- 11/20/2023
#desicomedy #masalapj #comedyvideo
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Watch the naughtiest comedy in a unique style.
Like, share and subscribe to our channel.
Watch Boss removing secretary's clothes - https://dai.ly/x1wt2c8
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FunTranscript
00:00 Darling, look, we are getting married.
00:05 You should quit smoking before marriage.
00:09 Yes, I will.
00:11 Quit drinking as well.
00:14 I will.
00:15 And yes, quit watching football matches with your friends.
00:22 Yes, I will.
00:24 Tell me one more thing, what else can you leave for me?
00:32 I want to marry you.
00:34 What?
00:35 Come in, sir.
00:39 Such a small room? No TV, no fridge, nothing.
00:48 Did I pay you so much for a hotel?
00:50 You idiot, this is not a hotel room, it's a lift.
00:55 I want a divorce right now.
01:01 What happened? Why are you putting your hand in my collar?
01:03 Hand in collar? And what are you doing?
01:05 I did nothing.
01:06 What did you do? Your neighbor is having an affair with Kavita. I know everything.
01:10 What proof do you have?
01:12 Yesterday her husband came here wearing your underwear.
01:19 Madam, look at this.
01:21 No, it's not good. Show me more.
01:26 Look at this. It's a 'Sona Puri'.
01:31 No, it's not good.
01:34 Madam, will this do? It's a 'Kola Puri'.
01:38 Really? No, it's not good.
01:46 Madam, you will like this.
01:49 This? Pink color? I have a lot of pink colors. No, I don't want this.
01:54 Sorry madam, I showed you so much of clothes, you didn't like any of them.
01:59 No problem, no problem about sorry. I just came to buy vegetables.
02:03 Mr. Harry, I am sending you...
02:10 I am sending you...
02:14 Some placement requirements.
02:16 Some placement requirements.
02:19 Darl, are you free tonight?
02:26 Madam, don't talk about free. I can give you corporate discount.
02:32 People are not getting sick these days. What's happening?
02:36 Doctor, doctor, I am very worried.
02:38 Last night a girl had a miscarriage. That's why I am not getting any blood.
02:42 What's happening?
02:43 What are you guys doing?
02:46 Give it to me.
02:49 You idiot, take off your condom and go to the bathroom.
02:53 Nurse, do you know that a person has thousands of bones?
03:01 Speak softly, doctor.
03:04 Don't you have to wait? Dogs are sitting.
03:07 You know what doctor, I wish you were with me. I would have saved you.
03:12 You are a miser.
03:16 Not that you can forward me to other nurses.
03:19 Doctor, doctor, I have a stomach ache. Please go and see.
03:28 Go and take a bath.
03:29 How can I take a bath? I don't want to have a miscarriage.
03:31 Hey, Ram Kishore, what happened?
03:33 I have a stomach ache. I eat rice and I get a stomach ache.
03:37 I eat flatbread and I get a stomach ache.
03:39 I am very worried. Please do something to make me normal.
03:42 Eat the flatbread.
03:43 No, I am very shameless.
03:48 I am shameless since childhood. I was naked in my birth.
03:54 What?
03:55 I love you.
03:56 I love you too.
04:06 What did you say?
04:10 Thank you, thank you.
04:12 Why did you hit me when I didn't hear you?
04:14 Sister-in-law.
04:18 What happened? Why are you so sweet today?
04:21 Sister-in-law, I want to ask you a question.
04:23 Yes, ask.
04:25 What is this blue film?
04:26 Blue film?
04:27 Family film.
04:28 What sister-in-law? You are saying anything.
04:30 Yesterday my friends were saying that it is not a family film.
04:33 Hey, crazy. It is a family film.
04:35 Everyone can watch it. But separately.
04:37 Where were you? I have been calling you since so long.
04:45 I have been waiting for you since so long.
04:46 Hey, stop it. Don't shout. I had gone to the doctor.
04:50 Why? What happened?
04:52 I had toothache. Doctor said that there is a mole in my tooth.
04:55 The doctor told the right thing.
04:57 But you told the wrong thing.
04:58 What?
05:00 What are you handling?
05:11 Nothing.
05:13 Tell me, what happens if a girl takes off all her clothes?
05:20 You only think about dirty things.
05:22 You always think about dirty things.
05:24 You are right.
05:25 Dirt is not in our mind. It is in your mind.
05:28 The cupboard is always empty.
05:30 Oh God.
05:32 Suzy darling.
05:34 Yes.
05:35 Tell me something.
05:36 Yes.
05:37 Your face is exactly like my third wife.
05:42 Exactly like her.
05:45 Sir, how old are you?
05:48 Two.
05:49 What?
05:50 Where are you going?
05:52 Let me tell you something.
05:54 What?
05:56 This hospital is famous for the fact that the patients get healthy very fast.
06:02 And you are the reason for that.
06:04 Because you are healthy.
06:06 I can feel your pulse right now.
06:09 Do you know?
06:11 It is beating so fast.
06:13 Like a clock.
06:15 Tick, tick, tick, tick.
06:18 Doctor, your man is standing right here.
06:23 Do you know what happens in the real life and the filmy life?
06:27 In the filmy life, marriage happens after a lot of difficulties.
06:31 You convince your parents, convince your mother, you mess with her, mess with him.
06:35 And in the real life, there are a lot of difficulties after marriage.
06:39 You will know about the flour later.
06:42 You are wrong.
06:44 What about your college girlfriend?
06:47 She is my girlfriend.
06:49 You did the right thing by leaving her.
06:52 We all enjoyed with her.
06:53 She is my wife.
06:55 Nurse, is the money of the patient who died yesterday, in the bed no. 3?
07:01 Yes, I am checking.
07:02 Go and check.
07:04 Until the money is not there, the body should not leave the hospital.
07:07 Okay?
07:09 Doctor, I am feeling very dizzy.
07:12 I am feeling very dizzy.
07:14 Since when?
07:16 Since 2-4 days.
07:18 I have taken this medicine.
07:21 Go and take it from the chemist.
07:23 It will be fine.
07:24 No.
07:25 Your nails will grow.
07:27 Brother, tell me one thing.
