Alf's Hit Talk Show | show | 2004 | Official Trailer - video Dailymotion

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ALF's Hit Talk Show is an American cable television talk show that aired on TV Land in 2004 for seven episodes. The host | dHNfd0FPM0tqUWFvZDg

Transcript

00:00 [Music]

00:26 From the historic Sunset Boulevard in Hollywood, it's Al's Hit Talk Show.

00:32 [Music]

00:42 If that doesn't work, there's always the prenup.

00:44 I didn't have one. You know why?

00:46 What?

00:47 Because I didn't have one in my first marriage, it would have been right for me to ask somebody else if it worked.

00:49 How many times do you need to make the same mistake?

00:52 They've got CSI Miami, and then they took it and they've got CSI New York, right?

00:59 I figured out what CSI stands for. Copying Same Idea.

01:04 Exactly where it is you're from. That looks like my colon.

01:07 E-Miles. E-Miles.

01:10 E-Miles.

01:13 May I call you Vinny? I don't want to upset you.

01:16 But do we know each other well enough for you to call me Vinny?

01:18 Well, that's what I'm asking. You want me to call you something else?

01:21 Call me Vincent.

01:23 Come on, you can call me Vinny. Come on, let me shake my hand again.

01:26 Don't touch me.

01:28 [Laughter]

01:30 [Music]

01:33 Waterproofing your underwear can cut laundry bills in half and give you time for other important things.

01:41 [Laughter]

01:43 Oh, watch it. You okay? Be careful, this is cable. We don't have insurance.

01:47 [Laughter]

01:49 Your name is F.

01:50 No, Alf.

01:51 No, Alf.

01:52 Well, it depends on where you're from. That's a half-alf way of saying it.

01:56 [Laughter]

01:59 You were like slithering an ointment and they were shaving you and sleepwalking in your underwear.

02:04 And this is nice from a man from a cloth.

02:06 [Laughter]

02:07 Sounds like you should be wearing a cloth.

02:09 Yes, a loincloth.

02:11 A loincloth, yeah.

02:12 I would like to know, were you in a performance of Cats?

02:16 I was on stage with Cats, but I wasn't a performer. I thought it was a buffet.

02:21 [Laughter]

02:22 [Screams]

02:23 [Applause]

02:25 Listen, you know, we have something in common.

02:27 What's that?

02:28 Well, I have eaten cat.

02:30 [Laughter]

02:33 You are saying all the right things.

02:36 [Laughter]

02:37 They said that I had Leno's wit, Letterman's teeth, and Conan O'Brien's hair.

02:44 [Laughter]

02:47 Yes, yes, yes.

02:48 You with the bad teeth.

02:49 How do you maintain such a soft, luxurious coat?

02:52 Ah, one word, conditioner. I drink a bottle every day.

02:56 This is my first professional job. I wore less clothes than you do.

03:00 Well, I'm not wearing any pants right now.

03:02 [Laughter]

03:04 Shine on, shine on, harvest moon.

03:08 [Humming]

03:09 Up in the sky.

03:11 [Humming]

03:12 I have had no love since January, February, June, July, the Nixon administration.

03:22 Just in time. I found you just in time. Before you came, my time was running low.

03:33 Yeah.

03:34 Get him out.

03:35 I was lost. The losing dice were tossed. My bridges all were crossed. Nowhere to go.

03:47 I'm out. Thanks for coming. We'll see you next time.

03:51 [Music]

03:54 (music)

03:56 [BLANK_AUDIO]

Alf's Hit Talk Show | show | 2004 | Official Trailer

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