Just A Dash Temporada 1 Matty Matheson

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Transcript

00:00 I love myself today, not like yesterday.

00:04 I'm cool, I'm cruel, I'm gonna be okay.

00:09 You serious?

00:13 Today is the day!

00:17 I'm back!

00:18 (laughing)

00:19 I'm Matty Matheson and welcome to Just a Dash.

00:24 This is a cooking show literally about nothing.

00:27 Today we will be making.

00:30 Sound guy coughing.

00:32 I was performing.

00:33 (coughing)

00:36 I'm just trapped in this kitchen

00:37 with all of these people trying to make me fail.

00:40 This whole show is just me waiting.

00:44 Do you think I overcooked it?

00:45 Fuck!

00:46 I'm the producer, I'm the director,

00:48 I'm the fucking key grip.

00:50 Good thing I'm such a good cook, aren't I?

00:52 Sweet, sweet cum sauce.

00:55 We can't make that a joke, right?

00:57 Like there's no way we can work that in, is there?

01:00 (laughing)

01:02 I'm trying to describe the sauce.

01:09 But it's cum, you saw it, it's cum.

01:11 Or maybe your cum doesn't look, I don't know.

01:13 Doesn't look like my cum.

01:15 It's not cummy.

01:16 I just came full circle, sauce isn't cummy, okay?

01:19 If there's Oscars for YouTube,

01:21 I don't know if we'd ever win for the food

01:23 'cause the food's always dog shit.

01:25 But you know what fucking rips?

01:27 Our set.

01:28 That's what I love about my show.

01:30 This is my mind.

01:33 Oh, you can tell when I've been shooting a long time

01:36 and I just don't care anymore.

01:38 I hate doing this.

01:39 You know?

01:40 I need to show you the reality of cooking shows is fun.

01:43 What the?

01:44 Wow!

01:45 But at the end of the day,

01:46 we're learning really how to fucking cook.

01:49 Everything I make is incredible.

01:51 Nothing but net, nothing but net!

01:54 'Cause I'm fucking number one!

01:56 (cat meows)

02:01 Love you!

02:05 This show's about me, about you,

02:07 it's about food, it's whose food?

02:09 I'm food.

02:09 Okay, bye!

02:10 So sick.

02:13 (upbeat music)

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