07:30 What is the difference between love and poetry?
07:33 There is a big difference between love and poetry.
07:36 Love wears a vest and poetry wears a hat.
07:41 Nurse, the patient in bed no. 1, should take 2 tablets every 8 hours.
07:48 Did you give?
07:49 I gave, doctor.
07:51 8 tablets in 2 hours.
07:54 What are you doing?
07:58 Don't do like this.
07:59 What will happen to my hospital?
08:02 I will explain.
08:05 The patient in bed no. 2 should take 1 tablet every 12 hours.
08:11 You must have given.
08:13 I gave.
08:15 12 tablets in 1 hour.
08:16 Oh my God!
08:18 Very bad.
08:22 He will die.
08:23 He is very thin.
08:24 Sorry, doctor.
08:31 The patient in bed no. 3, should take his body.
08:36 Oh shit!
08:40 What will happen if you stay in the hotel with your girlfriend?
08:46 Don't ask me anything.
08:48 She said that she has a doctor.
08:52 I said, take this.
08:54 Then she said, she has a scud.
08:57 I said, take this.
09:00 She said, she has a scud.
09:01 I said, take this.
09:03 Then what happened?
09:04 Then what happened?
09:05 She said, don't wear my clothes again.
09:09 What's the matter?
09:15 You look very sad.
09:16 What should I do?
09:18 I went to the doctor.
09:20 He said, she is pregnant.
09:21 Doctor said, she is gay.
09:23 She is pregnant.
09:24 Did God give you a pump to fill the LQG?
09:28 Shit!
09:29 Suzy!
09:39 Suzy!
09:41 Come here.
09:43 Yes, sir.
09:44 See, actually I don't have any work in the office.
09:49 So, I am thinking, I will play a quiz with you.
09:53 Okay?
09:55 Okay, sir.
09:56 I want to see how is your IQ.
09:58 Tell me.
10:00 With a simple kiss in 30 seconds, she got pregnant?
10:07 Tell me what?
10:10 Don't know, sir.
10:11 Think, use your brain.
10:14 She got pregnant.
10:17 Cheap, sir. How cheap?
10:20 Oh my God!
10:21 Cheapness is in your mind.
10:25 Balloon.
10:26 See, you are not doing it right.
10:44 Madam, it's not good to be in the crowd of bus.
10:46 It's yoga.
10:47 Tina, what happened?
10:56 Why are you so worried?
10:57 You should be happy.
10:58 You are getting married in a few days.
11:00 Sister-in-law, this is the problem.
11:02 Why? What happened?
11:04 Last night, I was talking to Rohan.
11:06 Yes.
11:07 He asked me, are you a virgin?
11:08 So, what did you say?
11:10 Sister-in-law, I am telling a lie.
11:11 Now, tell me, Diya.
11:14 Sister-in-law, I don't understand.
11:16 Why do these boys always want virgin girls?
11:18 It's simple.
11:20 To avoid criticism and comparison.
11:22 That's it.
11:23 See, you did gym for 2 hours.
11:29 The house was clean.
11:30 You should have seen yourself.
11:32 Was it a box-office or a surf-a-thon?
11:34 No.
11:35 My mobile's shower was lost.
11:37 Because of this, I had to clean the whole house.
11:39 What?
11:42 Why are you always on your mobile?
11:44 Keep your mobile aside.
11:45 First, tell me where were you yesterday?
11:47 I called you so many times.
11:48 Your phone was switched off.
11:50 How could I pick it up?
11:51 I went on a date yesterday.
11:53 Date?
11:54 Tell me, with whom did you go on a date?
11:56 With Rohan.
11:57 Rohan?
11:58 What did you do?
11:59 First, we went to a movie.
12:00 Movie?
12:01 Yes.
12:02 After that, we went to a disco.
12:03 Disco?
12:04 Yes.
12:05 Then?
12:06 Then, we went to a movie overnight.
12:07 Overnight?
12:08 You turned out to be a very daddy-like girl.
12:10 Tell me, what did you do?
12:12 First, we went to his house.
12:14 His house was so beautiful when we opened the door.
12:18 And, there was a very soft fragrance coming out of his house.
12:21 First, he switched on the light in the hall.
12:23 Then, we went to his bedroom.
12:25 Yes.
12:26 He took me to his bed.
12:29 Then, he lit two candles.
12:32 Then, he came close to me.
12:34 The music was playing softly.
12:36 Then, we danced a romantic dance.
12:40 That was a very romantic dance.
12:42 Yes.
12:43 Then, we drank wine.
12:45 And, he showed me a very nice thing.
12:48 He touched my cheeks.
12:50 He touched my eyes.
12:52 He kissed my lips.
12:54 And, then he opened the bottom of the bottle.
12:58 Do you know?
12:59 The same thing that I did yesterday, shopping.
13:01 Shopping?
13:02 Yes.
13:03 You went shopping yesterday?
13:05 Yes.
13:06 Before the movie, we went shopping.
13:07 And, you didn't tell me?
13:09 No.
13:10 We were going to go to the venue.
13:12 You didn't tell me that you bought clothes.
13:16 Yes.
13:17 Do you know?
13:18 50% sale is going on there.
13:19 Sale?
13:20 Yes.
13:21 I also want to go shopping.
13:22 What else is there?
13:23 There was one piece.
13:24 Then, jeans.
13:25 Then, top.
13:26 There were so many varieties.
13:29 Top?
13:30 Yes.
13:31 I also want to buy a new top.
13:32 My birthday is coming next month.
13:34 Yes.
13:35 Do you know?
13:36 Cosmetics are of so many good qualities.
13:38 50% sale is going on there.
13:39 50%?
13:40 Yes.
13:41 I saw a lot of mascara there.
13:43 Don't expect too much.
13:45 There are girls.
13:46 You can change the topic anytime.
13:48 Oh, God!
13:52 What a movie it is!
13:53 I like everything about Salman Khan.
13:56 What else do you like?
13:58 Everything.
13:59 Do you like the name?
14:01 Yes.
14:02 Such a common name.
14:03 There is a more famous name than this.
14:06 If you call 100 people, they will give you a new name.
14:09 Really?
14:10 What is that?
14:11 That is a shoe.
