when you get home”, “where have you been?”, and “hey stranger” should be cut from your vocabulary. Desperate people need to know everything; confident people just want to listen and connect.
3. You have low standards
If you’ll let him get away with murder, then he’s not going to value you. Guys will test your boundaries early on so don’t let him get away with asking for nudes at midnight, being overly flirty, or being an hour late for a date.
1.) Don’t be too available
If you’re trying to make plans and he isn’t available one day, don’t say you can do it any other time, any day of the week, rain or shine. You need to strike a balance between easy-going and just plain lonely
2.) Don’t rush
It’s not a race. If your goal is to find someone to be with for the long term, what’s the rush? Relationships build over time so don’t go into the second date expecting to spend the weekend together and then get upset when he wants to call it a night.
3.) Keep high standards
You may think that giving him what he asks for is a great way to get close to him. It’s actually better to hold him to a high standard. The right guy will see this as you valuing yourself and your time and he’ll work harder to impress you.
4.) Don’t seek validation
Fishing for compliments, talking bad about yourself or being self-deprecating are huge signs of low self esteem and desperation. You need to give him the feeling that, while you like him and want him, you don’t need his approval to feel whole. This is so important because if he thinks that you’re insecure and constantly need reassurance, then you’re not confident and you seem less valuable.
5.) Don’t cyber stalk
Okay this one comes with a caveat. Feel free to google them, check them out on instagram, or facebook, whatever. It’s good to know what you’re getting into. The thing you’re trying to avoid is them knowing about it. So don’t bring up the time their photo was in the local paper if you want to seem chill, confident, and not desperate.
6.) Be chill on social media
Keep the drama and attention-seeking off of social media. This includes posting too many selfies (especially barely clothed), no posts about “cutting toxic people out of your life”, and dial it back on the instagram stories. Social media can be a great way to get noticed but make sure that what he’s noticing isn’t how desperate you are.
This is similar to number one. If you’re texting him all the time, If you’re sending messages like “good morning, good night, how was your weekend, how was your day” then you’re going to come off as desperate. Desperate daters will text when they have nothing to say, just to get that validation that the other person still likes them.
2. You’re Clingy
If you’re trying to figure out where he is all the time, who he’s with, and what he’s up to, then you’re going to seem clingy and therefore desperate. It’s good to be interested in what he’s doing but phrases like “text me when you get home”, “where have you been?”, and “hey stranger” should be cut from your vocabulary. Desperate people need to know everything; confident people just want to listen and connect.
3. You have low standards
If you’ll let him get away with murder, then he’s not going to value you. Guys will test your boundaries early on so don’t let him get away with asking for nudes at midnight, being overly flirty, or being an hour late for a date.
1.) Don’t be too available
If you’re trying to make plans and he isn’t available one day, don’t say you can do it any other time, any day of the week, rain or shine. You need to strike a balance between easy-going and just plain lonely
2.) Don’t rush
It’s not a race. If your goal is to find someone to be with for the long term, what’s the rush? Relationships build over time so don’t go into the second date expecting to spend the weekend together and then get upset when he wants to call it a night.
3.) Keep high standards
You may think that giving him what he asks for is a great way to get close to him. It’s actually better to hold him to a high standard. The right guy will see this as you valuing yourself and your time and he’ll work harder to impress you.
4.) Don’t seek validation
Fishing for compliments, talking bad about yourself or being self-deprecating are huge signs of low self esteem and desperation. You need to give him the feeling that, while you like him and want him, you don’t need his approval to feel whole. This is so important because if he thinks that you’re insecure and constantly need reassurance, then you’re not confident and you seem less valuable.
5.) Don’t cyber stalk
Okay this one comes with a caveat. Feel free to google them, check them out on instagram, or facebook, whatever. It’s good to know what you’re getting into. The thing you’re trying to avoid is them knowing about it. So don’t bring up the time their photo was in the local paper if you want to seem chill, confident, and not desperate.
6.) Be chill on social media
Keep the drama and attention-seeking off of social media. This includes posting too many selfies (especially barely clothed), no posts about “cutting toxic people out of your life”, and dial it back on the instagram stories. Social media can be a great way to get noticed but make sure that what he’s noticing isn’t how desperate you are.