Michael Parkinson: Watch legendary broadcaster’s best TV moments

The Independent

Michael Parkinson: Best TV moments as legendary interviewer dies aged 88Parkinson, BBC; Parkinson, ITV, An Audience With Michael Parkinson, BBC World

Transcript

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00:46 - And I always ask my mother,

00:51 I said, "Mother, how come is everything white?"

00:54 I said, "Why is Jesus white with blonde and blue eyes?

00:57 Why is the Lord's supper all white men?

01:00 Angels are white, Pope and Mary and even the angels."

01:05 I said, "Mother, when we die, do we go to heaven?"

01:08 She said, "Naturally, we go to heaven."

01:10 I said, "Well, what happened to all the black angels

01:12 when they took the pictures?"

01:13 (audience laughing)

01:16 I said, "Oh, I know.

01:23 If the white folks was in heaven too,

01:25 then the black angels were in the kitchen

01:28 preparing the milk and honey."

01:29 (audience laughing)

01:31 She said, "Listen, you quit saying that."

01:32 Well, I was always curious

01:33 and I always wondered why I had to die to go to heaven.

01:35 Why I couldn't have pretty cars

01:37 and good money and nice homes now?

01:39 Why do I have to wait till I die to get milk and honey?"

01:42 And I said, "Mama, I don't want no milk and honey.

01:45 I like steaks."

01:45 And I said, "Milk and honey is a laxative anyway.

01:49 (audience laughing)

01:50 Do they have a lot of bathrooms in heaven?"

01:52 - This is a great honor for me

01:53 because I can remember being, I don't know,

01:56 eight or nine years old and my mom would allow me

01:59 to stay up beyond a certain time in the evening

02:04 only to watch the Parkinson's show.

02:05 She thought it would be a bit of quality watching.

02:07 So I'm very, very privileged to be here.

02:09 - Well, that's very kind of you.

02:11 Very kind of you.

02:11 It's good to have you.

02:12 - And she probably wouldn't have been quite as thrilled

02:16 that I had to take my willy out to get on here.

02:18 (audience laughing)

02:21 - Going back to this thing about image,

02:25 do you feel that David is perhaps better,

02:26 has a better public persona, image than you have?

02:29 - I think he does have now.

02:31 I don't think that he did a few years ago.

02:33 And I think that sometimes when you can get down

02:35 and think, "Oh God, why don't people understand me?

02:38 Why are they saying this?

02:39 Why are they saying that?

02:40 What better person to look at than my own husband

02:42 to see how somebody can turn all that around?"

02:45 I mean, David is, I call him golden (beep)

02:49 you know now because I mean,

02:50 (audience laughing)

02:53 you know, because now,

02:54 (audience laughing)

02:56 is that gonna be one of those?

02:57 - Golden balls back to me.

02:59 (audience laughing)

03:01 It's a golden nut, isn't it?

03:02 - That's gonna be,

03:03 I know, that's one of those things I shouldn't have said,

03:05 but.

03:06 (audience laughing)

03:09 I was,

03:09 (audience laughing)

03:11 I was watching.

03:12 - See, it's like shooting with him.

03:13 I always have to stay in character.

03:15 Make sure you know what he's gonna say.

03:16 - I was watching the news.

03:18 And of course, it led up to this thing,

03:21 this thing that we're gonna talk about, which was him.

03:24 But I didn't know, you know, because it was Japanese.

03:27 And a white airplane came on the screen,

03:30 like from the front, you know, coming on the screen,

03:33 this white, and the door opened,

03:34 and he looked at it and smiled,

03:36 and the hair flocked like that.

03:38 And I thought, Jesus, I fancy a moussele.

03:40 (audience laughing)

03:43 Did I say?

03:49 - You're looking wonderful.

03:50 You're ageless.

03:52 - Well, I'm trying to be ageless.

03:55 I haven't, I've had a little work done, but.

03:57 - Have you?

03:58 - Not quite as much as some of you.

04:00 (audience laughing)

04:01 No.

04:02 - Don't look at me when you say that.

04:03 - Yeah.

04:04 - Keep your eyes that way.

04:04 - No.

04:05 (audience laughing)

04:07 - But the thing is, you are still recognizable.

04:10 That's what I mean.

04:10 (audience laughing)

04:11 You know, some people, you know this as well as I do.

04:15 They go in, they go in to see these cosmetic surgeons,

04:19 and they forget, before the anesthetic takes over,

04:22 they forget to say, I want people to know who I am

04:26 when I come out.

04:26 (audience laughing)

04:27 You know, they go in,

04:29 they go in like a Mercedes,

04:33 and they come out like the backside of a Ford Mondeo.

04:36 (audience laughing)

04:40 - So, but you've resisted the temptation so far.

04:42 - Very much so.

04:43 I have just a little tightening here and there.

04:46 - Of course.

04:47 - Nowhere you can see.

04:49 (audience laughing)

04:52 It's not unusual.

04:59 (audience laughing)

05:02 (audience applauding)

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