The Outdoors Suck. Team Indoors For Life.

  • 4 years ago
So for weeks YP has been yammering on about his famous Central Park fishing spot. This secret spot that the world doesn’t know about and the carp flock instinctively like the salmon of the Capistrano. Me and Kev are pretty indoorsy folks, he didn’t earn the nickname “Couch” by accident and my mom didn’t use to literally force me outside by throwing me out the door like a bouncer for nothing.

But guess what? We went to this famed secret spot (it literally has a path leading to it and gaggles of school children gather there, there’s a gazebo nearby and you can see the street). We tried to survive in the wilderness and we did just fine, but it did nothing to change my mind about being team indoors. YP waxed poetic about the peacefulness, about the solitude and the scenery. Look, I don’t hate those things, I just like Netflix more.


And you know what? I genuinely envy YP. I don’t like being the person I am, in fact I despise it. I wish I could look at a tree and admire its beauty, I wish I could throw bread in water and be excited when a fish eats it, I think having passion is a very awesome thing. I just don’t have it and prefer sitting at home with my computer on my lap and killing my sperm.

PS – When Logan told me to write this blog I thought, “Kinda dumb to put up a video at 6 oclock on Memorial Day Friday.” It’s not Friday, apparently.