Parched Zombie Pauses For A Drink Before Continuing To Slaughter
- 7 years ago
Few people are aware that zombies on rare occasion will drink water. As zombies consume human brains and other body parts, it's been reported that the zombie body can become severely dehydrated.
Dr. G. Hart-Ley professor from Saint Copious of Northern in the Biology and Life/Death Sciences Department, has spent close to two decades studying the habits and effects on the plight of the Midwestern zombie.
Technically identified as:
*Homo Coprophagus Somnambulus
*Homo Necrosis Zombifis/Zombificus
*Homo Necro-Resurectus
*Post-Mortem Ambulants
or most commonly known in layman terms as "zombie."
In her most recent New York Times best selling book, "Zombie: My Daughter, My Friend" Dr. G. Hart-Ley suggests that the zombie may occasionally require water due to the overload of electrolytes the zombie consumes in short-order from it's victims. This is based upon the zombie's severely altered metabolism due to decay/decomposition, some additional unknown factors related to why they're alive in the first place, and in general, death.
Although Dr. Hart-Ley has met with considerable resistance from the medical community and other independent doctors due to her methods and questionable results, no other expert in Dr. Hart-Ley's field can prove her findings inaccurate.
Stay tuned for our special "two-on-one" interview with Dr. G. Hart-Ley and our roving team of WJXT-4's Vic "Dumb-Fuck" Micolucci and sister channel WPTV-5's Michelle Quesadilla¿?
With additional grunt-fieldwork done by our diversity plump intern, Heather Crawfish.
Dr. G. Hart-Ley professor from Saint Copious of Northern in the Biology and Life/Death Sciences Department, has spent close to two decades studying the habits and effects on the plight of the Midwestern zombie.
Technically identified as:
*Homo Coprophagus Somnambulus
*Homo Necrosis Zombifis/Zombificus
*Homo Necro-Resurectus
*Post-Mortem Ambulants
or most commonly known in layman terms as "zombie."
In her most recent New York Times best selling book, "Zombie: My Daughter, My Friend" Dr. G. Hart-Ley suggests that the zombie may occasionally require water due to the overload of electrolytes the zombie consumes in short-order from it's victims. This is based upon the zombie's severely altered metabolism due to decay/decomposition, some additional unknown factors related to why they're alive in the first place, and in general, death.
Although Dr. Hart-Ley has met with considerable resistance from the medical community and other independent doctors due to her methods and questionable results, no other expert in Dr. Hart-Ley's field can prove her findings inaccurate.
Stay tuned for our special "two-on-one" interview with Dr. G. Hart-Ley and our roving team of WJXT-4's Vic "Dumb-Fuck" Micolucci and sister channel WPTV-5's Michelle Quesadilla¿?
With additional grunt-fieldwork done by our diversity plump intern, Heather Crawfish.