14:12 What?
14:13 Where were you?
14:25 I have been calling you since so long.
14:26 I have been waiting for you.
14:27 Stop shouting.
14:29 I went to the doctor.
14:31 Why?
14:32 What happened?
14:33 I had toothache.
14:34 The doctor said that I have a toothache.
14:36 The doctor said that you are sick.
14:38 But you said it wrong.
14:39 What?
14:41 Excuse me.
14:45 Yes, ma'am.
14:46 What can I do for you?
14:47 How much is this mobile?
14:48 It is for 18,000.
14:50 Really?
14:51 Oh, God!
14:52 This one?
14:55 This one?
14:57 Oh, God!
14:58 Oh, God!
14:59 What?
15:00 Oh, God!
15:01 Oh, God!
15:07 Brother!
15:08 Brother!
15:09 Why are you crying?
15:12 Brother has gone.
15:13 He has gone.
15:15 So?
15:16 He is angry with me.
15:17 Why is he angry?
15:19 He says that he wants a divorce.
15:22 Why does he want a divorce?
15:24 He says that he is not happy.
15:26 So what?
15:27 Make him happy.
15:28 Why should I make him happy?
15:29 The whole neighborhood is happy.
15:31 That idiot is very arrogant.
15:33 Hey!
15:34 You girls don't understand.
15:36 We girls are no less than anyone.
15:38 I don't know how many roles we play from our youth to our old age.
15:41 From youth to old age?
15:43 What roles do you play?
15:44 I have a whole bureau.
15:46 From 16 to 25 years of age, I play football.
15:49 Just like you.
15:50 There are 22 people behind one.
15:51 From 26 to 35 years of age,
15:54 I play cricket like a ball.
15:56 I clap for one.
15:57 The rest of them clap for me.
15:59 You are so funny.
16:00 From 36 to 45 years of age,
16:02 I am like a tennis ball.
16:04 One says, "Keep it away."
16:05 The other says, "Keep it away."
16:06 One says, "Keep it away."
16:07 The other says, "Keep it away."
16:08 From 45 years of age,
16:09 I am like a golf ball.
16:11 The farther I go, the more I get hit.
16:13 Hey, Marthi.
16:18 I came to the park to see you.
16:22 I thought I would see the girl.
16:24 Where is she?
16:25 There is no boy or girl.
16:26 I told you, there is no boy or girl.
16:28 You told me a good joke.
16:31 It made me laugh.
16:32 Should I tell you a joke?
16:33 Yes.
16:34 Once, an Indian, a Pakistani and an African
16:37 were delivered to the hospital.
16:39 Right.
16:40 First, the Pakistani was delivered.
16:42 Right.
16:43 The nurse brought the child.
16:44 She said, "Congratulations, you will have a son."
16:46 She saw the son.
16:48 She said, "Congratulations, you will have a daughter."
16:50 Then the Indian was also delivered.
16:52 The nurse brought the child again.
16:54 She said, "Congratulations, you will have a son."
16:56 She saw the son.
16:57 She said, "Congratulations, you will have a daughter."
16:58 Then the African was also delivered.
17:00 The nurse brought the child again.
17:02 She said, "Congratulations, you will have a son."
17:04 The child was 5 inches tall.
17:06 Marthi.
17:07 I fell in love.
17:10 You fell in love?
17:12 You should stand in love.
17:14 Nirman.
17:17 I am over-emotional.
17:18 My problem is that I get angry easily.
17:23 Oh my God.
17:24 You are an illiterate.
17:25 I see illiterate, illiterate, and illiterate people.
17:30 What?
17:31 You are an educated person.
17:33 Yes, I am.
17:35 Do you know how to count?
17:38 Yes, I know.
17:40 How much?
17:41 100.
17:42 Okay.
17:43 Do one thing.
17:46 Count from 1 to 7 in your mind.
17:50 Then count from 61 to 62.
17:58 Count loudly.
18:00 Alone.
18:02 You will get angry easily.
18:05 Hail, Nirman.
18:07 Oh, innocent.
18:09 Oh, innocent.
18:10 You are so innocent.
18:12 You are great.
18:13 Your talent is beyond your reach.
18:16 Oh God, I have come to ask for my husband.
18:21 I don't want anything in this world.
18:23 Give me whatever I want.
18:26 Give me bungalows, cars, money.
18:30 Give me a house full of money.
18:32 Oh God, let my husband be blessed with wealth.
18:36 Give me whatever I want.
18:38 I will decide how to live.
18:41 Tell me one thing.
18:44 If a Chinese couple gets premature delivery,
18:48 that is, if the baby is born before 9 months,
18:51 what will you name it?
18:52 Suddenly.
18:54 Suzie, I love you very much.
19:07 You know what?
19:09 All the secretaries of all the companies in India are jealous of you.
19:15 Why?
19:16 Because you are so beautiful.
19:18 Thank you so much, boss.
19:20 Tell me one thing.
19:22 If the world ends in the next 30 minutes,
19:25 what would you like to do in those 30 minutes?
19:27 Of course, I will have sex with you.
19:31 What about the remaining 29 minutes?
19:36 What do you keep searching for in your mobile and laptop?
19:39 What should I do?
19:41 I don't have a mirror at home.
19:43 There is one thing.
19:47 What is a condom's full name?
19:49 That's it.
19:51 You don't know.
19:53 Do you know?
19:54 It's a simple thing.
19:55 Control on natural drops of man's leakage.
19:58 Shut up.
19:59 Honey, I am very angry with you.
20:03 You went out alone.
20:06 You didn't take me with you.
20:08 Think of something.
20:09 You have a wife.
20:10 Darling, my darling, my cutie pie.
20:13 When someone goes to a restaurant,
20:15 he doesn't take the lunch box with him.
20:17 What?
20:18 I am very happy to have a husband like you.
20:23 I am not.
20:24 What?
20:25 I am in a mobile.
20:27 Okay.
20:28 What will you do if I get lost?
20:32 I will publish it in the newspaper.
20:36 Really?
20:37 What will be written in it?
20:39 Whoever gets it, gets it.
20:41 What?
20:42 Darling, what do you do when you miss me?
