The Elvira Show | movie | 1993 | Official Clip - video Dailymotion

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A pair of witches and their pet cat welcome a long-lost niece into their new Kansas home and also have to contend with a | dG1fNmJUOG1HdlZYLTg

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00:00 (audience laughing)

00:02 - Mother Superior would never approve of that outfit.

00:06 (audience laughing)

00:07 - Hey, opportunity only gives you knockers once.

00:10 (audience laughing)

00:13 - Paige, darling, come, sit down

00:16 and tell us all about yourself.

00:19 - Yes, what do you like to do for fun?

00:22 - Well, I like to clean.

00:24 (audience laughing)

00:28 - Well, then this place ought to be one big nonstop party

00:30 for you, girl.

00:31 (audience laughing)

00:33 - I hope so.

00:34 I've always dreamed of having a happy, normal family life.

00:38 Sunday drives, playing Scrabble by the fire,

00:42 setting up a lemonade stand in the front yard.

00:45 - Oh, and you can be June Cleaver

00:47 and Minerva can be Ward and I'll be the beaver.

00:50 (audience laughing)

00:57 - Oh, Minerva, she's way too straight to be one of us.

00:59 - You're right.

01:00 Sometimes the gift can skip a generation.

01:03 We'd better find out.

01:04 - Okay, but remember, be subtle.

01:07 - Subtle is my middle name.

01:10 (audience laughing)

01:11 - So, Paige, when did you consummate your union

01:14 with the incubus?

01:15 (audience laughing)

01:17 - Minerva says she always gets constipated

01:20 when she rides the bus.

01:21 (audience laughing)

01:24 - Minerva, remind me to make you that appointment

01:26 with Dr. Kevorkian.

01:28 (audience laughing)

01:31 - So, Paige, you know, my brother was quite gifted.

01:36 Surely you must have inherited some of his talents.

01:41 - Yes, I did.

01:43 I can speak Latin and play the accordion.

01:47 (audience laughing)

01:48 - Where, Our Lady of Perpetual Polka?

01:51 (audience laughing)

01:52 - Um, listen, Paige, why don't you just run on upstairs

01:55 and take a nice, long, hot bath?

01:57 - All right.

01:58 - If she bloats, she's a witch.

02:02 If she drowns, our troubles are over.

02:04 (audience laughing)

02:07 - Officer Taylor is here to see you.

02:11 Show him in.

02:13 - Officer Taylor reporting.

02:16 - Thank you, Maxine, that will be all.

02:19 - Mm-hmm.

02:20 (audience laughing)

02:24 (door slams)

02:26 - Hey there, pretty lady.

02:27 - Don't you pretty lady me.

02:29 - Ooh, Chip, as in potato?

02:33 Bet I can't eat just one.

02:34 (audience laughing)

02:36 - Well, I guess I don't have to ask if the wire worked.

02:39 - Officer Taylor, in case you forgot,

02:41 your assignment was to nail her.

02:43 (audience laughing)

02:46 - Believe me, there is nothing I'd rather do.

02:48 (audience laughing)

02:49 - Chip, I don't want you going back in there alone.

02:53 That love potion she sold Lorraine Wiesner

02:55 put her in the hospital.

02:57 What if she drugs you and takes advantage of you?

03:02 - Yeah.

03:04 (audience laughing)

03:05 - That'd be nuts.

03:06 - Yeah, that would be terrible.

03:08 - You just remember, Chippy,

03:11 I'm gonna be listening to everything that goes on tonight.

03:14 And if you're not out of there by 10 o'clock,

03:17 I'm sending in the SWAT team.

03:19 (audience laughing)

03:22 (footsteps tapping)

03:24 - Come on, carpet, say ah.

03:26 (audience laughing)

03:29 (coughing)

03:32 - Oh, going somewhere, dear?

03:37 (audience laughing)

03:40 - Very funny.

03:44 I've got a date with Chip tonight

03:45 and I plan on getting rug burns

03:47 on every square inch of my body.

03:49 (audience laughing)

03:50 - Okay, I finished cleaning the oven,

03:54 but I'm still waiting for the freezer to defrost.

03:57 - Oh, you can finish that later, Cinderella.

03:59 Right now, you and Aunt Minerva

04:01 are going out to have some fun.

04:04 So just run on upstairs and change clothes.

04:06 - I did.

04:08 (audience laughing)

04:10 - Oh yeah, the rubber gloves are a nice touch.

04:13 (audience laughing)

04:15 Let's see, there must be lots of fun things

04:18 for you guys to do in this town.

04:20 Look, the future farmers of the Flatlands

04:22 are having a cake walking corn shucking contest.

04:25 (audience laughing)

04:26 That sounds like fun.

04:28 - Well, actually, I'm rather tired.

04:30 Why don't you go shuck yourself, dear?

04:33 (audience laughing)

04:36 - Minerva.

04:38 - Okay, okay.

04:40 Come, child.

04:41 We are going to paint the town gray.

04:44 - And Minerva, kick Snay on the ajigme

04:48 in front of H.P.

04:49 - Yeah, upgrade.

04:51 (audience laughing)

04:54 (spraying)

04:59 (spraying)

05:02 (spraying)

05:05 (audience laughing)

05:08 (audience laughing)

05:18 (spraying)

05:21 - Entree.

05:22 - Hi.

05:26 - Oh, Chip, I wasn't expecting you so soon.

05:30 And look at me, I'm a mess.

05:32 (audience laughing)

05:34 - I think you look pretty cute.

05:37 - Oh, don't you say that to all the ghouls.

05:39 (audience laughing)

05:41 Sit down and make yourself comfortable.

05:43 Oops.

05:46 (audience laughing)

05:48 Can I get you a beverage?

05:51 - Oh, you made a drink.

05:54 Oh, sure.

05:55 Well, how about that love potion?

05:56 - Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip, Chip.

06:00 Why would a handsome stud like you need a love potion?

06:04 - Well, sometimes I have, you know, a problem.

06:09 - Oh, problem.

06:12 Oh, that kind of problem.

06:16 Oh, well, I think we could fix that

06:17 with a little physical therapy.

06:20 (audience laughing)

06:22 - That would be great, but how about the love potion first?

06:25 - Well, okay.

06:28 I'll get the potion, then you get the notion.

06:31 Ow!

06:32 (audience laughing)

06:35 I wonder if this is gonna be strong enough.

06:44 I don't know how big his problem is.

06:47 (audience laughing)

06:50 I know.

06:51 I'll just add a little extra starch.

06:55 (audience laughing)

06:58 Here we are, a nice, stiff drink.

07:04 (audience laughing)

07:07 - Thanks, Elvira.

07:08 What do I owe you?

07:09 - Oh, it's on me.

07:11 And after you drink it, you will be too.

07:14 (audience laughing)

07:17 - I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take it to go.

07:18 You see, I have a date.

07:21 - A date?

07:22 Chip, no.

07:23 Let me see your hand.

07:25 Oh, oh no, Chip, she's all wrong for you.

07:27 I mean, she's all sweaty and wrinkled and calloused.

07:31 Take my advice.

07:34 Drop her.

07:35 Drop her like a hot potato, Chip.

07:37 (audience laughing)

07:40 - You're making it awful hard on me, but.

07:43 (audience laughing)

07:45 I really gotta go.

07:47 Uh, can I have the potion back, please?

07:49 - No, why should I, you two-timer?

07:51 - Hey, give me that.

07:52 - No.

07:53 - Give me that. - No.

07:54 - Give me that. - No.

07:55 (glass shattering)

07:57 (Elvira screaming)

The Elvira Show | movie | 1993 | Official Clip

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