The Day of the Doctor: Cinema Intro | movie | 2013 | Official Clip - video Dailymotion

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A two-scene introduction that was shown exclusively in advance of the theatrical screenings of The Day of the Doctor. | dG1fSWlpeWY1ci1XWDQ

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00:00 Greetings, puny humans.

00:15 In advance of the anniversary "movie", the Doctor has entrusted me with briefing you

00:21 on cinema etiquette.

00:22 A wise choice.

00:24 I have invited my clone batch to this screening.

00:28 As you can see, we Sontarans are capable of exemplary levels of rapt attention.

00:34 We have been drilled in basic concentration as long as any of us can remember.

00:38 About a week, in fact.

00:40 But it has become very clear to me that your feeble human minds are not so disciplined.

00:46 See here the results of unruly viewing practices.

00:50 This insubordinate fool attempted to open a communications channel during the last screening

00:56 to his command post, codenamed "Fury 1".

01:00 Fiona?

01:01 Her name was Fiona?

01:03 Quiet, scum!

01:05 No active phones are allowed in the viewing platforms.

01:08 Switch your communication devices to silent.

01:12 And here is a victim of the primitive 3D technology we set too close to the front during an appearance

01:18 by the Doctor.

01:20 Take comfort in the fact that his gigantic chin will only be in two dimensions during

01:26 this screening.

01:28 Talking during the film is also a crime, and you must maintain a minimum volume during

01:33 the consumption of fluids and nutrition packs.

01:38 This feeble specimen proves that while cloning Sontarans is a magnificent duty, attempting

01:45 to clone a cultural broadcast with recording equipment is the greatest of all war crimes.

01:52 But that's still no excuse!

01:57 Expose this to the Briar Drills.

02:02 Despite these transgressions, there are some human habits that we Sontarans could learn

02:06 from.

02:07 I particularly approve of your human tradition of mercilessly exploding these puny corn creatures

02:14 and feasting on their popped remains.

02:18 Remember, popcorn can feel pain.

02:24 Ah, those tiny screams.

02:29 The film is starting.

02:33 I expect my clone brothers, who have travelled many light years in this privilege, will revel

02:39 in this glorious piece of Sontaran historical drama.

02:42 It's not about you.

02:45 What?

02:46 I have read the plot summary, boy!

02:48 A campaign in medieval England, an invasion of modern London, and a battle on Gallifrey.

02:53 A heroic account of the military campaigns of Commander Lynx, General Stahl, and Commander

03:00 Stahl.

03:01 It's about the Doctor.

03:03 It's about the Doctor.

03:05 Not about the Sontarans.

03:06 What?

03:07 But I invited my whole batch.

03:11 Nobody could endure a whole film about that pink weasel's antics.

03:15 The shouting, the emotions, the incomprehensible explanations.

03:22 Oh dear.

03:26 But a wise Sontaran always has another tactic up his armoured sleeve.

03:37 We will now undergo an emergency drill.

03:40 All troops prepare for an audiovisual assault featuring baffling levels of compassion and

03:46 romance, multiple doctors in all their fleshy pink horror, and irritable acts of mercy and

03:52 kindness.

03:53 For the glory of the Sontaran Empire, play the film!

04:07 Okay and cue him.

04:09 I am cuing him.

04:11 Cue him again.

04:12 Doctor!

04:13 Oh, is it me?

04:14 Yes, now.

04:15 Hello everyone!

04:16 Oh, well that is a bit disappointing.

04:17 Ah ha!

04:18 Hey!

04:19 There you are.

04:20 Oh brilliant.

04:21 Hello, welcome to the hundredth anniversary special of Doctor Who in 12D!

04:32 Hey, three?

04:35 No, really?

04:38 Oops.

04:39 In 3D!

04:40 What's good about that?

04:42 Is there a budget cut?

04:43 That is.

04:44 Sorry about that, a bit confused time travel you see.

04:48 I've just watched the hundredth anniversary special.

04:50 All 57 doctors still, you know, 3D.

04:54 That's good too.

04:55 Which reminds me, actually, time to activate your 3D spectacles.

04:59 Please prepare to initialise your facial furniture.

05:01 On the count of three.

05:02 Ready?

05:03 One, two, three.

05:04 Put them on!

05:05 Hurrah!

05:06 Now, before we enter the third dimension, which frankly is travelling slowly by my standards,

05:12 a safety check.

05:17 There are Zygons in the building.

05:18 Sorry about that, but there are.

05:20 And they're very hungry, Zygons.

05:22 Dying for a snack as some of you will be shortly if you're not quick.

05:25 Now, as you know, as all of you know, Zygons can disguise themselves as people, so we don't

05:29 know which of you are real and which of you are alien monsters dying for their dinner.

05:33 Fortunately, we've fitted out your spectacles with Zygon detectors.

05:36 Everybody turn and look at the person next to you.

05:38 Hey, hey, yes, that's right.

05:40 So stare at each other right in the spectacles.

05:42 Everybody find a staring partner now, please.

05:45 Hello, hello, it's a hungry alien emergency.

05:47 Now, to activate your Zygon detector, just close one eye, like this.

05:52 All do that now.

05:53 Great.

05:54 Now, look at the spectacles opposite you.

05:56 If one of the lenses has turned black, that person is really a Zygon and is going to eat

06:00 you at some point during the movie.

06:03 Please, don't panic.

06:07 It will only disturb everyone else and there's really nothing we can do to save you.

06:12 Okay, everybody, eyes front.

06:14 It's time to go 3D.

06:17 Brace yourselves.

06:18 Sorry, sorry, just had to take over for a moment.

06:26 Hello.

06:27 As you know, 3D can make things stick out of the screen a bit and, well, frankly, let's

06:34 be honest, the chin.

06:37 So anyway, here it comes.

06:40 Get ready to duck.

06:41 Hope that was okay.

06:47 As you probably noticed, the increased definition of 3D really makes you notice all those lines

06:51 and creases and crinkly bits and the spit when he talks, but that's just all part of

06:54 stereoscopic vision.

06:59 You might say it adds a third dimension.

07:03 Yeah.

07:05 Very nice.

07:09 Thank you.

07:12 Doctor who?

07:14 I'm not sure.

07:17 I'm not sure.

The Day of the Doctor: Cinema Intro | movie | 2013 | Official Clip

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