20:49 I eat your favorite chocolate.
20:52 What do you do when you miss me?
20:55 I eat paan masala.
20:58 What?
20:59 I like everything about Salman Khan.
21:05 What else?
21:07 Everything.
21:08 You like his name?
21:10 Yes.
21:11 Such a common name.
21:12 There is a more famous name.
21:15 If you call 100 people, they will watch Ninianu.
21:19 Really?
21:20 What is that?
21:21 That is a shoe.
21:22 What?
21:23 Mona, listen.
21:26 What?
21:27 I have a good question.
21:29 What?
21:30 What is that thing that makes kids go out of the house?
21:35 What a bad thing you are talking.
21:37 This is a sweet thing.
21:39 What is sweet in this?
21:41 School bell.
21:42 What?
21:43 Change your thinking, the country will change.
21:49 (Crying)
22:00 Why are you crying?
22:01 Brother is gone.
22:03 He is not gone.
22:04 So?
22:05 He is angry with me.
22:07 Why is he angry?
22:08 He says he wants a divorce.
22:11 He wants a divorce?
22:13 He says he is not happy.
22:15 So what? Make him happy.
22:17 Why should I be happy?
22:19 The whole world is happy.
22:21 That idiot is happy.
22:23 Listen.
22:27 My friend Meena is getting a divorce.
22:30 Why?
22:31 What happened?
22:32 What should I tell you?
22:34 This male nature is a very bad thing.
22:37 Because of this, divorce happens.
22:39 Really?
22:40 Yes.
22:41 Like women are very beautiful.
22:43 Yes, they are.
22:44 How?
22:46 If you men behave like before marriage,
22:50 if you do the same after marriage,
22:52 then there will be no divorce.
22:54 Women behave like after marriage,
22:57 if they don't get married before marriage.
22:59 What?
23:00 Darling.
23:05 Look here.
23:07 Look, how am I looking today?
23:11 As you look everyday.
23:13 You are a real waste.
23:15 Your friends are better than you.
23:17 At least they come and praise me.
23:19 Ismaan came?
23:21 Yes. How do you know?
23:23 She is a newcomer.
23:24 What?
23:25 What is behind the vest?
23:31 You are singing.
23:33 Tell me.
23:34 If Sonam Kapoor was an actress in this song,
23:37 what would have happened?
23:38 What would have happened?
23:39 The wording of this song would have changed.
23:42 The beginning of this song would have been like this.
23:45 What is behind the vest?
23:47 It would have been like this.
23:48 Nothing, nothing, nothing.
23:50 Darling.
23:51 Look.
23:52 We are going to get married.
23:55 You should quit smoking before marriage.
24:00 Yes, I will.
24:01 Quit drinking too.
24:04 I will quit that too.
24:05 And yes.
24:06 You should quit watching football matches with your friends.
24:11 Quit that too.
24:12 Yes, I will quit that too.
24:14 Okay.
24:15 How sweet.
24:17 Tell me one more thing.
24:18 What else can you quit for me?
24:22 I want to marry you.
24:25 What?
24:26 Come in, sir.
24:29 Such a small room?
24:35 There is no TV, fridge or anything.
24:38 Did I pay for your hotel?
24:41 You idiot.
24:42 This is not a hotel room.
24:44 It's a lift.
24:45 I want a divorce right now.
24:51 What happened?
24:52 Why are you getting angry?
24:53 I am angry.
24:54 And what are you doing?
24:56 I did something.
24:57 What did you do?
24:58 Your neighbor is fighting with Kavita.
25:00 I know everything.
25:01 What proof do you have?
25:03 Yesterday, her husband came here wearing your underwear.
25:06 What?
25:08 Madam, look at this.
25:10 It's not good.
25:12 Show me more.
25:13 Look at this.
25:17 It's a 'Solapuri'.
25:18 No.
25:20 This is not good either.
25:21 Madam, will this do?
25:24 This is 'Kolhapuri'.
25:25 Really?
25:27 No.
25:29 There is no difference.
25:31 It doesn't look good.
25:32 I will get it.
25:34 I will get it.
25:35 I will get it.
25:36 Madam, you will like this.
25:39 This? Pink color?
25:41 I have a lot of pink colors.
25:43 No. I don't want this.
25:44 Sorry, madam.
25:46 I showed you so many clothes.
25:47 You didn't like any of them.
25:49 It's okay.
25:50 No problem about sorry.
25:51 I came to buy vegetables.
25:53 Mr. Harry.
25:56 Okay.
25:58 I am sending you.
26:00 I am sending you.
26:05 Some placement requirements.
26:07 Some placement requirements.
26:10 Doll.
26:12 Are you free tonight?
26:17 Madam, don't talk about free.
26:20 I can give you corporate discount.
26:22 What?
26:23 People are not getting sick these days.
26:25 What is happening?
26:26 Doctor. Doctor.
26:28 I am very worried.
26:29 A girl had a sepsis last night.
26:31 That's why I am not getting the pressure.
26:34 What are you doing?
26:36 Give me. Give me.
26:37 Give me. Give me.
26:38 Give me. Give me.
26:39 You idiot.
26:42 Go and take the condom and go to the bathroom.
26:44 What?
26:45 Nurse.
26:46 Do you know?
26:47 A person has thousands of bones.
26:51 Thousands.
26:52 Speak softly, doctor.
26:54 Don't you have to wait?
26:55 Dogs are sitting.
26:56 You know what, doctor?
26:58 I wish you were with my SM.
27:00 I would have saved you all the time.
27:02 I can't.
27:03 You are a miser.
27:07 Don't you want to send me to other nurses?
27:10 Yes.
27:11 Go.
27:13 Doctor. Doctor.
27:15 I have a stomach ache.
27:17 Doctor.
27:18 Go and see.
27:19 Go and take a bath.
27:20 How can I take a bath?
27:21 I don't want to poop.
27:22 Hey, Ram Kishore.
27:23 What happened?
27:24 I have a stomach ache.
27:25 Whatever I eat, it goes away.
27:26 I eat rice, rice goes away.
27:28 I eat flatbread, flatbread goes away.
27:30 I am very worried.
27:31 Do something to make me normal.
