Rick and Morty 7x01

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Rick and Morty 7x01 Season 7, Episode 1: Poopy Gets His Poop Back -  Cold Open Mr. Poopybutthole Overstays His Welcome

Transcript

00:00 (glass clinking)

00:01 - Ugh, any clue when our house guest

00:03 is finally gonna leave?

00:04 It'd be nice to have the living room back.

00:06 - I keep tripping on all his top hats.

00:08 - He's always messing with my TiVo.

00:09 It's an antique.

00:10 The buttons are fragile.

00:12 - Big surprise that dad's avoiding all this.

00:14 - Guys, he's a family friend.

00:15 He can stay as long as he needs.

00:17 - Hey, so I just sold some drugs

00:19 to the weird little dude in there.

00:20 He said you had cash.

00:21 Oh, you kids in school?

00:23 You having trouble focusing?

00:24 - Okay, that's it.

00:25 Morty, find your grandfather

00:26 while I go talk to our house guest.

00:27 Jerry, pay the dealer.

00:29 - Yeah, I prefer the term pharmacist.

00:31 - Who do they?

00:32 - Any chance you have--

00:34 - Sorry, I left my wallet in space.

00:36 - Are you leaving to get it?

00:39 - Mr. Poopybutthole, this has gone far enough.

00:43 We have been really cool to you in your time of need.

00:46 - I agree, Beth.

00:48 I'm a piece of garbage.

00:50 Can you boost me up so I can hook my belt

00:53 to the ceiling fan?

00:54 - We don't have a ceiling fan.

00:56 - Oh, wait.

00:57 Is that why it's so hot?

00:59 They're not expensive.

01:01 (sighs)

01:02 Bet you didn't expect to see me in a cold open, huh?

01:05 Looks like I'm taking another turn for the worse.

01:08 It all started when Beth shot me.

01:10 - I said I was sorry.

01:12 - I know.

01:12 It tore you up inside like a bullet.

01:15 - It was an accident!

01:17 - Anyway, then I got fired from my job.

01:20 My wife left me.

01:21 Broke both my legs.

01:23 Failed the bar exam.

01:25 Oh, wee, things went downhill from there.

01:27 So I've been crashing with the Smiths for a while.

01:30 Oh, wee, I'm Mr. Poopybutthole

01:33 and this is Rick and Morty season seven!

01:35 (dramatic music)

01:38 (dramatic music)

01:41 (dramatic music)

01:44 (dramatic music)

01:47 (dramatic music)

01:50 (dramatic music)

01:53 (sirens)

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