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Sometimes I confuse myself. I get wildly and pointlessly jealous. I spend too much time hating my bum. And you know what I hate more than my bum? My preoccupation with my bum. I ve had sexual experiences with boys I wasn t really in to, but I got a post-coital crush on them. I ve ruined the start of a relationship by immediately imagining it going into reverse. There is so much about my behaviour I want to understand. So I started researching what makes me - and us - tick. And what I read made my eyes fall out of my face. Reader, here is everything I ve learned from science about love, sexuality, infidelity, boobs, periods, pubes, broodiness, and clever old fat. Merry Christmas and Hallelujah, suddenly being a woman doesn t look like such a minefield after all.