27:33 Eat the flatbread.
27:34 No.
27:36 You are very shameless.
27:39 I am shameless since childhood.
27:43 I am already naked.
27:45 What?
27:46 I love you, sis.
27:57 What did you say?
27:58 What did you say?
28:00 I said, I love you.
28:02 Why did you hit me when I didn't hear you?
28:04 Sister-in-law.
28:08 What happened?
28:09 Why are you so affectionate today?
28:11 Sister-in-law, I want to ask you a question.
28:13 Yes, ask.
28:14 What is this movie called?
28:16 Blue film?
28:17 Family film.
28:18 What sister-in-law?
28:19 You are saying anything.
28:20 Yesterday, my friends were saying that it is not a family film.
28:23 Hey, you fool.
28:24 It is a family film.
28:25 Everyone can watch it.
28:26 But separately.
28:27 Yes.
28:28 Where were you?
28:34 I have been calling you since so long.
28:35 I have been waiting for you since so long.
28:36 Stop it, father.
28:38 Don't shout.
28:39 I had gone to the doctor.
28:40 Why?
28:41 What happened?
28:42 I had toothache.
28:43 Doctor said that I have a toothache.
28:45 The doctor said that you are sick.
28:46 You told me wrong.
28:48 What?
28:49 Yes.
28:50 What are you handling?
29:01 Nothing.
29:03 Tell me, if a girl takes off all her clothes, what happens?
29:09 You only think about dirt.
29:13 You always think about dirt.
29:14 You are right.
29:16 Dirt is not in our mind, it is in your mind.
29:19 Is the cupboard empty?
29:21 Oh God.
29:22 Suzy darling.
29:24 Yes.
29:25 Tell me something.
29:26 Yes.
29:27 Your face is exactly like my third wife.
29:33 Like her.
29:34 Like her.
29:36 Sir, how many wives do you have?
29:38 Two.
29:40 Yes.
29:41 Where are you going?
29:42 Tell me something.
29:44 I am going to the hospital.
29:45 Okay.
29:46 This hospital is famous for its patients.
29:50 The patients get well very fast.
29:52 And you are the reason for that.
29:54 Because you are healthy.
29:56 I can feel your pulse.
30:00 It is beating like a clock.
30:05 Tick tock.
30:07 It is fun.
30:10 Doctor, your man is standing here.
30:14 Do you know the difference between real and filmy life?
30:18 In filmy life, marriage happens after a lot of difficulties.
30:22 You have to convince your parents to get married.
30:26 And in real life, marriage is a big problem.
30:30 You will know the truth later.
30:33 What is the solution for your college girlfriend?
30:39 She is my girlfriend.
30:40 You did the right thing by leaving her.
30:43 We all enjoyed with her.
30:44 She is my wife.
30:46 Nurse, is the money of the patient in bed no. 3 is enough?
30:51 Yes, I am checking.
30:53 Go and check.
30:55 The body should not leave the hospital until the money is paid.
30:58 Okay.
31:00 Doctor, I am feeling very dizzy.
31:02 Sit here.
31:04 How long have you been here?
31:06 For the past two to four days.
31:08 Okay.
31:09 I have written the medicines.
31:11 Go and take them from the chemist.
31:13 You can say it yourself.
31:15 Your nails will grow.
31:17 Brother, tell me one thing.
31:21 What is the difference between love and poetry?
31:23 There is a big difference between love and poetry.
31:26 Love wears a vest and poetry wears a bra.
31:32 Nurse, the patient in bed no. 1 should take two tablets every 8 hours.
31:38 Did you give it to her?
31:40 I gave it to her.
31:42 Eight tablets in two hours.
31:45 What are you doing?
31:48 Don't do like this.
31:50 This is my hospital.
31:52 What will happen?
31:54 Sorry.
31:56 The patient in bed no. 2 should take one tablet every 12 hours.
32:01 You must have given it to her.
32:03 I gave it to her.
32:05 12 tablets in one hour.
32:06 Oh my God!
32:08 Very bad.
32:12 Poor guy will die.
32:13 He is very thin.
32:14 Sorry doctor.
32:16 It's okay.
32:19 Okay.
32:22 Doctor, the patient in bed no. 3 should take one tablet every 12 hours.
32:26 Oh shit!
32:30 I am dying.
32:33 What will happen if I stay in the hotel with my girlfriend?
32:36 Don't ask me anything.
32:38 I told her that I have a top.
32:42 I said, take this.
32:44 Then she said, I have a skirt.
32:47 I said, take this.
32:49 Then she said, I have a panty.
32:51 I said, take this.
32:52 Then what happened?
32:54 Then she said, don't wear my clothes again.
32:58 What's the matter?
33:05 You look sad.
33:07 What can I do?
33:09 I went to the doctor.
33:11 He said, I have gas.
33:13 I didn't wear it.
33:15 Did God give you this pump to fill the energy?
33:18 Oh shit!
33:19 Suzy!
33:30 Suzy!
33:32 Come here.
33:34 Yes sir.
33:35 See, actually I don't have any work in the office.
33:40 So, I am thinking of playing a quiz with you.
33:44 Okay?
33:47 I want to see your IQ.
33:48 Tell me.
33:50 With a simple kiss in 30 seconds,
33:55 she got pregnant?
33:57 Tell me what?
34:00 Don't know sir.
34:02 Think, use your brain.
34:04 She got pregnant.
34:07 Cheap sir, how cheap?
34:10 Oh my God!
34:12 Cheapness is in your mind.
34:14 Balloon.
34:16 Balloon.
34:17 See, you are not doing it right.
34:34 Madam, it's not good to be in the crowd of bus.
34:37 (Laughing)
34:39 Dina, what happened?
34:46 Why are you so worried?
34:48 You should be happy.
34:50 You are getting married in a few days.
34:52 Sister-in-law, this is the problem.
34:54 Why? What happened?
34:56 Last night, I was talking to Rohan.
34:58 He asked me, are you a virgin?
35:00 What did you say?
35:02 Sister-in-law, I am telling the truth.
35:04 Now, tell me Dina.
35:06 I don't understand,
35:07 why do these boys always want virgin ladies?
35:09 It's simple.
35:11 To avoid criticism and comparison.
35:13 (Laughing)
35:15 Oh my God!
35:18 Did you go to the gym for 2 hours?
35:20 The house is clean.
35:22 Do you have to sell anything?
35:24 Do you have to make a box-office?
35:26 No, my mobile was out of charge.
35:28 I had to clean the house for this.
35:30 (Laughing)
35:32 Why are you always on your mobile?
35:35 I was on the mobile last night.
35:36 Do you know where you were yesterday?
35:38 I called you so many times.
35:40 Your phone was switched off.
35:42 How could I wake you up?
35:44 You went on a date with me yesterday.
35:46 Date?
35:48 With whom?
35:50 Rohan.
35:52 What did you do?
35:54 We went to a movie.
35:56 Movie?
35:58 Yes.
36:00 Then we went to a disco.
36:02 Disco?
36:04 Yes.
36:05 The house was so beautiful.
36:07 It smelled so good.
36:09 He lit the hall light.
36:11 Then we went to his bedroom.
36:13 Yes.
36:15 He took me to his bed.
36:17 Yes.
36:19 Then he lit two candles.
36:21 Then he came close to me.
36:23 The music was playing.
36:25 Then we danced romantically.
36:27 You were very romantic.
36:29 Yes.
36:31 Then we went to the beach.
36:33 Yes.
36:34 Then we drank wine.
36:36 Then he made me eat a very tasty food.
36:38 He touched my cheeks.
36:40 He touched my eyes.
36:42 He kissed my lips.
36:44 And then he said something.
36:46 Do you know?
36:48 The same thing I did yesterday.
36:50 Shopping.
36:52 Shopping?
36:54 Yes.
36:56 You went shopping yesterday?
36:58 Yes.
37:00 We went shopping before the movie.
37:02 You didn't even tell me that you went shopping.
37:05 Yes.
37:07 There is a 50% sale.
37:09 Sale?
37:11 I also want to go shopping.
37:13 What else is there?
37:15 There was one piece, jeans, top.
37:17 There were so many varieties.
37:19 Top?
37:21 Yes.
37:23 I am also getting a new top.
37:25 I am also getting a new top.
37:27 There are so many good quality cosmetics.
37:29 50% sale.
37:31 Yes.
37:32 I saw a lot of fun there.
37:34 Don't expect too much.
37:36 There are girls.
37:38 You can change the topic anytime.
37:40 Oh my god.
37:42 There is such a great movie.
37:44 I like everything about Salman Khan.
37:46 What else do you like?
37:48 Everything.
37:50 Do you like the name?
37:52 Yes.
37:54 Such a common name.
37:56 There is a more famous name.
37:59 Let's watch the movie.
38:00 What is that?
38:02 Hey, you idiot.
38:04 What happened?
38:13 You look worried.
38:15 I accidentally ate my sister-in-law's I-peel.
38:17 I don't know what will happen.
38:19 What will happen?
38:21 You will be three feet wet.
38:23 Go and live your life.
38:25 What else happened?
38:26 Why didn't you come to office?
38:28 I went to meet my girlfriend.
38:30 For what?
38:32 For what?
38:34 For many things.
38:36 How much will you work?
38:43 Don't you have a girlfriend?
38:45 I have.
38:47 Still you are working in office.
38:49 You are not getting any work.
38:51 I am getting work.
38:54 Do you know the difference between a job and a girlfriend?
38:57 I know.
38:59 Tell me.
39:01 Job is a soft.
39:03 I heard that my girlfriend is buying a car.
39:08 She hasn't bought it yet.
39:10 Which car is she buying?
39:12 I have decided to buy a Nano.
39:14 Don't buy Nano.
39:16 Why?
39:18 It has two disadvantages.
39:20 What are those?
39:23 I can't make you pregnant.
39:25 Darling, what are you doing?
39:29 Nothing. You don't let me do anything.
39:31 So, I have to do it.
39:33 I have a question.
39:35 Ask me.
39:37 What is the law of reverse dynamics?
39:40 Okay.
39:42 Reverse dynamics.
39:44 I will give you a simple example.
39:46 When a man becomes rich,
39:49 he becomes naughty.
39:52 Got it?
39:53 And when a woman becomes naughty,
39:57 she becomes rich.
39:59 Hey, you girls don't understand.
40:04 We girls are no less than anyone.
40:06 We play so many roles from our youth to our old age.
40:09 What role do you play from your youth to your old age?
40:12 I have a whole beer.
40:14 I play football from the age of 16 to 25.
40:17 Just like you.
40:20 I play basketball from the age of 22 to 22.
40:22 I play cricket from the age of 26 to 35.
40:25 I hit one ball and the rest of the ball goes in the water.
40:28 I play tennis from the age of 36 to 45.
40:32 One says, "You keep it."
40:34 The other says, "You keep it."
40:36 The other says, "You keep it."
40:38 I play golf from the age of 45.
40:40 The farther I go, the better I get.
40:43 Tina, listen.
40:49 You know what?
40:50 Lions have sex 4-6 times in a night.
40:53 What are you saying?
40:55 Idiot, you could have said it earlier.
40:57 I just joined the role.
40:59 Listen, darling.
41:04 I got a new Polio.
41:06 See how it is.
41:08 Wow!
41:12 I got a Polio too.
41:14 Yes, show me.
41:17 Don't you laugh?
41:18 Why?
41:20 You don't laugh at any of these photos.
41:23 Don't you have a girlfriend?
41:27 Brother-in-law, what is this?
41:36 I am your sister-in-law.
41:38 That's what I am saying.
41:40 Sister-in-law is half family.
41:43 If you try to kiss me, you don't know what I will do.
41:46 I don't know.
41:48 You don't want to know?
41:52 You don't want to know?
41:53 What has he done?
42:18 Rascal!
42:21 Who is a rascal?
42:22 Nothing.
42:24 Who are you abusing?
42:26 There is someone.
42:28 Don't you know what a rascal means?
42:30 I don't know.
42:32 A rascal is someone who goes to a chemist shop
42:34 and not to an ice cream parlour
42:36 when his girlfriend says,
42:38 I love strawberry flavour.
42:50 Hi Pinky.
42:51 Hi.
42:53 You got married?
42:55 You are wearing a vermillion.
42:57 Tell me, how was the wedding night?
43:00 What nonsense is this?
43:02 Wedding night is not nonsense.
43:05 Wedding night is of many types.
43:08 What do you mean?
43:10 In the 80's, the bride used to sit in the wedding night
43:14 and stay quiet inside.
43:18 Don't make any noise.
43:19 Let her do whatever she wants.
43:21 And today, she is getting married in 2013.
43:24 What?
43:26 Shout loudly so that she gets clear
43:28 that she is the opening batsman.
43:30 Oh shit!
43:32 Are you ready?
43:36 I am very tired today.
43:40 I feel like dying.
43:42 Then I will also die.
43:46 Do you love me so much?
43:48 Darling, I won't be able to bear this happiness.
43:51 What?
43:53 Suji.
43:55 Suji.
43:58 What did you call me for?
44:01 I have made a new deal ID for my company.
44:06 Just set the password.
44:10 You know what I mean?
44:14 Yes, sir.
44:15 Sir, what should I write?
44:21 Write 'Dick'.
44:25 Sir, the password is being rejected.
44:31 Yours is too small.
44:33 Did you keep Suji's name or yours is?
44:39 Sir, this is my original name.
44:42 Very nice name. I like it very much.
44:44 Why did you leave your job at a different place?
44:47 Sir, I hate old men.
44:49 The boss there was aged and he was a Turkish kind of boss.
44:54 And I like young people like you.
44:57 That's good.
44:59 How much salary do you want?
45:01 One lakh per month.
45:04 I will give you five lakhs.
45:07 Sir, you are joking.
45:09 You have started it.
45:11 Yes.
45:12 Sir.
45:18 What is this?
45:20 I have a headache since morning.
45:22 I have to make a slogan for the campaign of safe electricity.
45:26 I am in a lot of trouble.
45:28 Sir, can I help you?
45:30 Please, I will enjoy it.
45:32 Okay, just a second.
45:34 It's done, sir.
45:40 Very good. Tell me.
45:41 How would you feel if somebody turns you on and leaves?
45:45 Peter, Suji is here.
45:51 Send him in.
45:53 Fast.
45:55 I have a headache since two days.
45:57 Good morning, sir.
45:59 What good morning?
46:01 This is not a good morning.
46:03 It's afternoon.
46:05 How are you since two days?
46:07 Sir, I was not feeling well.
46:10 You women have a problem.
46:14 You come once a week and leave six days.
46:17 Sir, what do you mean by women's problem?
46:19 You are technically defected.
46:21 How?
46:23 How?
46:25 Look, there is a sandwich line next to the entertainment.
46:31 What?
46:33 (Music)
46:51 Suji darling.
46:53 Tell me something.
46:56 Your face is exactly like my third wife.
47:04 Sir, how many wives do you have?
47:07 Two.
47:09 Suji, I told you to meet me.
47:16 Sir, I am mailing you but a traffic police has just come.
47:20 He says that he will be 68 in this week.
47:25 Why?
47:26 Sir, 69 is a lie.
47:28 (Laughter)
47:30 Suji.
47:41 Suji.
47:43 Come, sir.
47:45 Yes, sir.
47:47 Actually, I don't have any work in office.
47:52 So, I am thinking of playing a quiz with you.
47:56 Okay?
47:58 I want to see your IQ.
48:00 Tell me.
48:02 With a simple kiss in 30 seconds, she got pregnant?
48:09 Tell me what?
48:12 Don't know, sir.
48:14 Think, use your brain.
48:16 She got pregnant.
48:20 Disgusting, sir. How disgusting?
48:22 Oh my God.
48:24 Disgust is in your mind.
48:26 Balloon.
48:28 (Laughter)
48:30 Oh, what are you saying?
48:33 Oh, shit.
48:35 What happened?
48:37 Do you know? Kallu's wife got kidnapped.
48:40 Her jewelry is stolen.
48:42 Thank God, she didn't lose her dignity.
48:45 Why dignity?
48:48 She sold her jewelry and got you back.
48:50 (Music)
48:52 Why do you do useless work?
49:12 Tell me, what did you do when your mother died?
49:15 Useless work?
49:17 I did such a good deed on Mother's Day.
49:21 What did you do?
49:23 I helped many girls to become mothers.
49:26 What?
49:28 (Laughter)
49:30 Tina, why are you so sad?
49:32 What happened?
49:34 I got a proposal yesterday.
49:36 So?
49:38 I didn't get the proposal.
49:40 Why? What happened?
49:42 My parents asked the boy's parents.
49:46 What does he do? How much does he earn?
49:48 His parents said, the boy is a clerk.
49:51 He earns 4000 a month and earns 15000 more.
49:55 Then the boy's parents asked my parents.
49:58 What does the girl do?
50:00 My parents said, our daughter is a nurse.
50:03 She earns 2500 and earns 50,000 less.
50:06 (Laughter)
50:08 Hello.
50:11 Yes, Janu.
50:13 Darling, you are saying?
50:15 Yes, I am fine.
50:16 How was your Bangkok trip?
50:18 It was good.
50:20 When are you coming?
50:22 I have to stay here for 3-4 days.
50:27 Why?
50:29 I have to do some shopping.
50:32 Remember, I can sell the things you can buy here.
50:37 I will come tomorrow.
50:40 (Laughter)
50:43 Hey darling, I am back.
50:45 I missed you a lot.
50:48 I missed you too, my darling. How are you?
50:51 I am good.
50:53 I have to give you a good news.
50:55 Give me a good news.
50:57 I am pregnant.
50:59 I was in London.
51:01 So what?
51:03 I saw your photo.
51:05 I saw it.
51:07 (Music)
51:09 (Music)
51:10 (Music)
51:12 (Music)
51:14 (Music)
51:16 (Music)
51:18 (Music)
51:20 (Music)
51:22 (Music)
51:24 Suzie, I love you very much.
51:29 You know what?
51:31 All the secretaries of companies in India are jealous of you.
51:38 Because you are so beautiful.
51:40 Thank you so much for this.
51:42 Tell me one thing.
51:44 If the world ends in the next 30 minutes,
51:47 what would you like to do in those 30 minutes?
51:49 Of course, I will have sex with you.
51:53 What about the remaining 29 minutes?
51:55 (Laughter)
51:57 (Phone rings)
51:59 What is the matter? Why are you so worried?
52:06 Mom, I have lost 70 rupees.
52:08 I don't think I can get up.
52:10 If you can lose 72 rupees,
52:13 you can't lose 70 rupees.
52:15 (Laughter)
52:17 Nurse.
52:20 Yes.
52:22 Where is the doctor?
52:24 He has gone out.
52:26 Tell the doctor.
52:28 What is the use of telling you?
52:30 Will you tell me your problem?
52:33 The sight is weak.
52:36 The things around me look big.
52:39 First, stop looking here.
52:42 Where should I look?
52:44 Your sight is weak.
52:46 Look outside the window.
52:48 What do you see?
52:50 I see green trees.
52:52 What do you see above them?
52:54 The sun.
52:56 What will a fool see beyond the sun?
52:58 (Laughter)
53:01 No.
53:02 You are very shameless.
53:05 I am shameless since childhood.
53:09 I was naked since birth.
53:11 What?
53:13 (Music)
53:32 Mona, listen.
53:34 What?
53:36 There is a good question.
53:38 What?
53:41 How do kids come out?
53:42 What a bad question.
53:44 This is a sweet question.
53:46 What is sweet in this?
53:48 School bell.
53:50 What?
53:52 Change your thinking, the country will change.
53:54 (Laughter)
53:56 (Crying)
54:02 My brother.
54:04 Brother.
54:06 Why are you crying?
54:08 I am crying.
54:10 He is not there.
54:11 So?
54:13 He is angry with me.
54:15 Why is he angry?
54:17 He says he wants a divorce.
54:19 Why does he want a divorce?
54:21 He says he is not happy.
54:23 So what? Make him happy.
54:25 Why should I make him happy?
54:27 The whole environment is happy.
54:29 That fool is having a big problem.
54:31 (Laughter)
54:33 Listen.
54:35 My friend Meena.
54:37 She is getting a divorce.
54:39 What should I tell you?
54:40 This male nature is a very bad thing.
54:43 Because of this, divorce happens.
54:45 Really?
54:47 Yes.
54:49 Like women are very beautiful.
54:51 Yes, they are.
54:53 How?
54:55 If you men behave like before marriage,
54:57 similarly if you do it after marriage,
54:59 then there will be no divorce.
55:01 Women who behave after marriage,
55:03 if they do it before marriage,
55:05 there will be no marriage.
55:08 (Laughter)
55:09 Darling.
55:12 Look here.
55:14 Look, how am I looking today?
55:17 The way you look everyday.
55:20 You are a disgrace.
55:22 Your friends are better than you.
55:24 At least they come and praise me.
55:26 Did Ismail come?
55:28 Yes. How do you know?
55:30 When is he coming?
55:32 (Music)
55:34 (Music)
55:35 (Music)
55:37 (Music)
55:39 (Music)
55:41 (Music)
55:43 (Music)
55:45 (Music)
55:47 (Music)
55:49 (Music)
55:51 Hey, Pinky.
55:53 What am I hearing?
55:55 What?
55:57 Your friend Rinku got pregnant.
55:59 So what?
56:01 She is not married.
56:03 She had a college project.
56:04 Miracle of life.
56:06 Oh. So who is the guy behind her?
56:09 It was a group project.
56:13 Clearly.
56:15 (Laughter)
56:17 Yes. Why did you call me?
56:19 You asshole. You don't ever call me.
56:21 It's a breakup.
56:23 Why do you keep on saying breakup?
56:25 I was busy. I bought mussels.
56:27 Mussels?
56:29 Darling, which color is it?
56:32 I mean, it's very cute.
56:33 When did you buy it? Where did you buy it?
56:35 Where is it?
56:37 On my laptop.
56:39 (Laughter)
56:41 (Crying)
56:43 Tina, why are you crying?
56:46 What happened?
56:48 Rohan can't marry me.
56:50 Why? What happened?
56:52 But he loves you, right?
56:54 Yes. We love each other a lot.
56:56 So what's the problem?
56:58 Why can't he marry you?
57:01 His family is not agreeing.
57:02 I will talk to his family.
57:04 Call their house.
57:06 One wife and two kids.
57:08 (Laughter)
57:10 (Phone ringing)
57:14 Hello.
57:20 Hello. Darling, when are you coming home?
57:23 Darling, don't call. I am in trouble.
57:26 Oh darling, don't say that.
57:28 I am in trouble.
57:30 Not like that.
57:31 Say it like this.
57:33 We are in trouble.
57:35 Okay. We are in trouble.
57:37 And we are going to have a baby with my secretary.
57:40 Oh my God!
57:42 (Music)
57:44 (Laughter)
57:59 Oh no!
58:00 Suji.
58:02 Suji.
58:06 What did you call me for?
58:09 I have made a new mail ID for my company.
58:14 Just set the password.
58:18 You know what I mean?
58:21 Yes.
58:23 Sir, what should I write?
58:28 What should I write?
58:29 Write 'Dick'.
58:32 Sir, the password is rejected.
58:38 Yours is too small.
58:40 (Laughter)
58:42 Did you name this Suji?
58:46 Sir, this is my original name.
58:48 Very nice. I like it very much.
58:51 Why did you leave your job?
58:54 Sir, I hate old men.
58:57 My boss was aged and a bit of a turkey.
59:02 And I like young people like you.
59:04 That's good.
59:06 How much salary do you want?
59:08 One lakh per month.
59:11 I will give you five lakhs.
59:14 Sir, you are joking.
59:16 You started it.
59:18 (Laughter)
59:20 Sir.
59:26 What is this?
59:27 I have a headache.
59:29 I am fed up of this campaign.
59:33 I am in a lot of trouble.
59:35 Sir, can I help you?
59:37 Please.
59:39 Okay. Just a second.
59:41 It's done.
59:47 Very good. Tell me.
59:49 How would you feel if somebody turns you on and leaves?
59:53 (Laughter)
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